| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:31:18 PM |
I don't want to sound harsh, because its commendable that you take care of your children, your best bet is probably an old guy that's infertile and can't have his own kids. As a 23 year old male, let me give you our typical perspective. I have lofty ambitions and lots of things I want to do and places to see. I want to explore the Andes, see China and Japan, maybe get a couple more degrees. All this requires time and money. Why would you throw that all away to instead spend all your time and money on somebody else's kids? What self-respecting man would possibly do that? Please don't take that personally, just some general observations
My question is, why would a self-respecting young woman, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, etc., not also feel this way:
"I have lofty ambitions and lots of things I want to do and places to see. I want to explore the Andes, see China and Japan, maybe get a couple more degrees. All this requires time and money."
Why would they throw that all away to instead spend all of their time and money on children? Why not wait to have children until they, themselves have done all or at least some of that? Why is there a rush to have children? | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:51:00 PM | ACTUALLY sweetheart Maybe YOU should take a look at what forum YOU are posting in.....There IS a section for 'ask a man' you know....APPARENTLY you missed that...along with the grammar bus.... You are CLEARLY not being honest about your situation ...it's hilarious to see you try to defend it. | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/12/2009 12:12:59 AM | P.S...........
Try to take some time to GROW up....Your children will appreciate it...and as much as you think I am being a ****....I am not...I am being HONEST...Something YOU should consider being with yourself...  | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:00:38 AM | The way I see it. I have my own life. I am 33 yrs old and have 2 daughters ages 15 and 13. If someone great happens to wonder in then I look at it like a little extra added bonus to my life (for that moment). I was married for 10 yrs to their father (who by the way was my first and only from the time I was 17 till I was 27). I do not expect much from anyone. And I do not give more then I expect in return.
It is what it is. Focus on your own life and your kids and stop worrying too much about men!
Get a cuddle buddy those work great, they give you your "emotional needs" and
you don't have to worry about anything more or anything less from them. And when I say "cuddle" I mean CUDDLE. That doesn't mean find a "friend with benefits". Thats how we catch disease! Just someone to keep you company on cold nights. :)
Good luck on your journey. I hope you stop and think and learn from all you encounter. | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:19:07 AM | I do believe it took a man to make those kids as well as a woman. Yet, somehow, that doesn't seem to matter and if a woman stands up and takes care of her 1,2, 3, 5, 7 children with out the man that helped make them she is somehow "throwing her life and money away". lol
I am a single mother and I love every minute of it. Life is not just a big playground it also has many challenges and to me, that is what makes us grow as a person. If I spent my 33 yrs just playing I wouldn't have learned a damn thing! :)
I mean really, what have I missed out on? Hmmmm.. I don't think there is anything that I would have rather done.
Also, one last note, by the time both of my children are 18 and moving on to college I will just be in my late 30's and can STILL do anything I want to do with my time and money only now as I am older I have more to do it with :). Verses those that "wait" to have kids till they are older. Not knocking those that wait but to me it makes more sense to have them younger (not TOO young) so you still have time and ENERGY to have fun when they grow up and you aren't in a nursing home when your grandchildren come to visit. Anyway, those are my thought on that! Good luck to all with or without kids. :) | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/13/2009 9:39:23 PM | Actually you are wrong. My brother is self respecting and fell in love with a girl (age 25) with 3 kids. He is 26. So there are men out there that do. They are now married and have a daughter together as well. He is proud of his family (her and her children and their child together). They just bought a 3000 sq ft house and are very happy together. So there are some men that are responsible enough to WANT to handle the job of playing dad to someone elses children. Their own father doesn't bother paying for them and see's them when he feels like it.
