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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/7/2009 9:49:01 AM |
think its my social responsibility to come off positive, being right has no payoff, who cares, besides no one remembers you predicted anything. With full knowledge that some people will say you are negative, even if you are stating reality, I only allow my true opinions around certain people who can handle the truth....for the others, I just put on my social happy face, if they knew what I really thought, their heads would pop...
Re: "Social responsibility to come off as positive" - Yeah - far too many people fake that they're happy just because of social practices. So it appears that many are happy and government / big business, family, friends, acquaintances also get used to happy being the norm. Most are walking around with a silly Stepford Wives smile on their faces, while in reality, almost ALL of them are unhappy with their situations...some of them even considering mass murder because of their internal frustration. But because they're always smiling, they're deemed happily ignorant, so government / big business and others figure they'll keep on doing to them what they have because they perceive no reason to alter their practices.
That's why I'm so against political correctness solely for the sake of being PC. If there are problems and no one speaks out about them, society is misled into believing there are none. When signifcant complications occur, a good number of the Stepfords suddenly have had enough and become extremely vocal - usually shocking their families, friends, acquaintances, employers, government, etc. who only then see the extent of the real problems and usually have no resources to deal with the volume.
I never understood the point of completely faking it through one's life. It's no wonder some of these Stepfords go berserk and destroy everything around them - family and friends claiming they had no clue, they were always happy and smiling and non-complaining.
As for being right having no payoff, I disagree. It keeps you from jumping over the cliff along with all the smiling Stepford Lemmings. You can position yourself to take advantage of the short-, medium - and long-term situations that you see are developing, while most others choose to remain oblivious to it. Sometimes you can prosper from it, while other times it allows you simply to survive intact while others around you completely collapse and lose everything. I know a few here truly know exactly what I'm talking about, while others never will and can only superficially imagine such things. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/7/2009 9:56:51 AM | | Being negative works like other affects, in that you repel and attract by it, so the people around you are there because it suits them, too. If you're primarily negative, the rejection you get supports your view of people, that is, people suck because they reject you for being negative. If you're primarily positive, that gets reinforced as well, as you find yourself being accepted by those who encourage your positive ways. The happy happy people bubble with the brew of mirth while what's in the glass that is half empty is the poison of commiseration. To tire of the routine that works for you would be a plus if you are negative, because being tired of it all, even of yourself, fits right in. It's like how happy people will make themselves happy by remarking on how happy they are to be happy about their happiness, only in the opposite direction. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/7/2009 10:00:42 AM | I stand by what I said, but I think you are overreacting......I don't fake it through life, I just don't btch about my problems to the "happy" people. In business, I'm absolutely pc, I'll forwarn about problems I see, but your damn straight I'm not going to have an image as a bummer, if that makes me phony so be it, if everyone was honest and themselves in my work environment, everyone would be fired.
Some people have to be right about everything, win every argument, end every conversation....they are exhausting, thats what I'm saying, I will voice my opinion, but after that I just let it go..... | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/7/2009 10:12:03 AM | ^^^^ Oh, I understand what you said...
I was just expanding further on it, mostly as a result of talking to a good number of people in the past few days. One of the functions of one of my jobs is to require hard-copy proof of what people claim is the reality. I'm always amazed at the number who then reveal that it's not at all the pretty picture they painted when it came time to lay their cards on the table.
Just looking at things realistically. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/7/2009 11:38:49 AM | My dear Cotter ,, I feel as you do when I find myself around negative people.
I will sometimes try to cheer them up but I always feel like getting out of their presence..
Some people will never stop being negative ,, They get off on it .!!!! | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/7/2009 5:22:56 PM | | I have come across one who seems quite energised by his own negative sarcasm ... well he never seems to falter and his comments are never , well, 'cheery' ? I wonder about whether in this case it is all an expected 'act' .. that could be it . but if it's for real then I'm sorry for him .My son is fighting kidney failure and still keeps up his end of a conversation and is a blessing for me that he fights so positively for health . | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/8/2009 8:04:01 AM | Wow Snap, that was very revealing......I think its my social responsibility to come off positive, being right has no payoff, who cares, besides no one remembers you predicted anything. With full knowledge that some people will say you are negative, even if you are stating reality, I only allow my true opinions around certain people who can handle the truth....for the others, I just put on my social happy face, if they knew what I really thought, their heads would pop....
