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| | Favorite Family Guy LinesPage 5 of 12 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12) | wow... thought this was dead.
- Glenn Quagmire - "ah Giggitty giggggg...oooops I just pooped a little.."
Ding Dong!
Quagmire: "Hey is Maggie home?"
Maggie: "Yeah...?"
Quagmire: "How old are you?"
Maggie: "16--"
Quagmire: "18? Alright Giggidy giggidy"
Maggie: "Moooooom!"
Quagmire: "Hey, I like where this is going...heh ohhh right." | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/18/2006 12:01:31 PM |  Lois: Peter....GET ON!
Stewie to Brian: I was wondering if you would mind terribly...shaving my "coin purse" | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/24/2006 8:30:00 AM | Stewie and Brian are lost and Stewie tries to call home..
Stewie: [Picking up the phone] Hello, operator. Hello... Oh god, that's right you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Uhhh, I should know this. Oh yes,
[dialing number]
Stewie Griffin: 867-5309, yes that's it. Wait that's not it, damn you Tommy Two-Tone. Huh, only one thing to do 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112 Lois? DAMN. 111-1113... | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/24/2006 11:40:34 AM | When quagmire is on the bachelorette show
Oh yeah roofie colada giddie giddie goo | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/24/2006 12:27:29 PM | From, I think, "The Story on Page One" episode, when Lois wants Meg to go her old alma mater, Brown University(?)... Anyway, the Griffin family is walking around the campus and Lois says, "Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years. Everything seems so different."
Stewie: "Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a few bells. "
Driving ??? to the hospital to have her baby - she's already in labour...
Lois: Peter,why are we stopped?
Peter: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers...
Lois: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby!
Peter: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh,I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz,uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.
Joe falls into the water...
Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim!
Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic!
Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!
Lois: I'm gonna go get some oranges Stewie. Here, hold the rest of these bags for mommy."
Stewie: Oh, what brilliant parenting Lois. Leave a tiny infant with a plastic bag. You know I might asphyxiate myself just to teach you a lesson. Here I go. Just like that boy from INXS..(Stewie tries to put bag over top of his head.)
Stewie: I'm going to do it! (Tries to put bag over left side of his head then climbs into it and tries pulling it over his head.)
Stewie: BLAST! Good Lord Lois, either I was a c-section, or you're Wonder Woman! | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/16/2006 12:28:20 AM | | peter: you know what grinds my gear...lindsay lohan...what do you want?(and so on and so forth) | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/16/2006 12:47:04 AM | The informative sessions about the various ethnicities. You know, the 'Not like those dirty mexicans' and then *BLING* 'Actually, mexicans are on average as clean as the rest of us, etc etc etc'
Finally Peter with: 'Yeah, unlike those freeloading Canadians........... What?'
And then..
'Actually Quagmire... Chris Hanson is a guy.'
'What... No!... but... I've got all these magazines!.... Oh god!' | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/16/2006 9:37:20 AM | Stewie: Oh yes, you have a lot to think about: public drunkenness, grand theft auto...
Brian: You forgot the part where I made you smash your head into the windshield.
Stewie: I don't remember-
Brian: (Slams on brakes, causing Stewie to fly forward into winshield)
Stewie: Yes, well, I suppose I walked right into that one. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/16/2006 12:43:31 PM | girl : "I have a question for you, what do you do for a living?"
Quagmire : " I have a question for you too, why are you still here?"
best show : the man in white... stewie's first birthday
"wha, what is this?'
"It's A Boy!"
zzzzddttt | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/16/2006 7:44:09 PM | Peter: No, Silly Rabbit Trix are for kids. Damn long ears, trying to steal Easter from Jesus.
Show me potato salad!
Peter: Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a fat white guy who is threatened by change. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/16/2006 8:09:54 PM | many eposides..
But during jeopardy :
"diarrhea.. oh right *chuckling* I mean What Is Diarrhea"
Then the down south episode with the family in hiding...
Stewie - " I feel so deliciously white trash.. Mommy! I want a mullet!"
Best Stewie song came shortly after...
meet her on the CB,
said her name was mimi,
sounded like an angel come to earth
When i went to meet her,
man you should have seen her,
Twice as tall as me three times the girth...
Oh my fat baby loves to eat..
big ole budda belly and her breats swing past her feet
oooohhhh My fat baby loves to eat
My big ole fat ass baby loves to eat...
i ripped the MP3 for this if anyone wants.. just mail me.. lmao
amazingly it's appearing on Kazaa ha ha
tee hee™ | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/17/2006 1:27:08 PM | That jokes lamer than FDRs legs .....What , Too soon ?.....................careful with that joke it's an antique...........................................................The scene with Brian at the airport bar , drunk , he throws up ,i just have a stomach virus , falls over , ear infection ,...........................................................................................Most of the thin white line episode , Hi everybody , This is Candy , she'll be staying with us for a couple a days . Candy , would you like a moist washcloth too wipe the dried blood from under your nose ?  | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/18/2006 2:42:51 PM | Stewie: "Go Away Fat Man"
And the part where Stewie got drunk and crashed the car... " and I was like.. WHOAAAAAAA" | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/19/2006 12:02:45 PM | Peter to the bouncer at the '' Beautiful Peoples '' club
Well .... if he cant come in ...... then just I'LL come in
Peter scratching his chin
What the hell are these doing up here ?
