| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/28/2009 2:22:47 PM |
To all those between 30-40 do you think you ever be in a relationship again?
Yes I am hoping I will be in a relationship again otherwise why would I be on pof!
If you are still single by the time you are 45 will you wonder what happened?
I don't know until I get there. Also you never know what life is going to throw at you. Best thing is go with the flow & enjoy life as much as possible. Being with someone isn't the be all and end all. I'd rather be happily single than be with someone who wasn't right for me. It would be great to have the fairy tale & meet the one to live happily ever after with. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/28/2009 6:44:45 PM | All my friends ask me this (some of them divorce multible times)
Why are you still single ? Um cuz I run too fast to get caught ? Either that or I am too short. In any case, I am a career bachelor, benefits are great, travel is awesome, baggage fits in the over head bin. Its all in your attitude. There are scores of men in the world DYING to be free. cheer up, you're already there. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/28/2009 10:21:39 PM | I except to be single for a lonnngggg time, lol seems all the good ladies that I like, are already taken, or taken but want to cheat, I wont have nothing to do with someone thats married.  | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/29/2009 1:11:22 PM | | Having married the first man I dated, lived with him for 15 years, was married 12 didn't think I would date again. have had two relationships both with men with kids, last one lasted three years. Due to my insistence that the kids should all be treated the same and we should spend time together there are now four unhappy kids from the broken relationship, my two and his two. Realistically I think I am the type of woman no man will look at long term so yes I expect to stay single. I would love to love and be loved but doubt it will happen. So will make friends throughout life and yes probably wonder what happened in 10years time. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/29/2009 4:47:12 PM | I never expected to remarry or share my future with anyone else at all. I had/have plans and situation that made it unrealistic. I believe sexual love is temporal, so my relationships, however exclusive, were never thought of as forever after. My daughter and her friend decorated my car one day as a gag- just married. I came down to the apartment parking lot with my neighbors congratulating me. I told them if I ever got remarried I had "lost my mind". Two months later, after fifteen years divorced, rarely single and still on good terms with the 3 BF's I had in that time, (all LTR's) I was planning my second wedding with a long time just friend, and three months later, celebrating it. Telling my exbf's, especially the on and off of 14 years, was not easy, but at least two had seen it coming because they knew of my affection for my now husband. The long-time on again off again still won't speak to me.
I always say, don't plan, just prepare for multiple outcomes. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/29/2009 5:05:10 PM | Yes I did...since my 20's I knew I was an animal that could not be tamed.
There are pros and cons to being single. Being a career bachelor has enormous benefits. If I had a dime for each time a married man told me how much they envied my lifestyle and freedom, well, I'd have a heck of alot of dimes! I look at being single as an opportunity to do what I want, when I want, and with who I want to do it with,rather than seeing it as a burden or a reflection of the type of person I am.
I do miss the companionship, warmth, and emotional security that comes with a long term relationship at times | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/29/2009 6:32:04 PM | | Hard to say about if I was expecting to be single after 30. When I was young, I always thought that I would had been married by the time I was 26. When I did get married at 22, I thought that "this was it". When my marrige was over a year later, I thoguht that maybe I'll still find someone before I'm 26. Once I got past the age of 26, I stopped trying. Heck I just got out of a 3 year realtionship and now I'm single again. The way things are going, it won't suprise me anymore if I'm over 40 and still single. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:39:23 PM | | Single is awesome.. Have been in some great relationships and some sucky ones.. none of them were exactly what I was looking for. I don't stress over being single,instead I use the spare time to do things I have always wanted to do,broaden my horizons as far as knowledge and just enjoy life.. I may or may not meet the "love" of my life.. If I do she is more than welcome to walk with me on my journey,if not.. oh well.. I'd much rather be single and alone then with a loser and lonely. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/13/2009 5:49:12 AM |
to all my fellow 40 year old and above did you expect to be single still?
Heck no!! I never would have guessed id still be single at age 43 ~ heck almost 44 really! Like another poster....at this point i do see myself being single still at the age of 65. I think im defective! lolol | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:29:00 AM | | I believe there is a higher power that has a plan for all of us. Perhaps you where meant to be or do something else and your fighting it. Or perhaps in your pursuit of being someone or doing something great you will find that true love. Stop fighting /questioning the plan. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:22:23 PM | When I was a teenager, I just assumed that I would someday be married and have kids. I never put a specific time as to when I would do these things. Now that I am about to turn 36, I still expect that someday I will get married. Having kids will depend upon to whom I end up married. However, I don't need to get married to be happy, and if I never marry, I will not consider my life to be a disaster.
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:48:25 PM | "I think expecting to be single or not single is the real issue.
Some times things don't always turn out as expected. However it's no reason to sell yourself or anyone else short. Don't settle for anything less than what you truly desire."
I agree GirlInLust, but I think that's why so many of us are still single as we get older. The, 'don't settle' part of your statement is what's holding us back, as well it should. In a little over a year I'll be 40 and likely still single, the reason being is I won't settle. And while I would love to have someone in my life to share, I won't settle for someone who will drag my life down, emotionally, physically, or financially.
