| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:33:23 AM | OP - People are deluded thinking "the one" or "mr/mrs right" exists in a short period of time. I've lost count of how many times I've heard from people "I've found the one for me finally" only for them to break up eventually, whether it be weeks, months or years later.
I would rather call someone "the one" or a "soul mate" after something like 20 to 30 years of commitment not one measly week or month! Just adopt a level headed approach with no expectations especially on websites such as this one.
... And what makes women think men want supermodels? Jeez... talk about distorted views, I just what a woman with a flat belly so I can flick grapes into her mouth from her navel. | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 7/22/2009 2:02:08 PM | Hi people. 1st post here.
I personally don't think there's such a thing as 'the one' . I think there's many on here that would suit each other. I think the big problem is photos. Some people are very photogenic and some completely opposite. You open someones profile and see the picture, think yuk, and close the profile. What if they're the perfect one for you but only had that picture at hand when creating their profile. Sad but that's what happens. | |
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HenXX
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Joined: 6/16/2009
Msg: 53 | |
| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 7/22/2009 2:37:41 PM | ^^^^^^^
I met my partner on here when I did not have a pic on display,maybe it helped! We had chatted for a while,and dont believe my picture had anything to do with the attraction we had for each other.If I remember rightly,I sent a picture close onto our meeting date for fear that he would find me "not his type".
I do totally understand what you say by not going by a photo,but sadly people do,and its wrong. | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 7/29/2009 2:27:47 PM | I do totally understand what you say by not going by a photo,but sadly people do,and its wrong
It's not wrong at all, primarily because there is no "right" or "wrong".
it's just one method of many that people can use.
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:19:20 PM |
I met my partner on here when I did not have a pic on display,maybe it helped! We had chatted for a while,and dont believe my picture had anything to do with the attraction we had for each other.If I remember rightly,I sent a picture close onto our meeting date for fear that he would find me "not his type".
I do totally understand what you say by not going by a photo,but sadly people do,and its wrong .
Yes but that's because your lovely and he still doesn't deserve you! LOL
I don't think you can compare the bloke game of "I'd sha g her" to dating on here, as some have mentioned it's a different scenario with different rules.
Oh and the chap who has those "Gingers" on his list, I have a feeling you are not on theirs.
J
x
"Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them"
Bill Maher | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 7/30/2009 10:54:11 AM | i see dozens and dozens of women every day i fancy..like most guys i only really care about looks - i did meet a woman through the internet whom was as close to my perfect match as i was ever likely to get - she was a good solid person, sensual, a good listener and patient - i loved her to bits and still do but we couldn't make it work for one reason or another... i miss you hunny XXXX | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:41:23 PM |
Reality - you're probably going to go through many hundreds of profiles before you come across "the one" - the one that meets what you're looking for and of course, vice versa. The more conditions you impose on who you're looking for, the more ellusive that person will be.
I do not believe that anyone by looking at someones photo or reading few lines can actually decide whether that someone is their realistic match or not.
But I think with matches it is the same story in the real life, very rarely you would see a couple for which you would think are an ideal match.
I am sometimes called being 'too picky' but from my side I can see these people being unrealistic, I would sometimes even in RL turn down a gorgeous guy because I think no way he is my match and wonder what the hell they have seen in me as well as sometimes thinking the opposite, how some people dare to contact me.......... | |
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JTFN
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Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 59 | |
| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:19:38 PM |
I do not believe that anyone by looking at someones photo or reading few lines can actually decide whether that someone is their realistic match or not.
I agree and if you see some attraction or connection its only the very beginning of finding out whats what
As other posters have said Internet Dating is just another avenue to explore.. | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:21:34 AM | This site does work to a point and I was with someone for over 3 years from here and you really need to get on msn and the phone for it to have any chance of working. Im not after a super model, but im not after someone out of sheer desperation either. Its all first looks and profiles, and mines rubbish anyway, and im no oil painting so i'll probably get someone when im out  | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:30:21 AM | i think you just as likely to find a parnter here as you can out in a bar or out in the gym, wherever.
the bonus of online is that (usualy) you can tell if people are interested in the same thing as you etc without all the bumping around when meeting someone in a bar / supermarket etc, but i suppose the opposite would be the thrill of talking to someone face to face for the first time and getting to know them. its a trade off really.
on here, esp the forums, you can get peoples views on situations and share a wealth of experience too, theirs alot to be said here thats for sure, and its sometimes good to get someone elses perspective.
my advice is go with both, online and out in the world. try different things, different sports/clubs to meet people, i find bars a little ropey for getting to know people, and clubs... no point, if your out for a snog and a sh*g then job done, you cant hear anyone anyway. so how do you know that gorgeous women your kissing has the intelect and personality of a battered haddock?
