| | Why she never callsPage 3 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | | HMMMMMM Keep an eye on that one.. Most people can handle a 2 minute phone call no matter how busy they are | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:37:10 AM | I usually do call every morning and a couple times through out the day...and thought my guy wouldn't notice if I didn't call in the morning once in awhile....just like you...he does notice if I don't call...and once I asked him if he liked me calling..and he said he loved it...up until that moment...I really didn't know for sure that he enjoyed the calls as much as I did...
it may very well be that she is busy...and doesn't realize how much a call means to you. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:44:25 AM | | typical FWB situation where one falls alot more than the other and develops 'feelings'..(in this case the man) usually its the other way around, but so be it. She's not really into you..(too busy) is just an excuse..and no phone calls?? pfffft...even if its 2 seconds to say goodnite..or good morning..(have a nice day). Nobody is THAT busy..and if you dont like to do it..so what?/ there are alot of things i may not like to do, but i DO them 'IF' i'm in a "realtionship" and have care & respect for the other person.Like others have said..its a booty call and going nowhere..i know of a case where this went on for 6 years..it goes on as long as u let it go on. Good luck, but i would move on..ur prolly in your mid 20's..u will fall again..trust me. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:57:26 AM | | ^^^ Tend to agree. Don't be deluded by occasional sex and pictures in wallets. I would push the relationship envelope and let the chips fall. "All or nothing at all, half a love never appealed to me," as the Lawrence and Altman song goes. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:52:24 AM | | I dont call or contact men usually. I cant bring myself to do that. I am kind of old fashioned that way. Why dont you meet her and not have sex and see if she is happy with that. That is a sure way to see if your being used for sex. If you want to talk to her why dont you call her everyday., Thats what men do who date me i never have had any problems with it | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 7/15/2012 3:37:31 PM | I think if her schedule is so busy that she has time to see you three times a week, it's not a booty call... her making that much time for you is her way of showing you she loves you.
perhaps ask about moving in together... | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 7/15/2012 3:46:41 PM | | perhaps she is busy , her reply seems plausible,, and how about you calling her instead but dont act too needy,, coming from a single mum i don't have time to chat on phone all time and her time with you is special its like stepping out of reality for a while, if you both love each other then trust her,, mums lives ar busy and can be mentally draining, if you love her then go with it .. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:20:33 PM | look, you're the man, you call her. as many of us women have learned the hard way, if you call a guy too much they get all weird about it and then eventually do that whole disappearing act. you're the man, if you want her, then go get her. trust me, if she starts chasing after you you will lose interest or take her for granted.
her not calling has sure made you wonder though, hasn't it? maybe it's worked, no? it's piqued your interest and has kept you guessing where things stand. lol!
she knows what she's doing...kudos to her! :) i wish i had that kind of discipline... in my case, if i am crazy about someone, i tend to want to talk to them ALL THE FLIPPING TIME... i eventually give in, call em, text em, or something...i've always regretted it... but i keep doing it anyway like a moron...Lol!
your girl friend is my new hero...:) | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:22:03 PM |
I do see her about twice a week and sometimes maybe 3. She tells me she is very much in love with me but if she is so why do she not so much pick up the phone and say hi after a couple days.I did ask her about this and she reminds me she has a busy lifestye with both work and her daughter.
Chill out, OP. You don't even know her well enough yet to determine if you're being used. Give it some time - eventually it will become clear.
In the meantime, try not to become a huge pain in the ass. You get to see her two or three times a week - that's pretty good! | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:49:00 PM |
look, you're the man, you call her. as many of us women have learned the hard way, if you call a guy too much they get all weird about it and then eventually do that whole disappearing act. you're the man, if you want her, then go get her. trust me, if she starts chasing after you you will lose interest or take her for granted.
Have to agree. I don't like playing games but sometimes they serve a purpose. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 7/15/2012 6:02:14 PM | THE PHONE WORKS BOTH WAYS!!
If you're wanting to talk to her - CALL HER FOR GOD'S SAKE and stop playing this game. Grow up and use the phone yourself please. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 7/15/2012 8:02:46 PM | Dude are you serious? You are actually complaining your girl doesn't call you enough? I would love it if I was seeing a woman that never wanted to talk on the phone and only wanted to communicate in person. For me, talking on the phone is like a trip to the dentist's office. I think all calls should be limited to saying that you are running late/on your way, asking what you want picked up like in reference to food, or if you are out of town on a trip and you haven't talked or seen each other in awhile, you want to catch up. etc.. But regular phone conversation is one of the biggest chores of dating in all honesty. Plus, are you really that damn needy where you have nothing else going on where you have to talk to her all the time? You are already seeing her 2-3x a week.
