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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/24/2009 3:09:04 PM | | I did expected it, since I was never able to attract any girl/woman in my life, and I am still not expecting finding anyone, why would anything change now that I am 41 | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/24/2009 3:35:55 PM | If you had told me 5 years ago that I would be divorced, custodial parent of three teenagers and young adults, homeowner with a new career and entering the world of dating again, I'd ahve told you you were off your rocker... (believe till death do us part should mean something)..
but I can honestly say even though I didn't choose the divorce I have never ever been happier, even though I am renavigating the world of dating (slowly).
If I am still single by the time I am 45 I will still be happy; I honestly love life; and though I ultimately am built for being half of a couple; I'm very content as a single, and have no problem with it whatsoever. (my daughter, on teh other hand, is downright harping on me to choose someone, she keeps accusing me of pushing people away; I thought people's kids want divorced parents to stay single forever and cloister themselves; apparently not though... )
It's all good though, single or couple. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/26/2009 9:08:45 PM | | I didn't expect to be single at this point in my life, but frankly, I'm loving it. I love my independence and know that I put my dreams on hold in my 20s because of my marriage. I do expect that I will eventually settle down again. Maybe in another 5-10 years. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/26/2009 11:07:49 PM | | I never thought I would be 41 and still single. I've kind of become resigned to it but it does feel weird, especially in a large workplace where I see so many younger people with pictures of spouses and kids on their desks. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/1/2009 8:17:03 PM | | nah what i've learned is that something comes along, just not in the time you probably want it to. things are harder at 40 because so many people have this enormous baggage they carry and frankly, i've run out of patience to deal with bull brought to my front door anymore. in your twenties and thirties as a guy you're like i can take it if i can just get in her pants. at 40, you're willing to wait and watch football, usually your job is stressful, you have kids and most out there are a little wacky. you just have to be more patient. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/15/2009 7:48:46 AM | I never planned on still being single at 46, but I'm pretty content and have peace and happiness. I never wanted children and I never could picture myself married. I love sex, so the social pressure to marry was evident. For quite a few years I bought into that and it made me pretty unhappy. Now I realize that a grown woman doesn't owe anyone else an explanation about her private life. I'm not cheating on anyone or having illegitimate children. I don't suffer the all the stresses of children and marriage and know it has kept me younger. I thought I wanted to be married, but I was miserable, buying into the idea of that's what a nice girl does. I was also dating men that were unavailable for one or many reasons - turns out that was on purpose. I see people who have married and divorced several times as being not happy with themselves and needing validation from another. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/23/2009 11:50:14 AM | | I don't think I ever questioned myself about that, I always believed, because I was raised that way, that was normal to grow, have children and grand children and then die. Through time I learned that that's not the case and stop asking myself the question. Now, I live everyday as it comes. I must admit though that I still feel nostalgia about having a big family but now is like a fading dream, or a novel I read somewhere. In our society, I think the concept of family is starting to die (if not already dead). History will tell us how bad we screwed up our generation. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/23/2009 11:55:34 AM | | Just wondering, after reading the whole thread, it seems that pretty much everybody is happy being single.... I couldn't help my self to start wondering, what the f*** are we doing in here then ? | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/23/2009 1:52:57 PM |
To all those between 30-40 do you think you ever be in a relationship again? If you are still single by the time you are 45 will you wonder what happened?
I am 45 and I don't wonder. I know exactly why I'm single. I have a broken man-picker.  | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/23/2009 2:07:30 PM |
Just wondering, after reading the whole thread, it seems that pretty much everybody is happy being single.... I couldn't help my self to start wondering, what the f*** are we doing in here then ?
In the forums? Reading and sometimes responding to posts, I would imagine. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:17:03 PM | | single at 45...you might as well just shoot yourself....when i was going through my divorce many years ago i told a friend...but i am too old to be single...he said... you are never too old to be single...a girlfriend told me ..there will always be some man hanging around...and there always has been...i have been single 20 years now and have been truly happy that whole time...marriage is like being buried alive...wake up ..look around...you survived to tell about it...come out and play in the world of the living... | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:29:38 PM | | I never thought I would be single at 34. I didn't marry until my late 20's but that went terribly wrong along the way. Dating now is nothing like dating then......I find it so very hard to even meet anyone. At my age, all of my friends are married with children and its extremely hard to "network" because everyone they know is married with children. Its just a vicious cycle! | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:04:39 AM | Actually, Rat-7..
