| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/3/2009 4:51:55 PM | | I have found that a large German Shepherd dog to be quite effective in keeping people from sneaking into my house at night. Only the really persistent ones ever get through the door, and they then wish they hadn't....... | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/3/2009 8:31:40 PM | | Well I sure don't think a gun is the answern- because as some previous posters said - the laws in Canada are quite restrictive about owning a gun - especially a hand gun, but a dog, a big stick, whatever worked for me .... but lets not jump to a lot of conclusions here either and say the OP should run either - maybe take a step back - check into things that don't seem right - remember its only been 6/7 months - they are bound to have that baggage that we talk about - and most likely haven't even figured out whose suitcase is whose - maybe she is a nutcase and there is good reason why they aren't together .... if the OP feels a good connection - it might be worthwhile considering after some more careful steps..... Of course this is just my opinion..... | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:29:14 AM | | If her baggage is similar to my baggage, there's no carry-on limit. We can help each other to maybe minimize or eliminate our baggage. | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:54:40 AM | Blame the man cuz he has a wacked ex......nope
but he does hold the doormat prize if his ex still has key to his house
or was that his mommy perhaps pretending your ready to play sleep over might require an alarm system if you have a wacked ex however. and 23 years of doormat does not sound attractive to me.....
Human's whom carry baggage are ones who never bothered to put context to the past and carry emotional trama in a packed ball which sabatoges their fututre choices..imo.
they do not have their own opinion of themself solid...they rely on others opinions to set their esteem.....pukes at back of throat...........yuck. wipes shoes .... skips out of thread....oh well guess they rely on the mommies opinion and lost connect with themself if they ever had it. run like h3ll girl.....find a adult who is in clarity of past or keep walkin......IMO of course. toodles
It is their loss, it is a sole searching clarity i am lookin for not a big old whinney child with no context to equality of blame for past....what ever takes all kinds right...
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:02:22 AM | It is not either of your faults that this happened. My question is how did he handle it? Was he apologetic for her behavior? Then he needs to choose the past or the future. Was he angry? if so did he deal with her by calling the police? if the answer is yes you have a winner. Question still is do you wanna go through the dealign with a psyco ex? I lost a good relationship in large part due to that. How you answer the question is up to you. | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:20:29 AM | While I have to admit I run from these kinds of dramas ugggg I don't even watch this stuff on tv.
I know it may feel good now but 6 months? This person can not possibly be over the anger of their divorce.
Easy solution change the locks ....... some people would rather sit in the thick of it to validate their anger than make logical decisions, because they have not sifted through their baggage.
When traveling I pack once then I pick up my suitcase and if I can not carry it myself I start going through it and tossing things out that I really don't need.
Life is kind of like this the process is important . | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:05:49 PM | | Everybody except newborns have baggage. Even the best and most level headed person can't control their baggage. This one sounds like a mutual back and forth game the man plays with his ex. Only when someone else wants them are they interested in each other again. Children and their toys, heh, what are you gonna do? He needs to end that relationship before he pulls anyone else into a new one. Take it with a grain of salt and move on. Find the humor in it, learn from it and look for the same warning signs in your next relationship. Life is way too short to waste being angry or frustrated with him, keep looking and find the guy who has a definate ex that knows the boundaries. | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/5/2009 11:19:17 AM | I like to think I've got my "baggage" stowed away safely, but sometimes when the plane hits a bit of turbulence the latches might come undone and my baggage might fall out.
If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't sleep at his house until he has at least changed all the locks and the ex no longer can gain access to his house, or changed the tumblers or what ever they're called in the lock mechanism. | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/5/2009 12:41:50 PM | | Well, my advice, is this. Run, don't walk. Don't look back. Take on new activities, and totally put this guy behind you. My advice is based on my experience with a guy who was seperated from his ex for 3 yrs before we got involved. But the minute she heard he was involved with someone else, all of a sudden she was a constant thorn in his side. And even though it has been several years, she still is acting this way. I have seen her do this with a couple of women after him and I broke up as well. | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/5/2009 12:43:34 PM | | Now I know why I wanted a German Shepherd dog. Even though she is more likely to kill someone with kisses than anything else. LOL | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:40:21 AM | I promised ya'll an update so here it is:
He handled this beautifully. He was apologetic, he had a "talk" with her. Things are going great (yes, no, maybe?). It hasn't happened since nor, do I believe it will. Its just now there are "other" issues. She seems to have taken this as: "oh great now I have to call him, invite him to test drive her new car, go out to dinner with her parents, etc, etc" . He's been ignoring her (being pleasant, but still ignoring).
I on the other hand am taking a break: I feel that he needs to do the final "house inspection" before I close on any deal. Although, I like everything about the house. No one wants an attic full of termites: Could come crashing down any second! *lol* And you can't always see termites! Word of advice: Watch out for "stowed baggage". Those overhead bins can have a mind of their own!
Lisc | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:53:23 AM |
Its just now there are "other" issues. She seems to have taken this as: "oh great now I have to call him, invite him to test drive her new car, go out to dinner with her parents, etc, etc" . He's been ignoring her (being pleasant, but still ignoring).
