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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.      Home login  
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 anjelic
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 24
Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
So his dad doesn't except you? Him?
The fact you have another boyfriend?

Confusing.

Hey, if you are not happy the way things are, propose or move on.
I hope rings aren't that important to you.

Maybe that's part of the problem. Ring Ring Ring
 rune3
Joined: 7/13/2006
Msg: 25
Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/19/2009 12:56:32 AM
Well obviously, before you marry someone, you have to be intimate enough with them to be able to talk about it.

Maybe he's waiting for you to reach that stage.

Does he know that you want to get married? Do you know if he does? What does marriage mean to you and to him? You need to talk with each other.
 airconditioninthesummer
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 26
Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/19/2009 1:05:52 AM
OP, no. he won't propose. my condolences. if he thought he should, he would have done it after the first year. sorry.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 27
Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/19/2009 1:16:03 AM

I am getting impatient.

Why don't you propose?
 City Nytelytes
Joined: 6/17/2009
Msg: 28
Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/19/2009 2:04:36 AM
From what you just wrote , you never clearly indicated that you actually told him you wish to marry. Sorry but men are not mind readers. If things are good between you, then why not ask him about it and have a mature conversation. You could get impatient and do something rash but I guarantee that will lead to nowhere but trouble. I also have to add that time spent is not prerequisite to get married, its a whole lot deeper than that.
 odin1642
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 29
Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/19/2009 2:08:46 AM
Well if his dad wouldn't accept his boyfriend, in fairness his dad might be looking out for you too, some families still have traditional values you know.....
 dysfunction_junction
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 30
Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:07:54 AM
here are some reasons for your impatience. take your pick.

--- you've never actually discussed it with him
--- you can actually believe with a straight face that he owes you a formal contract after X years together
--- you have an elaborately constructed ideal built up in your head about how things will be when you finally get what you want
--- you don't realize that NOTHING is going to magically change about your relationship once you've had your princess day
--- you can't/won't openly communicate your thoughts & feelings with the guy you say you want to marry

...none of which bodes well for a relationship that has been formalized through the process of matrimony
 joebean1026
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 31
Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/19/2009 12:01:33 PM
there is a 'natural' progression to a relationship. You are approaching the threshold of the procrastination pahse...

You need to ask yourself "is my popcorn machine broken". Men and relationships are like popcorn machines. You as a woman are looking for popcorn (a relationship with a man who will commit to marriage)... You shop around (date), looking for a popcorn machine (man) that you like. You spot a nice popcorn machine (man) that you are attracted too... you walk up to the popcorn machine, and invest (your emotional energy) into a box of popcorn. You can look into the popcorn machine, see the mechanicals working, see the popcorn popping (he tells you your right for him, fit him well, ect)... yet NO POPCORN COMES OUT.... (he never asks you to marry him)...

At one point, you have to realize and acknowledge this particular popcorn machine is broken, and will never produce a box of popcorn (marriage).

Talk to him about it, directly and with respect and empathy... but talk to him....

It's hard, but you may just have to walk away from this particualr popcorn machine, and find another one....

In so far as the parents "approval" -- who is leading your life, you or your parents. Empathize with your parents, understand they are 'loosing' their child to a stranger... but let them know your feelings and ask for their support no matter who you choose. They love you and want you to be happy, that is all that should be important.... if not, just go for someone they pick?? (naw......)

P.S. this is not original to me, read it on the web and I like it.....
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 32
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Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/19/2009 12:21:19 PM
You are 22? The chances of you getting married and not being divorce are almost nil at this stage of your life so why rush it? Do you have a way to support yourself? Do you live on your own and pay all your own bills? Have you both saved up enough to pay for the wedding, honeymoon and a place to live together for several years? If not, then you aren't financially ready to get engaged. But the fact is, your boyfriend doesn't to get engaged & married yet, so it's a no go, I mean what are you going to do, nag him, shame him, force him, whine???

Your choices are to stay together and work toward marriage in the future or moving on to a man who is more in step with what you want from a relationship. If his father hates you, that's a big red flag and a good chance of ruining any future you have together. Why does his father hate you? You might want to put the tyring to get married on a shelf for now and work on the dynamics going on in your relationship to your boyfriend's father and how that effects all three of you. Twenty-two is really way too young to be thinking marriage, you should be having fun, getting an education and setting up a career or job choice that will support the lifestyle you want.

What ever you do, DO NOT get pregnant, that is not an answer and a child is not a pawn to get you your way. I'm not saying you would do that, I'm saying don't even go there, please.
 labyrinths end
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 33
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Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:14:27 AM
try this

hun
supposing one day i felt like getting married...wou;d you marry me if yoy still loved me?
i think i might want to marry one day

what about you

im not asking for a proposal from u right now
just seeing how u feel about marriage in general

good luck sweet girl
dont act cranky in the meantime
 ~GoneSailing~
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 34
Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:17:39 AM
My son is 21 and has been "dating" his GF for nearly 7 years. When you begin seeing someone at a young age it leads to notions of marriage and babies etc., far before you are mentally and emotionally "grown up" enough for the situations that follow marriage.

Slow down.
Don't rush.

But definitely be certain that marriage IS in your future with this young man. Otherwise you may be wasting time
 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 35
Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:20:12 AM
OP! You're only 22 years old! If you got married now you'd be divorced with a bunch of kids before your 30th birthday. Is that what you want???
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 36
Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:21:34 AM
Why can't people just let well enough alone? Is the dress that important? LOL
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 37
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Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:40:00 AM
You have ever right to be impatient as it has been three years. At 22 you and your boyfriend are full adults and should be more than ready for marriage. You have waited a lot longer than I would, at your age, at my age or at any age.

As to money, that shouldn't be an issue as you are both living now, and living together should only make that easier.

It sounds like his dad doesn't accept him for who he is or the fact that he is with you, the dad should now be a non issue. He should not let his dad have any say in who he marries.

If it were me, I would let him know how I felt about it. The way I see it, if after three years he isn't ready to marry you, he never will be.
 whothehellknows
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 38
Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:47:26 AM
I've never seen the attraction of marriage. I mean some people obviously like it as they have gotten married 2-3+ times, but around half of all marriages fail. No one ever goes in thinking "This is going to be a cool few years before we break up," but yet it happens. If the relationship is going well, why screw it up?
 Catinka2008
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 39
Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:57:29 AM
Why don't you propose to him, or have a talk about it. Ask if he sees the two of you getting married...if you're old enought to consider marriage and have an adult relationship, you ca'nt be squeamish about the discussion.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 40
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Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/22/2009 9:11:12 AM

I've never seen the attraction of marriage. I mean some people obviously like it as they have gotten married 2-3+ times, but around half of all marriages fail. No one ever goes in thinking "This is going to be a cool few years before we break up," but yet it happens. If the relationship is going well, why screw it up?


It is possible that you will fail at anything you might try, but it doesn't mean you don't try. It is also impossible to be successful at something if you never try.

Also it would seem that the relationship isn't going well for the op, just the boyfriend. She clearly isn't happy.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 41
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Will he ever propose? We've been together for almost 3 years.
Posted: 7/22/2009 9:48:55 AM
22, what is the rush? I believe the biggest mistake of my life was marrying at 23. I missed out on a lot being tied to a partner so young.
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