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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/23/2009 2:37:47 AM | Why do ALL WOMAN . . . . .
How foolish it is to assume that because the men you are drawn to are a certain way that all men are. The redundancy of this answer is such that I cringe to even bring it up but here goes. If all the guys you meet are a certain way, it is because those are the kinds of guys you are attracted to, and if you don't like it why do you keep going back to the same well? Have you ever thought about changing your taste, as opposed to picking the same type of guy and then trying to change them? No of course not, because the kind of guy that wouldn't ask these kinds of questions just doesn't create the "chemistry" you want. Until you learn that the only thing you can change is you, you will continue to run into the same problems. If you want something to change in your life, then change something in your life, or stop complaining about the fact that nothing changes. | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:42:27 PM | | If that matters that much to you, you're not looking for a relationship. You're just looking for sex. Her personality, emotional connection to you, possibly looks to an extent should be why you're with her. Those should be strong enough for it not to matter whether she fulfills your fetish. Otherwise, it's just that, a fetish. That's not a question I'd ever ask. | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:14:25 PM | ^^^ Says the no sex before marriage guy.
Dude, if you don't believe in sexual relationships, your opinion on this subject is worth about as much as a Peso in the Hamptons. | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/23/2009 6:03:45 PM | I don't mind the questions...at the right time..but, sorry, I do not think perfect strangers have a right to know my personal sexual proclivities...period. And when it does come up..it better be in an adult, mature way. In my opinion, it doesn't need to come up till the possibility that it will go there comes up.
Even then...I just don't get it...All my previous lovers were very different in likes/dislikes, body types, style etc...but, not one of them was disappointing in bed. There isn't one sexual activity I can not live without...as long as we are both enjoying ourselves...the specifics aren't that important to me.
And we never discussed it ahead of time...it just happened, and we learned as we went. We both cared enough about each other to make it work for both. Besides, I am not a fan of taking all the mystery out of it anyway. A bit too pragmatic for me.
And it has nothing to do with being "vanilla", frigid, or a prude..I am none of the above.
My experience has always been that men who ask crude questions right out of the gate, are interested in sex only..not relationships...I have also found that in chat especially...they are asking the questions as a turn on, and if you play along...they think this means there will be cyber sex, or more.
I will never, ever, not cringe whenever I hear the " try it first "comment..women are not commodities , inanimate objects or vehicles for someone's personal satisfaction.
If you don't like me enough to take a chance...then , it isn't what I am looking for anyway.
How you feel about someone as a person should be the first guideline...in my opinion..for one thing, if a guy matched me perfectly in every sexual preference of mine..but, I didn't like him as a person?...Wouldn't happen. If a guy had some things where we didn't match...but, I really liked him? I'd make it work. The only thing I would judge on sexually, would be a libido lower than mine...that wouldn't work. The specifics? Just not that big a deal. So many ways to achieve the same results...
Who ever said anyone is entitled to guarantees in life...about anything? The prevailing societal attitude these days seems to be that one deserves perfection, and everything they want. Good luck with that one...
I don't judge the worth of a man by his penis size, or his sexual preferences, and I would appreciate it if they didn't judge me by similar standards.
soilder: Are you kidding me? The only thing that indicates is that he is serious about having sex with you...nothing else... | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/23/2009 6:29:43 PM | | I wasn't aware the exchange rate had turned so drastically in Mexico's favor. My opinion's as valid as anyone's, and furthermore, I know that I'm right about this. Asking the questions you love so much is the antithesis of wanting a serious relationship, no matter how much you lie to yourself. | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/23/2009 7:22:28 PM | ^^^I figured you'd say that. Your opinion is valid, but you lack experience in general (life experience trumps), so your opinion is not necessarily "right" (neither is mine, but at least I have had experience). I can't understand how people cannot think that people with experience might be right in certain areas. I never had an issue with people giving me advice. Getting advice and hearing from other people with life experience is one of the reasons why I am here on the forums. Many folks are just here to "hear themselves talk" or enforce their "right" opinions on others.
I for one, have learned from others on here and have applied some of those in my life.
Zangie, while I may have said that I don't mind those questions. I did mean that they should be asked at the right time - when both realize that the relationship is heading into possible long term intimacy.
Since I am not interested in casual sex, I would not be discussing this with someone unless I was considering a relationship with this person :D | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/23/2009 10:48:44 PM | I find it humorous that so many posters (especially women) are saying that a man who asks questions like this are just looking for sex...
When I ask questions like this and I am a serious relationship guy.
It must have just been a fever dream that I asked a girl questions like this (which she answered without hesitation) and I ended up marrying her.
And what I said still stands. A man who has not even gotten his willy wet really does not have a leg to stand on in giving sexual advice or having opinions about normal people who have normal relationships.
;) | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:50:55 PM | | Hey ladies, furnish the transportation, gas...pay for my entertainment, dinners...open doors and pull out chairs for me, bring me flowers....modify your schedule to suit mine, and the only question I will ever ask you is this......When can we do this again? | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/24/2009 9:36:13 PM |
I find it humorous that so many posters (especially women) are saying that a man who asks questions like this are just looking for sex...
When I ask questions like this and I am a serious relationship guy.
And you ask these questions in the first conversation you have with her? Trust me, you don't date or talk online to men...you are obviously an exception...if you do that..and I'm surprised you have much success with it...
And the only reason you married her is because she answered your sex questions the right way?..sheesh...if I knew this, I could have married quite a few men then...lol..
When there gets to a point where a relationship is a possibility...and you actually know the guy ..questions are fine...but, when the first thing they say to me is : How big are your boobs , or do you swallow?...yeah, they are looking for a relationship...sure they are...
There is far more to me than my sexual function...and if the first things that a man asks me are about what I will do for him...not the kind of all encompassing, sharing relationship I am looking for...
I wonder how most men would react if the first questions I asked them were about commitment, marriage, emotional bonding..etc? Or, even better..how much money do you make? That is no different guys...entitlement, or looking for what the other will do for you, is neither a good quality, nor the basis for a good relationship. | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/24/2009 11:34:22 PM | I find it humorous that so many posters (especially women) are saying that a man who asks questions like this are just looking for sex...
When I ask questions like this and I am a serious relationship guy.
And you ask these questions in the first conversation you have with her? Trust me, you don't date or talk online to men...you are obviously an exception...if you do that..and I'm surprised you have much success with it...
And the only reason you married her is because she answered your sex questions the right way?..sheesh...if I knew this, I could have married quite a few men then...lol..
When there gets to a point where a relationship is a possibility...and you actually know the guy ..questions are fine...but, when the first thing they say to me is : How big are your boobs , or do you swallow?...yeah, they are looking for a relationship...sure they are...
There is far more to me than my sexual function...and if the first things that a man asks me are about what I will do for him...not the kind of all encompassing, sharing relationship I am looking for...
I wonder how most men would react if the first questions I asked them were about commitment, marriage, emotional bonding..etc? Or, even better..how much money do you make? That is no different guys...entitlement, or looking for what the other will do for you, is neither a good quality, nor the basis for a good relationship.
GO GO terrible reading comprehension! (seriously... school is that way --->)
I am going to talk to you like a small child. I think that it would help.
I did not say that I married the pretty lady because she answered my questions, sweetie. I said that I asked her those questions, and I ended up marrying her, so that is one instance of proof that a man who asks personal questions is not just out to get laid.
See? Wasn't that easy? Let's try that again!
/sarcasm off.
Also, the OP never said that these questions were asked in the first convo. She said, "when first getting to know a guy." This could mean in the first month or two.
I used to ask these questions in the first or second convo. Now I generally wait a few weeks.
Once again, I am a serious relationship guy. I don't want to waste my time or hers if she is not compatible with me. I refuse to waste any more of my life on 2 month relationship hell.
Hey ladies, furnish the transportation, gas...pay for my entertainment, dinners...open doors and pull out chairs for me, bring me flowers....modify your schedule to suit mine, and the only question I will ever ask you is this......When can we do this again?
I could not agree more. | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/25/2009 1:35:15 AM | This whole thread ... wow.
Can't resist giving you girls the truth on this one:
Do you understand the meaning of the phrase "a few extra pounds"?
Are you taking any medications, and if not should you be?
Sixteen times during the first couple conversations isn't enough, can you ask me again in some way if I'm only out for sex?
Would you like to tell me now about what he did and how badly he hurt you, or will you be mentioning it at random intervals? | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/25/2009 9:51:44 AM |
I am going to talk to you like a small child. I think that it would help.
Oh , for pete's sake..insulting me is the only response ya got?
I understood perfectly what you said...it was sarcasm on my part...obviously you missed that...I didn't read a thing into what you said..I asked you to clarify, and with a skeptical tone ( which , granted is a subtle thing in print..but, being as you keep saying how smart you are , I'd have thought you would pick up on that?)
If you can't reply in an intelligent manner ( without insults and condescension) , then who is behaving like a small child?
First getting to know someone, I would translate as first , second conversation...I think her implied ( though I know this is an assumption) thought was when you first get talking to a guy..and the reason I think this is because most reasonable women, once they know someone and are comfortable, don't have a problem having adult conversations..it's the fact that this is a complete stranger that usually bugs us most..and that it has happened quite a bit with the first contacts, especially on IM.... | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/25/2009 10:03:36 AM |
Can't resist giving you girls the truth on this one:
Do you understand the meaning of the phrase "a few extra pounds"?
Are you taking any medications, and if not should you be?
Sixteen times during the first couple conversations isn't enough, can you ask me again in some way if I'm only out for sex?
Would you like to tell me now about what he did and how badly he hurt you, or will you be mentioning it at random intervals?
