| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 10/18/2007 11:56:25 PM | | HELP a little girl has fallen down a well and nobody has long enough arms to reach her apart from that man over there who's busy tickling a midget in a tree | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 10/28/2007 8:02:59 PM | | Peter: So what do ya ant me to do...whack a guy...off a guy...whack off a guy, cause ya know I'm married.... | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/2/2007 12:30:11 AM | | Peter: Just don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want the house, you have to clean it. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/12/2007 11:33:37 PM | | Peter: Kids, your mother and I have decided that we are gonna help you two get out in to dating world. ... Meg ,when I get through with you, you're gonna be beating guys off with both hands! | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:28:17 PM | [during a romantic dinner]
Lois: [seductively] You know, I'm not wearing any panties.
Peter: Don't worry. We can always throw that chair out. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/14/2007 1:08:14 PM | 1. The last person to throw up gets a piece of pie
2. Darth Vader - Traffic warden getting a loan - I wanna open a sports bar | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/14/2007 6:35:16 PM | My apologies for not reading all 7 pages to make sure this wasn't already posted, but Brian is my favorite character from the show, for the same reasons Bender is my favorite Futurama character.. they're both drunks with quick wit, sarcasm, love having a good time and know more than most people give em credit for..
anyway, back to the topic, one of my favorite Brian lines is from Season 5 I believe, it's the episode where Brian takes Meg to the school dance and he gets loaded and says:
Brian: "you know Connie, I think I have a theory about why you're such a b*tch."
Connie: "Excuse me?"
Meg: "Brian Let's just go."
Brian: "no, no, no no no, hang on Meg, hang on. You see Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started giving h*ndj*bs when you were twelve and now you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a wh*re. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age 19 you're going to be a worn out, chalky skinned burlap sack that even your stepdad won't want. how's that? am i in the ballpark?"
i love that bit.. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/14/2007 9:52:54 PM | Osama Bin Laden "Look who is laughing the guy who could not do a suicide bombing because he has a note from the doctor. It 's a suicide bombing."
Peter "Attention restaurant customers. Testicals that is all."
Stewie "You know mother life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you are going to get, your life however is like a box of active grenades."
Quagmire "Hello 911 ? Yeah its Quagmire.... it's stuck in a window this time"
Lois: So doctor, is Peter healthy?
Doctor: My goodness, you'll be dead within a month.
Peter: What?
Doctor (revealing comic he was reading): Oh, Hagar the Horrible, if you keep up that lifestyle of pillaging and eating giant turkey legs, you'll be dead within a month. Now, onto you.
Peter: So, what do you think? Pretty healthy, eh?
Doctor: Well, Mr. Griffin, let's take a look at your physical results. Argh! There's a spider in here. Now, here we go. Mr Griffin, you're going to expire in a month.
Peter/Lois: Argh!
Doctor: This is your driver's licence, isn't it? Now, unfortunately, I'm afraid you're going to die...
Peter: Argh!
Doctor: ...when you watch these Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts.
Lois: Will you just tell us how Peter's health is?!
Doctor: Ah, Mr. Griffin, I'm not quite sure how to say this. Kim Bassinger? Bass singer? Bassinger? But now, onto the cancer.
Lois: Oh my goodness!
Doctor: You are a Cancer, right? You were born in July? Now onto these test results. My, they're much worse than I thought.
Peter/Lois: Oh!
Doctor: My son got a D minus on his history test. Now Mr Griffin, that liver's got to come out.
Lois: What?!
Doctor: It's been in the microwave for three minutes, it'll get dry. Now-
Lois: Please, please, we can't take any more schtick.. Please just tell us, is Peter healthy?
Doctor: Oh, yeah, he's fine, he's just really fat. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/17/2007 5:02:17 AM | | giggagity giggagity will go down in the anals of history of sleazedom.. wait a minute I meant annals hhhahahaha... damn remember the episode where Lois goes over to Quagmires place and he has his EAZY button that turns his place into man whoredom? Fn hilarious... | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/17/2007 5:05:06 AM | Quagmire "Hello 911 ? Yeah its Quagmire.... it's stuck in a window this time"
Im still laughing at that one
That doctor good news bad news was brilliant... | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/19/2007 4:29:16 PM | The episode where Patrick (Lois's psycho fat guy killing brother) comes home to the house full of fat guys.
Stewie: Oh hell, I bet you guys can't even find your penises. Heeyy, find your penis for a dollar. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:29:34 PM | My favorite episode from Family Guy(I recorded all the episodes!)is when Peter and his family meet the family of s, who invite them over for dinner after Peter saved the guy's life out in the ocean ("I thought his bathing suit washed off!" Peter exclaims.). After the dinner, Chris is sitting in the car muttering "Boobies!" over and over again! Lois warns him to stop, but he won't. Finally, Peter and Lois put on their thick protective glasses and Lois flashes him with a deneuralizer from the Men In Black movies, making him think they just came back from the zoo.
Priceless! hahahahahahaha! | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:38:44 PM | How about the one where Peter Griffin poses as a high-school student undercover in order to expose the toad-licking phase going around school?(Don't ask me how the toad-licking thing started.)
The musical that Peter sings in front of the student body is priceless.
"Buddy, give it up...give up the toad now...ooh, ooh, ooh..."
And how Peter got to have the principal agree with his undercover task.
PETER: And that's my plan! What do you think?
PRINCIPAL: All you did was sit down and say, 'That's my plan.'
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 1/11/2008 4:28:09 PM | I love the one about the hams!
Guy: You can't park your van on the diving board.
Lois: That's not our van; that's my son.
Guy: Oh, I'm sorry. Tom! It's just a fat kid! | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/15/2008 12:48:44 AM | | Peter: By the way Lois, I got a piercing over there. I'm not going to tell you where but I will give you a hint--it wasn't on my nose or my ear and it was one of my balls. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/16/2008 12:40:00 AM | Peter & Lois decide it's high time Meg and Chris start dating...
Lois to Chris "Don't worry Chris, I'm gonna get you a girl that smokes...Cuz if she smokes...she pokes"
Peter to Meg "By the time I'm done with you Meg you'll be beating off guys with both hands!"
...And the Parents of the Year Award goes to... hehehehehe | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:11:01 AM | From the episode where Quagmire loses his license to fly...
After shaggin' the ticket taker lady...
Quagmire: We understand you have a lot of choices when it comes to having sex and I'd just like to thank you personally for choosing Air Quagmire
(pause)
Oh and remember when I told you I put that condom on.....
I lied...Ain't I a stinker??
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:42:05 AM | | when brian is meeting gillians friends in the diner, all those dumb bimbos and the go to the little girls room, to try out new gloss,one of them says 'hair rhymes with gloss!'. genius! and i know its not quite a quote, but i love the scene where gill wants to go out but brian doesnt, so he distracts her by shining the torch on the wall - what is that? there it is again! classic! | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:15:17 AM | | I am the absolute ruler of the Land of Make-Believe!... What the...? What kind of frickin' king lives next to the railroad? What is this, Mexico? | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/25/2008 3:33:19 AM | from the episode "road to rhode island": brian- well uh shouldent we say something?
stewie- and yay god said unto abraham you shall kill your first born, and abraham replied "what? I cant hear you, you have to speak into the mike." and then god said "hows this?" and abraham said unto him "thats better but check the line your getting a little too much feed back down here." and then god said " check check mike test one two one two..............." | |
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