| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:14:59 AM | What exactly is easily solveable about living with psychosis, or clinical depression, or undiagnosed schizophrenia?
If it were easily solveable, no one would ever get to the depths of despair where they ever contemplated taking their own lives. | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:20:48 AM | they are easily solveable by taking the rght treatment, whether it be drugs, therapy, a psychologist or just a cry on a shoulder. I am Bi-polar, which is a tad worse then Depression and i have never once self harmed myself or even contemplated it.. i just get on with my life.
Schizophrenia is quite easily diagnosable and there are a few treratments out there that can aid greatly.
Like i said, easily solveable, but only if people want the help and not a quick route out. | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:30:58 AM |
People who kill themselves are troubled and I am very sorry for the people who are left behind as I'm one of them but blaming everyone as selfish doesn't help
its easy to say blaming them as selfish doesnt help..but a suicide in a family causes absolute chaos and the repercussions can carry on for many many years afterwards..its somthing you dont get over and it stays with you and the rest of your family forever... | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:31:37 AM | It's diagnosed if you can get a proper diagnosis. I had a relative who was showing all the signs of schizophrenia, but was never a danger to himself. So how was he going to get a diagnosis? If he was able to hold down a job and have a relatively normal life when he was well, exactly how do you get someone help.
I've tried and failed on numerous occasions to get people sectioned in the line of work I used to do, people with schizophrenia, people with personality disorders, even people who had CPN's and had made more than one suicide attempt. None of them got the help and support they needed from the medical profession.
Also people don't tend to get diagnosed with schizophrenia unless they have been showing symptoms for a period of 12 months as people don't want to misdiagnose.
With issues such as paranoia, psychosis or schizophrenia, people can take their medication, feel well and then stop taking it and that's when the problems start.
I have a friend who is bipolar and it took 20 years for that to be diagnosed and only after she was sectioned because she was displaying very extreme and bizarre behaviour.
So things are not easily solveable for everyone with a mental health issue.
I've suffered from depression and have asked and asked and asked my GP for help and been told no, under no circumstances will they give me an anti depressant.
So help is not out there for everyone.
It is possible for people to be suffering from clinical depression and not have a clue what is wrong and people only know when they take their own lives. The medical profession lets a lot of people down.
Try telling someone who is schizophrenic that they are ill, try getting someone sectioned, it really is not that easy at times.
I've lost someone to suicide twice, I know how hard it is, but I also know how hard it is to get someone professional help when it is obvious they are ill but they are not behaving in a way that will get them sectioned.
I also know people who are schizphrenic and their families have tried everything to get them professional help, if someone will not take it there is nothing you can do.
People don't ask to be schizophrenic or suffer from any kind of mental health problem but there are few people who end their lives without truly being in despair.
I won't condemn the person I loved who died because I know how hard his life was living with the illness and yes I wish he hadn't done what he did, but he did and there is nothing I can do about it. Hating him or blaming him will not help me.
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:34:53 AM | | The Indians used to call it the long walk and saw no shame in suicide at all. They actually had a lot of respect for the men who decided lifes great struggles could go f&ck themselves. I imagine it is always harder for those left behind but I also dont think a pill a day for depression would stop someone giving up on life. | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:42:12 AM | Unfortunately modern medications are not the magical potions that some people would like to think. It may come as a suprise but there are lots of people with schizophrenia on theraputic doses of anti psychotics that do not get total relief from auditory hallucinations. These can sometimes be worse with low mood and when someone is getting a critical running commentry of everything they do, its not suprising theycan feel very very low.