Oh well, i've gone and done it now. heheh | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:38:56 AM | Realistically nil as a man, unless extremely attractive (only women know what that is!) or wealthy (in which case you wouldn't be here).
It would be better if men and women attracted the same amount of interest, but it's far from the case! | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:41:19 AM | | Thats a really good point, azure. At least your not spending money on drinks and you can get to know someone online, and not end up with someone from a pub as thick as last weeks cold custard just because they look pretty. Online dating has a clear advantage. | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 10/26/2009 11:15:24 AM | I think msg 62 would be very surprised by what women found attractive in a man and you can actually find it by not seeing him with your eyes so in that respect finding "the one" on line is in fact do 'able.
I can tell you what is unattractive tho constant criticism, negativity and dire Pessimism. An upbeat and happy outlook goes a long way in life even on line.  | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 10/26/2009 3:02:46 PM |  
for me,na i don`t think so,but you never know.
i just like window lickin nowdays,..you would think,with all the profiles,one of them would be the one.
but sayin that,alot of folks have met the one,on datin sites.I know of 4 people who have got hitched,throu internet. | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 10/26/2009 3:29:33 PM | Is this the expectations of the above poster or the above posters personal view on everyone's expectations
I think that it's very real. Patience is a virtue.
I do think some people should give others more of a chance though. But it does work here, look at the testimonials :)
So, in a nutshell Realistic expectations of finding the one = possible
remember, it's the same in person.. :) | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One on a dating site
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:24:49 PM | I dont really think that I am going to find the love of my life on a dating site but then again you never really know whats going to happen.
Im probably in the coffin dodger category now but Im not desperate! If I dont meet someone, hell its not the end of the world, and I am no better or worse of than I am now. Its worth a shot though and theres nowt wrong with trying something new is there? | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One ona dating site
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:32:24 PM | OP I have to say , you are spot on , its why I have changed my profile now to hopefully to filter out what I am not looking for
It could be a bit of a read , but if someone is genuinlly intrested they will have a better idea of who I am rather than just a picture.
I have a varied personality and interests, suppose never pigeon holed in a catergory and I am fed up of being assumed to be something I am not , as in I like shoes and get my hair done every other day.
thats just not me ;D
My expectations are none on this site only as I have been on before and had high ones I learnt the hardway that was 2 years ago and I was probably more sensitive than I am now .
I had 6 dates lined up 2 weeks ago not one followed it through and that is the reality of this site hehe ..
just to add you can find your soul mate , its just not usually in the terms that people expect it too be as in romance and swooning and so on , I do also believe you have more than 1 , I met a guy 3 years ago that completely took my breath away he also hadnt seen a picture of me when he replied back and I only spoke to him because I was feeling my feet and didnt think he was my type but he lived 250 miles away ..oh dear the confessions ..but when I seen other photos after Ihad got to know his personality ...wit woo ;)...why Didnt it work out ..circumstances , thats all the only reason shame ;p | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One ona dating site
Posted: 10/29/2009 9:48:53 AM | I have no idea what is 'realistic'. All I know is 20 odd messages and no dates. It has been a while (just out of a relationship) but I think I will just start approaching women whenever the mood takes me. Be that in the supermarket, shopping in town, at gigs, or out clubbing :)
I reckon the chances of sparking in real life are greater than on this site. Should I meet someone from here it is likely that will come with some preconception and the person may or may not live up to that! | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One ona dating site
Posted: 10/29/2009 9:54:47 AM | | I can walk down the high street and not look at a single woman whom I find attractive. But then, i'm very selective about who I fancy and its not always about their looks. However, I was in hospital a couple of weeks ago and as I was in bed I heard a womans voice and thought, 'she sounds nice' she came around the corner and my god! she was stunning....Not too sure what my point is but hey? | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One ona dating site
Posted: 10/29/2009 10:06:01 AM | I'm not sure that the whole concept of "the one" is realistic to start off with. More likely there are many people in the world who could possibly become the love of your life - but I think it's kind of unrealistic to expect to effectively start out with a fully-formed relationship from the off.
My expectations for this site are balanced between the realisation that getting any reply at all to messages is extremely remote and that maybe I could just meet someone pretty cool.
Right now though as I'm laid up with the flu it's not like I've got a whole lot else to do | |
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| Realistic expectations of finding the One ona dating site
Posted: 10/29/2009 10:50:07 AM | | Duke, I can assure you that I dont like players and would avoid the jack the lad type at all costs. Some women do like bad boys but I honestly dont. Maybe some women believe that they can change a player and keep him but Ive always just believed that you should never try to change anyone, you either accept them as they are or find someone that youre more compatible with. | |
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