|
|
|
|
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/14/2009 7:57:15 PM |
Wow, I'd better start crossing my t's and dotting my eyes, or...hmmmm......church, church, church-lol
Hey, be nice to me... we're practically neighbours.... LOL I spend a lot of time in the same town as you...... and surroundings.... although I prefer Pickering....
Maybe crossing your eyes and dotting your T's might be best.....
 | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/14/2009 9:40:38 PM |
I would say that a woman who puts off having children until she is educated, has a decent career, and is married to a good man who is good father material is a probably going to be a good mother.
Well I got two out of three so I guess that's not too bad.  | |
|
| |
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/14/2009 10:26:19 PM | AMEN to Meplustwo!!!
I have to agree 1million percent on this.... and my kids are now older! Its NEVER been a problem when dating...and if it ever was and a guy didnt want to date me because I have kids.. its his loss! I know that I am a great catch and when I find him.. he is going to be one lucky man (single or with kids) with having me AND MY KIDS a part of his life! | |
|
| |
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 1:13:11 AM | This is a response to the posters that have that special "mob mentallity" outlook on single Mom's.
I thank you all for the entertaining posts that were primarily directed at me...it was a source of amusement when I read them. I especially enjoyed the personal insults made by many! A few words popped into my mind while I was reading them...I thought I would share the definitions of those words with you guys as they relate to this topic.
ig·no·rant (ĭg'nər-ənt)
adj.
Unaware or uninformed.
^^^dosen't always mean stupid bosox..there are different meanings depending on the context and structure of a sentence...Y'know!! ...geeze..
pre⋅sume /prɪˈzum/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [pri-zoom] Show IPA verb, -sumed, -sum⋅ing.
–verb (used with object) 1. to take for granted, assume, or suppose: I presume you're tired after your drive.
to undertake (to do something) without right or permission: to presume to speak for another.
to go too far in acting unwarrantably or in taking liberties (see arrogance)
^^^It is really silly for anybody to make assumptions about a persons circumstances in the present day before they hurl insults about their past circumstances....just sayin...
prej·u·dice (prěj'ə-dĭs)
An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.
A preconceived preference or idea.
The act or state of holding unreasonable preconceived judgments or convictions. See
Irrational suspicion or hatred of a particular group, race, or religion.
Detriment or injury caused to a person by the preconceived, unfavorable conviction of another or others.
^^^kinda sums up the tone of posts from certain people on this thread dosen't it?
de·grade (dĭ-grād')
v. de·grad·ed, de·grad·ing, de·grades
To reduce in grade, rank, or status; demote.
To lower in dignity; dishonor or disgrace: a scandal that degraded the participants.
To lower in moral or intellectual character; debase.
^^^^This word came to mind when I read a certain list on pg 2.......who wrote that again??
mock
–verb (used with object) 1. to attack or treat with ridicule, contempt, or derision.
to ridicule by mimicry of action or speech; mimic derisively.
to use ridicule or derision; scoff; jeer (often fol. by at).
^^^Perhaps we are guily of that one....some more than others?
com⋅pas⋅sion /kəmˈpæʃən/
noun 1. a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.
^^^a rare trait to find in the posts on the single parent forum recently.
sup·port (sə-pôrt', -pōrt')
To be capable of bearing; withstand: "His flaw'd heart . . . too weak the conflict to support" (Shakespeare).
To keep from weakening or failing; strengthen: The letter supported him in his grief.
To argue in favor of; advocate
de⋅fend /dɪˈfɛnd/
to ward off attack from; guard against assault or injury
^^^these boards have essentially turned into a forum for verbally insulting single mothers who come here to ask for suggestions or gain some insight...It is like watching a bunch of bullies swarm one kid in the playground. | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 1:26:56 AM |
^^^dosen't always mean stupid bosox..there are different meanings depending on the context and structure of a sentence...Y'know!! ...geeze..
It never means stupid. I said he wasn't ignorant because he understand and is knowledgeable about the topic at hand. You were referring to him as ignorant in a demeaning manner. Just stating the obvious.
^^^kinda sums up the tone of posts from certain people on this thread dosen't it?
I haven't seen many "adverse judgments or opinions formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts."
Just so you know, we all have access to the internet, we don't need you to copy and paste whichever online dictionary you're using. | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 2:03:53 AM | Just so you know, we all have access to the internet, we don't need you to copy and paste whichever online dictionary you're using.~bosox~
^^^Than I am sure you can look up the definition of selective?