Ladies, one thing I will say is that men do not like it when a woman blows up their phone. However, we don't like to be in anything one sided either. I say use the 3:1 ratio. For every three texts, calls, etc that your guy makes, do one on your own accord that is not in response to anything.
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 8/2/2012 5:35:53 PM | | I cannot agree with 90% of these posts. I am a single mom and work 45 minutes away and do not get home until after 5 pm, then comes supper, dishes, laundry, my 5 year olds needs, put animals on top of everything else and I will be honest, I am almost to busy to even date, but the phone? NO time everyday for the phone and especially to text. So if a guy can't get that and take up the lead and call (because usually they are not as busy) then he is not the right guy for me. Just sit her down and talk to her. Be ready for the truth no matter what. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 8/2/2012 6:16:42 PM | | If a woman rarely calls it shows me how interested she is in me. It doesn't matter how busy someone is nobody is too busy to call. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:31:57 AM |
I cannot agree with 90% of these posts. I am a single mom and work 45 minutes away and do not get home until after 5 pm, then comes supper, dishes, laundry, my 5 year olds needs, put animals on top of everything else and I will be honest, I am almost to busy to even date, but the phone? NO time everyday for the phone and especially to text. So if a guy can't get that and take up the lead and call (because usually they are not as busy) then he is not the right guy for me. Just sit her down and talk to her. Be ready for the truth no matter what.
Hogwash! If you're "too busy" to place the phone call every now and then, then you do not deserve a man who calls you consistently. If we're talking relationship here, then it should be a 50/50 effort. Again, if you're too busy, or too lazy to call 50% of the time, then you get to struggle through life as a perpetual single mother. I don't understand how you can expect a man to make all the effort in one area, while you make none, and never thinking of the non verbal message you're sending. And I know you won't like my answer. Nor will you re-evaluate your own mindset. Most likely, you will continue through life blaming other people for most of your problems and failures. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:33:36 AM | If she doesn't share in the callin gyou dept. It is time to move on....
If she can't show you the courtesy of calling you, then she has too many competing priorities. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:50:32 AM |
look, you're the man, you call her. as many of us women have learned the hard way, if you call a guy too much they get all weird about it and then eventually do that whole disappearing act. you're the man, if you want her, then go get her. trust me, if she starts chasing after you you will lose interest or take her for granted.
her not calling has sure made you wonder though, hasn't it? maybe it's worked, no? it's piqued your interest and has kept you guessing where things stand. lol!
she knows what she's doing...kudos to her! :) i wish i had that kind of discipline... in my case, if i am crazy about someone, i tend to want to talk to them ALL THE FLIPPING TIME... i eventually give in, call em, text em, or something...i've always regretted it... but i keep doing it anyway like a moron...Lol!
your girl friend is my new hero...:)
More nonsense. "You're the man, you call her." Why are you some of you people so black and white? Everything in moderation acceptable., if not good. So don't call your man "too much". Sure, don't call your man 50 times per week when he only calls you twice or he'll get weirded out. Only call him twice also. Same thing applies for us men. If you women don't call your men for whatever excuses you come up with, how in the world can you expect him to make 100% of the effort? Besides, you wouldn't even be interested in man for very long who did that. If you're not consistently challenged and kept in the dark about a few things, you'll get disinterested and bored. As would I. Stop with the full throttle to idle nonsense. There is a whole range in between the two which is good. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 8/3/2012 2:59:22 AM | Similar to what Tracypop says, I think it's best when two people are on the same page. If you're the type of person that likes staying in contact frequently with someone you care for, then it only makes sense to have a partner who feels the same way & can reciprocate naturally.