For an engineer to have this attitude is what causes bridges to fail because someone wanted to get along and not make waves. I have saved my employers thousands of dollars on jobs because I tell them it not going to work, I've lost jobs because I blew the whistle on unsafe practices where others just smile all day and do harm to others. | |
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Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 35 | |
| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/8/2009 8:50:11 AM | For an engineer to have this attitude is what causes bridges to fail because someone wanted to get along and not make waves.
Herein lies the dangers in trying to assign positive/negative attributes to reality (and truth). Reality and truth are exempt from pessimism/optimism, they just are what they are.
Reason, critical thinking and logic are the tools best suited for empirically-based decisions and perspectives: While many who lean on emotion to facilitate "choice", may perceive these things as cold and dispassionate; in reality, this isn't even applicable, they are just different facets of understanding and the decision-making process. As with any limiting factors to a "big-picture", conformation bias is usually a trap that often leads to "bad" choices. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/8/2009 11:34:42 AM | I have had to be around people every day who moan and groan, complain and whine constantly. They suck the air out of the room they are in. It is a way of life.
Not a subject comes up that doesn't result in negative comments.
Or if there is a happy subject they turn to a depressing subject to make everyone around them as miserable as possible. Anything said to them results in a
negative pessimistic comment. You can feel your smile turn to a frown around
them. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/8/2009 8:58:22 PM | Obviously not cotter, as a quick perusal of the Relationship Forum at any time of the day or night will easily confirm. SOME Forum regulars have elevated the practice to an art form and seem quite proud of it. At the same time they don't seem to realize that their often cutting responses are not going to increase their chances of getting a date. I have to admit though that I do get some kind of perverted kick out of seeing some folks easily slip both feet into their mouths sometimes over and over in the same thread.
I think most people just simply do not realize just how negative they come across. Also in defense of the rare few, some were raised in families where there was constant bickering and whining going on. THESE people think it is NORMAL acceptable behavior. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/8/2009 9:13:09 PM | | I don't see any difference between the negativity of pointing out others as negative and any other kind. It's the same thing. Complaining about people who complain, even if they are complaining about people complaining about people who complain. I was at the state fair once and went in the House of Mirrors. It was a maze you walked through, the walls all were either mirrors or clear panes of glass. If you stood in some places you saw your reflection many times in all directions. If you pointed at one of your reflections, they all pointed back at you or at each other. I wasn't even stoned that day. That was back when I was in high school and used to smoke weed. If I had been, I might never have got out of there, even with the smell of freshly frying mini-donuts to guide me. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:27:58 AM | Prepare for a head-trip.
The more often we access an emotional state, the easier it becomes to access it in the future.
If somebody is negative or pissed off all the time, their brain literally rewires its circuitry in order to enable that person to become negative and pissed off more easily in the future.
Likewise, the more you access a positive emotional state, the easier it becomes to access it in the future.
So to answer your question, there's a huge chunk of people who, if they're negative now, will always be negative. It takes a conscious desire to change your habits and rewire your brain circuitry if you are not positive and want to be. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/10/2009 2:03:01 PM | Cotter, there are plenty of them. Yes, they always do feel they are right and everyone else wrong and there is nothing new for them to learn or discover in this world.
The naysayers
The doubters
The know-it-alls
The glass is always half empty
The sky is falling
The everyone is an idiot and only I know what is going on
people...
If you want to do a study of them just look into the threads here that have anything to do with faith, supernatural, mysteries, angels, heart connections, etc...