I love how you guys respond only to the posts you think you can safely argue without looking like hypocrites....another word for you to look up....
I haven't seen many "adverse judgments or opinions formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts."~bosox~
^^^really?....you can't be serious? Humour me..what knowledge do you have of my personal circumstances presently?....Look closely at my posts bosox....I don't divulge those details...you really have no clue about me or my life...you presume instead of inquiring when you make comments that have nasty undertones.
I merely defend those you and the "mob" attack who share my personal opinions based on my own experiences, that may be similiar to theirs. I think it is important to defend and encourage...but then again I don't enjoy kicking puppies either....
BTW...look up sarcasim while you looking up the other definitions. You are definately a bit of a cold
I never take the first swing....but you can count on me biting back | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 2:17:36 AM |
1... No overnight stays...
If you like the woman enough this won't be a problem and will naturally evolve.
2... Sudden cancellations to plans... I've been sitting down to a great dinner in a nice restaurant and we have to drop everything and leave for a kid emergency...
fact of life with kids, whether yours or not, if you like the woman enough this won't be a problem and you'll naturally be concerned too, finishing your dinner will be the last thing on your mind because you'll know how worried she is, empathise, and want her not to be worried.
3... Kids may do whatever they can to ruin your relationship (See #2) Including accusations of just about anything.
It's natural for kids to be anxious about any new men in thier mother's life, they're kids and will naturally fear losing attention from thier mother. If you like the woman enough you will inherantly understand this and know that it is your job to work hard as the adult, gain trust and reassure the kids that they will not lose any of thier time with thier mother. Eventually, after you have put in enough hard work, because you think so much of this woman, the kids will come to trust you and this really won't be a problem. If the problem does persist, you are doing something really wrong, maybe the kids have a good reason to act out when you're around ?
4... You get to put up with all the flak the kids want to give you, but you are unable to have any say, discipline or argument on the matter... They can be little angels when mommy is watching and Satan incarnate when she's not there...
Kids won't automatically give you respect, if you like the woman enough, you'll nurture strong parenting skills, then this won't be a problem. If you set yourself up so that the kids think they can always behave like this when the mother is not around - you are doing something seriously wrong.
5... Anything you do costs more... Dinner in nice restaurants for 2 becomes dinner at McDonalds for 4... Hotels, don't ask... maybe need two rooms? or larger suite...?
Yep....if you can't afford kids, don't have them, or get a better job/earn more money or find aan SP that doesn't expect you to automatically split the bill all the time so you still have your money to yourself and are just paying your way. If you like the woman enough this wouldn't be a problem.
6... You and your girlfriend are welcome at your friend's cottages... You and your girlfriend and her kids are NOT welcome at your friend's cottages...
If you like the woman enough you'll find a way around this, pay for your own cottage that welcomes kids or get new friends that have kids, or welcome kids, with cottages if you're looking to save a few bucks.
7... Like walking around naked when it's just you and your G/F? Well, no more.... because it's never "just you and your G/F" anymore..
If you like the woman enough...yep, this won't be a problem. A trifling inconvenience to put your underwear on before you drop off to sleep to avoid any nasty suprises when the kids climb into bed in the morning or if you get up for the bathroom in the night.
8... Depending on the age of the kids, and their bedtimes determines what you do even if it's only watching television.... Arguments over what to watch are more interesting when you get to choose between Sesame Street or the Game.... You cannot win no matter the outcome...
If you like the woman enough, you'll work out a place separate to the kids to watch the game if it drives you this crazy, instead of sulking, remember that it was thier home first and you are the adult here.. Get a spare TV set and watch away, this one's a no-brainer !
9... If the kids get sick, EVERYONE gets sick! And Kids do get sick a lot....
yep, if you like the woman enough......this won't be a problem, and your immunity when it's all over will be through the roof - bonus.
