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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 7:11:08 AM | Reality is raising kids is exhausingly hard work, that no one can do everything right all the time. When one person is trying to do it alone it is all that much harder. They cannot expect to come here and have every one say crap like "you rock" when in so many of these cases the girl made the decision on her own to take this life path.
The kid becomes her ticket to ride, the kid ends up paying the fare down the line. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 7:54:37 AM |
It should be divided up into AT LEAST 3 groups, divorced parents, widowed parents, and unwed parents, where "unwed"would mean never married.
There is no point to dividing parents up into categories because outside the specific issues to single parents, i.e. when do I introduce the kids, how do I date if I have babysitter issues, how does one blend a family successfully, the majority of the questions posted in this thread are PARENTING questions. If we stop pointing fingers and labeling each other, people would get much more cogent advice about how to raise their children well, something we all need because all of us, no matter how well or how poorly we are doing it, no matter how much we have read and how much parenting experience under our belts, are flying by the seats of our pants.
Case in point, a woman at church is struggling with her eldest daughter. She is a wonderful SAHM with a great husband and she is at her wit's end with how to deal with this kid. She would be in the exact same situation with the kid if she was a single mother without an involved father, how to deal with the kid but here, it always seems necessary to castigate the woman or man for their single parenthood, sigh.
Now that is what I'm talking about; people should only be able to click on this link if they have children.
Don't remotely agree with that, yes it seems more irritating when a person without kids is on here being a douche but that is because they are an asshat not because they have had no children. And the no box in the children category doesn't also necessarily mean that the person has no parenting experience because they may be a step-parent, may even still have relationships with the step-children but may not have felt that marking yes in that box was honest because he/she has no biological children. And color me stupid, even if you haven't raised a child, you have been a child and have had a relationship with your parents or whoever else raised you. Bing comes to mind as someone that is young, has no children, and often adds valuable insight to this forum.
It is a free site and a free country, unless you live in Yemen, so if you don't like what someone says you have the choice to respond and rip them a new one or ignore the bullshit comments for what they are.
This is the internet, a forum on a website... there's no love here. Even if you think it's love... it's just a person behind a monitor screen who can be anybody they want to be.
Gonna have to disagree again. I think there are many people here that care about other people and do not have to have a face-to-face relationship with them to do so. Also, people can offer support and advice which IMO constitutes love to complete strangers. Read some of the threads where a parent has come on here and related the loss of a child or pours out their heart because they are unable to help their child. I have seen numerous heartfelt responses that illustrate if nothing else, significant empathy probably coupled with the by the grace of God go I attitude.
One person's idea of being vicious and cruel is another person's idea of simply stating the truth. It is usually the person being questioned who views other people's opinions as being "vicious and cruel."
I may be wrong but vicious and cruel is pretty much vicious and cruel. You can tell someone that they have made piss poor decisions without also telling them they are a piece of shit, I think that is the basic difference. Oddly enough, it is similar to the way some of us parent our children, by telling them that we love them but we aren't necessarily jazzed about certain behaviors. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 7:59:27 AM | i dont ever recall reading that we all want to see only warm and bubbly messages and b.s. like "you go girl".... however.... all the negative sterotypes the childless people keep bringing into the forums about single parents...particualrly single mothers, they dont seem to be as mean towards the men... about how all single mom's are undeducated, on welfare, somehow made bad decisions that they should have known from the start they would be alone, how if the father wants to walk out on the situation thats ok we wouldn't want to force him to be a father...afterall maybe she got ontop of herself and got herself pregnant he played no part at all and it isn't his fault he dosnt have enough brain cells to know how to use a condom....why should he bear any of the responsibility afterwards, how all single mom's are sexually premisquious (sp), how we all give no or little consideration of what a man would have to take on to date us, how we are all the, for lack of better words, the bottom feeders of society, sub standard human beings ..........ALL OF THE ABOVE IS CRAP WE COULD DO WITHOUT on the single parent forums.
no one said we didn't want to be realistic and not only see happy postings, but so long as we are in the 21st century and so long as we are being realistic why dont those bringing this negativity get their heads out of their a$$ and realize times have changed, and not every single parent is an uneducated fool on welfare.... some actually have pretty happening careers and are every bit a respectable human being as those who dont have kids. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 8:21:52 AM |
however.... all the negative sterotypes the childless people keep bringing into the forums about single parents
If you take a look back at all those "negative stereotypes" you speak of, most are claimed by people who have kids, no childless people. You like to beleive it's people without kids spewing the hate, because it makes it easier to get angry at them and feel better about yourself.
no one said we didn't want to be realistic and not only see happy postings, but so long as we are in the 21st century and so long as we are being realistic why dont those bringing this negativity get their heads out of their a$$ and realize times have changed, and not every single parent is an uneducated fool on welfare.... some actually have pretty happening careers and are every bit a respectable human being as those who dont have kids.