Isnt the first time I got in trouble for eating too loud ( then the flashback to him eating potato chips while the nazis are doing their search )
My gut aches after that show | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/20/2006 6:42:01 AM | Brian to Peter during Stewie's 1st birthday show...
"if you're going to pull a party out of your ass you might wanna stand up"
peter "I read that in a book somewhere"
Brian "are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't; Nothing?"
peter "oh yeah" | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 8/7/2006 8:14:02 PM | LOIS: Peter! You're bribing your daughter with a car?
PETER: Ah, c'mon, Lois, isn't "bribe" just another word for "love"?
STEWIE: I have an army to raise and I must get to Managua at once! I require a window seat and an in-flight Happy Meal. But no pickles! Oh, God help you if I find pickles!
LOIS: Peter, what did you promise me?
PETER: That I wouldn't drink at the party.
LOIS: And what did you do?
PETER: Drank at the pa... Whoa! I almost walked into that one.
STEWIE: Oh, this is so good it just has to be fattening!
PETER: Brian, there's a message in my Alpha Bits. It says "OOOOOO"!
BRIAN: Peter, those are Cheerios.
STEWIE: I was under the impression the name of the show was Kids Say the Darndest Things, not Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up.
PETER: Hey, anybody got a quarter?
BILL GATES: What's a quarter?
PETER: Your aunt Marguerite is probably laughing at me while she's burning in hell, may she rest in peace.
BRIAN: Hey, Peter, it's seven o'clock and you've still got your pants on. What's the occassion?
PETER: Can't we tell them that your mother died?
LOIS: Peter, I'm not gonna lie about something like that.
PETER: All right, all right, I'll kill your mother.
STEWIE: Easy! Massage the scalp. You're washing a baby's hair, not scrubbing vomit off your Christmas dress, you holiday drunk.
PETER: Lois, um, go get the medical dictionary and look up "fork" and "lung."
LOIS: Why?
PETER: Time is a factor, Lois.
LOIS: You gave up a boat for free tickets to a crappy comedy club!
PETER: Come one, Lois, you're acting like this is the first time I ever did something stupid.
STEWIE: You know, Mother, life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're going to get. Your life, however, is more like a box of... active grenades!
PETER: Here's to our wives! They may not be as hot as the women you see on TV, or as entertaining, but, um... y'know, I don't know where I'm going with this, but thanks anyway.
STEWIE: What the hell is this?
LOIS: Sweetie, that's tuna salad.
STEWIE: Oh, is that what it is? Really? Because I could have sworn it was mayonnaise and cat food.
MEG: Oh, my God. I'm missing the news!
PETER: We all miss the News, Meg, but Huey Lewis needs time to create.
LOIS: What's going on down here?
STEWIE: We're playing house.
LOIS: But that boy is all tied up.
STEWIE (pause): Roman Polanski's house.
LOIS: Have you been drinking?
PETER: Why, yes, I have. Thank you.
LOIS: Come on, Stewie, you know you can't leave the table until you finish your vegetables.
STEWIE: Well, then I shall sit here until one of us expires, and you've got a good forty years on me, Woman.
LOIS: Sweetie, it's broccoli, it's good for you. Now open up for the airplane...
STEWIE: Never! Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn the Wright brothers!
LOIS: Now, kids, your father's just trying to spend time with his family. Or kill us. I'm not sure which.
CHRIS: Hey birthday dude, you want some ice cream?
STEWIE: Yes, but no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
STEWIE: You're one of them, aren't you? What are they paying you? I'll double it. I'll give you whatever you want! Money! Women! Men?
STEWIE: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total ****.
PETER: You gonna eat that stapler?
CALLAHAN: Well, you... you can't eat a stapler.
PETER: Wanna split it?
STEWIE (reading the Bible): My, my, what a thumping good read. Lions eating Christians, people nailing each other to two by fours. I'll say, you won't find that in Winnie the Pooh.
PETER: Chris, this is a big day for you, the day you become the man of the house... because when we get home your mother is going to kill me.
LOIS: You're drunk again.
PETER: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 4/27/2007 3:04:50 PM | How about this one from the movie
35 year old stewie to baby Stewie
"I probably shouldn't say anything but enjoy your left testicle while you have it"
this show is just too funny | |
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Rhett1
| | Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 121 | |
| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/12/2007 11:40:24 PM | Stewie: "Damn you, Tommy Tutone!!!!"
This isn't a line, but a scene...Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe were the A-team. They were on a mission and all jumped into the van, but Joe sat behind the van waiting for the wheelchair lift to slowly come out and down. Then he got onto it and it slowly rose up and pulled him into the van. Holy crap, I almost peed myself! | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/13/2007 1:56:47 PM | Lois has taken up martial arts and developed a reputation for fighting for Peter, and Peter milks it by picking fights:
Peter: Excuse me sir, is your refridgerator running? Because if it is I bet it's doing it a lot like you: very homosexually! | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/13/2007 2:09:41 PM | When Brian and Stewie Go To Tom Tuckers to talk about how chris had been handed the vodka by Jake Tucker and before they go in to the house brian reminds stewie not to say anything about jakes upside down head
Brian : This Could Really Be Something That Could Turn A Kids Life Upside Down Face
That Line And Stewies Face After that absolutley superb | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 5/13/2007 7:28:48 PM | Another one that just came to me there, when Peter and lois are at kiss stock and peter finds out lois never actually like kiss and that she was only saying she did for his sake
Peter : I should of knew something was wrong when you said you would be Peter Criss, Peter Criss Doesnt even want to be peter criss | |
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