| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 9:07:25 AM | having a car means you are emotionally stable to drive and can pay your bills on time, as well as take care of something.
having a job means you have your own life and are doing something constructive instead of staying logged on pof 20 hours everyday.
now if you meet a girl who actually asks you how much money you earn, i'd run.
if you meet a girl who 'doesn't do buses or trains.' run
if you meet a girl and you take her out and her idea of a good first date is shopping, run
and if any ladies are curious:
if you talk to 20 men and they all say that they work in "finance" chances are about 2 of them actually do. | |
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Savona
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Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 52 | |
| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 10:32:39 AM |
The guys that call women gold diggers are the one that don't have any gold to dig for. They are soooo worried someone is going to steal their pin number and bankroll them for the $50 in their checking account. These are the same guys ****ing about a cup of coffee and why he didn't get a bj for his pleasant company. Of course, if the guy is a douche, the reason the woman doesn't want to have a second meeting must be his lack of finances. It's not him being a jerk or she's just not into you for a myriad of reasons besides money, right?
Anyway...If you don't have a job, why are you dating? I suppose it's for the sex, but you still need condoms and they cost money. And where are you having this sex if you don't have a job. If you don't have a job, you ain't paying for a motel. Are you in your parents basement, your friends couch? In the car that's about to be repo'd? No wonder there's a recession...people more worried about getting off than getting employed!
Oh so on the money (excuse the pun) on this post.
I just love it when the men/women who don't have a pot to pizz in or a window to throw it out of are the ones that are the most worried that someone is going to take all thier dough.
I hate to generalize but really the men are the worst. Frankly I nearly laughed my head off at the $50,000 income being allot of money ... it's chump change. You guys kill me.
So if having a car and a job is too much to ask then us north american women are sure a greedy bunch.
Again another reason not to date from POF ... hahaha IMAGINE thinking a person should have an income. What was I thinking. Oh yea ... I am still stuck in the who buys a coffee ...
Savona | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:09:24 AM |
Must have car and job=gold digger?
In the generic sense? no
But a woman that specifies a man must a certain kind of car or high-end car and top paying job?
You can bet she'll have the pans and sifts setup in a moments notice! | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:21:26 AM | | Think there is a misconception on the definition of a "golddigger". To me a goldigger is a woman who expects gifts, money, royal treatment, etc. for being with someone....relationship based on benefits rather than mutual attraction. I think having a job or car/means of transportation is like a standard in today's society....wouldn't you say? | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:31:54 AM | Frankly this is the only thread where I encountered anyone use the term gold digger but if you want to blow things out of proportion then by all means go for it. On the issue of women wanting men to have jobs or cars, it's America and they conform to the rules. If we were in Siberia the women would say: Must own a heater and skilled with hunting harpoons. It's relative so if you don't have it you don't deserve a mate. I agree with this | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:37:36 AM | | OP, I bet that the guys who complain about this are precisely the guys without a job or a car, which is why they are so offended by it. I cannot imagine I would call a guy a gold digger if he expected me to have a job/income and means of getting around! To my mind it translates into "Adults only please", and I have no problem with that. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:40:09 AM |
Anyway...If you don't have a job, why are you dating? I suppose it's for the sex, but you still need condoms and they cost money. And where are you having this sex if you don't have a job. If you don't have a job, you ain't paying for a motel. Are you in your parents basement, your friends couch? In the car that's about to be repo'd? No wonder there's a recession...people more worried about getting off than getting employed!
I totally agree with this...if you're not working, dating isn't exactly at the top of the priority list. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:44:02 AM | | ^^^Exactly. Such people are not looking for an equal relationship, but for living off someone/being rescued. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:47:11 AM | Better tell those punkass kids who borrow money from mommy and daddy to stop dating, too. Truth be told, if you are broke, find things to do that don't cost money, and there are plenty of things, esp in the summer to do that don't cost an arm and a leg. Just have to be creative. People who always expect to be paid for, or to fo somewhere fancy becoming irritating after awhile, anyways. How about a nice romantic picnic instead of the awkward dinner? A concert in the park? Going to a fair? Enjoying each other's company for a change instead of using alcohol (which is what ends up costing the most unless both parties don't drink) to "relax" each other.  | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:47:40 AM | | A bum is someone that is homeless and really bad off,needs proffesional help....All I can say is as long as she is not a bum and is good hearted,mature,I'm attracted to her then I would date her............."Every sinner has a future,Every saint has a past" | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:54:24 AM | | Hazelrose, in my case anyway it's not about the money, but the fact that those who aren't working should be too distracted by unemployment to actually enjoy it, if they have any sense of purpose or responsibility. If I've been laid off, I'm not dating material while not working because my head's not in it. It's not fair to someone else honestly. | |
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Savona
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Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 64 | |
| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 12:05:39 PM |
I totally agree with this...if you're not working, dating isn't exactly at the top of the priority list.