That right there is a generalization and stereotype that YOU think many people are making, when in fact, if you take a look at most of the threads, they say these things because the OP has admitted to being on welfare, or did not finish high school, or has had several kids by different fathers, etc. The posters are called as they are seen. Of course not all single moms are the way you said that many paint them, but some are. And the ones who portray themselves as such on this site are going to be called out for it. If it doesn't apply to you, and it doesn't affect your life in any way, then why make a deal of it?
I have many friends who are single parents (moms and dads) and I have yet to hear any of them complain that they are being stereotyped in the real world. They may come here and see it, but at the end of the day, they have great lives, great friends and great kids. The only way your going to be offended by what is said here is if it pertains to you. If it doesn't... chuckle to yourself and move on.
and realize times have changed
Yes, times have changes... however, people often don't. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 8:33:12 AM |
they dont seem to be as mean towards the men...
The operative word there is "seem"... how about the threads on "deadbeat" dads....?
I did a look through the more recently updated thread titles there's a pretty good mix of single moms ****ing because they can't find a guy to date them, and single fathers ****ing because they can't find a girl to date them.
However, Single moms keep starting threads with catchy titles... like:
Single Guys With No Kids Suck!!!
MOM OF 6~WHeRe ARe THe Men?!?!
What a Tangled Web I've Woven
where does a single mum find a genuine nice guy
Single lonely mom 4 kids
Why are Men afraid to date Single moms
about how all single mom's are undeducated,
Not all, but many were in school or had to drop out of school when they got pregnant...
on welfare, Of course not. Many do have jobs. I've never once said all single moms are on welfare...
somehow made bad decisions that they should have known from the start they would be alone Yeah, who would have thought just because the guy was drunk all the time, or high on drugs and couldn't hold a job with his high-school drop out education and criminal record and 47 tattoos, that he'd make a bad father.... Like no one could have seen that coming.... | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 8:40:42 AM |
aggrandizement? WTF does that mean bosox? If you have something to say about me, feel free to share your opinion, you are entitled to it.
ag·gran·dize Listen to the pronunciation of aggrandize
Pronunciation:
\ə-ˈgran-ˌdīz also ˈa-grən-\
Function:
transitive verb
Inflected Form(s):
ag·gran·dized; ag·gran·diz·ing
Etymology:
French agrandiss-, stem of agrandir, from a- (from Latin ad-) + grandir to increase, from Latin grandire, from grandis great
Date:
1634
1 : to make great or greater : increase, enlarge 2 : to make appear great or greater : praise highly 3 : to enhance the power, wealth, position, or reputation of | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 8:43:30 AM |
This is the internet, a forum on a website... there's no love here. Even if you think it's love... it's just a person behind a monitor screen who can be anybody they want to be.
Which reminds me of: Grand Unified Theory of Internet Douchebaggery (Theorem) States that: Person + total anonymity = total douche bag. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 9:11:15 AM |
aggrandizement? WTF does that mean bosox? If you have something to say about me, feel free to share your opinion, you are entitled to it.
Calling people that disagree with you vicious and cruel for their differing views or opinions is a serious stretch.
If you want to know how big fish defines a troll, why don't you peruse the forum rules for the definition that applies to this site. In fact, you might want to read the forum rules period. I have so at least when I violate them, I know I am violating them....just sayin'....
My point was that you are participating in this thread that was started only to start a conflict. Do you know what a "showdown" is?
By the way bosox, you do realize you are a single parent right? I mean you are not married to the father of your child. Those people who generalize about single moms are talking about you too.... ...you can agree with them and you know what? That makes you look just as bad as them, worse actually. That you consistently kiss their butt is not unnoticed, nor is it irrelevant. You can try as hard as you want to distance yourself from the "stereotype" but it will be a battle you will continue to fight until you are safely married to the father of your child. You've only been a single mom for a couple of years, come back in 10-12 years of single motherhood and I can guarantee your attitude towards these trolls will be quite different.