Personally I love talking on the phone with the right type of person, someone who can also talk easily & time flies by without you realizing it, at least in the early stages. I've usually had girlfriends that are the same way. But from reading the comments on this thread, it sounds like I'm in the minority here as far as enjoying talking on the phone, lol. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 8/3/2012 3:35:15 AM | RedDel:
"You're the man, you call her." Why are you some of you people so black and white? Everything in moderation acceptable., if not good. So don't call your man "too much". Sure, don't call your man 50 times per week when he only calls you twice or he'll get weirded out. Only call him twice also. Same thing applies for us men. If you women don't call your men for whatever excuses you come up with, how in the world can you expect him to make 100% of the effort? Besides, you wouldn't even be interested in man for very long who did that. If you're not consistently challenged and kept in the dark about a few things, you'll get disinterested and bored. As would I. Stop with the full throttle to idle nonsense. There is a whole range in between the two which is good. I totally agree and well said.
The fact is, she isn't calling because she doesn't want to. Busyness happens, but you can find a time after things have died down to make the effort.
It's all about balance. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 8/5/2012 10:08:50 PM | mary_jane
it's not about "playing games," it's called remaining a bit skeptical of a man until you know what his intentions happen to be. it's called protecting your heart from getting battered and bruised. this idea that a woman is somehow playing "games" if she doesn't call men all that much is ridiculous. men get pretty bored and even annoyed if a woman is calling him all the time. men lose interest in women that chase after them, and if a man is into you, he'll let ya know. men have no problem going after what they want. men are all about the chase, and if a woman has to chase a man, then he is really not interested in her. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 8/5/2012 10:28:00 PM | men get pretty bored and even annoyed if a woman is calling him all the time. men lose interest in women that chase after them, and if a man is into you, he'll let ya know. men have no problem going after what they want. men are all about the chase, and if a woman has to chase a man, then he is really not interested in her.
It's a thin line...but not as thin as women make it sound.
I don't date women who feel they need to chase because I'm not a man who enjoys being chased. Then too...I also don't have to chase either (why chase what you can hunt or attract?). Of course, two people who understand that they needn't chase can present a bit of a communication problem if one or the other becomes clingy or (worse), starts trying to ration the contact to artificially define the interest levels. That is where male leadership from the outset comes in.
If I feel that a woman isn't into me, I wont stick around. Men's hearts bruise too (we just don't write books about it). I give the standard 3 texts a day and take full control of the communication spectrum until after the first or second date (depending on the interest levels). I say good morning, how was your day, and good night at the least. I establish a pattern early on so a woman knows what to expect. If she wakes up and heads out the door before me after we have established that there is considerable interest on both sides, than I do expect her to communicate in kind with a 'good morning'. If she goes to bed before me; I expect that she at least says good night. It's not going to sink the relationship if she responds to my pattern in kind...that's why I set it. Any woman who is paying attention will pick it up with ease.
The women who get written off are the ones who text you all hours of the day because they have nothing better to do. Thats annoying no matter who you are. However, paying back the communication you are paid forward isn't chasing a man as much as it is keeping the levels of interest fairly mutual. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 8/6/2012 4:33:25 AM | #21
exactly! We are all different. So to everyone on POF that tells you she does not call when you expect or want = she is not into you, they could be wrong. The fact that this is a pattern of 1 1/2 years says she is into you. But not as you want, like or feel comfortable with. So your decision is can you handle this or change it or move on.
Us guys expect everything to exist as we think it should exist. If we are quiet or if we are talkative or whatever our way is we want to receive any feed back to our lives in OUR format. Well that does not work that way, and sometimes, especially with women it really, really does not work that way!!
YOU need to look and listen to her, about HER. Not with half your brain set on you as you listen to her. And when you really work at this, you will see a difference how you begin to feel her and understand her...And if you master this...
geez, it get's so nice! :)
Remember true love is truly generous, not, "why ain't I getting phone calls when I want"! | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 8/6/2012 11:21:08 AM | | I think the 3:1 method is fair. For example.. For every three calls a guy makes, call him once on your own. For every three dates he plans/pays for, you plan/pay for one. You are allowing your guy to be the man in the relationship while still taking an active interest and showing reciprocation. A lot of guys don't mind leading and initiating. I know that I don't. We just don't want to be in anything one sided. | |
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| Why she never calls
Posted: 8/6/2012 2:39:20 PM | | Actually, I am dating someone right now and have only been divorced since April, so obviously not everyone shares your views and once in an actual relationship then I might call as I'm driving home, or a time when I have a few minutes, but he doesn't mind calling me, cause he does not have a little child. | |
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