10. Nothing kills the mood like having the kids open the door without knocking.... or the threat of it happening...
If you like the woman enough you'll work out that you can easily put a little lock on the inside..just unlock it when your "done". If the kids are having a genuine emergency, you won't mind this (refer to #2)
11. Money is usually tighter... if not for you, for her..
see #5
12. Get used to meeting the kids father all the time if he's around... and oddly enough, he may not like you... If you're not big on meeting your G/F's ex lovers, this can be a strain....
see #3 and #4, replace the word (kids) with (ex/father of the children)
13. Get used to hearing all about him... the kids love to tell you all the great things he does for them....
If you like the woman enough, you won't find this a problem. Because you care how she feels, and her happiness depends largely on the kids happiness, you'll empathise and think it's great that the guy is so good to his kids, which makes your woman happy, which makes you happy and possibly keeps your costs down if he's so great he buys them things, which free's up your woman and your's money for those Mc D specials, and pays towards holidays in those pesky cottages we were talking about earlier.
14. Get used to sometimes having to sit at home, while your G/F and her Ex go out together to do some kid related things....
If you like the woman enough this won't be a problem, you'll apprecaite that this is necessary and hey.....more time alone to watch the game in peace !
15. Your evening with your G/F doesn't really start until after the kid's bedtimes... or an hour or two and or a few interruptions later....
Yep.....if you like the woman enough this won't be a problem, and while she's running around bathing kids and doing chores, and reading bedtime stories, and getting bedtime drinks.....more time for the game that you've cleverly taped earlier !
16. Said evening means having the music or TV turned down low so as to not wake the little ones...
If you like the woman enough this won't be a problem, also you could get some headphones ?
17. Sometimes you will have to meet the kids grandparents from the Father's side... Oddly, they won't like you either...
see #3, 4 and 12, replace (ex/father of the children) with (ex's parents)
18. And consider this, if you do get involved long term with her and her kids... What happens to the kids if anything should happen to her...????
They go to that great guy that the kids are always talking about, or that great guys parents that don't like you, or to the womans parents, and you get on with your life.
.
 | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 5:30:30 AM |
I merely defend those you and the "mob" attack who share my personal opinions based on my own experiences, that may be similiar to theirs. I think it is important to defend and encourage...but then again I don't enjoy kicking puppies either....
Actually, a few of these people attacking were merely defending against the "mob" of single moms who labelled men who won't date single moms as "insecure", "selfish", "shallow" or "they suck" and so on....
And I like puppies too... but not when they crap all over the place....
BTW...look up sarcasim while you looking up the other definitions
I did... it's spelled differently though.... LOL | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 5:51:59 AM |
fact of life with kids, whether yours or not, But not a fact of life if there are no kids in the first place....
if you like the woman enough this won't be a problem and you'll naturally be concerned too, finishing your dinner will be the last thing on your mind because you'll know how worried she is, empathise, and want her not to be worried. Yep... and after the 10th or 12th 'false alarm'?????
If the kids are having a genuine emergency, you won't mind this (refer to #2) Yes, some of those genuine emergencies have been...
"Mom, I need a towel", "Mom, there's no bread", "Mom, the phone", "Mom, have you seen my hair dryer", "Mom, ???? is using my hair dryer",
"Mom..are you in there?", "Mom, is the phone in there, Oh, never mind, found it..."
What was the term I used, Oh yeah, false alarms....
If you like the woman enough you will inherantly understand this and know that it is your job to work hard as the adult, gain trust and reassure the kids that they will not lose any of thier time with thier mother. Eventually, after you have put in enough hard work, because you think so much of this woman, the kids will come to trust you and this really won't be a problem. Or... if there are no kids... you don't have to do this.. and there is no problem....
If the problem does persist, you are doing something really wrong, maybe the kids have a good reason to act out when you're around ?
In many cases, it has nothing to do with what the guy does right or wrong. It can be simply that the kids don't want him around as he competes with mom's attention... or they see him as a threat... or they just don't want any changes in their life... or any number of things... Fascinating how you decide it's the man's fault though if it can't be resolved......
Yep....if you can't afford kids, don't have them, I agree... and don't get involved with a woman with kids unless you can afford them...
this won't be a problem, and your immunity when it's all over will be through the roof - bonus Last I looked, there is no immunity to Pediculus humanus capitis....
or get a better job/earn more money or find aan SP that doesn't expect you to automatically split the bill all the time so you still have your money to yourself and are just paying your way. If you like the woman enough this wouldn't be a problem.
Ahhhh now here we go... why should the man get a better job/earn more money if he's comfortable where he is? Just to pay for the luxury of supporting another man's kids? I notice how you frmae it with " If you like the woman enough this wouldn't be a problem. " How about if you like the guy enough, you make sure your kids are supported enough that he doesn't need to change his job or increase his earnings... they are afterall YOUR kids not his...
see #3, 4 and 12, replace (ex/father of the children) with (ex's parents)
Seems to me that's the same thing.....