I don't agree with people who generalize about all single parents. Obviously you haven't paid attention to all the times I've stood up against the generalizations and been personally attacked for that, too.
Most of the time I have argued with people it's because the basis of their argument is flawed. Come up with a better, stronger leg to stand on and nobody will knock it out from under you. Just saying. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 10:13:58 AM |
Calling people that disagree with you vicious and cruel for their differing views or opinions is a serious stretch.
People can have a different opinion from mine, I respect that right to disagree. What I take offense to is people who declare that basing my opinion on my own experience and not from some scientific study makes my position any less worthy of respect. That has happened more than once in this forum over the past 3 months and it is rather annoying. Some people feel the forum threads should be a "formal" debate anytime someone dares to voice their opinion. God help anyone who wasn't on the debate team in high school....lol who doesn't know the rules of debating. God help anyone who doesn't want to spend hours searching the net for supporting information to post. What ever happened to allowing people to have their own opinion. Why does there have to be a right answer and a wrong answer? Why do you need to be right and others wrong?
The vicious and cruel people I am talking about are people who put down people for the choices they have made in their lives. It is so easy to sit in judgement of someone and I don't see how it benefits when the main purpose seems to be to attack, not help guide someone. Of course the intentions are open to interpretation and we tend to interpret through our perceptions which are a result of our personal life experiences. That is of course why two different people with different perspectives can read the same post and get a different "read" on it.
I don't condon the whole "kick them when they are down" mob mentality I see on this forum from time to time. It sickens me and I do realize when I try to defend the person under attack to many I sound like a bleeding heart but I don't give a shiat, maybe I am a bleeding heart...what is so wrong with that?
My point was that you are participating in this thread that was started only to start a conflict. Do you know what a "showdown" is?
Again, it goes to one's perception......the OP who started this thread may have chosen a controversial tag line but what he wrote in his opening statement was spoken from a place of "good" not a place of "bad". He was simply asking for more humanity in this forum. Others have started threads with the sole purpose of putting down single mothers as undesirable, less valuable persons in society who are nothing but a dreg on society, are whores, etc....... I am not surprised that you cannot see the difference because you always defend one particular troll in these forums........just sayin.
Most of the time I have argued with people it's because the basis of their argument is flawed. Come up with a better, stronger leg to stand on and nobody will knock it out from under you. Just saying.
Have no fear, your attitude of superiority comes shining through here on these forums....we should all be so wise as you. Anyone who bases their position on their life experiences is not worthy of having an opinion, right? Honestly, I agree with more than I disagree with when it comes to what you post but you sure don't seem to give too much leaway for people to have their own opinions if they differ from yours. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 10:34:51 AM | Spider. I understand your point. My guess is that you're one of our friendly neighbors to the north. I thought American law needed reform. Canadian Family Law needs it more.
I am taking my Graduate course online, (Kaplan U) and I am paying for it by taking out a student loan. Is that an option for you. I am sorry about you being laid off what line of work where you in? I might have some leads for you.
You're right about me not reading too many fourms. This is about it. Some blogs about Aviation and International affairs. But that is more professional. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 10:51:42 AM | Reply to M_Church: "I understand where you're coming from....
However, in a lot of cases, people reply to threads with what they feel is appropriate...
I got tired of seeing so many postings bashing men for being shallow, insecure, immature and selfish for not wanting to date "single moms"... at the same time, none of them seem to want to acknowledge that for the most part, they got in this mess because they didn't think...and even worse, some of them didn't think for the second and third (or more) times... so maybe making some of them stop and think might do some good... and maybe, just maybe improve the situation"
Well first off I don't believe you have the right to comment on a single mom's shortcomings, because you, being a male over the age of 48,(And still posting on a dating site) don't seem to be very successful in life yourself. Why haven't you settled down? You should be helping to raise your grandchildren.
Why are you even looking on this site? Well, it's because you are still looking for a female. And how do you have the right judge anyone? Yes, you may be highly intelligent in some ways and be able to sustain an argument, but you don't have a right to judge others when you obviously don't have the best character.