Bi-polar is also another cruel illness, and its often not realised that there are vast variations on this illness, so what one bi-polar sufferer experiences can be markedly different for another person. Ross forgive me if I am wrong, but becasue you have said your bi-polar is only a tad worse than depression I can only imagine that you have it fairly mild with little variation in moods. I work with people for whom life is a permanent struggle and for whom death is the easier option. | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:49:06 AM | | mine is "moderate" according to the GP's and psychologists i have seen.. i'm just very good at putting things in perspective and don't show emotions and feelings... my head is like a battleground, if you can comprehend the metaphor. My mood swings can greatly vary but thankfully i think before i speak verbally.. and i am great at hiding my emotions and what not..whether it be for self preservation or just to make people think that i am ok.. i feel like crap most days but i have a beautiful daughter and everything i do, i do for her and i can't and will not let my self be dominated by negative thoughts and emotions :) | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:11:03 PM | It's a hideous thing to happen, and worse if you find it.
One of my first girlfriends lost her dad, and found him, he'd used a shotgun, another friend's brother did it with a plastic bag in the bathroom.
But it wasn't a choice, there doesn't even need to be a tangible reason or trigger for depression. It's a hideous illness, and they died from it.
There's no blame attached to the victim or those left behind.
People should seek professional Bereavement counseling, and talk to people who have had lots of experience with this.
Our 'normal' condition is survival at any cost. Our bodies automatically release adrenaline to improve our chances of survival. The fight or flight reflex is automatic.
The act of suicide is the final conclusion of the illness called depression.
The illness killed them, they didn't kill themselves, they were terminally ill.
I know it's easy to say, and it takes time to get over, counseling will help.
I had a friend died in her sleep last year, and her 5 year old son found her, he was just as traumatized, it's a horrible thing to find.
There should be no more stigma attached to suicide than any death from other causes. | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 10/17/2009 2:21:36 PM | The illness killed them, they didn't kill themselves, they were terminally ill.
Jo I've never heard that said before but its very much the way I think about it. Im sure it would provide some comfort and help those who are struggling to understand and come to terms with the suicide of loved ones.
Ross your lucky to have the protective factor of your daughter and she helps to keep you boyant but some people dont even have a friend in their lives to care about them, its a sad fact of life but friends go thin on the ground when someone has a psychotic or depressive episode and rarely come back. | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 10/17/2009 2:59:03 PM |
Jo I've never heard that said before but its very much the way I think about it. Im sure it would provide some comfort and help those who are struggling to understand and come to terms with the suicide of loved ones.
It's a sh1tty thing Elaine, but there are other diseases which are terminal, that 'rob' you of the person you loved before the disease finally takes them;
Alzheimer's notably, but a colleague's mum died of CJD, and that was much the same.
MS is another.
The sufferers themselves are sometimes aware of themselves diminishing, and sufferers of depression are the same. They don't like what is happening to them.
Death is a sh1tty thing, but sadly part of the human condition.
Stigmatizing particular diseases isn't helpful
I know that those left behind feel anger and frustration, the same as you feel when you lose anyone, death is difficult and nasty, but there is no need to add blame to that.
No-one's to blame, same as with any illness.
Sadly as you get older, you go to more funerals and fewer weddings!
It just makes me want to enjoy being alive more!
This is a very depressing stuff for a saturday night in on my own!
But I've written it now so may as well post it!
Life's for the Living!!
 Cheer up! | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 10/17/2009 3:53:07 PM | Someone that is contemplating suicide has been thinking about this for a long time.
It’s very rare for a suicide to be impulsive. There's a lot of planning before and before you the courage to actually go through with it.... But before you even end up at the point when you are about to "do it" you've been through all sorts of feelings of; relief, guilt, selfishness, stupidity, coward, weak, looser, hate, what am I doing etc etc...
But when you know there’s no other way out, you do not consider the consequences after.... or the feelings and devastation amongst your family and friends... Guess that’s why most people feel that suicide is a very selfish act but if you never been there then you'll never know how it feels.... and most of people committing suicide see it as their family and friends are better off without them..... It’s an emotional difficult thing to judge.... | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 11/15/2009 5:31:44 PM | People who contemplate suicide think only of ending their own suffering and not about preventing anyone elses
Mental illness is not treated by many as a real illness and therefore many people who suffer feel the need to be secretive about it and often the cry for help is too late.
