| | Do u believe in love at first sight???Page 8 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) |
In the end, things just didn't work out, but we never forgot each other. 35 years later through the miracle of the internet, we reconnected. I think of her as the great love of my life, but you get to a certain age, lives just get so complicated
This is what I keep hearing about these love at first sight stories, that "in the end"... " it didn't work out, we were not meant for each other, it got complicated."
So do I believe in love at first sight?
Nope.
After all the chemical infatuation is gone, then is when you get to be real with a person.
Love takes work. | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/4/2012 1:07:26 PM | Maybe someone needs to offer some definition of this supposed "Love at first sight"...
Because I keep hearing over and over, from the very people who say they "believe" in it that, "it didn't work out..." or "it happens many times for me" (implying at least more than once).
I would posit that what people describe as "love at first sight" is not "love" in any way or sense beyond the silly endorphin rush that Disney called "twitterpated" in "Bambi."
I think Outmind gets it exactly right when he says:
"Love takes work." | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/4/2012 1:28:15 PM | Let's define "Love at first sight," shall we.
For a girl, I'd be a guy who:
(1) Is tall
(2) Is hot/sexy
(3) Has hair
(4) Is Jacked
For a guy, I'd be a girl who:
(1) Busty
(2) Hot/Sexy
(3) Perfect Hip to Waist Ratio
(4) Athletic
Yes, it's certainly possible. I would say 1 in 350 people you could fall for at first sight. | |
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ito902
| | Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 178 | |
| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/4/2012 2:10:33 PM | No. I do not. I believe in attraction on site. Love is a word thrown around too lightly, and too many people have to many meanings for love. Love is a point of view. And in my point of view, Love goes entirely hand in hand with trust, loyalty, and respect. All are the things that make love and relationships work. These things are not earned on a first meet basis. If they are, then these things have absolutely no meaning.
Jay. | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/4/2012 2:28:08 PM |
Let's define "Love at first sight," shall we.
For a girl, I'd be a guy who:
(1) Is tall
(2) Is hot/sexy
(3) Has hair
(4) Is Jacked
For a guy, I'd be a girl who:
(1) Busty
(2) Hot/Sexy
(3) Perfect Hip to Waist Ratio
(4) Athletic
Yes, it's certainly possible. I would say 1 in 350 people you could fall for at first sight.
All you did was define some really superficial attractors that would (presumably) give you a hard-on... | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/7/2012 9:42:04 PM | No, definitely not.
Lust at first sight...? As others have said.. sure. Love may come a bit further into the lusty stuff, but no such thing as love at first site. That's infatuation, at best... lust for certain. | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/7/2012 10:57:43 PM | | I met a guy last. Night at a POF singles nite, the moment we saw each other we could not take out eyes off each other..... Deffo a chemistry there, can't get him out of my mind... We did speak but due to seeing each other in a busy pub and having to go, we lost site of each. Other and I can't remember his name..only that he came from chippenham and had amazing sexy eyes...I'm. Gutted. :-( I don't know what the feeling was I felt butits pretty dam good, butterflies wen he looked at me ..lush | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/7/2012 11:16:23 PM | I think some people are more prone to believing in love at first sight. Remember Peppy LePeu? He was always chasing cats around, with hearts hanging over his head.
But strong mutual attraction can be pretty darn compelling and easily confused with love. If it does develop into deep abiding love, I can see how people can look back and say "it was love at first sight." If it doesn't last, they may say "it just wasn't meant to be." I have met at least a couple of men over my life that I felt magnetically drawn to. I remember how strong the pull was--someone said it is related to hormones and finding mates. I can totally believe it. | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/8/2012 2:03:20 AM | I have fallen in love with a short guy that I never would have considered normally
but he already had a live in lover and I didnt want to interfere with that so I ended it.
I also didnt really want him as a father for any potential children so why I felt such love for him Idont know. But it hurt for years. | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/8/2012 2:04:50 AM | hopeneveretc
You are right it was lust he was describing and some ideal woman which in real life he may not fall in love with. | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/8/2012 2:57:14 AM | | I don't believe in love at first sight, but can tell you, this lust at first sight stinks :P Don't know how he felt but man those blue eyes and smile melted me, I think he felt a bit, because he kept asking how a guy like him can tame a wild girl like me, and of course, I blew it, my friends saw I was flirting and kept giving me shit, then he went and kissed me and I actually LET him, and then one of my friends comes over, and asks if they can cut in and drug me off, this was around last call, I went to find him, and he vanished in the crowd of people leaving the bar (no I wasn't drunk, I don't drink for hours before last call) now I get to think of a cute as hell guy that I didn't get his number. The attraction was there before the kiss, but man that kiss, he killed me with that. | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/8/2012 5:23:20 AM | | All you naysayers may never feel it, but if you ever do, then you'll understand. It was love at first sight with my late wife and I and I wouldn't be here now if the Lord didn't need more than I. But just because it was love at first sight, doesn't mean you don't have to work to keep it fresh, or there won't be rough patches. | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/8/2012 3:17:10 PM | yes I believe in love at first sight.
I had sworn off relationships when this happened.
I saw a lady and it felt like my heart stopped beating my first thought was I know this lady I could spend the rest of my life with her. I had only noticed her face, for a few seconds, it struck me as beautiful and actually would not be somone I would approach as they were in my view way out of my league and as it happens they were on holiday.
I met her again when I was on holiday and we did get together while I remained on holiday, I wanted to marry her but knew she would reject this as we had only known each other for a short while.
