| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:01:09 PM |
While the "real deal" is preferable, to get all the nutrients you really need would require a lot of calories..
You have to make sure the food you were eating is very rich in nutrients. Nutrient density is a measure of the amount of nutrients a food contains in comparison to the number of calories. By eating healthy foods, you'll get all the essential nutrients that you need for excellent health, including vitamins, minerals, phytonutrients, essential fatty acids, fiber and more for the least number of calories. Preferable is half if not more of your daily food intake is in the form of raw food.
So my answer is no you would not be over the top with you daily caloric intake. Most people are overweight because they are eating processed junk food with little value.
You are way better off eating the real deal than relying on vitamins.. which may or may not be as effective..
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:15:11 PM | It would depend on what the health issue is for me I guess. I have health issues as posted on my profile. I have never got a reply, so it is a issue for women.
Up until recently, I had a close relationship on line with a woman who has many health issues, I would have considered a relationship with her, sadly she went back to drinking and that is a deal breaker for me. Had she not been a drinker, I would gladly accept her. | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 4:17:07 PM |
...but for an opening ... I don't intend to LEAD with health issues Molly ... no one is promoting the idea of "spilling the beans" on all the health issues on the meet-n-greet.
I only get into such detail when I think I'm going to be giving a man my undivided attention. Before that, I don't expect a lot of details from him and don't feel the need to share details either ... although, with me there isn't much to tell.
Gee "R" man ... back to testing for STD's on a regular basis? Sigh. Get those ladies tested before you get your dipstick wet!!!! Besides, I thought I read in a thread (a while back) that you were dating the girl of your dreams and she was quite a bit younger than you and you were keeping up quite well sexually too. I guess nothing is forever ... eh?
Anyways ...
I don't ask for anything that I don't bring to the table as part of my "offer". Exactly ... that's my idea too. I want to at least start out on some sort of equal grounds with a partner. Once there's a commitment, and something might happen, I know I would not abandon my partner ... that's just not the way I am.
And as "eschec" has mentioned ... I really just have no desire to be with a man who is carrying around a big belly. Some (and it's really evident in their pictures) who write that their weight is "Average" ... really need to write "Average ... with a 50 - 75 lb. gut". That would be more realistic. | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 4:22:13 PM | ! Besides, I thought I read in a thread (a while back) that you were dating the girl of your dreams and she was quite a bit younger than you and you were keeping up quite well sexually too. I guess nothing is forever ... eh?
Whatever you interpreted in that way has to go back to the previous iteration of this sn. I was in a relationship last year, that ended in February. No, nothing is forever, but life goes on. What does that have to do with the topic?
Gee "R" man ... back to testing for STD's on a regular basis? Sigh. Get those ladies tested before you get your dipstick wet!!!!
The likelihood of STDs with middle class, heterosexual, non IV drug using,and non promiscuous adults is very, very minor. Still, when having my annual checkup, I do have them run the tests. Most years I've had only one partner. I'm not paranoid about something that isn't among the top 100 leading causes of death, well below the likelihood of being struck by lightning, but I do err on the side of caution, since I'm having bloodwork done anyway. :) | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 4:43:40 PM |
Vaginal dryness and atrophy is NOT caused by "celibacy"
I forgot to add this!
There is evidence of the changes in hormones and body as a result of being sexually removed or inactive for a stretch of time. So yes this is a factor that can contribute..
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:25:50 PM |
Molly ... no one is promoting the idea of "spilling the beans" on all the health issues on the meet-n-greet.
I only get into such detail when I think I'm going to be giving a man my undivided attention. Before that, I don't expect a lot of details from him and don't feel the need to share details either ... although, with me there isn't much to tell.
I debated long and hard about revealing my malady in my profile. My first reaction was why bother saying anything because I am not looking for a relationship or marriage but rather friends to expand my social circle and my malady should not stand in the way of sharing a movie, a bite to eat, meet for coffee and so on. That thought came to a skreetching halt in February when a local male contacted me about one of my posts in the fora. He had read my "pre-revelation" profile and was interested in perhaps meeting up with me. Before responding to his e-mail, I read his profile only to discover that he had lost his wife to cancer and a certain amount of bitterness in that regard was evidenced in his profile. I felt a duty to advise him that I was currently experiencing cancer prior to us meeting as opposed to waiting to "surprise" him at the meet with my lovely shiny bald head. He responded by indicating that he had no intention of ever having to deal with anyone again who has cancer and that I could be dead before long. I might add, by viewing his posted picture, this man appeared to be carrying a great deal of excess weight and it did make me ponder whether he might be the one dead before long. 