Maybe you should look into the mirror and see what's going on with yourself, before judging. Remember only God can judge. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:01:32 AM | Church is capable of defending himself but I would like to say this.
He does have an even handed approach. He has explained where opinion stems from, and that he is dating. I thought the purpose of this thread was aganist the personal attacks. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:03:15 AM | Thanks gadgetdoc but I doubt I am worth saving. I have lead a most unconventional life and am know paying dearly for it.
Our society has caused the government to get involved in family life moreso than I would think but unfortuanately here in Canada it is the only laws that seem to be of an assumptive nature.
That being that men are guilty and must prove their worth. The laws are not followed as they are written and are not equally applied to both genders.
Most men must pay many dollars to gain equality and I must admit that I am not financially able to afford to "buy" back my rights as a father yet am held financially responsible for a priveledge I do not get to enjoy. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:06:18 AM | I want to answer a question with a question:
Why am I so sexy?
I believe this would not fundamentally change if I were a single father.
So what makes me so sexy? I am just fundamentally delicious? A saint?
A snarky, powerful angel?
/discuss | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:16:11 AM | janesy12 where do you get the idea that m church can't post here, but you can? What makes him less worthy of being here to find someone and post on whatever topics he wants than anyone else? Your a 32 year old single woman... why haven't you settled down? You should be raising your kids. Why are you even looking on this site. And what makes you the decider on who has the best character? And according to you, anyone of a certain age that posts on this site aren't successful?
Please don't answer any of the above questions, I don't care... and neither should you about the reason anyone else is here on this site. So many generalizations you make... if you don't like others making them about you, then you shouldn't do it about others. Only makes sense.
Maybe you should look into the mirror and see what's going on with yourself, before judging.
You should take your own advice. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:24:09 AM | what huh!??! Free beer??? Where do I sign up!
And I have to agree with some of the pp.....the ones doing it aren't going to care or stop. At least it makes it interesting. I come here for the debates really. I have a single parent forum for support that I have been with since finding out I was pregnant. If you come here for support I suggest you look elsewhere. It is sad but that is the truth. You will get one or 2 support posts and then the bashing....oops...er...I mean disagreements will begin. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:29:52 AM |
Well first off I don't believe you have the right to comment on a single mom's shortcomings, because you, being a male over the age of 48,(And still posting on a dating site) don't seem to be very successful in life yourself. Why haven't you settled down?
And how do you base success? Anyway I post on a dating site because of the forums. I was 'settled down' happily living with my G/F until her children ruined the relationship.... Since her children moved out, we have rekindled our relationship and we're working on moving in together again.
You should be helping to raise your grandchildren.
Well, now there's an interesting point... I don't have any grandchildren... My daughter is waiting until she's finished college and has a decent job before she will even entertain the idea. She's been with the same guy for what seems like forever...
My son is younger, and has no plans to settle down or get anyone pregnant. He doesn't want to ruin his life either. His goals are finish college, get a job a house then kids if he is with someone at that point...
My G/F's kids don't have kids either. Her daughter did get pregnant last year.(broken condom) - she got an abortion. She wasn't sure her B/F of three years was going to be there for her...so she opted for not becoming a single mom... The others are working on living before creating life....
but you don't have a right to judge others when you obviously don't have the best character
I just point out the things that people don't like to think about. People then judge themselves. Then when they don't like what they see, they attack the person trying to open their eyes...
Speaking of attacks....
How are you to determine if I have good character or not...?
I'm honest, faithful, intelligent(you said that - thanks), raised my kids well. I don't have a criminal record, don't do drugs, I don't drink liquour but I do like a few beers, I don't smoke, I don't cuss in front of a lady... and I'll be there to help anyone I can who needs help.... I like pets, animals, and surprisinlgy I do like kids... and I still get along civilly with most of my still living Ex's... so, I'd say my character is pretty good... Oh yeah, I don't insult people who insult me in forums... although, I could....
Why are you even looking on this site? Well, it's because you are still looking for a female. No... as I said, I am with my G/F I come here for the forums, and sometimes I too seek advice....... as anyone who has bothered to read more than a few of my posts can attest, I talk about her all the time and I have made it clear in some that I am " happy, not looking to cheat or mess around or have any 3somes or anything of that nature. In short "I AM IN LOVE WITH HER!!!!!!!"