If you like the woman enough this won't be a problem, Especially if she doesn't have children....
Because you care how she feels, and her happiness depends largely on the kids happiness As opposed to how the guy makes her feel.... and who does his happiness depend on her? Hmmm seems to me that if it does, and her happiness depends on the kids, we're back to square one... the kids can ruin the relationship if they're not happy with it....
And consider this, if you do get involved long term with her and her kids... What happens to the kids if anything should happen to her...????
They go to that great guy that the kids are always talking about, or that great guys parents that don't like you, or to the womans parents, and you get on with your life. My point exactly... the whole concept of loving the children, taking care of them, raising and supporting them... and you are expected to just move on... | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 6:11:24 AM | | I've noticed a trend. The majority of people on here believed to be smart or "logical" come with an extra helping of douchebaggery. If being smart and logical (by many posters standards) goes hand in hand with being a rude azz clown I will pass. | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 7:32:58 AM | Yay for logic!
That said, I have a confession to make.
I have been seriously considering the possibility of dating a single mother.
::Everyone falls over::
Perhaps I will discuss this more later, but I don't feel like giving out details right now. And I am talking to a different girl in Charleston at this point so it's all hypothetical.
However, consider this (at least I did). The single mother we see posting all of these "nice single mom" threads, whining about how men don't like them...
Are usually so-so looking, or kind of homely, and not very smart.
What about the ones who are drop dead gorgeous, extremely intelligent, and were married when they had their kids... and got divorced young?
I have had to face the fact recently that there are some women who are awesome enough, and their kids are young enough that I would potentially consider it.
I know... it scared me too. | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 8:04:06 AM | Man that is scary ninja boy but not outside the realm of possibilities.
My theory on young or extremely attractive divorcees fall into two catagories.
1. They married based on looks and not substance and he most likely couldn't keep it in his pants. Most likely was still hitting on anything in a skirt including her best friend and once they had a child got caught. Instant yummy mummy with potential.
2. She thought the world revolved around her and when for far too long he wasn't adapting to her version of the world, she made his life hell to the point where he said see ya. Thus giving credence to the saying she may be a knockout but I'll put money on the fact that there is a guy out there that goy tired of the bs.
There are some extremely attractive single divorced women in my area and beyong that for the life of me I cannot understand that a man could screw it up by chasing another skirt when he had such a beauty for a wife. Ahh but I but a simple man who fell in love with a woman who was more interested in being a mother and decided to stop being a wife. Now she is an attractive single parent with a great kid to boot.
I'd date her but that door has closed long ago and now I wrestlle often about getting involved with another for two reasons. Sheer economics and the fear that if my ex could easily give up on a marraige to a guy who ain't that bad - never fooled around,
did housework, cooked, cared for childrenand never abused her or layed a finger on her in anger and wanted to grow old together with - who's to say that the next one will be any less fickle. I sure as hell don't want to go through losing a family twice, does any man? | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 8:11:45 AM | Couple of quick notes on Nothing Sweet and Church's response.
DVR is a great invention. That is how I as a single dad get my sports. Plus, I get to fast forward through the commerials.
You get a preview what it would be like to be married to this woman. Let's face it the kids aren't going to go away, ever. | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 8:16:24 AM | Every one has a different opinion. I have been a single mother for 10 years. Personally, 99% of my time while I was raising my kids who will now be 18 in a month, I was focused on making the best life for them on my own. I did not and would not introduce them to any male in my life. If I dated it had to be on the conditions that it was done on the weekend that they were with the ex. They were my first prioity. I never introduced them to anyone. I didn't need financial help because I made things work on my own. I did not want my children to be in a blended family when they were younger. Divorce hurts kids enough and I didn't want to put them through any more. Now that they are almost grown and off to college next fall I am looking at things differently. I deserve to have some life of my own but, only after I put my children first and raised them.
I can see both sides to all of this. Single moms esp. to little ones. Focus on what is best for the kids. They need to come first. Pour your strength and time into being the best example for them. They do grow up fast and than you will have time for yourself.
I have seen single women go after men for the money. They want,want,want and they can't do it on their own so they marry someone that can support them. I am not saying they are wrong but, I am saying that men do see this and that is why they feel the way they do. In the other respect, single moms do deserve to be happy, as well. We are not always to blame for our situations.