They stand out like a sore thumb and make everyone around them feel that way. They seem so proud and full of themselves for spreading negativity and crap. Notice one thing though, if it is a woman doing it, she will get deleted and maybe banned. If it is a man, he stands, no matter what. Take a notice sometime. Says a lot about giving one gender so much power, doesn't it? We women do play an equal part in this, as a gender we do treat men as if they are so special, babying them and taking on more responsibility than we ever should. This all creates this vicious cycle of negativity. Of course, I have left out a lot of the steps of the cycle, but if you have seen it, you probably get the general idea. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/11/2009 12:59:46 PM | | I know a few people like that. One in particular is a 70 year old alcoholic who has to let everybody know he's right; even to the point of arguing with people who agree with him. All he does is p**s and moan about everything and everybody he knows. Let something good to someone (pay raise, promotion, new car, marriage, etc) and he'll automatically go on a rant to say that person didn't deserve it. I'm really starting to hope he takes a dirt nap soon. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:17:43 PM | Often, I've noticed around here that it's not just what is being said ... the tone they use with one another does not reflect any kind of love. I pointed that out to my sister and she simply said that with them everything is always on the table.
So I said, I would want it that way too ... everything always on the table ... but then asked, "Are you all always so abrasive about things? Do you all ever find that you just want a gentle tone with one another?" It was useless to try to point out anything to her ... she is so used to it and participates as well that I don't think she cares anymore.
Apparently their children have grown up hearing it all so much that they are quite similar and now that I live here and see them interacting with their own spouses, I see the children (my niece and nephew) dominating their spouses with the same basic abrasive tones. Then to add to it, they know it all (just like their parents do) and if you question anything they say in any way ... buddy you get it full blast!!!
I've just gotten to the point that as soon as I hear those tones starting ... I make a beeline to my room and just find something up here to keep me busy.
It's amazing how their tones are so nice and friendly when outsiders are around and yet they can't use that tone with one another. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/15/2009 1:54:42 PM | This thread is rather hilarious, since many of those answering have made some blatantly negative comments on many threads. As a matter of fact, there are a few of you on this thread who continually make derogatory I- know-more-than-you-so -shut-up - bozo type comments. (laughs)
And now all of you are trying to come off as being positive people? I doubt most of you can show a past posting in the last 6 months, where you typed anything resembling a positive comment. Maybe some of you are only negative on POF?
Just read their Posting History
Oh crap, that's kind of negative isn't it?
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/15/2009 2:09:49 PM | | I think it really depends on what exactly you are viewing as negative or pessimistic. Some people confuse assertivness and "say it how it is" with this. I do not think people really (in general) get tired of being what they are like, because they are who they are. They may get tired of certain situations, but most of the time we put ourself in those situations. If I run across know it all's or down right mean people, I just pull away. If someone is opinionated or cranky, that does not really bother me. There could be a reason for it and sometimes, people who are like that are normally right. For myself I try to stay "level" but I am often taken as negative or cranky, when in fact I just say things how I see them, and prefer not to be bothered with stupid nonsense. Fake, "always happy" and naive or cluless people irritate me far more than the type you have described. I do much better with reality. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/15/2009 3:08:31 PM | I believe that people who are always negative, and pessimistic, do not get tired of it, because they are unable to see what they are doing in real time. Perhaps upon reflection these people can see what they have done, but while they are behaving
as they do, most of them are unaware.
I think these types of behaviors as signs of physiological problems.
Maybe these people wish it interact, but they are hurting, and others to hurt as well.
Maybe they do not know how to interact appropriately.
Maybe they are suffering from depression.
I ain't no doctor; however, I think these people are troubled. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:48:59 PM | cotter,
Check this out...
The mind "holds the unconscious belief that its resistance, which {we} experience as negativity or unhappiness in some form, will somehow dissolve the undesirable condition. This, of course, is a delusion. The resistance that it creates, the irritation or anger in this case, is far more disturbing than the original cause that it is attempting to dissolve."
"The ego believes that through negativity it can manipulate reality and get what it wants. It believes that through it, it can attract a desirable condition or dissolve an undesirable one. A Course in Miracles rightly points out that, whenever {we} are unhappy, there is the unconscious belief that the unhappiness "buys" {us} what {we} want. If "{we}" - the mind - did not believe that unhappiness works, why would {we} create it? The fact is, of course, that negativity does not work. Instead of attracting a desirable condition, it stops it from arising. Instead of dissolving an undesirable one, it keeps it in place. Its only "useful" function is that it strengthens the ego, and that is why the ego loves it.