Now I know people will dispute what I am saying but I know what I felt and everything about this relationship felt right, it felt like we should be together, it felt like nothing could go wrong, it felt like I had known this person for a long time and then I had to return home.
So yes I believe in love at first sight but making things work is a whole other story. | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/8/2012 7:27:25 PM | For me, NO. My reason is simply because I don't believe you can love someone without knowing them, therefore loving someone after only seeing them is not possible. I have had an extremely strong physical attraction to someone and after getting to know her, fell in love with her, but technically it still wasn't love at first sight, in the literal sense.
My 2 cents. | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/8/2012 8:04:56 PM | | If I were writing a screenplay for a popular cult movie that I wanted lots and lots of people to pay money to see and go on and on about and buy t-shirts and set up fan groups for and pine away after the main characters.. then yep, I believe in love at first site... so would my characters and everyone who saw my movie!! but uh... otherwise, my answer would have to be a no... sorry. I think it is sheer stupidity. | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/8/2012 8:13:58 PM | If you're a believer in Love at First Sight, it's just as likely you might end up having love at first sight with a married person or with someone who's in a relationship. Is your love at first sight so strong, that you would try to break up his/her marriage or relationship so that you can pursue the dream girl/guy? How would you know if other person feels the same way about you? Maybe the person you fell in love with thinks you're an arsehole and would never date you.
If you don't go after the person you felt so deeply for because the person was taken by someone else, would you ever be able to love anyone else, or would you remain single and celibate forever while hoping the love of your life at some point becomes single? If the person becomes single in 50 or 60 years because their spouse passed away, would you still have love at first sight with an 85 year old person? | |
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| Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 4/8/2012 8:50:16 PM |
OP: I am just courious~~~~~Have any of you ever experienced "LOVE at first sight"??
The moment when you met someone or saw someone from a distance.
Maybe you saw this person on the train,in a pub, at the store and just couldn't get them out of your mind??
You know what I mean ~when they look like they have the "whole package" that we invision is everything we ever dreamed of having??
If you have experienced this moment ~what took place if anything??
Yes. Twice. Almost 35 years apart.
But first I will define what I think of as “love at first sight”, which is not the lovey-dovey saccharine feeling that you’ll always be together, never fight, and live happily ever after. To me “love at first sight” is, for want of a better word, a recognition. It’s not just how that person looks (although physical attraction is a part, but not the entirety). It’s not even wanting to be physical with them. It’s more like déjà vu. It’s an immediate comfort in his presence. It’s willing to be open and vulnerable.
For those who say “love” requires time, knowledge, and experience of the other and until that time it is mere lust or infatuation, I offer this to think about –
But the truth seems to be that it is those of too little imagination who are most likely to confuse the attractions of the present with the foundations of love. Love is, in large part, imagination – fantasies about a future together, visions of a kiss, a conversation, a lifelong adventure. .... What makes love such a “deep” experience does not depend upon knowledge of the other (which may be minimal) but rather what we dig up from the depth of ourselves. The exhilaration that accompanies falling in love is only half the discovery of one’s lover; the other half is a (re-) discovery of oneself. About Love by Robert Solomon, PP. 148-9.
My first was the first day of highschool. I was 15, he was 16, and we had debate class together. It took me about a week or two to devise a pseudo-subtle way to get him alone away from school (‘could you help me research at the library?’) after which we went to the park across the street, sat on the swings and talked for a few hours. And we were mostly inseparable for the next 3.5 years when the temptations of college on opposite sides of the U.S. got to be too much. We broke up. I married someone I was infatuated with. He married someone who could have been my twin. At his funeral 30 years later our friends were still wondering how we could have broken up.
Another thing I don't understand about people who are believers in love at first sight is: you see someone and you feel it's instant love within a fraction of a second. Realistically, what are the odds that he/she looks over at you and has the same feelings about you at the exact same time?
My first experience of love at first sight turned out to be reciprocal – and as a fragile-ego’d teenager that was a very good thing. However, OP’s question is whether ‘we’ the people posting felt love at first sight. That’s independent of whether the other person reciprocated. My feelings are mine. They are not contingent on the other person reciprocating or validating. If ‘he’ doesn’t reciprocate, that only makes me feel an additional emotion such as sad, or embarrassed, or frustrated but it doesn’t turn what I call ‘love’ into ‘not love’.
Another Robert Solomon quote on point..
...one might take our earlier insistence on the reciprocity of love as evidence that, because it is unreciprocated, unrequited love cannot be love. But reciprocation of love is a demand of love, not a criterion for whether it is love, and one can, obviously, make this demand without its being fulfilled. (“Going fishing” is defined as “trying to catch a fish,” but this doesn’t mean that the fish are cooperative.) The requirement is only that love as such desires its return, that any attitude of admiration, respect or even worship that does not include this desire cannot be counted as love. About Love p. 84
Which is my second experience. I saw a picture next to a post in the forums and it was like being struck dumb. I don’t remember reading the post. Not sure that I did read it. I flipped to his profile to see who was behind that picture. Unfortunately he was 3,000 miles away so I just sent a compliment on his profile and didn’t expect anything back. But he did respond and a few days later we met face-to-face. For the next 2.5 years we talked almost daily and frequently crossed the country to get together. Until that last conversation when he referred to his ex (bat-shit crazy) wife as the love of his life and that he never loved me “deeply” (whatever that means). So, yah, I feel sad, hurt, humiliated, and all the other emotions one feels when losing someone dear to them. But that he does not reciprocate does not negate that I loved him at first sight, and still do.
Even though neither ‘love at first sight’ lasted ‘forever’, they give me hope. Hope that the déjà vu will happen again and maybe next time it will last. | |
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