| Trying to figure it out
Posted: 7/29/2009 6:28:16 AM |
was actually 2 weeks os messaging and 10 days of talking on the phone, plans were made..................if that makes any differance.................
I feel like your laughing at my heartfelt disappointment
Barb, you need to get used to those less sensitive to our feelings of hurt, disappointment, and whatever we are feeling. I find so many people in the forums that have nothing better to do then to try to put us down, make jokes, off topic snide remarks and worse. I'm sorry this happened to you. Stay here long enough, it will probably happen again. I read your profile. All I can say is it's his loss. You are vibrant, attractive and worth more then someone so insensitive( like your truck driver) Forget it and wait for someone better. I wish you luck. | |
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| Trying to figure it out
Posted: 7/29/2009 6:38:10 AM | barb try not to get into the mode of letting your expectations get ahead of you.
Know what I mean?
Talking to someone is just that and until you actually meet, don't hold out any high expectations......or at least try not to build them up too awfully much in your mind, because you will end up feeling "deflated" as you said.
I don' t know what's up with him deleting your message unread, could be a mistake or perhaps not, who knows. He only just got back into town, give it a little time.
He knows how to get ahold of you so if he doesn't then.........let it go, it's not worth beating yourself up over. It does suck but it's the hazard here. If you are too emotional perhaps you are not ready to date? I would step back and consider that for a moment if that's the case. Don't take it personally. And some people talk a good game too try not to be blinded by the light as is were.
Don't let him rent space in your head.....at least not for too long.
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| Trying to figure it out
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:58:57 AM | I think he's married, but it sounds like you still are too....so.....maybe you should both re-think what it is you're up to?
You shouldn't date anyone until your divorce has been finalized and over for one year.
That's my opinion. | |
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| Trying to figure it out
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:19:48 AM | Pardon?? I most certainly was NOT laughing at you .. there was Nothing in your original post that I found the least bit 'funny'
And That was what I was responding to - Your original post:
I just spent an entire week talking to a truck driver who was on the road.
He was funny, witty, and seemed like a nice guy. I thought we had a good connection and was looking forward to meeting him. We exchanged pics, talked 3 or 4 times a day.
He got back in town yesterday, and has completely blown me off.
I feel deflated...........maybe I read to much into the whole thing.
I have been married for 18 years, separated for 1 1/2 years........messy, financial divorce, my decision.
I just got back in the dating scene, and now I remember how much it sucked.........lol
I am taking it personally, maybe because I am too emotional.
If you meant 10 days or 2 weeks or that you'd (both) made plans, etc etc .. then perhaps you should have said so. Seriously - can't you see how your original post 'sounds'??? You were the one that commented about an entire week ..
oh never mind ..
Just have to say this - I do NOT laugh at peoples pain. I 'do' on occasion roll my eyes when I think a person is being .. cough .. unreasonable, as I'm sure some have and will roll their eyes at me.. whatever ..
It is important to remember when you post in these forums that people from all over the world can and will read and respond to your post - and 'we' will respond based on what you post (ie: an entire week .. etc.) .. and we will respond based on our own selves, our situations, experiences, our very diverse opinions.
That said - I still think it is ... 'a bit much' ... to get all worked up over someone you've not met, who you've only been chatting with for a week - Or two. Even if you had met =- that is still Not enough time to "know" each other, let alone have 'expectations'.
Als0 - If he's a trucker who's been on the road for all that time - he might just need a break. Might need to relax . .. Might have a wife .. Might have a g/f .. Might have several! ..
When I said "Good Luck" - I meant it. If I was laughing at you - you'd have seen a bunch of these:  or these: 
Let me say it again: Good Luck! | |
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| Trying to figure it out
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:59:00 AM | OP: I admire you and all the other people looking to date on this website: Most of you have a perspective and maturity that I could only aspire to emulate if I were dating again.
By the way, these fora are too addictive! | |
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| Trying to figure it out
Posted: 7/29/2009 6:03:55 PM | BARBSHACK48=
It was actually 2 weeks os messaging and 10 days of talking on the phone, plans were made..................if that makes any differance.................
==========================================================
It doesn't matter if it was 2 weeks or 2 months of chatting on the phone. Plans were made, so what?
Sorry to be so tough, but I was stood up 2x in one month.