Lesson learned: It is now in my profile for all to read and I leave it to those who read it to decide if they wish to contact me or not. If nothing else, it automatically culls out the ones that I would have no interest in meeting. | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:30:41 PM |
There is evidence of the changes in hormones and body as a result of being sexually removed ... Oh dear, looks like the Mayo Clinic is not yet aware of that information. Maybe it would be easier to convince us if you gave us a link as to where that information came from ... eh?
Meanwhile, from the Mayo Clinic ...
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vaginal-atrophy/DS00770/DSECTION=causes
Vaginal atrophy is caused by a loss of estrogen. Less circulating estrogen makes your vaginal tissues thinner, drier, less elastic and more fragile.
A drop in estrogen levels and vaginal atrophy may occur:
* After menopause
* During the years leading up to menopause (perimenopause)
* During breast-feeding
* After surgical removal of both ovaries (surgical menopause)
* After pelvic radiation therapy for cancer
* After chemotherapy for cancer
* As a side effect of breast cancer hormonal treatment
Vaginal atrophy due to menopause may begin to bother you during the years leading up to menopause (perimenopause), or it may not become a problem until several years into menopause. Although the condition is common, not all menopausal women develop vaginal atrophy. Regular sexual activity helps you maintain healthy vaginal tissues. Unfortunately, it does not state that vaginal atrophy (which is vaginal dryness) is due to celibacy. I suppose one could eventually assume it's gonna be like it is for the men ... use it or lose it.
There IS however a problem for men if they don't use it ... the skin on their penis does atrophy and that is one of the causes for penile shrinkage. So let's hope the guys are taking care of business even if they don't have a partner ...  | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:59:05 PM | I love this subject, because I can tell it all. I am 45, on oxygen, and a big guy, as in heavy.
And I love the people who are looking for dates in our age group...selfish, pityful,pathetic and vainful people who the single thing they lust after most is a perfect body. And, I can now offer this to say......
I am 45, heavy, and on oxygen 99% of the time. My lungs are for the most part destroyed due to exposure to petrolium fumes while working unprotected in my job some years ago. But, when I go on a date with a woman, I really do not look for kickin' legs, or the perfect rack, or if a person goes to the gym 7 days a week to maintain their perfect body. If I do meet such a lady and have the oppertunity to date her, I am just thankful to be going on a date, period. I am retired. I do not work, but I do manage to make quite a living with some to spare.
I am on oxygen 99% of the time. My health requires it. I am big, and heavy. I have long hair and look like a biker. But, I am no couch potato. I play paintball on the weekends. I have a specially made chest rig made up to carry my oxygen tanks when I play. I work around the house.
Now the reason I mention those things is because I want to tell you this....when you look for a special someone, look deeper than the stereotype of what you are led to think people should look like. Because, a person may have health issues, they are still people. And, maybe, you just might find the "right" one! | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:38:57 PM | zigzagziggy ... I think that's gallant of you to come in here and admit all kinds of things that you don't mention in your profile. I guess I understand that you don't say anything about the O2 and so on, but why would someone so openly lie about their weight in their profile?
I think I see where it says "Average" on your profile. Why would anyone purposely mislead others about something like that? I think it's important to be honest about things. I'm almost positive that I represent over 99.999999% if the people here on POF when I say that we want honesty when encountering a perspective partner.
If a person is going to lie about such an obvious thing, what would they lie about that is not so obvious? I know I'm well past the age of playing games ... but then I never did do that.
OT ...
If we are going to have a trusting relationship with someone ... certainly it's not asking too much to be honest on the profile. I think that's important and I also think then that it's just as important not to misrepresent ourselves at the meet-n-greet and thereafter.
No wonder so many people are so leery ...  | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 7:03:43 PM | zigzagziggy you might want to rethink the flypaper in the one photo too. You will find honesty does get you farther as was mentioned. But you will also find people have preferences. It isn't shallow to like what you like. It is like people that like lima beans, I can't stand them. Ok, maybe a bad example, but that is the way it is.
Personally I had, don't drink at all, on my profile when I was dating. I had guys that turned me down on getting to know me, email, whatever, just based on that. I do drink on occasions and yeah, it is what I consider socially, but really from what I have been told, I don't drink because it is so seldom and it is sissy drinks or maybe wine. Being in a relationship, I am more social, so probably have had a drink 4 times this past year versus my normal 2. No biggy. People have preferences, if they like to go to bars, they want someone that drinks.
I am so not perfect and I know it. I can't get all my vitamins through eating because of other health issues... Simple things like milk, I am allergic to. I do have to do supplements. I have tried other food choices and I am just not a good or big eater, so it is easier and hopefully helps me. Of course things like colitis aren't brought up before I would go out with someone. I'm not sure when I told my bf about it. Perhaps when we did an all you can eat Chinese buffet. The MSG's kill me. You really need to get to know the person before you discuss things like that imo, where others you probably do want to be upfront about it.
tinkerbellcgy, breath and women like her are definitely inspirations! I don't think I ever read anything down beat. You guys always write so positive. Gosh I learn so much from these threads, hope some of that rubs off on me. | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/10/2009 4:31:59 AM |
Unfortunately, it does not state that vaginal atrophy (which is vaginal dryness) is due to celibacy. I suppose one could eventually assume it's gonna be like it is for the men ... use it or lose it.