Who's truth?
Yes.
No & No
Never asked..I can usually tell pretty easily.
I don't usually talk about exes when first getting to know someone, except in a general way, or if I am asked a specific question..however, even if I did..I am neither bitter or angry about any one guy, or men in general...just have a clear idea of what I find acceptable, and what I don't.
As you obviously can't relate to what I am saying, I can't relate to what you are saying...
Maybe just a male/female experience difference.
Doesn't make either one invalid.... | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/25/2009 7:43:55 PM | | you've hit on another forum post! what guys don't like oral sex. do you girls really get these questions as yo're talking to someone on here? or are you talking about after you've been around together and someone is trying to be sure you're on the same page? this is amazing | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/25/2009 7:47:40 PM | | NightHawk2005 I think you have a good understanding of what a relationship with a woman is at your young age. Your are obviously after a woman's heart not her boobs and I think that a fulfilling and long lasting relationship should not be about sizes of body parts and common interest in fetishes. | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/25/2009 8:02:59 PM |
do you girls really get these questions as yo're talking to someone on here
All the time, especially in first emails or first IM conversations...sometimes, if they are smarter, they may save it for the first meet/date...lol... | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:42:06 AM | ^^^I would agree that it is extremely rare for a guy to ask these questions and be serious.
Most times, he is bragging or gets all excited. Most times you just can't have a serious sexual discussion with a man without him getting visuals in his head.
Maybe in this forum amongst general discussion men can look at it objectively, but in real life? Meh, I've tried and it always ends up the same.
Most men won't take a woman who talks about these things too soon seriously. Ask any woman who has done this.
Now as for a man being interested in someone for their heart vs their boobs. To be honest, I want both. I want my man to want me for everything about me. I want him to be passionate about me and also respect me and want my heart in the package too. I know I'm not wrong when I know men think the same way. As I've said a million times before, nice guys like sex too.
But you all keep thinking you are "with the times" now. Which by the way is not a problem, the problem is most people think they are so "with it", when really they are not. Most of you are still stuck in your parents lives and ideas. I know I am in certain areas - I just don't try to present myself as some revolutionary like some folks on here.
Here's another thing. In participating in some threads of late, I've noticed that men want women to change their dating style in that they want us to initiate contact, pay for our dates etc etc., but they don't want the sexual arena to change. Why is that?
One could say that it is because the media, porn, TV teaches us that men are the sexual "predators" and that women usually know nothing or lie back. I've run into many divorces that were caused due to the woman finally expressing her sexual urges and the man cannot satisfy them because he hasn't bothered researching or even trying to keep their sex life interesting. "I thought she was happy". Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming only the man in this situation, but men need to pay attention to these stories and LEARN.
Or is it simply because most men's ego can't handle the fact that a woman knows more? I can't entirely believe that - is anyone able to admit to their ego?
Until I came on this forum, I was able to trump most men in the sexual knowledge area. (FYI for those of you who don't understand this - sexual knowledge doesn't equate to experience, i.e. amount of sexual encounters)
The thing about change is that not all elements will go our way. So for the women who have been expecting men to pay for them? That's going out the window. For the men who thought women didn't talk about sex and that men were in charge in the bedroom? Also out the window.
We all need to start bending with the change and understanding that we are all having a hard time with it too. | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:07:19 AM | And for those of you who think that ego has nothing to do with it:
An ex of mine had a very low libido. But when he was around his guy friends, he was all talk about sex like he was some expert. Agreeing with his friend about his views, when I damn well knew he was full of shite.
Why do you need to prove you are some expert when you are not? If you really wanted to be, you'd teach yourself. But I guess admitting you don't know something would be weak right?
Most people cannot admit that they don't know something about sex. I see posters on here making fun of others who come on and ask a sexual question. Seems pretty silly to me.
Sorry for the long winded rant, but I am really curious about why people think sex is not important when we hide it so much. | |
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| The Four favourite questions guys love to ask....
Posted: 8/26/2009 6:35:56 AM | I have been asked these questions MANY times on here by **SOME **men and some do not ever ask..
as dating goes along it may come up because we are adults and hay we like sex..and it is part of getting to know each other as well..should men not want to know??It gives them an idea about you .......I feel...and it is not necessarily an expectation..
I find though I may need to devise a set of questiosn for SOME men and I do at times do this..depending on the nature of their corersondance and if I am in the mood to play along with immature BS..
1) what is your mental diagnosis?
2)what sexual dysfuntion do you have which makes you want to make sure I will want have sex a certain way so I dont find out you do have it?
3)can you keep YOUR hands off your self long enough for me to get in there?
4)What kind fo clock do you have?what is your idea of HOURS as in "eating for hours..?" I think men have a different clock
5)Does "go all night" mean you want me to attend to you or are both part of the equation?
6)IS your idea of foreplay..after 4 minutes.."I wanna put it in..I want you so much ...I
need to now"
T | |
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