Consider this, if you work all evenings, is that attractive? Have you considered changing this in order to have a life?
Only strolling in the neighbourhood, coffee, says " scared to get out of my comfort zone"...
Some are single because they won't settle.
Some, because they won't change their ways.
Some, because they were burn't.
Some, because they aren't out there enought to flirt and see.
Some, because they still will "settle" and show this and the other knows what they now want in life.
The list can go on...
Which ever one you can relate to, you work on changing.... I'm sure there is alot more but bottom line, if your confident, it doesn't matter.... Often there are changes to do within, or with work, whatever, in order to get to another level. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:45:33 AM |
Consider this, if you work all evenings
First of all, I do not work evening, I work overnight, and there is not much I can do about it, since there is not that many choice of work for somebody that barel;y finish high-school.
As for the rest, I just scare woman, which make sense since I make Frankenstein look like Miss Universe | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:22:01 AM |
So to all my fellow 40 year old and above did you expect to be single still?
Never thought about it. I live one day at a time.
Do you feel like there is something amiss with the world or yourself?
I don't feel like anything is "amiss" per se, as I don't obsess with the fact that I'm single. I know eventually I will have the relationship that I desire, and until then just livin' life! | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/28/2009 8:36:28 AM |
did you expect to be single still? No.
When I was younger, I certainly didn't expext to still be single at this point in my life.
Do you feel like there is something amiss with the world There's lots of shit amiss with the world. Greed, famine, wars, disease, prejudice, crime, corruption, ignorance, indifference, pollution, unequal distribution of wealth, misuse of resources, climate change, etc, etc. But I doubt that any of that stuff is responsible for me not finding a relationship.
or yourself? Yup. I'll admit it. There likely is something amiss with me that prevents me from finding a relationship.
do you think you ever be in a relationship again? What do you mean "again"? | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:29:05 AM |
Just wondering, after reading the whole thread, it seems that pretty much everybody is happy being single.... I couldn't help my self to start wondering, what the f*** are we doing in here then ?
Should we be miserable, suicidal and single?  | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:07:27 PM | I never expected to be 40 and single. I divorced at 33 after a 14 yr relationship, 9 of it I was married to the girl. From that, I have two wonderful and beautiful kids. I've had more than my share of dates or even short relationships...since...that I can't complain about. I'm a very outgoing person and I don't seem to ever be short of a date if needed.
HOWEVER...One thing I think many people struggle with is knowing who and what they are. Most people can not look into the mirror and actually see who they are...they refuse to accept they are different than what they want to be. It takes a strong person to accept what they see and actually put into motion the things they need to do to change and be that person they want to be.
This is why I think so many people end up dating the "same type of person" over and over. I know from experience that a woman would tell me that they are this or that and they are looking for this or that, but they're actions don't reflect that.
Me personally, I'm waiting for that certain something to hit me with a girl. I've had it happen to me twice. That type of something that when people ask you what it is, you can't explain it. Its the way she walks, talks or flicks her hair...who knows. That something that hits you like a truck and leaves that empty feeling inside when she's gone. That feeling of having your heart hit the floor every time she walks into the room. That's it for me. I've been fortunate to find that with to women in my life, but for one reason or another, there were barriers that kept us apart...but it hasn't kept me from continuing my search. I know she's out there...
Some day, I'll find her. Some day, you'll find yours. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:16:56 PM | op,
no, didn't expect it. now that it has happened, i find myself somewhat relieved. nothing to do with him really...more my own shift in thought. when i was in my 20's, i just naturally assumed you got married and that was it. it was the norm in my mind. now, i just kinda wonder who made up the rules? i guess it's like santa, you believe in it...then you stop...you don't dislike santa, but it's not something you think about much, either...and kind of odd to fathom going back to it. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:44:28 AM | No...... I didn't expect to be single at my age. Life is full of surprises.
I am trying to make peace with myself..Maybe, I won't ever meet the right person.
That isn't a self pity statement either. 70% of black women are single in this country. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:41:00 AM | | If someone told me I'd be single now in my early 20's, I would have laughed. However, I think for me things happen for a reason and one day things will go the way that I hoped. | |
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