| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/4/2009 12:57:22 AM | | No - never, big surprise - once I got past 20 odd years I was thinking silver anniversary etc. Having said that, being single is certainly not the worst thing that could have happened. I have met a lot of nice people and made a lot of new friends. It doesn't compensate for having someone special in my life. I haven't got cynical or despairing yet and I would have to say that 90% of the days are good and full - don't think I could always say that when I was married. This is the first period in my life where I've had the house to myself, no practical or financial responsibilities for others (kids have grown), so I think it's actually beneficial to have had some single time befpre Mr Right comes along. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/4/2009 12:31:14 PM | I never thought I would be single at this stage of the game. I was living with a man when I was 16, married by 18. One day he drops me off at work , says he's done.
Here I am never been on a date, don't know where to start. I figured I'd try this.
I always thought I'd be one of those old married couples and hope to find a special person to grow old with later on in life. I don't think I want to get married again though. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:34:33 PM | I don't think anyone does. When I was out of college I thought I would be married in 4 years and with kids soon after that. Fast forward to today and I wonder where all the time went. Even though I was close to marriage two times... in the end I have not found a woman that we have good chemistry as best friends and lovers.
With the age of internet dating, people often look at a picture or a few lines and make a decision. Typically an uneducated decision. As most people know the best way to make a decision of who is on the other side of the internet connection; is a face to face meet-up. At that time chemistry is determined. However, I am amazed on how many people never give the other person the opportunity to do that. I call it the internet phenomenon. Think of all the dates you have been on before internet dating... I bet most of them are from an eye to eye attraction rather than a "resume" and picture shopping experience. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:54:50 PM | | No I didn't; however, I'm not in a rush to get hitched again. I want to take my time and get to know the person while enjoying the sights and sounds of Chicago. There's so much that has changed while I was away, and exploring it would be much more fun with a partner. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:57:58 PM | | Did I expect to be single at this stage in life? Expect it? I've worked very hard at staying single this long. Not everyone is meant to be married. So was I expecting it - I've been praying to remain single since I was 18. Why is being single and happy such a difficult concept to grasp? | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:11:43 PM | "To all those between 30-40 do you think you ever be in a relationship again?"
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It depends on what you mean by "again." So far I haven't found "HER" yet in my life but I do see a lot of women, i.e., I keep dating. Sometimes a relationship lasts a week or two, sometimes a month or longer. It depends on what you're looking for. Every relationship starts from the same point so to speak - you date and keep dating until you become exclusive. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/12/2009 7:02:34 PM |
Being single in your 30s is okay. There is still hope for you. You still have some of your youth to cling to. It is still possible to find a good, suitable match. If you are 40 and above, you are pretty much screwed, unless you are a dude with a lot of money or a really hot milfy chick.
Well thanks a lot, looks like I am pretty much screwed then.
No I did not really expect to be alone, and I am not sure it really is entirely about the choices we make either, given that a relationship takes two people. If the other person makes the choice to leave the relationship there is not much of my choice in that.
As for being alone the rest of my life, just see the above quote, I don't want to be but it doesn't look like I will have many options. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/12/2009 7:08:56 PM | He** no!! I didn't expect to be single. I lost the loving feeling for a coupla years after my divorce that was brought on by a cheating wife. Leaves a bit of a sour taste in your mouth, but you brush yourself off and continue on. I feel better to have gotten through the last coupla years, and have found a new resolve to find LOVE once again. It is a daunting task,but not one I think is out of my reach. If I am single when I'm 45 I would say that it would be a bit dissappointing ,but not the end of the world. Keep on Fishing,and you may just find your catch. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/12/2009 7:47:13 PM | I'm 37 but feel I'm qualified to respond.
No, I didn't expect to be single this long. However, I've had three long term relationships that I grew out of. (or we both did). Fortunately I'm very close to the longest relationship... 9 years of friendship shouldn't be thrown away.
And here I am, 37, single, finally in a career I love and wondering what my next move in love will be. But I don't feel like a failure and you shouldn't either. Being married and getting a divorce would be much worse, in my opinion, and I know so many people who married young and are no longer together that I'm actually glad I never did that. I feel I am finally who I am in total and any relationship that comes along now will be with the real me. If no one finds me attractive, so be it... it's better to love yourself and be loved by people who care for you than to only want a "relationship". | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/17/2009 4:45:45 AM | | no i didnt expect to be single and a single dad to boot. would never have seen myself like this 3 or 4 years ago. although now i wouldnt have it any other way the rewards for all the hard work i put in with my daughter far outweigh the woman in my life that is def missing. i am happy and finding a good woman to share everything with inc my daughter as she grows would be the icing on the cake. but as we all know not all of us get that luxury in our lives relationships are like a lottery sometimes no matter how much time, effort and money you throw at it sometimes it just dont work. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/18/2009 10:03:01 AM | I really didn't put too much thought into it, until I turned 40. Then I realized I was getting older, and getting older alone, and suddenly this became undesirable.
Even God said "it is not good for the man (or the woman) to be alone...I will make for him therefore a help mate". In order to be given a good help mate, I must BE a good help mate, so thus begins the neverending dance of finding out what each woman wants. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/18/2009 6:33:18 PM | I did not expect to be single at this point in my life either. Someone stated that it was by choice we are single this "late" in our lives. In some cases yes, in others, absolutely NOT!
For example, Does a person choose to have thier mates cheat on them and destroy thier relationships? Does a person choose to be abused and/or beaten until they are black and blue?
Life happens, circumstances happen, Change happens. It's a matter of how people DEAL with thier lives.
It's NEVER too late! I'll be one of the First to show what 40 really means; It means NOT being afraid of being yourself and having the guts to overcome adversity! | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/18/2009 9:59:29 PM | | Oh God No. I don't understand it. I have been in good relationships that were fulfilling, but something always happened that made me change my mind. My last guy made work his first priority, then came his very needy 9+ siblings, then came me. I didn't think that 3rd place good enough so I was Out!! Unless I was supposed to just deal with it? | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/26/2009 11:52:26 AM | Never thought i would still be single at almost 40. I also never thought it would be so hard to find someone sincere,trustworthy,considerate,thoughtful,emotionally secure,financialy independant, not have 18 kids and counting,and have good morals family values and integrity.
So if i'm still single then either that woman does not exist or i just didn't settle to be the next contestant on Jerry Springer waiting for paternity results wearing a grill,and pulling up my pants off the floor, looking at women saying " Sup shorty? wanna kick it old school wit me? holla at cha boyeeeeeeeee"
But i digress........... | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/28/2009 1:36:58 PM | To be honest I never really thought about it.
I was always driven by my career (which I'm disillusioned with at the moment), my Family and my friends.
Always too busy to think long term about my Love Life. Even when I was with former girl friends. And with most of them I didn't see a future in it anyway, so yeah, I really never thought about it to be honest.
Anyway, now I'm at this point, 36 and single, I'm just more concerned with trying to reinvent myself at the moment.
Finding Love is great an' all... But if you're not really happy with your Life as it currently stands, then perhaps not even Love is enough to make you happy. I think that's why some people seek out Love. They're not happy with their lives so, rather than try to fix it themselves, they seek out someone who can "fix" their lives for them.
But saying that, I also understand that Love can act like a catalyst, enabling someone to really appreciate their Life all over again and empowering them to make positive changes to ensure that it remains so.
This is perhaps rare… But I know it does happen.
I have to admit though, the clock is ticking and it is on my mind... I'd be lying if I said otherwise. But sorting myself out right now takes precedence above all else.
However, if a really good opportunity for Love did come my way, I’d be a right fool if I did not grab it with both hands! | |
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