Well think about use it or lose it.. Also think about is all that is being stimulated when have sexual intercourse. Mayo clinic is listing the most common causes for vaginal dryness. They are not however listing any other contributing factors...
Not only men have to take care of business.. sorry we have not escaped this. lol
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:47:02 AM | Just a note, since we're talking phytoestrogens and soy. . . .
The experience of actual GM-fed experimental animals is scary. When GM soy was fed to female rats, most of their babies died within three weeks—compared to a 10% death rate among the control group fed natural soy.[3] The GM-fed babies were also smaller, and later had problems getting pregnant.[4]
When male rats were fed GM soy, their testicles actually changed color—from the normal pink to dark blue.[5] Mice fed GM soy had altered young sperm.[6] Even the embryos of GM fed parent mice had significant changes in their DNA.[7] Mice fed GM corn in an Austrian government study had fewer babies, which were also smaller than normal.[8]
http://www.chelseagreen.com/content/doctors-warn-avoid-genetically-modified-food/
http://www.seedsofdeception.com/utility/showArticle/?objectID=299
I used to use soy isoflavones regularly. The recent information on this stuff is beyond scary. There is, as far as I can tell, extremely little soy available that is *guaranteed* NOT to be GMO, that it's just easier to avoid it altogether and get the estrogen from other sources. . . .
Be careful out there everybody. . . .
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:12:12 AM |
I used to use soy isoflavones regularly. The recent information on this stuff is beyond scary. There is, as far as I can tell, extremely little soy available that is *guaranteed* NOT to be GMO, that it's just easier to avoid it altogether and get the estrogen from other sources. . . .
I agree the recent information is indeed very scary so for now best to stick twith some of other choices..
What next will appear on the horizon stay tuned!!
I was just reading about gastric bypass surgery which I was never in favor of anyhow. Apparently once having it done patients had double the normal oxalate levels. These patients are at an increased risk of stone formation after their procedures .. So much better to change what you are eating then to have to resort to this. In fact most people regain the weight after going through it because they continue to eat the same way they did before and the surgery is risky.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/11/2009 7:58:17 AM | The one thing i get from this thread is the coward way people pretend caretaking someone who i sick is such a big deal.....only untill you remember the one who was sick and the h3ll they go thru...than the caretaking means ZERO>>>>guess it depends on your ability to focus on whats significant and to WHOM
context is people who caretake others do not resent it if love is on the table..only ones who do not love find RESENTMENT for human time exchanged in bad health...what ever.
chuckles..........walks away knowing wtf i am made off...drop kicks coward preferance over the moon....that is where you belong cuz it is not even adult never mind human. | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:17:20 AM | ^^^^^It isn't care taking people we already know or are involved with. It is getting involved with someone you don't know. People are going to go out with others that are honest about who they are, or honest about their medical issues if it involves a date they go on. If you go out with someone that didn't bother to tell you they are on oxygen 24/7 and you are active and play tennis, I don't see that match working. Perhaps you could get a date out of not telling the other person about the oxygen, but is that being honest?
We all have preferences about the people we want to date and be with. The same as we all enjoy certain activities and not others. That is reality. | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:17:28 AM | quote]context is people who caretake others do not resent it if love is on the table
Your right but we are discussing people they have yet to know. So love has not entered the picture yet and perhaps they would not mind when it does? At least that is what normally happens when you love someone you love caring for them. Having said that even care givers need a whole lot of support..
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:12:30 AM | It's all about compatibility when finding a new partner... if their health issues do not make them unable to do the things I'd like to do together... who cares? None of us are perfect...
But even someone that lives too far, is too busy with work or has small children will not be compatible... And these things have nothing to do with health... it's a lifestyle commonality I'm looking for. | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:22:42 AM |
it's a lifestyle commonality I'm looking for
I think that is what most of us look for. Since I am aware certain health issues may or may not effect that aspect I am a little more open to them.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:31:23 AM | ^^^^^ Janet4ever - that was what I was trying to get at with this thread.
I am looking for a life partner, not just someone to date.... and I think that is important too. If I was only wanting to date or hang out or be friends, then finding someone to be with is not as hard to find. It isn't just health, it was just that I noticed it was a subject that no one seemed to touch in these forums, except of course when it relates to weight. In looking for a life partner, I am looking for someone who is my match on all levels - physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, spiritually, financially..... etc. I am not saying they must be a perfect match on all levels.... there is always flexibility..... but the differences have to be things we can both live with. I know it isn't easy, quite obviously..... but I would rather be single than be with the wrong person.
