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| Why is going out with someone your not attracted to a waste of time?
Posted: 7/26/2009 12:27:52 PM | Whatever, me being a larger woman has nothing to do with my"attitude" or whatever you seem to think I have. I suggest you look at yourself before casting any more stones.
This is exactly my point! I am one of those people who you would class as 'normal' (hence cheated of affection) yet many men are interested in and want to start relationships with me. You are just proving that everything I said was right initially. Yes, looks do have something to do with it, but at the end of the day if the attitude stinks you're not going to get past first base with someone. | |
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| Why is going out with someone your not attracted to a waste of time?
Posted: 7/26/2009 12:39:43 PM | I think it depends on if you define the relationship, if you do go out with someone then they will consider that you are interested, unless you specify to them that you are only interested in being friends and going out once in awhile otherwise someone will get hurt and im not into letting someone feel that im interested in them if im not, not fair to either one of us.
I do have male friends and have told them that is the only relationship that we will have and as long as they are ok with that then all is good. | |
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| Why is going out with someone your not attracted to a waste of time?
Posted: 7/26/2009 12:46:42 PM | | I don't get your point. I am not attractive to most men, I have accepted that fact many years ago. I am probably the nicest, most positive woman any man could ever care to meet. Most men who meet me tell me that they like me as a person, that I dress well, have an upbeat personality, am interesting to talk with, but that my face is just not pretty to them. I wear makeup that is appropriate, other than have a face translplant and as far as I know those are not available and/or affordable yet. I have done my share of soul searching as to why I am deemed to be forever in the friends zone, have asked men and women alike to be honest with me about how I am as far as maybe I see myself differently than others see me and have always gotten the same answer, The occupation of some of my family members, my average looking face, and the fact that I have not been married all seem to be deal breakers. Single men must truly be seeking a face that is beautiful, for my married male friends tell me that I have a cute face. | |
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| Why is going out with someone your not attracted to a waste of time?
Posted: 7/26/2009 1:11:14 PM |
I don't get your point. I am not attractive to most men, I have accepted that fact many years ago. I am probably the nicest, most positive woman any man could ever care to meet. I'm sure you are nice, but as for positive? Please just do me a favour and read your past threads and answer, do you really come across as a positive person? I'm not wishing to pick an argument with you. I merely know from my own dating preferences that words speak volumes about a person, and I listen to those words and make assumptions of a persons characteristics based on them. You are probably a beatiful woman, but you don't see yourself that way, you see yourself as 'normal', but people are looking for 'special'. They can have 20 'normal' people a week if they want to. If you don't believe you're special, why would you expect anyone else to. | |
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| Why is going out with someone your not attracted to a waste of time?
Posted: 7/26/2009 1:25:06 PM | Your opinion is just that, your opinion. You know nothing about how I am in real life. I am a very special woman, and have a beautiful and kind heart.
Hey, believe it or not I have a kind heart too, I just speak my mind (just like you do), only my opinions differ from yours, but I will stand by my opinions (just like you do). I always intend to have a nice day, thank you. | |
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| Why is going out with someone your not attracted to a waste of time?
Posted: 7/26/2009 1:26:15 PM | 'scuse me, ladies, but I just wanna post this quickly -- not meaning to interrupt your exchanges ...
If she has posted a 5 year old picture and has put on 60#, as happened with one "first meet" I had a long time ago, that is exactly what it is...a waste of time. Agreed. There is (or should be) an expectation of honesty in our self-portrayals. That aside, I'm talking about the folks taken back by a 6# weight difference ... or a new hair style ... or a different pair of glasses.
That does not logically follow. There's a difference between "realistic" expectations, based on pictures and how she describes herself, and "unrealistic" expectations that she be physically "perfect". Again, 100% agreement on the realistic expectations thing. The shallowness and superficiality come into play when either party throws in the towel because the other doesn't look [i[exactly as they do in a reasonably current/accurate pic. Misrepresentation is one thing, but holding someone else to a set of unwavering surreal physical standards is altogether different. IMO, both are serious character flaws that make anyone far less attractive than they are, regardless of physical attributes or eye-appeal.
One of many aspects that determines an individual's perception of a meeting/date as a waste of time or not is how flexible one is/n't accepting & tolerant of others' imperfections. (Emphasis, once more, barring significant misrepresentation issues.) Everything in life that doesn't turn out as initially anticipated is NOT a failure or waste of time, although some people insist it is. Essentially, those are the traits that shape individual characters -- nothing wrong with that.
On the other hand, if prior to meeting I knew I wouldn't be attracted to her, but met her anyway, it's not fair to her, and it's a waste of time. And that< is the illogical part when there's NO hope of forming a relationship (other than friendship). Yet people do it and whine like brats (kids, not sausages) when their expectations aren't immediately fulfilled, 100%.
I've invited gals to lunch/coffee/whatever with whom we both acknowledged there is little or no commonality -- strictly just a "if a lunch sounds better than doing laundry" kind of thing. But that understanding comes up-front, and only with mutual agreement ... and only happens in limited instances. I've met several very nice ladies that way -- some have declined for whatever reason(s), and that's fine, too.
Okay, I'm done ... go ahead ... | |
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| Why is going out with someone your not attracted to a waste of time?
Posted: 7/26/2009 3:05:03 PM | It seems like half the posts assume that all dates lead to relationships.
You need to listen a little closer - in here that means reading a little slower and thinking about the words before replying. We are not assuming that all dates lead to relationships. We ARE, however, acknowledging the fact that SOME people are actually looking for a relationship and when they go on a date, what is on their mind is whether or not that person is relationship material. Just because someone acknowledges other people's views, does not mean they equate that to ALL, or even shares it. | |
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