| Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 6/1/2007 8:41:18 PM | | Alone, no question. Being with someone who is not your type is basically pity dating. You're not only closing the door on meeting someone who might be your type, you are keeping someone else from meeting a person that actually wants to be with them. That's just wrong. | |
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Yvette
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Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 104 | |
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| Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 6/2/2007 3:49:19 AM | Being in an unhealthy relationship where your needs aren't being met or being with someone that doesn't treat you fairly is much worse than being alone.
While being alone isn't the way I intended to live most of my adult life, I'll continue to do so because there is far less pain and BS on a daily basis being alone than with the "wrong one". | |
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| Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 6/2/2007 4:55:42 AM | Be alone or settle for someone that is not Your type.
It's not a simple case of choosing one or the other, frankly. If you want to be alone - as in, remain single - then remain that way and give up on finding someone to be with as life partners. Be happy being single, many people are.
However, if you recognize that you'd be happier in general being in a relationship, then go for it. I certainly don't believe that you should settle for someone who isn't your type or vice versa. There's something wrong, if you're pursuing a relationship based solely on fears of being alone. If you settle or compromise, all you'll probably end up doing is try changing that person so that you don't feel as though you've settled. They'll try to do the same.
A relationship, to my mind, should be based on completely accepting each other as is. 100%. I'm not talking about turning a blind eye, I'm talking about being totally honest with each other from Day One and being able to accept and respect everything - especially without changing anything about who you are and what you want. Unfortunately, that's what makes finding someone so tricky. It's painful, but it needs to be in order to be real. It means that both of you have to be honest and throw yourself into it, regardless of how uncomfortable openly trusting someone from the get-go might be for either of you. Otherwise, it's just a doomed fantasy. | |
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| OMG!
Posted: 6/2/2007 6:42:54 AM | I don't know how old you are, but if you are not dead yet then you can still find your perfect match!
DO NOT SETTLE. Then you miss the chance of finding your true happiness. Just because you are alone TODAY does not mean tomorrow will be that way.
Like I have said on other threads, view dating as FUN, not as a hassle or a job interview. Go out as often as you can with as many people as you can and eventually you will find people you like who like you back!
They are not going to ring your doorbell and sit on your couch, you have to go out an find them. I am 36 and just found someone. To many people that is a LONG time to be looking. But to others I am lucky to have found somone so soon.
Love is not a race, but you DO have to leave the starting gate! | |
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| Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 6/2/2007 7:11:03 PM | I'd rather be alone than settle for someone who isn't right for me. I did that many years ago and even though we were together for many years, I wasn't as happy as I could've been.
I'm not planning on falling into the same trap again, the right one will eventually turn up. | |
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| Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 6/2/2007 7:40:57 PM | | Why are there only two choices? Life is a continuum. Relationships rnage from nodding at each other once a week to mad sex and intimate secrets six times a day. All I have are questions. How much not my type? Why not my type? Are we lovers yet? ... basically I won't settle but realtionships offer a ton of gray. | |
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| Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 6/2/2007 7:45:40 PM | At first you need to know what do you want. For me is better wait for the real connection. Being single is not bad stuff. Whe I see him . . . I will know
Physical Chemistry Generates Desire,
Emotional Chemistry Generates Affection,
Mental Chemistry Generates Interest,
Spiritual Chemistry Creates Soulmates. | |
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| Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 6/2/2007 8:09:25 PM | sddude, you have given me new ideas for expanding my range. Thank you!
But I still think: "It is better to be alone than in bad company", as one poster said.
I've tried it. It didn't take.
SunsetStorm, don't give up. I've only felt that way 3 times. Each time, it didn't last long enough to get to the relationship proper. But I know the alternative will be worse. So I'm still holding out. Remember, a positive outlook is one of the main ingredients for a successful relationship. Every one gone is one less, and so one step closer to the right person. | |
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| Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 6/2/2007 8:40:07 PM | | I'm almost getting scared..... We're all here looking for someone, but lately I'm finding it more comfortable ( and less work) just enjoying the time by myself..... I'll bet many of the ladies feel the same. Why are we searching so much for someone, when we have better things to do? Maybe you just find him/her on certain schedule.... and apparently....it isn't ours....... | |
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| Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 6/2/2007 9:02:01 PM | Married most of my life and ...
I've never had a short relationship. That translates to ... I've never settled. I don't think it would be a good idea for me to start now.
One thing we should keep in mind ... what about the other person? I could not do it to the other person. | |
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| Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 6/2/2007 9:07:03 PM | | Better to be alone, as I learned from my last relationship. I won't settle again, too much inevitable hurt, so my lesson is if I know it isn't going to work end it then cause prolonging is counter-productive in a sense. Despite being alone can sometimes suck, I'm fine with life by myself, I keep busy and ambition really drives me. Better to be alone, be happy with yourself, get your shit together and be ready for the one you aren't settling for. | |
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| Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 6/5/2007 1:40:04 AM | No one should ever settle! it will eventuqally erode away at what ever is holding the relationship together till you wonder why you got together in the first place.
Use your mind, and follow your heart... no matter what, you will either learn a lesson in life.... or maybe find eternal bliss. 
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