| | Favorite Family Guy LinesPage 8 of 12 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12) | Stewie:
"Sooooo... you got money to buy a fake mustache huh ?" | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:03:20 PM | Stew Griffin: [after having sex with Fran] Um... that's never happened before.
Fran: Which part? The eight seconds of sex or the 45 minutes of crying?
Stew Griffin: Uh, I guess both.
Brian Griffin: Wow, look at me! Hanging out drinking with Ernest Hemingway, Van Gogh and Kurt Cobain. Still, it feels like we all got here a little earlier than we should have.
Ernest Hemingway: Yeah, well, I finally collapsed under the weight of my own genius and shot myself.
Vincent Van Gogh: I could not reconcile my passion with the way people around me were living so I shot myself.
Kurt Cobain: I hated the thought of my music become part of some bland corporate mechanism so I shot myself.
Brian Griffin: Yeah I, uh... I got into the garbage and ate some chocolate.
Tricia Takanawa: Here comes Mayor Adam West himself. Mr. West, do you have any words for our viewers?
Mayor Adam West: Yes: box, toaster, aluminum, maple syrup- no I take that one back. I'm gonna hold on to that one.
Stewie: Umm, feel free to say no to this but... would you mind shaving my coin purse? | |
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ohio07
| | Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 178 | |
| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/8/2009 5:58:53 PM | Stewie: "I would have to say Fvck!"
Lipton: "And what is your favorite curse word?"
Mr. Pewterschmidt: "He's violating Sea Breeze!"
Peter: "No he's not, he's just awkwardly positioning himself and... NOW he's violating her!"
After catching Brian with a Dog Magazine
Peter/Lois: "OMG Brian!
Peter: "So, do we rub his nose in it?"
Brian: "So Lois it's been six months, think we should put the beds together?
Lois: "Oh Brian, not tonight."
Brian: "Fine I'll be in the basement."
Lois: "Doing what?"
Brian: "What do ya THINK!"
Stewie: "Ya know, Somebody is gonna have to explain this to me."
Peter:"Meg, you have a very vital role, your what's known as a "practice girl."
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/9/2009 2:44:01 PM | One time Peter had to come up with a fake name quickly, so he looked around the room to get some ideas
Peter: Umm... my name is...(he sees a pea)
Peter: Pea... (then he sees a woman crying)
Peter: ... tear... (then he sees a griffin flying over)
Peter: ... Griffin. Peter Griffin
Peter (after he found out he had a black ancestor): I got no idea how to be black you know, except for not smiling when I get my picture taken. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/9/2009 10:49:05 PM | Peter, casually interviewing Meg's new boyfriend, Michael:
Tell me, have you ever sat on your arm until it fell asleep, then played with yourself and pretended it was somebody else?
Michael (looking around nervously): Honestly...yes.
Peter: Well, not any more, because you are dating my daughter!
Family Guy is the funniest show in the history of television-and anybody that thinks or says different, in Peter's words, "...is a Douche." | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/10/2009 12:36:25 PM | | Are you ready to Laugh? Seth MacFarlane's Harvard Class Day Speech STEWIE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLt73xSJlAM | |
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ohio07
| | Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 182 | |
| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/10/2009 2:07:08 PM | | Peter: "What do ya want me to do, whack a guy, off a guy... Whack-off a guy??? "We we is how you say yes, what is no, doo-doo? Yeah, I'll be right back after I take a wicked "yes." | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/10/2009 8:00:08 PM | | Peter: Are we sure it's James Woods in the box cause if it's me again I'm gonna be really pissed off | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/10/2009 9:09:57 PM | follow-up to the one about stewie and the prostitute:
There were 7 prostitutes in Cleveland's living room.
Cleveland: Peter, you and 5 of those prostitutes leave right now."
Another one I loved:
Peter speaking to Joe's wife: "This is big fat Paulie and this is Paulie's big fat ass." | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/10/2009 10:05:41 PM | You people should be as lucky as we Rhode Islanders, since we actually live in "Quahog" 
It gives a whole new perspective to that show w/ a lot of the jokes/gags.... Giggidy Giggidy JACKPOT!!!!
www.quahog.org has a lot of local info and trivia. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/11/2009 8:20:18 AM | i think the greased up deaf guy was one of the funniest things i've seen on television, offensive. but hilarious.
or the assablanca line:
"if i pull this thing out and you're not on it, you'll regret it, maybe not today maybe not tomorrow..." | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/11/2009 9:21:50 AM | General Tagge: Any attack made by the Rebels against this station would be a useless gesture, no matter what technical data they've obtained. This station is now the ultimate power in the universe.
Stewie (Darth Vader): That is fantastic. Terrific work. So no weaknesses at all?
General Tagge: N... no.
Stewie (Darth Vader): You, uh, you hesitated there. Is there something I should know?
General Tagge: No, it's virtually indestructible, like 99.99%.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Uh, okay, wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't ask what's the 0.01?
General Tagge: Well, I mean, there's this little hole. It was kind of an aesthetic choice by the architect. And if you shoot a laser into this hole, the station blows up.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! That sounds like a pretty big design flaw, then.
General Tagge: No, no, the hole's only two meters across.
Mayor Adam West (Grand Moff Tarkin): Well, that's no bigger than a womp rat.
General Tagge: Exactly. And even to get within range of it, you have to skim along this whole trench. It's not a big deal.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Can't we board it up or, you know, put some plywood over it or something?
General Tagge: Well, that would look terrible. I mean, we gotta think about resale.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Resale? What are you talking about? This property is right above Sunset. The value is only going to go up.
