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| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/4/2009 5:42:07 AM |
people generally think of me as a fairly good listener, but what i have noticed is that listeners often get misinterpreted as " a push over"
So do you think that's true? | |
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OKRob
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Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 27 | |
| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/4/2009 9:47:07 AM |
people generally think of me as a fairly good listener, but what i have noticed is that listeners often get misinterpreted as " a push over"
"So do you think that's true?"
Yeah it can be. If you get the type of person who quickly learns that you're happy to listen and it devlops into them only wanting to know you when they have something on their mind. I don't mind listening to people but I doubt I'd let myself be constantly whined at and especially if it appears that my advice had been no good to them the previous time. | |
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Scints
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Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 29 | |
| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/4/2009 9:55:54 AM | I think I listen better than i talk, but there are some people, especially in work where they have such a great way of saying something.
Doesn't matter what is being said but their language, tone of voice and expression is just so captivating.
Some people who write here are great at writing in an interesting way. Unfortunately I'm sensible and straight to the point, but I do admire people who are interesting communicators. | |
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| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/4/2009 2:11:15 PM | What's this strange word "talking"?
I have been "dumped" a couple of times (in my youth, I hasten to add) for being too quiet - so yes, I am a good listener, and have been assessed as an "active listener" in work training.
But oh my, give me a good subject and an empty space in which to post and I can write like there's no tomorrow! Sometimes garbage, sometimes sense, but the feeling of freedom is wonderful! | |
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| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/4/2009 2:19:24 PM | It may come as a surprise to some of you...............but I am usually thought of as a good listener. I do seem to be the sort of person who people talk to and tell lots of things to(which are never repeated)as I'm just not judgemental about anyone. We all make mistakes and it's how we deal with them that counts. I often find myself observing people at a gathering as it fascinates me, rather than being the centre of attention...........however, I do also talk the hind legs of a donkey!!
My ex Inspector used to not particularly like me as he thought I talked too much but did agree that I was a good listener.............as a result, my annual report stated "This officer performs well orally".............................. | |
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| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/4/2009 2:24:03 PM |
I don't mind listening to people but I doubt I'd let myself be constantly whined at and especially if it appears that my advice had been no good to them the previous time
A lot of people think that when you share a problem with them you want them to advise you on what to do but in fact a lot of people don't really want that at all. After all, if they took your advice and it all went wrong you might be in the doghouse (again!) I am pretty good at working things out for myself but sometimes I need to off-load how I am feeling without being told what I should do about it. I have a friend who is very good at listening but the other one is good at telling me what I should and shouldn't do and I rarely turn to her when I want someone to listen to me. | |
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| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/7/2009 1:30:33 PM | I'm a good listener but I have a very annoying habit of butting in & randomly changing the subject. Also tend to repeat myself greatly after a few glasses of wine apparently, really don't mean to, can waffle for England sometimes | |
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| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/7/2009 1:35:46 PM | A good conversationalist will balance listening with talking depending on the circumstance. If the other person has a lot to say, they obviously want to be listened to. If they appear to be struggling with finding things to say, then its up to you to do some talking and inspire them, if that's what you want.
Sometimes you need someone to be that good conversationalist for you, hopefully, when they need it you can return the favour.
I can have too much or too little to say, but I think I normally realise and try to make up for it before its too much of a pain. | |
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| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/7/2009 6:46:34 PM | With clients I listen and say very little,with colleagues and friends I am a talker. When I meet people in a work related situation I am quite perceptive and can usually assess a situation quite quickly so I listen a lot then. In my personal life.........chat a hole in a bucket if I am in the form, or if I'm very nervous I babble.........a friend of my mine gives me a nod now to let me know to slow down a bit I can also stammer quite a bit when I'm nervous so i try and shut up and listen then. | |
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| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/7/2009 7:17:57 PM | Quite often i have to sit and listen to peoples problems and try and work some solution out that beneficial to all. I do try my best but some of the crap i hear is mind blowing..
Earlier this year i was brewing up in some god forsaken flea pit under a roasting sun an all this guy wanted to do was talk/rant/myther about a pigging e~bluey that he reckoned the system had swallowed. It went on for ages and in the end i sent him back to his hole...enough was enough
Another guy moaned an groaned that we had deployed just prior to his dog pupping her first litter...then he banged on about wanting to get home an see the pups...Jeeeez why didnt he just leave the army, go fettle Barbara Woodhouse and give us some peace..an we can all be happy..
Yup i will listen but bang on like a sh*thouse door an i will c0ck a deaf 'un  | |
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| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/8/2009 2:53:24 AM | More of a listener, but far from a pushover.
Im not what i call a gabbler, im more measured in my conversation, but seem to switch off pretty quick, if i finding the convo a tad boring | |
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| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/8/2009 12:55:38 PM | Right on here, I am - enjoy being - a reader, so in other words I do listen to what other people have to say. If I feel compelled to share my views or experience I don't hesitate to do so.
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| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/9/2009 1:33:22 PM | I must admit that I used to be very very full of myself and suffered from 'lastworditis' and always needed to have the final word on any subject even when it was one on which I had little or no expertise or knowledge. I would sometimes go on for hours and hours trying to grind down others who were trying to have their say and switched off when they spoke until it was my turn to speak again.
However, after long sessions with my social skills councellor I find I am now an active attentive listener and find that I enjoy conversing with others far more and now learn things rather than just thinking that I know best al the time. | |
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| Are you a good listener or do you talk too much?
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:13:37 PM |
Some people make good listeners whilst other people are better at talking. What do you think you are best at?
It depends on the circumstances.
No two conversations are the same, and neither are the people I have them with.
Do you find it it difficult to make conversation?
Again, it depends on the circumstances. Is it really a 'conversation', or just two people stating their opinion? Is the other person participating, or just wanting to hear my voice?
Is it a conversation that I want to be part of? Suppose the other person is a woman who is wishing to end a relationship with me, but is unable/unwilling to find the words, and I find that I'm the one who asks all the questions to be be met by one-word answers.
Are you one of those who can talk for England?
God , yes! Usually about England, too...
Would you be attracted to someone if they talked too much or too little?
It depends on the circumstances.
There are some women who I could listen to 24/7..........if I could.
Do you think that listening is more important or less?
Than what?
I'm a great listener when I stop talking long enough to let you get a word in edgeways
Or something...
I'm not very good at listening to advice though which seems to go through one ear and out the other.
So, you go on your gut instinct?
I don't blame you.......the body never lies!
I must admit that I used to be very very full of myself and suffered from 'lastworditis' and always needed to have the final word on any subject even when it was one on which I had little or no expertise or knowledge. I would sometimes go on for hours and hours trying to grind down others who were trying to have their say and switched off when they spoke until it was my turn to speak again.
However, after long sessions with my social skills councellor I find I am now an active attentive listener and find that I enjoy conversing with others far more and now learn things rather than just thinking that I know best al the time.
So, if you were always right, what made you take such an extreme step as to take counselling? Did you not have the confidence to adjust your behaviour without having someone else to point out any flaws that you thought you might have had?
And 'having the last word' on a topic that you know nothing about probably means that the other person has realised that you've gone waaay beyond your abilities, and they're thinking about how to present their excuses and leave. Know what I mean? Like when you're talking about the weekend's league football results with someone who suddenly asks when the next round is? It's plain that they haven't a clue what a 'league' is, even though they've merrily banged on about it for an hour.
I'm glad that it worked out for you, though... | |
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