It just takes a "real man" to do it I guess. Unfortunately there aren't alot out there these days worthy enough to enjoy an instant family. :) But hey to each his own. | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/14/2009 6:46:31 AM |
Actually you are wrong. My brother is self respecting and fell in love with a girl (age 25) with 3 kids. He is 26. So there are men out there that do. They are now married and have a daughter together as well. He is proud of his family (her and her children and their child together). They just bought a 3000 sq ft house and are very happy together. So there are some men that are responsible enough to WANT to handle the job of playing dad to someone elses children. Their own father doesn't bother paying for them and see's them when he feels like it.
How lucky for her. But it doesn't seem to be the most common outcome for these situations.
It just takes a "real man" to do it I guess. Unfortunately there aren't alot out there these days worthy enough to enjoy an instant family. :) But hey to each his own.
You were doing so well until you decided to throw out the stereotypical bash at men who don't want to raise another man's kids...
It all depends on what you define a "real man" as... maybe he thought she was the best person he could get....
Maybe she's fabulous.... and makes it worthwhile to him... a lot of women are not worth getting involved with kids or no kids... other women are just so incredible that men will make compromises to be with them... | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/14/2009 3:26:08 PM | Hey there Jennifer Couldnt help to notice the post and had to make a comment..I have 4 kids myself not exactly as young as yours but still under 13.... but ya know how i look at my situation if they don't want me for what I have then so be it... They don't know what there missing.... But also having young ones usually alot of Time on your hands and (some )Guys feel that there isnt gonna be any as we call "Me" time ...
its all in time that someone will except the whole package ....
But I do have to say is that if the person I wanna be with has kids I will have to except ..if all the signs are there in the relationship (dating) ...Keep your Chin up Things will get better !!! | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/14/2009 8:17:36 PM | FYI Its not a crime to have kids. Now don't get me wrong some people will make you feel bad about it or say they wouldn't but there not the people you want to date anyway. If you have confidence in yourself and generally are a good catch I see no reason someone would not date you. If your up front and honest the package deal thing won't be an issue. Don't ever surprise someone with kids they have the tendency of surprising you right back.
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/14/2009 8:23:19 PM | I WOULD NOT HAVE A PROBLEM DATING SOMEONE LIKE YOU. I JUST BROKEUP WITH A WOMAN WHO HAD 3. 2 BOYS AND A GIRL.
THE LITTLE BOY WAS 2 AND HALF WHEN WE STARTED DATING. HE WAS CALLING ME DADDY AND I LOOKED AT HIM AS IF HE WAS MINE.
I WAS WITH HER FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS. ONE DAY AFTER SHE FOUND OUT SHE COULD NOT USE ME FOR ANYTHING ELSE. SHE BROKEUP WITH ME AND THEN STOPPED ME FROM SEEING THE LITTLE BOY(PEANUT WAS HIS NICKNAME). IT HURT ME VERY BAD.
SO, TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION. WE WILL AND SOME ARE WONDERING JUST THIS. GOING TO USE US? PUSH YOUR KIDS ON US JUST TO HURT US WHEN THINGS DON'T GO RIGHT FOR YOU....
MAKE ANY SINCE? | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:34:45 AM | | guys around the age of 21 to about 24 or 25 are not in the whole mind frame of maturity to be able to handle kids unless they have their own or spend time with them. you might want to find an older man than yourself. | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/15/2009 8:34:27 AM | You are correct about it (the comment) "getting a lot of bashing.."
but the TRUTH is..
regardless if it is "politically correct"..
a lot of women are not worth getting involved with kids or no kids...
the above is quite an appropiate AND accurate comment..
---SoldierByte--- | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:38:17 AM | | IM here to tell that someone will date with three kids but its going to take a mature man not a boy but a mature man..you just keep being the women you are and take care of your kids and men will notice..I love a women that takes care of her kids and herself.. | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:41:36 AM |
a lot of women are not worth getting involved with kids or no kids...
In all fairness couldn't the same be said about men???
A lot of MEN are not worth getting involved with kids or no kids....
See it works both ways but it does sound awfully bitter. | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:44:44 AM |
In all fairness couldn't the same be said about men???
A lot of MEN are not worth getting involved with kids or no kids....