In a nut shell...if something is meant to be , it will be. Forcing anything is never good. Doing it for money or just to have a companion with someone that you really have no chemistry with is a terrible life to live. | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:58:53 PM |
I have been seriously considering the possibility of dating a single mother.
Sir, Sir !
(puts hand up)
Pick me soldier falcon Sir !
(puts hand back down)
Oh yeah, forgot you're in the states,
 | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 1:44:51 PM | I love how you guys respond only to the posts you think you can safely argue without looking like hypocrites....another word for you to look up....
I don't read all of your posts.
really?....you can't be serious? Humour me..what knowledge do you have of my personal circumstances presently?....Look closely at my posts bosox....I don't divulge those details...you really have no clue about me or my life...you presume instead of inquiring when you make comments that have nasty undertones.
I merely defend those you and the "mob" attack who share my personal opinions based on my own experiences, that may be similiar to theirs. I think it is important to defend and encourage...but then again I don't enjoy kicking puppies either....
What are you talking about? We're talking about listing pros/cons for dating single mothers as a general rule. Some of them are true for all single mothers, some not. "Many" does not mean "all", or "lizbeth2".
BTW...look up sarcasim while you looking up the other definitions. You are definately a bit of a cold
I couldn't find sarcasim. You'll have to tell me what that means in lizbeth2 language.
I never take the first swing....but you can count on me biting back
You've personally attacked me without provocation, so now I don't like you. Your misuse of the tilde annoys the hell out of me. You constantly copy/paste the dictionary, but you are constantly misspelling words.
I was standing up for m_church, not attacking you. You certainly are a voluble simulacrum for twaddle. | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 2:03:02 PM | Poptartboy cracks me up especially when he just continuously slags single moms and is still most likely making a few panties wet because of his bad boy attitude. A statement I made a few days ago in a different thread.
Sir, Sir !
(puts hand up)
Pick me soldier falcon Sir !
(puts hand back down)
Oh yeah, forgot you're in the states ----------,nothing_sweet_about_me
Thank you for proving my previous point. You are most likely the only one out there with a damp computer chair. Women are truly hilarious creatures of predictability. | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 2:05:18 PM | "I have been seriously considering the possibility of dating a single mother".
If that happens... after so many times you have said you wouldn't do it... it will reinforce my criteria that doesn't depend of the status of single mother by itself but, because her attitude: toward life, her partner and within her child/ren -raising them on well manners regarding social projection instead of mommy's dearest spoiled brat/s.
Incidentally, with the fact that behaviour can be controlled while emotions and feelings can't.
Coincidentally, with other posters claim they are willing to date single mothers and other single mothers claiming they never have a problem finding dates.
Congratulations on your finding and good luck in your endeavor.
Not exactly quoting from a movie... it's preferable a moment of her breath than an eternity without it. | |
|
| nothing
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:01:05 PM | | i actually prefer woman wit kid kids, i think its well sexy they more mature more experienced and u can generally have a better time with them they are hot thats froma male point of view | |
|
| nothing
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:09:39 PM | If I ever take the plunge, she would have to be a ridiculously incredible woman.
And previously married.
I didn't say I'm going to head down the welfare office today and try to score a breeder...
Just that recent friends of mine have made me think that maybe the black and white approach is not truly honest for me.
-8sf8 | |
|
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:53:03 PM | 
Bravo! I appreciate a woman stating it like it is. Fact is, as a single mom of not one or two or even three children, but five, I understand that we all have preferences. REGARDLESS of whether or not we are on here looking to meet the perfect person to compliment our lives as single parents or single period, each and everyone of us have preferences. It is my belief to meet that "perfect" person, we need to be happy with who and what we are already.
I have met a few losers... but I have also met a few quality men where the relationship did not work out for various reasons. The losers... just walk away from and be glad you didn't end up having kids with them! The others, look at it as a learning experience and move on. There are other proverbial fish in the sea ... slow down and enjoy the ride. | |
|
| |
| Whats wrong with a single parent woman?
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:54:47 PM |
I would say that a woman who puts off having children until she is educated, has a decent career, and is married to a good man who is good father material is a probably going to be a good mother.
I did everything right second time around and yet ended up a single mother, you never know what can happen. | |
|
|
| Page 6 of 11
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 |
|
Home
login 