Oh seriously womaningrogress ... don't you know that a job is an option on POF, and when it comes to dating why we are just all that and a bag of chips too to want a man with a J O B ... oh and just incase some don't know that that spells ... it is a job.
** Sponging off your present partner because you were/are/could be homeless and now looking for a new place to park your toothbrush does NOT count as income ... (NO NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS ONE ... WE ARE READING THOSE POSTS RIGHT NOW) **
This is the truth of what never ceases to amaze me on these forums.
We are ALL reading about homeless people moving in on the current one day date, and we are all reading about someone that won't leave no matter how bad they are treated ... 'cause someone else is footing the bill. Those that are just drama ... drinkers, users, accepting whats considered abuse 'cause they have no where else to go while they complain because they have no money, but enough to go out drinking, partying and the like. waaa waaa waaa
THOSE people ... the forums are littered with them. yea we all know who they are, yet for some reason perfectly normal seeming men and normal seeming women still are running about all over the threads screaming who is paying for a fuuking cup of coffee. Seriously is this some kinda joke ???
Is it me or does there seem to be hundreds of seemingly normal people posting on these forums, writing thousands of threads on who will pay for coffee, dinner or what ever !!!! Like anyone really gives a RATS ASS !!!
Here is my full stance on this ...
If you want to date a person that has an income then YOU should have an income
If you want to date a person that you can only reach by car then YOU should have a car
How simple is that. Expect equal to what you have to give. Not all people weight everything out in dollars, not everyone weights things out in stuff, not everyone's currency is the same to each others. But you yourself know if a person you meet has more to offer than you have to give back. This could be emotionally, time, money, stuff what ever. So either admit it or date someone more equal to you.
Anyway, no OP it is not unreasonable to expect a person to have a job or vehicle (IF vehicle is required to get off the side road, way down that county line ... hahaha ) Sheesh
Savona
Thank gawd its Friday !!!! Yeaaaa     | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 12:40:27 PM | I concur with Alex88. As long as the expectations of both parties are understood and agreed to, who cares who's doing what to whom? If you don't like it - move on.
What I hear the guys saying is not so much that a woman might be a gold digger, but that there is still the perception of a vestigial double standard, hence comments like this one:
<div class='quote'> I'm expected to be that old time hard working man but a girl gets to be this new aged "I'm 100% independent" Female version of Richard Simmons?
Translated: why do I feel all this pressure to perform and deliver when I don't see the same standard being applied on the other side?
EDIT: Damn quote function. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 12:56:12 PM | 8soldierfalcon8,
Real gold diggers don't really do the online thing.
I disagree. Now, I'll grant you that one "flavor" of gold-diggers, the high-class-ultra-expensive-buy-me-everything type, probably is not too prevalent on here at all, and I think that's what you're referring to. However, being a gold-digger is a frame of mind, not a certain threshold of dollar amount expected of a guy having to his name in order to date.
Normal women want a guy with financial stability, and guys who are always unemployed and live paycheck to paycheck as a single guy are bitter about this, and will sometimes erroneously call such women gold-diggers, but usually just bash them in general out of being sour about it.
Some women are not gold-diggers, but seek -status-. They're honest when they say they don't want to buy a bunch of bling-bling and go shopping on his credit card 24/7... but they want an -upscale- guy who is several steps beyond financially stable, and lives at least in the borderline wealthy demographic. I call them status-diggers. Classic high-school mentality.
A gold-digger is someone whose #1 requirement about a guy is for him to let her be financially dependent on him without ANY worries, where she can enjoy luxeries suitable to her. Second comes whether the guy is tolerable as a person... and third is whether he's actually a compatible -mate-, which to many, just fulfilling #1 & #2 means he is in their rose-colored eyes. It's not about financial stability, for say, if they were to have kids and she not working. It's more than that, with a different attitude. It's that she doesn't want to work, before or after a potential marriage, kids or not... and she wants to be financially pampered thru the dating scene and beyond. But that's relative...