See it works both ways but it does sound awfully bitter.
I stand corrected, you are right... a lot of men with or without kids are not worth getting involved with....
Especially the ones who are on this thread who are so obviously sucking up to the single moms in the hopes of getting laid... Sad really.... | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:46:17 AM | It IS bitter..but true..BOTH men and women it applies.
I married a women with THREE BABY daughters ..
we raised them to adulthood TOGETHER...
So I need NO one to "advise" me about either
the "difficulties" or maturity of parents dating..
But thank you for reading AND comprehending my posts..
---SoldierByte--- | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:47:11 AM | a lot of women are not worth getting involved with kids or no kids... In all fairness couldn't the same be said about men??? A lot of MEN are not worth getting involved with kids or no kids.... See it works both ways but it does sound awfully bitter.
LOL! That's exactly what I was thinking!!!
I stand corrected, you are right... a lot of men with or without kids are not worth getting involved with....
Especially the ones who are on this thread who are so obviously sucking up to the single moms in the hopes of getting laid... Sad really...
Do these men really think they are going to get laid because of what they say on a message board? | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:31:10 PM |
Do these men really think they are going to get laid because of what they say on a message board?
Ok... I think what they do is hope that if women see just how 'wonderful' and 'modern thinking' and 'politically correct' the men are tht they will want them...
I've seen too many posts about different topics where you get a string of men loudly (well, it's text, you know what I mean) proclaiming that THEY are NOT like the rest of those men who do this or that or did this or that if it was nasty... and YES they are like this or that if it was nice....
Now you may think no man would be that stupid but remember...
1... Some men working at construction sites will grab their crotches and yell "Hey baby!"thinking women will be attracted to them...
2... Some men think the stripper is falling in love with them...
3... Some men know that the Russian girl who sent them an email is after them, and not really after their money...
I'd go on, but really, once you think about it, you'll come up with numerous examples of your own... | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:13:41 PM | I'd suggest Parents without Partners. Google it and see if they have groups in your area. Its a great way to meet other parents in a situation similar to yours.
As a single dad myself, I can say....
Um, Yeah, you would have no trouble getting dates.
The ones you aren't getting you are better off without since they would not respect your position as a parent.
Relax, take it easy and good luck. I'm positive you'll find a guy who can handle the commitment. Possibly might get more kids added so consider that possibility. ( his kids from a previous relationship.) | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:19:27 PM | I do not feel like people are talking about me enough lately.
So I am suggesting that people start discussing me soon. In this thread or another... it's all good.
I want attention. I am ornery.
:P
-8sf8 | |
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| MEN HELP ME PLEASE!! I'm 23 with 3 small children....
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:48:02 PM | I agree with Josie.. I have just turned 26, 2 kids. I think guys that see me as a single mother and turn away are missing out because I have so much more to offer than just 2 kids.
I am such a friendly, out-going, down-to-earth girl. I love going camping, abseiling, canoeing, bike riding, bushwalking. Love having quiet nights in watching dvds and having friends over for BBQs but also like a night out. Im happy in myself. Happy with the way I look and my personality. Happy to run around in jeans and a singlet, but also love getting on a gorgeous dress and dolling myself up for a night out.
Without looking at the 2 kids, I can offer a guy my friendship and my love. I dont find a point in nit-piking and arguing over stupid things. I dont go out sleeping around. I work hard and am independant so dont need a guy to survive in life. I want someone who can share my life with me and we can experience new and exciting things together. I want someone who wants to spend time with me and makes me happy and who I make happy in return. I am a busy girl (working hard and competing on horses) but will make time for the right person.
You always have to look at the bright side. Look at what you can offer them and your good attributes. Dont think they are judging you because you have 3 kids.
I feel lucky that I have the love from my children and think that anyone who doesnt get to know me (as a friend or more) are the ones missing out, not me.
Now go and look at the good things you can offer a guy and express the good points.
Good luck in your search | |
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boo372
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Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 99 | |
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