As other's have said, 'DON'T BELIEVE anything some person has told you until you meet them in person and get to know them'.
Plans, shmans!!!
You'll learn quick hopefully. | |
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| Trying to figure it out
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:12:24 PM | barb, sorry you had to go thru that. i think that when you talk to someone on phone without meeting him yet, you are just talking, it's not like you are having a relationship with him already. that's in the future when you finaly meet physically in person and things click.
also, i would pay attention to 'brown eyed woman's post, she's right on.
i've never gone thru what you're going thru, but you probably need some support from friends and family. get close to them if you can.
and think of positive thoughts, that good things will happen eventually | |
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| Trying to figure it out
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:41:07 PM | Your flaw is in being too quick to attach, you talked for a week, to a stanger, who may be married, or a murder, or a 12 year old boy...you can't know. Sure you liked him but you don't know him and never should have emotionally gone past thinking he might me fun to get to know. Don't invest in thin air, and yes we are all (those of us who are mentally stable) able to control how far off the deep end we go, so no excuses  don't be so ready & willing to fantasize your life away and then feel hurt & cheated when the fantasy didn't work out. Take your time and don't think an interesting guy is your future, just get to know men and take how they behave as who they seriously are. As in this man, he's not contacted you, he's used your time by lying while he was on the road and wanted what ever you two talked about, but now you know better than to think of him as dating material. Do not make this into a big hurtful rejection thing, he was a butt who wasted your time, good ridence, forget it and move on. Don't let how others misbehave reflect how you see your self-worth, this man's actions are not in any way some validation for or against you, he's just a guy who is off your list of dateables, don't give him a second thought. | |
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| Trying to figure it out
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:14:03 PM | This statement is tiring, I was married 17 years and have been seperated going on 3 years, I can't afford the divorce and have stated in another post what it entails for me to do so (lean on my house) so since he is the one with the money I have no choice but to wait tll he decides to file for it, now I have issues that I am dealing with so I dont think its fair in my case to drag someone into my STUFF right now, but seperated does not mean roll over and die till you get the divorce, you left the person for a reason and would not go back no matter what so what the hel* is the difference. As long as you are up front with whom ever you meet and tell them whats going on there should not be a problem, everyone is so quick to judge and throw that stupid comment. If I met someone that truly cared and knew all that I have been through and would be willing to stick it out because they cared that much it shouldn't matter whether I am seperated or divorced!!!!
============================================================Yup.... Sounds too much like a messy situation.... Did you bring this up in conversation. If so maybe he decided it was just too messy... didn't want to get in the middle. Juat my input? HelI who knows.... Just move on.
Oh one more thing.... "can't afford" " Lean on house" all sounds like excuses. Sell the house split the money.Pay for the divirce. Then come back to POF as a single lady with out all that baggage. Good Luck... " he's the one with all the money, LET HIM PAY" Sounds like you expect THE MAN TO PAY,PAY,and pay some more. Do you work? Maybe you could get a second job to fund the divorce. Yup just sounds too messy. | |
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| Trying to figure it out
Posted: 7/30/2009 2:56:50 AM | That was someone else's story.........no I didn't bring it up, but it says separated on my profile. I had drinks, by the pool with the girls on my day off, I feel much better now.
He is history............I am over it..........I just hate jerks that are not man enough to man up. | |
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| Trying to figure it out
Posted: 7/31/2009 4:45:01 AM | | Sorry you had to go thru all that. It just gives Guys that are sincere in meeting a good woman as yourself a very hard long road to travel. Glad to see you had drinks with the girls and put it all behind you. | |
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| Trying to figure it out
Posted: 7/31/2009 5:01:52 PM | DOGSLIFE2LIVE001=
now i do like message 9 even if what a #4 is eludes me(i just pray it is not perverted)!
#4 is self pleasuring. | |
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| Trying to figure it out
Posted: 10/27/2009 3:43:36 PM | | I had the same things happend to me. A guy I was seeing a guy will not respond to my messges, emails. He emiled a breif "hi there." I am like you I trust people since I am trustworthy too. I try not to be pejudgemnetal about why is behavior was like this. All I can say if these men are not interested in us any more its their lost. We have the best quailties to men of being trusting , sincere, and for being real! | |
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