Once {we} have identified with some form of negativity, {we} do not want to let go, and on a deeply unconscious level, {we} not want positive change. It would threaten {our} identity as a depressed, angry, or hard-done-by person. {We} will then ignore, deny or sabotage the positive in {our} life. This is a common phenomenon. It is also insane.
Negativity is totally unnatural. It is a psychic pollutant, and there is a deep link between the poisoning and destruction of nature and the vast negativity that has accumulated in the collective human psyche. No other life form on the planet knows negativity, only humans, just as no other life form violates and poisons the Earth that sustains it. Have you ever seen an unhappy flower or a stressed oak tree? Have you come across a depressed dolphin, a frog that has a problem with self-esteem, a cat that cannot relax, or a bird that carries hatred and resentment? The only animals that may occasionally experience something akin to negativity or show signs of neurotic behavior are those that live in close contact with humans and so link into the human mind and its insanity."
from The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
A fascinating read by the way!
If he's right, and I believe he is, "only a critical limit-situation has the potential to crack the hard shell of the ego and force them into surrender". I believe him because I personally have experienced a critical limit situation and it went down exactly as he described.
Sad but true, some of us need to be dragged kicking and screaming out of the ashes of the old world so a new world can then come into being. The secret is to "resist nothing" and "to be totally present". | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:23:08 PM | Aw, stop crabbin' about us, will ya?... You know you love us...
We crossed the great water in flimsy wooden boats with you, and said memorable things like: "Fvck... Will this pointless journey never end?", and "What's up with all these fvckin' weevils in the biscuit mix?"...
Skipping ahead, we rode with you across the plains in Conestoga wagons; saying shit like; "Couldn't somebody have designed this fvcker to be a bit less bumpy?... My ass hurts."...
And finally, after reaching the Pacific coast, we said; "Great... Just fvckin' great... There's nothing here... What now, you arseholes?"... | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:35:17 PM |
I have recently had a lot of close contact with with some very negative, pessimistic people.
Do they even realize how negative they are?
Do they ever get tired of being like that?
Some come across as just being "grumpy" or "cranky", but I am not realizing that this not what is going on.
They are just really negative and what makes it even worse is if they think they are always right about everythin
I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. | |
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| Do negative, pessimistic people ever get tired of being like that?
Posted: 10/24/2009 12:02:50 AM | cotter, I wonder if your brother-in-law is feeling trapped in certain situations.
Maybe he likes being generous, but it feels differently depending on whether it was a choice he got to make, or he had no option Good point
How do we know that they are negative, maybe it's your view of them that's negative. Some people I might see as negative may simply seem so because they disagree with or see things quite differently than I do. If, for example, I say something I think is just fine, either neutral or positive, and they criticize it, they may, to me, seem to be negative but are actually just disagreeing with me; hence, to my mind, they are being disagreeable. However, there do seem, indeed, to be some people who are always cup half full people and who enjoy being very cynical, critical, finding fault, seeing the negative in nearly everything, etc. I think these people might be diagnosed with some kind of clinical depresssion, or maybe it's just a personality type. Most have probably been like that most of their lives and don't see it and either don't want to or can't stop.
Oh crap, that's kind of negative isn't it?
Slightly....
I don't see any difference between the negativity of pointing out others as negative and any other kind. It's the same thing. Complaining about people who complain... He has a point.
I was at the state fair once and went in the House of Mirrors. It was a maze you walked through, the walls all were either mirrors or clear panes of glass. If you stood in some places you saw your reflection many times in all directions. If you pointed at one of your reflections, they all pointed back at you or at each other. I wasn't even stoned that day. That was back when I was in high school and used to smoke weed. If I had been, I might never have got out of there, even with the smell of freshly frying mini-donuts to guide me. Nice post, btw. | |
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