MIND are a woonderful charity for helping people with mental health issues and is very close to my heart. | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 11/16/2009 6:33:01 AM | If someone really wants to top themselves then "the act" can be done in a way which can reduce the number of other people involved. Sure, it'll still affect friends and family but to chuck themselves onto an oncoming train (for example) can have some serious psychological repurcussions on the train driver.
As a train driver myself, I've had to deal with two instances where I ran over a human body and although there was no 'point of impact' with both, it still can shake you up. Some drivers who experience this never return to the controls so in that sense you could say that suicide is at most inconsiderate to others, even though the person committing it is not in a fair state of mental health to acknowledge this.
My step sister killed herself so I can understand the nature of the beast to a point; it left my parents devastated. We've all heard how "suicide is the cowards' way" but I'm not so sure. If anything, it's an urge to move on from pain and this is where I see it as a logical act if nothing can be done as nobody wants pain.
Tricky subject to tackle. | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 11/16/2009 8:30:21 AM | A good friend of mine killed himself, almost 2 years ago. He threw himself in front of a train, not long after New Year. When I heared about it, I was gutted beyond belief. He was a recovering heroin addict that had relapsed. That is the only explanation I can come up with?I saw him just before Christmas, said I would ring him and meet up, but I never got around to it.
Such was the popularity of the man, there were over 200 people at his funeral, not everyone could fit in the church.
R.I.P Woody | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 11/16/2009 10:50:08 AM | It's just such a tragic situation and I really don't think anyone has the right to judge those who are driven to it.
I also don't think anyone has the right to stop someone doing it, the doctors should be allowed to leave the person to die rather than bringing them back to a life they were so desperate to escape, and the general consensus is that if they don't succeed they'll get better but in fact many suicide attempts do end in eventual death maybe years later, thus dragging the individual and their family through years of pain that could've been prevented. | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 11/16/2009 11:22:52 AM | My little sister killed herself in May this year she was 21 years old. I hope that by telling her story, it will change people's perceptions on the selfishness of suicide.
My sister had a very long history of mental health problems. She was diagnosed with Schizo Affective disorder, a borderline personality disorder and an unspecified eating disorder. All in all she spent approximately 4 years out 6 as an in-patient in various psychiatric units.
This may sound a little strange, but when she attempted suicide she was not actually attempting to end her life. For example, when she overdosed she would take the pills and call someone to help her. The reason for the suicide attempt was simply that she was not coping and staff were not taking her seriously. She developed a sucide behaviour because it was the only way she could get staff to respond appropriately to her needs at that time. It was also one of the only ways she could ensure hospital admission.
In May this year, two days before she died she went into a bathroom, on the psychiatric unit where she was admitted as an in-patient, and strangled herself. Staff noticing that she had not returned responded immediately and cut the ligature from her neck. She was fine. She spoke to my mum who was on holiday in Scotland in floods of tears saying that she did not want to die, but that they were taking away her PRN (emergency anti-psychotic medication) that she desperately wanted.
Two days later, she once again asked for the bathroom key got into the bath, thinking that staff would notice her absence because she had asked for the key (the ward had a locked bathroom policy). This time staff were not on the ball and 40 minutes went by before she was found by which time it was too late. The staff at AnE worked on her for over an hour and a half to no avail. She died. To make it even more tragic she died on my mothers birthday.
My parents had taken my daughter to Scotland when it happened leaving myself and my younger brother to attend the hospital and deal with the police. I was the one who had to go and find my other sister at her friends house and tell her that her twin was dead. It was the most horrific thing I have ever had to do.
At her funeral I said that at least she was not living with the torment she was living when she was with us, and I honestly believe that anything we are experiencing now is NOTHING compared to what she had to endure.
I do not think she was selfish, the police, coronor and internal hospital investigations have all pointed out that she did not intend to end her life, she believed she would be found in time. So much so that her death will most likely be explained as 'Accidental Death' by the coronor.