General Tagge: Lord Vader, your inside references to the Los Angeles real estate market haven't given you the clairvoyance to turn a profit on that condo in Glendale. Nor has it...
Stewie (Darth Vader): [Vader begins to choke him] I find your lack of faith disturbing. That property is in a prime location! Twenty minutes to the beach, twenty minutes to downtown!
General Tagge: [choking] There's nothing to do downtown!
Mayor Adam West (Grand Moff Tarkin): Enough of this! Vader, release him!
Stewie (Darth Vader): As you wish.
[releases Tagge]
Stewie (Darth Vader): All right, so were' going to plug up that hole?
Imperial Officer: Yeah, we can get it done tomorrow if price is no object.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Ehhhh...
Imperial Officer: We'll get estimates.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Get estimates, yeah, yeah. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/11/2009 5:42:02 PM | Peter Griffin: And Meg when I get through with you, you're gonna be beating guys off with both hands!
Meg Griffin: This is gonna be so fun!
-S | |
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ohio07
| | Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 189 | |
| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/11/2009 8:45:35 PM | Brian: Oh God, just say something!
Stewie: Well I never knew biscuit as a dog, but I did know her as a table. She was always firm, sturdy; all four legs the same length.... | |
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VVendy
| | Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 190 | |
| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/12/2009 12:04:28 AM | | Peter being a body warmer for that skinny actress by hiding her under his belly flap. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/12/2009 7:15:04 AM | Love the episode where Meg works at the pan cake cafe in order to get her Prada bag.
Stewie in the foster home:
"God you people understand every language known to man click click bloody pan cakes"
Foster parents:
"Poor little guy pan cakes must be street for crack".
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/12/2009 11:21:16 PM | SOME RANDOM FAVES
peter:"Its called the poop deck... so that's where I pooped."
meg:"I'm going to pretend you're the New York Mets."
Stewie: "Uh, there's a half-dead-fat-man eating a dead-fat-man...am I the only one who realized? Oh, okay..."
THIS ONE IS TO MUCH I LAUGH EVERY TIME
Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
AHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAH
Lois: I'm gonna go get some oranges Stewie. Here, hold the rest of these bags for mommy."
Stewie: Oh, what brilliant parenting Lois. Leave a tiny infant with a plastic bag. You know I might asphyxiate myself just to teach you a lesson. Here I go. Just like that boy from INXS..(Stewie tries to put bag over top of his head.)
Stewie: I'm going to do it! (Tries to put bag over left side of his head then climbs into it and tries pulling it over his head.)
Stewie: BLAST! Good Lord Lois, either I was a c-section, or you're Wonder Woman!
THIS ONE IS SO BAD KINDA DISTURBING AS WELL
Stewie Griffin: And then I'm gonna gag her with her own brassiere!
Brian Griffin: Oh, ho-ho!
Stewie Griffin: What?
Brian Griffin: No, no, nothing, nothing. That's-thats all part of your diabolical plan to... humiliate her!
Stewie Griffin: Yes, yes, she'll be humiliated!
Brian Griffin: Maybe you'll hand-cuff her; She'll hate that.
Stewie Griffin: Then I shall do that as well!
Brian Griffin: And call her a ****.
Stewie Griffin: Until I'm hoarse with rage!
Brian Griffin: Maybe smack her ass with a riding crop?
Stewie Griffin: Yes, and then ... what?
Brian Griffin: No, I mean, that-that would, like ... that, that would show her!
Stewie Griffin: Are you... You're getting some kind of sick, sexual thrill off this, aren't you
AND THERE IS SO MANY MORE BUT THIS ALREADY LONG SO YEAH  | |
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ohio07
| | Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 193 | |
| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/13/2009 8:25:52 AM | Mr. Pewterschmidt: Peter what are you doing here?
Peter: Aw hi Mr. Pewterschmidt I just thought you could use a little extra semen on your poop deck. (Mr. P slaps Peter) | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:17:06 AM | | Best episodes ever would have to be where Brian loses a bet with Stewie and he wants his money. And the one where Brian and Stewie enlist in the Army. lol | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/14/2009 12:02:03 AM | | My ULTIMATE family Guy fav moment is when Peter was talking about Micheal J. Fox being Zorro and 2 guys, I believe they were mexican (forgive me I haven't seen this moment in a very long time) stood where the mark was made. One says to the other "Look he left his insignia" and it was a scribbled attempt at a Z. | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/14/2009 11:45:16 AM | petre: 'Ireland has more drunks per capita than people'
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stewie: 'what's a bonner?'
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ohio07
| | Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 198 | |
| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/16/2009 4:41:11 AM | | Herbert: "Um I was just wondering where the paper boy was. I'm sure hoping he could come by and bring me some good news... Get your fat ass back here... You little puggly SOB your pissing me off, Call me!" Creepy, creepy, creepy! And that episode where Herbert dreams they are married made me BARF! I can't listen or watch that. Yuck! | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/16/2009 7:35:49 AM | | bob dole's a supporter of the ciggarette industry, bob dole likes your style, bob dole, bob dole, bob.....dole, bob..... | |
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| Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/18/2009 6:32:15 AM | "Stewie:(Playing a banjo) "Met her on my CB, said her name was Mimi, sounded like an angel come to earth. When I went to meet her, man you shoulda seen, twice as tall as me three times the girth. My fat baby loves to eat. A big ole buddha belly and her breasts swing past her feet."
Stewie: Mother! I got blisters on me fingers!! | |
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