Maybe you should look into the mirror and see what's going on with yourself, before judging. Remember only God can judge.
I can look in the mirror... my postings represent my experiences, so very much they are reflections of my mirror that you're seeing....
There is no god... Maybe if people stopped believing in superstitions and started taking more responsibility for their actions we'd have less problems in the world....
And finally just in case you didn't get it the first time:
"I AM IN LOVE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND !!!!!!!" and I'm not looking for another woman.... | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:40:02 AM | I'm on the fence about this one. I don't like some of the heavy moralism applied to single parents here.
First off, I think the OP isn't accurate. This isn't a support group for single parents. There are already a lot of them on the web. This is a group for talking about single parents in the context of dating.
Sometimes there's too much negativity, but sometimes there's too much idealism. I don't think that every single parent is irresponsible. At the same time, a lot of single parents act like they are superior creatures, and there are a lot of accusations that the only reason men don't automatically date single mothers is that men are stupid or bad. Frankly, I would be a lot more likely to date a single mother who recognized that it comes with extra burdens than one who pretended that it didn't. Probably the same is true with respect to single fathers, but there are far fewer fathers with custody of their children.
The problems go beyond finding a babysitter and time. I had one good relationship with a single mother where there was no extreme family drama, but she was a widow, and her only child was a girl. With divorcees, especially with male children, the modus operandi seems to be like this. The children do everything they can to make life difficult, presumably to drive me away, presumably to get back at their father and/or mother by proxy. The mother is generally oblivious to this and in any case unable to control it. In one instance, I was able to overcome the children's hostility after some years, but the mere fact that I was able to do this caused the mother to start being hostile to me. Perhaps she felt jealousy or envy. In any event, that's drama. Plus, there's also the "hide! the father is coming to pick them up," which is a constant reminder to me that I am a second-class citizen. Mothers who are willing to acknowledge these difficulties, let alone find some way to compensate for them, are few and far between. The postings by single mothers here indicate to me that my experience is typical.
I also don't think it's accurate that nobody sets out to be a single parent. Accidents do happen, but I find it interesting that single parenting is happening at about ten times the rate it did before oral contraceptives existed and before abortion on demand was widely available and no longer only for the wealthy. Either people are a lot more careless than they used to be, or at least some of them are making rational decisions to become single parents. (Perhaps they find later on that it is not so realistic or easy as they had imagined, but that's another story.) In neither way does it particularly support the accident hypothesis. I also have some direct knowledge of women who have become single parents by choice. The first was a woman who was in the same ward as my mother when she was pregnant with me. I have also seen a lot of editors to the editor by single mothers and have talked with some who stated that they made a rational decision to have children on their own.
Especially with women, there is a propensity to believe that nothing they do is ever of their doing. A lot of stories here involve "he got abusive when I was pregnant, and I never knew!" I used to work with victims of domestic violence. I hate domestic violence. When a woman has a child with an abusive man, after that fact, of course getting rid of him is a good idea. At the same time, I have seen literally dozens of instances where a woman has gotten involved with a man who was plainly and obviously an abuser. In those cases, all of her friends can see this danger and keep on warning her, but she ignores the warnings.
Of course, it would be unfair to judge an individual on the basis of statistics. It would also be a misuse of statistics. However, the statistics do give a person pause when considering jumping into this particular dating pool. Furthermore, for every person who acts moralistically toward single mothers, there seem to be ten who dismiss these concerns as trivial and instead heap verbal abuse upon all members of the male sex. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:40:55 AM | Reply to M_Church
The only comment I can say is that you cannot judge a single mother. It is very difficult to experience the pain of labor, the financial struggles, the stigma. You have never faced such difficulties. And as a man, you could never understand. So, please try to respect and cherish women, as you say you love your girlfriend. She also has faced difficulties, I am sure. Don't pass negative comments on single mothers.
As a mature person, I am sure you at least get the point I am trying to make. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 12:50:56 PM | Just have to throw in a few cents more...
