| |
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 1/5/2010 1:45:31 PM | | Support Your Troops, (Afghanistan/Iraq) - "SAVE A CAMEL, RIDE A SOLDIER" ;) | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 1/5/2010 1:46:36 PM | | used 2 B a drug abuser...........every time she went in2 a chemist she couldn't help shouting **** OFF at the paracetamol!!!!!!!! | |
|
| |
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 1/5/2010 6:49:57 PM | If the leader of a kingdom is a King,
and the leader of an empire is an Emperor,
What do you call the leader of a Country? | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 1/5/2010 7:07:26 PM | Tigers new sponsor: The new and improved viagra - Tiagra- it's now good for 18 holes.
Who said "I wish all these ****es would shut the hell up!"?
If a man talks in the middle of the woods and no one is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Once upon a time there was a woman who didn't **** and didn't complain:)
but it was a long time ago and just for that one day:( | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 1/5/2010 7:24:23 PM | Here's one You ask someone Did it hurt wait you may say it again
did it hurt When you fell from Heaven | |
|
| |
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 1/9/2010 9:07:12 AM | | Woman asked the barman for a double entendre - so he gave her one. | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 1/9/2010 10:56:49 PM | What's the hardest party about roller blading?
Telling your parents you're gay. | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 3/8/2012 10:23:03 PM | Why did the caveman drag his woman to the cave by her hair?
Beacuse if he drug her by her foot, she would fill up with rocks, sticks, & dirt! | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 3/13/2012 9:17:44 AM | What do you call a mexican woman with no legs? Consuelo  javascript:smilie('') | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 3/14/2012 3:42:54 PM | Sorry ladies. 5 million battered women and i've been eating mine plain. | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 3/15/2012 11:39:20 PM | What is white and 10 inches?
Nothing (Sorry I couldn't resist)
Two things I despise, a drunk man when I am sober and a sober man when I am drunk. | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 3/15/2012 11:45:14 PM | Sorry Ladies
Why do women have three holes? One to b**ch at you, one to give you a bunch of shit & one to say I'm sorry. | |
|
| |
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 3/15/2012 11:48:49 PM | If they call watches made in Swtizerland a Swatch. What do they call watches made in Croatia?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If a child is a Special Ed student and come to school late. Can they call him tardy? | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 3/17/2012 9:53:08 AM | I always wanted to be a comedian, but when I told them at the Job Centre they laughed in my face.
My parents are mixed race, my father is Indian and my mother does the 100m.
Someone once threw their camera at me, I still get flashbacks. | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 3/20/2012 10:09:04 PM | Wife says, honey, for this anniversary I want you to take me to a place a haven't been to in a long time.......So he took her to the kitchen.
Wife says, honey, for this anniversary, I want something shiny and that can go past 200 in a few seconds......So he gave her a scale.
What is marriage? It's a sacred institution where a man can do whatever the heck his wife wants him to do.
I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look.
Ways to say someone is "not all there"
- They are 2 cans short of a six pack.
- They are 25 cents short of a dollar.
- The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
Do you know how to keep an idiot waiting?....
I'll tell you later
"Stop the world, I want to get off" | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 3/22/2012 9:21:18 AM | What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!
A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way...
Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no
Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.
Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!" | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 4/12/2012 9:18:50 AM | Me: You must have bee raised on a farm.....
Her: Why yes I was, why?
Me: Cause you sure know how to raise a c.o.c.k! | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 4/15/2012 7:40:33 AM | | Q: What would you get if your donkey ate my chicken's feet? A: Two feet of my c0ck in your ass. | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 4/15/2012 11:00:26 AM | If a kid is late to his special education class, would it be appropriate to say he's tardy?
Those first two guys who thought superman was a bird or plane... why were they so excited??
If Satan punishes the evildoers wouldn't that make him a good guy?
If you have x-ray vision and you close your eyes, can you still see?
If the opposite of pro is con, is the opposite of progress congress?
If a zombie owns a house does it have a living room?
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just Juan.
Why do fish always know how much they weight? Because they have their own scales.
Mexican and black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you heard Juan you've heard Jamal.
I went to a seafood disco last week and PULLED A MUSSEL.
Why does little mermaid wear seashells? Because A and B shells were too small.
Two radio antennae got married. The wedding was ok, but the reception was GREAT!
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? BISON.
How do you organize a party in space? You planet.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calender? They each got 6 months.
Did you hear the joke about the sidewalk? It was all over town. | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 4/25/2012 11:52:15 AM | | who's the most popular girl at the nudist camp?.....she's the one who can eat the last donut! | |
|
| funny one liners thread
Posted: 7/11/2012 6:12:53 PM | I don... i don't..... don't..... I don't .. I Don't do...... I don't do.... do... do Drugs.
What would Scooby Doo? | |
|
Home
login 