I miss her more than I can say, and its only been 6 months since we lost her. And I will never think of her as selfish and I will not ever blame her for what happened. She was not well, and it is the staff who were on duty that night who are to blame.
(Before anyone bites my head off for saying that about the staff, you should know that they have admitted responsibility for her death and have also acknowledged that the incident should not have happened given the safe environment that patients are supposed to be in. This also is taking into consideration her medical history making this incident predictable)
I would also like to say that her funeral was a perfect day for her. No one wore black we told everyone to wear bright and whacky clothing. My sister and I decorated her coffin with photos and lettering to make it more personal. We wrote things like 'THIS WAY UP' and 'DO NOT DROP' which she would have found hilarious.
RIP Elizabeth - Abeautiful sister who will never be forgotten 13/01/1988 - 11/05/2009 | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 11/16/2009 11:35:11 AM | Katie, as you know, you have my empathy and support.
I lost my sister in August, after years of suicide attempts she accidently died while self harming. They say the pain will eventually dull, but honestly will any of us ever really get our heads around the tragedy of mental illness. My only regret is that she wasn't allowed to die 10 years ago when my children were too young to be as affected as they are now. That probably comes across as awful, but as I've said before, nobody has the right to judge any situation they know nothing about.
I wish you eventual peace of mind Katie. xxx | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 11/16/2009 11:46:40 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Thank you :) xxxx
I understand that. My daughter was 3 when she died. She does still talk about Lizi, like when we drive past the hospital or her old flat she always says 'Lizi's house!!' There is nothing I can say that explains it to her, so in a way I am thankful it heppened now and not in 6 or 7 years.
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 11/16/2009 12:00:14 PM | I don't think my uncle was selfish either, he had schizophrenia and had made previous attempts, my mum did everything she could to keep him alive, when he died he was married, he was working, he seemed the happiest he had been in his entire life. I don't blame him for what he did and it's been 19 years now and the only thing I can say to people who are suffering is that you never forget but it gets easier.
There is a big black hole in my life where Alan used to be but you carry on for the people left behind who need you. The death earlier in the year of the Motherwell player Paul McGrillen really affected me because he was suffering from clinical depression and no one who knew him would ever have guessed. I'm sorry for the people who have had to deal with people throwing themselves in front of a train but I think when people are in despair they really are not at the point of thinking about lessening the impact on the people who find them.
My uncle drowned himself, I had to go to uni one day and see the police divers coming in the opposite direction and knew it was his body they were searching for. It was a month before they found him and I've suffered from chronic insomnia ever since, not having slept that entire month. But I do understand he was ill and he was not responsible for that illness. | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 11/16/2009 3:37:46 PM | To those who have lost loved ones in this way my heart goes out to you it really does.
No one should judge or blame someone who has either commited or attempted suicide. There is so much that a sufferer of severe depression goes through that unless you have been there you cant understand it. When depression is at its worst it can seem so hopeless and the only way i can describe it is that you feel like you are swimming in mud. You get little gasps of air but most of the time you are in it you can hardly keep your head up.
The stigma that is still attached to depression is very real and also the treatment you get varies from county to county. For example, i have been on the waiting list for grief counselling for over a year, my cousin was refered and seen within 2 weeks in Somerset.
Please dont judge unless you have walked in the shoes of another when it comes to this type of thing, if you have had fantastic treatment and support then thats really great and im pleased for you but remember it isnt like that for everyone!
Someone else summed it up perfectly when they said something along the lines of the person just wants to end their suffering. You cannot see past your own mind and emotions when in the grips of depression and sometimes you really feel like the world would be a far better place without you in it. You feel like a burden to anyone and everyone that knows you and you honestly feel like your pain will never ever end.
Luckily (and hopefully) my depression to the extent above is a thing of the past but i relate only too well to anyone in the grips of it.
xx | |
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| Repercussions of a suicide
Posted: 11/16/2009 4:17:26 PM | Maybe we should start an online depression support group....
I'm game as at the moment I am in recovery from a horrendously bad spell where I spent 7 weeks in hospital.
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