Obviously he is not sending her the right message. If it has to do with the children call me if not refrain from calling.. Go out for dinner with her parents? What are they doing living in la la land.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/11/2009 9:04:59 AM | "You think 21 days isn't long enough to start dating someone when your both on "dating" sites"
Just my opinion, but if you jump into bed with a guy based upon less than 21 days of experience with him than don't be surprised when you have ex's sneaking in unlocked back doors. | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/11/2009 9:05:56 AM | "La la land" FUNNY!
Actually, I am not sure if any of you have ever read the "how to get your ex back" books? But they all say the same thing. Start dating others. She is really reacting like the "classic text book case". Now that he has moved on she wants him back? Or is it a case of: I don't want you but I don't want you with anyone else? Either way: I am giving him some time to make sure that it is over. Like I said I'm afraid of termites! *lol* | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/11/2009 9:08:03 AM | Is this a new rule?
Who says 21 days isn't enough time to "jump" into bed with someone?
Ohh...you mean 21 days isn't enough time for YOU to jump into bed with
someone.
As long as we're clear. | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/11/2009 9:25:56 AM | You are right, she is acting like a text book case of how to get your lover back. Unfortunately it can be very dangerous depending on how much self control she has and sneaking into the house makes me think she is a loose cannon.
I had the unfortunate experience of a very similar situation. They had been together for well over 13 years, never married, as soon as she started dating me, he was all over her again, calling, driving by, sneaking in the house. She changed the locks, got a restraining order and he still comes by. A restraining order is just a piece of paper that makes it easier for the police to arrest them. If a person has the personality to sneak into your house months after a relationship is over, do you think a piece of paper will stop them. Then he finds my phone and email address and starts leaving obscene messages and emails.
I ended it because it was too much drama and was overshadowing the very good times and making me concerned about he safety of my children. This is a decision that you should think long and hard about. Me, I think a new relationship only 6 months after a 23 year relationship is REBOUND no matter what anyone says. | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:32:13 AM |
Either way: I am giving him some time to make sure that it is over
Just do not hold your breath too long. Nothing is worse than living your life in limbo land.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:32:46 AM | You are right, she is acting like a text book case of how to get your lover back. Unfortunately it can be very dangerous depending on how much self control she has and sneaking into the house makes me think she is a loose cannon.
I never really thought about it that way.
<--can be cluless..( I know ya'll are shocked)
So..rebounds and not waiting too long...All true.
Although like I said: I'm not sure I believe in the "rebound" concept. Its been done to death in these forums. So, if everyone is re-bounding, how are you suppose to get "back on the horse"? He told me he was ready to date. Why wouldn't I believe him? We're not children, we're suppose to be in our 40's. I personally believe that no matter how long a relationship is, at our ages, we should be able to "make a decision". As for the whole getting your ex back: Why would anyone want their ex back? Maybe at first, but, when you meet someone who you really like, why bother?
Maybe I am deluding myself?
Lisc | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:58:07 AM |
Why would anyone want their ex back? Maybe at first, but, when you meet someone who you really like, why bother?
Okay if they wanted them back at first??? This may or may not have changed even if they met someone else they really liked. They could still harbor stronger feelings towards to one that might have left..
One they are just getting to know the other than have loved and lost?
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:35:24 PM | | Color me cautious, but I still smell Bunny boiling. Maybe just simmerin' on the back burner, but the drama's still not over, by a long shot. | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:16:39 PM | "how are you suppose to get "back on the horse"? He told me he was ready to date. Why wouldn't I believe him? "
Because it is quite common for people to claim they are ready to date when they are not. When you get to know a person better over time you can listen and see if they have done the relationship review, inventory, reflection and other such work to identify what their part was in the relationship, what they need to learn to do differently and if they have taken the time to develop the skills to do things differently the next time.
"at our age" we have lived a chronological amount of time. It says nothing about whether we have developed the maturity, responsibility or self-honesty to own up to our part in our lives and learn and change. It says nothing about our maturity or lack of it.
One of the things mature people learn is that talk is really easy to say .... but until we spend significant time with people and observe their actions we don't really know them. | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/12/2009 7:58:34 AM |
Why would anyone want their ex back?
maybeeeeeeee.....
money, sex, and heck,, you're already use to the jerk..!!
At least that's what I try to convince mine about...
You gals are just sooooo picky...
---SoldierByte--- | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/12/2009 9:21:41 AM | OMG! Ya'll are too funny!
"Women being too picky"! "Boiling bunnies"! LMAO!
Again I will keep ya'll posted. Right now things are pretty damn good: We've had no more late night intrusions, he's communicating, I'm living in mortal fear. What could be better? *grin*
*hugs*
L | |
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| Baggage and the carry-on limit
Posted: 8/12/2009 4:19:00 PM |
Actually, I am not sure if any of you have ever read the "how to get your ex back" books? But they all say the same thing. Start dating others. She is really reacting like the "classic text book case". Now that he has moved on she wants him back? Or is it a case of: I don't want you but I don't want you with anyone else?
OP, go back and read my previous post. I think I nailed her motives pretty well. Many years ago, when I was very shy, I used to people-watch. It was a blessing in disguise, as I have learned to read people pretty well (even those I've never even met), based on their behaviour. | |
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