A young gal could have grown up in a trailer park in a poor family barely scraping by. A guy with a great manufacturing job 10 miles out she meets at a local bar. He's in middle-class level and is doing just fine financially. To her, in this hypothetical case, she ends up liking him because he can "take care of her", and not in the sense of caring per se, but you know what I mean (like an adult child). She doesn't need as much bling-bling, as just about ANY will suit her just like the "standard" gold-digger wanting 10x more, but the attitude is the same, and that's what separates gold-diggers and normal women. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 1:02:57 PM | Well stated OP. Good to hear a real man speak with some intelligence and class. Hats off to you. Thanks again for the thoughtful post  | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 1:05:39 PM | In relationships, I've learned to not ask for what I am unable to give. During the time that I was unemployed, I did not date because I was too busy looking for employment and I wouldn't have wanted to date me at the time as I was stressed and cranky in worrying about the future. I do not think that having a job and a car is unrealistic.
A. You have to support yourself and not be a sponge.
B. There are some areas with excellent public transportation, unfortunately, I don't live in one of those areas. I have dated guys without a car and I say <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> to that. I don't think that this is unreasonable.
Message 51 is right on the money! I have my own gold, I just need your brain, body and laughter! | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 1:27:42 PM |
I noticed something pretty strange in my time on these forums, mainly men calling women gold diggers for demanding that a man have a job and/or a car. Since when did looking for something other than street bums start to mean that these women are gold diggers.
Being a man myself, I am embarrassed by all those on these forums that refer to these women as gold diggers. Get off the couch, get on the bus, and go get yourself a JOB! It doesn't make her a gold digger, it just makes you a moron for calling her that.
I think some of us need to meet some real gold diggers because we have lost touch
OP -- You failed to mention that a good lot of those that insist he have a job + car are without a job + car themselves.
So how in the HELL does that NOT make them golddiggers? Asking of us what they don't even have themselves?
GOLD. DIGGERS.
I refuse to be someone's walking ATM machine who doubles as her personal chauffeur. If she has job + car then I'm game. If she insists on it and lacks them herself - then she fails at life.  | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 2:34:22 PM | "Must have car and job=gold digger?"
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Since money offers no long-term happiness and statistically I'm sure that the chances are rather slim for two people to stay together anyway, I guess it doesn't really matter if the guy lives in a shoe box or in a castle. It also doesn't matter if he drives a Rolls Royce or an old, rusty Honda. What matters however, is personality. A gold digger is a person who doesn't care about the latter as long as there's money, i.e. long-term suffering. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 3:32:01 PM | Oh, now I get it. A woman is only a goldigger if she expects more than you currently have in the way of a car and a job?
Actually you don't get it Abelian, while your right I don't have a Benz E Class and a 7 figure income I do have a good job, nice cars and a nice home. If a woman who has similar things wants me to have those things too, I'm fine with that. But if she insist I have those things and she has next to nothing, that's a big red flag to me. I want a woman on equal ground, this way there isn't that concern of who's after who money or belonging's. She got hers, I got mine, we're cool.  | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 5:20:37 PM |
I totally agree with this...if you're not working, dating isn't exactly at the top of the priority list.
Maybe, but it doesn't necessarily disqualify one from dating either. I used to go out with a girl from my study group and both of us lived in the same area and we were both at points where we didn't have jobs and it didn't stop us from dating one another. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/24/2009 5:24:55 PM | To me, dating shouldn't be about money. I think everyone on this planet is entitled to look for love, whether rich or poor. As much as it bugs me to see so many women who still feel as though they don't need to work because they are female, I wouldn't turn one down just because she has no job and/or no car (and a lot of women on here don't). I would also hope that the girl I am dating wouldn't just dump me if I ever lost my job, my car or even my home. Yes, a job and a home(couldn't care less about cars) do impress me and definitely earn them some respect in my eyes but the lack thereof isn't and shouldn't be a deal breaker either.
I guess I wouldn't call women who look for a men with a job and a car gold diggers but I would call them shallow and chauvinistic. Gold diggers are just women looking for a free ride(and there are men who do it too), they wouldn't settle for just a job and a car... although, who knows anymore with this economy. | |
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