I do admit that while bosoxfaninwa, m_church, and futureshock do seem to come on a little strong, I've, personally, learned quite a bit from the posts that they make. They are all intelligent people who do take the time to know where they're coming from when they start/enter into a discussion. They all have a habit of bringing up the less flattering aspects of single parenthood, but I've seen them give credit where it's due. I think that they are more of a devil's advocate type thing that, at least for me, makes me think and points my browser in other directions to check up on some of what they say. Just me, but it seems kinda strange that the ones who supposedly do the bashing are the ones who get bashed the most....I dunno.... | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 1:08:39 PM | itsallinthesoul, \why would you write this:
that you consistently kiss their butt is not unnoticed, nor is it irrelevant. You can try as hard as you want to distance yourself from the "stereotype" but it will be a battle you will continue to fight until you are safely married to the father of your child. You've only been a single mom for a couple of years, come back in 10-12 years of single motherhood and I can guarantee your attitude towards these trolls will be quite different.
And then in your very next post, you do the exact same thing that you accused someone else of:
aw soldier....I was in the grocery store the other day and saw some poptarts and thought of you...and started to laugh...people gave me weird looks. I miss those poptarts analogies of yours...they were great comic relief in this forum. | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 1:11:20 PM |
I don't condon the whole "kick them when they are down" mob mentality I see on this forum from time to time. It sickens me and I do realize when I try to defend the person under attack to many I sound like a bleeding heart but I don't give a shiat, maybe I am a bleeding heart...what is so wrong with that?
So far, the meanest people I have seen in this forum have been totally and completely ignored, so I honestly don't believe that you or anyone else cares that much. Didn't see you come to my defense when I got called names and had negative assumptions made about my personal life, but you were perfectly happy when my opinion ended in telling you that you were a good parent.
An opinion is an opinion, if anyone is not willing and able to hear it, they'd better cut the cord to the internet right now.
The vicious and cruel people I am talking about are people who put down people for the choices they have made in their lives. It is so easy to sit in judgement of someone and I don't see how it benefits when the main purpose seems to be to attack, not help guide someone. Of course the intentions are open to interpretation and we tend to interpret through our perceptions which are a result of our personal life experiences. That is of course why two different people with different perspectives can read the same post and get a different "read" on it.
Vicious and cruel would be to say that these people who made these choices aren't capable of doing anything better. There are people who say crap like this and hardly anyone engages them. That really says something. It's an opinion. It's also in the past. If you're still getting upset about the mistakes you've made, then you haven't really moved passed them and learned from them. It wouldn't be viewed as a "put down" if you agreed on the view and had grown from the mistakes you made.
There are two sides to every lecture or view that is presented here. Person A makes a mistake. Person B posts a comment about how a behavior is wrong for reasons X, Y and Z. Person A reads Person B's comment on the internet. Person A hasn't accepted reality that this was a mistake and learned from it, so Person A feels personally attacked by Person B's comment. Person A tells Person B that they are cruel and mean for stating their opinion, no matter how logical it may be because they feel this way about themselves. Person A finds others who are in agreement with Person A and they begin to attack Person B for having and sharing this opinion they now feel is an attack on them as a group. Person A and group end with high-fiving about how Person B was put in their place, and how others who made this same mistake are so totally awesome and can do whatever they want, and this proves it. Person C is browsing the internet, thinking about making the mistake that Person A and group made. Person C comes across this conversation, skims over it until they see the comraderie between Person A and group, and that Person B, who didn't make this mistake, and disagrees with the behavior is attacked. Person C sees that people who make this mistake "rock". Person C decides to make said mistake, because it is perfectly acceptable and actually not a mistake at all. Person C subconsciously wants to be a part of Person A's group.
In this scenario (often presented here) people care more about Person A's feelings. Hardly anyone cares about Person B's feelings. Nobody cares about Person C's feeling, except for Person B. Why is Person A so deserving of compassion and care over Person B or C?
If we remove Person B, and them freely stating their opinion, we are still left with Person A and group, publicly expressing about how awesome they are. Person C still reads this and feels like the behavior in question is nothing but acceptable and tolerated, so why shouldn't they engage in it? | |
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| Time for a showdown with the negative ones...
Posted: 7/21/2009 1:40:16 PM | Futureshock, you can't hate on anyone for loving me!
Everyone loves me - even the people who hate my guts.
In fact, I think they hate me so much because they know deep down that I'm charming, witty, and sexy, and would have no problem eating my poptarts with me. It TEARS THEM UP inside.
It's sad really.
Everyone should just embrace that 8sf8 = awesome. | |
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