I don't date just for the sake of dating, in fact I haven't had a date in years simply because I'm not liking what I'm finding out there in my age group. We're all older, and some of us are a little less attractive than we were 15 years ago, but both men and women still seem to be holding out for 20-something looks while expecting 40-something accomplishments in the same package. We want the other party to have no baggage, something impossible at this stage of life, and we've all had our share of bad relationships that affect our judgement in future ones. It's a constant conflict of interests.
I've known people who settled because they were scared of turning 30, 40, etc and being alone. In the end, most of them lost out on other opportunities along with their financial and emotional stability. I won't be one of them. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:31:03 PM | I expected a lot of things to be different by the time I got to my 30's, but life happens. I guess I just haven't found the person I'm looking for. I've had chances to settle, but I always opted not to because it wouldn't have been fair to myself or the other person.
I've always been comfortable being single, though. I never had the burning need for a relationship, but I was always open to one. Maybe that's why I stay single - a lot of people seem to have this need to be in relationships and will pair up with whoever expresses interest. I was never one of those people, so maybe I've missed my window of opportunity. Regardless, I'm in a good place in my life and am ready to meet the right person were she to come along. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:51:03 PM | | No I never expected it. But someone told me once that I might never get married. Whenever it involves another person, you really have no control over what someone else will do. I only have control over what I do and how I feel. I am happily single; a relationship would be nice, but if I never attain one, I will continue to live my life the way I want and do the things I want to do, regardless. If it's not in the stars for me to be in a relationship right now, or ever, then so be it. Everything happens for a reason. I will still live my life the best way I can. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/13/2009 11:24:43 PM | | op, my grandmother found 2 hotties after my grandfather died. they were her age but good looking for their ages as was she. one guy lasted 5 yrs until he passed away. within a year, she had the other one...until he passed away 13 yrs later. she was in her 60's when my grandfather died. men always liked her...when she was young...when she was old...there was just something about her...so don't give up, hun! | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/15/2009 3:42:06 PM | No, I expected to be married by the time I was 24. Then again at 33 and again at 34.
Then I just sort of sunk into a black tunnel of dispair about dating and marriage. Just now climbing out of it slowly at 42. It's been a long hard road and I never wanted to be without that special someone. I certainly don't think it's wrong to try....but I have issues to deal with that have hindered me. It's not that I'm a bad guy....I've just spent far too long accepting a warm freindship from a woman who I can't marry but who has been unable to encourage me. Call it childish....and maybe it is.....I'm coming to grips with it albiet there's a certain comfort in having someone who likes you, needs you to a certain degree , but in all other ways is unavailiable to you. I think they call it co-dependency but certainly there are degrees of this condition and I've seen extreme examples of it.....but even though it is a bit stiffling to me....it isn't pathalogical like in others I've seen.
I think this might be more common than most realize....call it the surrogate family syndrom...instead of making your own family...you adopt freinds of the opposite sex as a substitute when dating has just been too hard or you have lost the spark to continue along those lines....then you just settle in to a situation while not optimum....gives you some semblance of the family life you see as out of reach.
Me...I just haven't realy experience true romance or mutual tender love from any woman. Been close to marriage twice....but both were not for me and none could be considered all that warm with only "pretended" romance....going through the motions because of personal and extra-personal-societal expectations. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/15/2009 4:53:10 PM | No....I did not expect to be single at this point in my life..... I thought I would still be married to the love of my life..... I had a few other dreams I thought would happen as well, but it didn't turn out that way.
This is most definitely not to say that my life has not been blessed in spite of what didn't happen, or that I haven't enjoyed, or that I didn't take full advantage of the options that were thrown my way. It's definitely been an "E Ticket"........
I will always know though that whatever life I led up to this point was really a "Plan B"..... I've always been good at having plan B's. Failing to not have them would have amounted to my spirit literally dying a slow death. But it was a Plan B nonetheless.
I'm hoping that the life I view as a Plan B, will have ultimately, in God's eyes, been his Plan A all along....and that maybe......juuuuuuuust maybe....he's got somebody in store for me who might make me realize that all the Plan B's were finally worth it in the end. I'm hoping.... But if it's not that way....then I can never complain about my Plan B. Because most never get a chance to HAVE a Plan B....... | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/15/2009 7:00:33 PM | | i have my health...i have friends and family...it is okay to be single and happy...when it is time for me to be with somebody it will happen...god has a plan for me | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/20/2009 11:51:45 AM | Not really but if I take in consideration that I was in my early 30s when I got married - (never felt urge or society pressure to be one of my married friends) - I suppose ... in my case ... journey is just not plain & simple for feeling and being "hot to trot"  | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/23/2009 12:57:14 PM | No, I never would have imagined when I was in my early 20's that I would be a struggling single mom by the age of 43, or that by that age I would have 5 kids ranging from ages 20 to 2. It is what it is though, and I sometimes wonder if being single is the way I was meant to be. If so, I'm ok with that for now.
It feels odd to even call it dating now. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/23/2009 1:04:54 PM | | Single, yes. No prospects? Nah- it took me ten years to find someone decent I could be honest and fun with. Keep fishing- be quick to throw back the non-keepers- men will tend to hold on just for the sex- its really not worth it if you are looking to settle down (but is fun...dang im bad) | |
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