JMHO
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:40:01 AM |
And I love the people who are looking for dates in our age group...selfish, pityful,pathetic and vainful people who the single thing they lust after most is a perfect body. And, I can now offer this to say......
Zig, we all have a certain look or type or even an idea of what works for us. When I don't even get the time of day from someone I might think might be a good match, I don't think they are....selfish, pityful,pathetic and vainful people. I just believe I'm not their type.... Too tall? Too big? Too Opinionated? Not this or not that... Something.... Sure I think to myself, but if only they gave me a chance?
And I will say I don't know your whole situation... But health issues shouldn't keep someone from getting to know that person. But it is one thing that frighten someone, how bad is this health? Will I fall for this person... only to fall in love and than lose them?
I am big, and heavy. I have long hair and look like a biker.
I'm like you in this sense... I may not be all that heavy and my hair isn't as long as it has been, but I'm looked at as a Biker... But maybe that's because of the way I dress a lot and the fact I ride a bike? I only wear those clothes... Leather jackets and bike shirts because I designed them... But if I was really concerned what I thought people thought about my appearance... I probably wouldn't be wearing all this crap with skulls and stuff as much.
What I am trying to say is... we are dealt some of the cards of our lives... we can't get around it.... But there are other cards that we hold on to rather than tossing them and taking a hit...
I'm saying this to myself, as much as I am to anyone else.
I will say this one last thing about this subject of finding a partner at our age. Wether it is a health issue or anything else... We all should keep our eyes open to things that might not be right in front of us.
Just one example: If you don't like guys with a mustache or long hair for example.... I wouldn't let the fact that a guy has a mustache or long hair be a determination wether or not you will meet this person... Ladies... Guys will shave and cut their hair for love. | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/11/2009 12:05:12 PM |
Will I fall for this person... only to fall in love and than lose them?
In my mind that is a given either I will leave this planet first or he will. If love is to be cut short as it was in my younger years I can certainly deal with it.. After all it will not come as as quite the shock this time around..
The minute you could give me a guarantee on time then I might change my mind.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/11/2009 3:58:53 PM |
context is people who caretake others do not resent it if love is on the table..only ones who do not love find RESENTMENT for human time exchanged in bad health...what ever. It isn't care taking people we already know or are involved with. It is getting involved with someone you don't know.
I have yet to see anyone in this thread promote that idea or even be so crass as to make such an uncaring statement, so back off already!!! Take out your indignation on people who make such statements.
We all have preferences about the people we want to date and be with. The same as we all enjoy certain activities and not others. That is reality. Yes ... that is correct. For example ... I still want sex. If I am in a committed relationship, I will want to have unprotected sex with my partner.
Do any of you have any idea how many people (my age) are out there with Herpes and also Hepatitis and just don't bother to tell their sex partners? I have actually encountered men who have Herpes and state ... "It's really no big deal at our age ... the only danger of a woman having Herpes is if she's still child-bearing age." EXCUSE ME?????
With attitudes like that ... it's no wonder STD's are spreading ... out of control.
So yes ... it makes a difference to me!!! I need disclosure before I let myself fall in love with someone who might make me very sick. That's reality. | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/11/2009 4:51:13 PM |
janet4ever said,But even someone that lives too far, is too busy with work or has small children will not be compatible... And these things have nothing to do with health... it's a lifestyle commonality I'm looking for.
Yes,imo, as you and cats gets it without putting up a wall or roadblocks before you even get start! lol
imo,these folks who do that are not here or any where else to date or meet as they have pigeoned holed the possible dates cuz of their self defeatist attitude.
And that's ok too cuz they have been through much trauma in their life and look for solace some day... :wink
Peace | |
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| Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 9/11/2009 11:16:08 PM |
I am not perfect by any means but I do try my hardest to stay healthy by eating right, excersizing, and I drink very little. I am not expecting for someone to be 20 but I do want someone that has the motivation to take care of themselves so they can live many more years. In fact I think it would be fun to work on it together with someone. I agree. Also, karma, I wanted to say I really like your new picture, but I couldn't mail you (restrictions). 
OT: I would be very disappointed in and turned off by someone who hid anything fundamental from me, which includes health issues. I do care if someone is healthy and fit, to the extent that we are compatible and can live a compatible lifestyle. For me, I am specifically looking for someone to share my active lifestyle, so I do need someone who does not have health issues that would interfer with this.
I have no health issues so far, and do take care of myself. I think if you are in love with someone, and that person becomes ill, it's a completely different story: you stick by them and deal with it together. But I would not seek out someone whose health issues would suddenly curtail my life. So, yes, health issues do matter. | |
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