jbogie
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Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 51 | |
| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:51:03 PM | Just curious....is this a real deal breaker in men's eyes?
the only thing that can be said with any accuracy is that it's a deal breaker in this one man's eye.
Would like to know what men really want.
hmmm, seems there's something in the neighborhood of 3.2 billion men on the planet. which one would you like to start with? but let me say i only know a tiny fraction of that and i may be able to get but a very few to come here to give you their answer. as for me? i love curvy gals. short answer made way too long i know but there's another point in there. | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 9/10/2009 7:10:49 PM |
This happened to me recently. A very sweet man, intelligent, and artistic. Told me that I was too heavy to make love to. Let alone marry. He said if I lose the weight he'd marry me. He is an older man. He is petite for a man, however very strong physically.
That's what he said.. "lose the weight and I will marry you"
First....he says..."lose the weight and I will make love to you"...
So there has not been lovemaking in the biblical sense.
Just curious....is this a real deal breaker in men's eyes? Would like to know what men really want. A good hearted optimistic funny and loving woman...or skinny .
I am not big enough to go fishing in a BBW/BBM river. I am a small rubenesque...with some help and a little time my weight fluctuates...everything else is fine. Just wish to know is this a big deal with you men.
What say ye all to that? Otherwise, he says I am THE WOMAN amongs ALL women~ I have the best personality and the most wonderful way of treating a man. Yet, this is still not enough.
Not making love for years, leaves a woman, hungry for love....and also making love is a great way to lose weight.
These kind of questions always depress me. The fact that you're staying with someone like that I mean. What I would tell him in response is that other than his looks and personality he's the perfect man for you. If he could just change those two small things about himself you'd marry him. He sounds neither sweet nor intelligent to me.  | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 9/10/2009 9:51:08 PM | Hugme...
It has been nearly a month since your last post... we need an update!
Did you kick him to the curb? Or ... Maybe when you were getting intimate you declared there was a problem with his... uh... unit... and suggested when he gets significantly larger for you (surgically enhanced, perhaps?), you will get significantly smaller for him!
Oh please do tell, or we will have to get get more creative and/or rediculous on this here thread! | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 9/13/2009 4:38:18 PM | OMG... Really????????????
I am so sorry that you even allowed yourself a second though of the obviously intentionally hurtful remarks made by this "man".
You could waste your time and energy giving him some piece of mind or sound advice but it would fall on deaf ears.
He is an Emotional Abuser and i suggest you run as fast as you can away from this man.
Block his Texts, calls ,e-mails, chat any way he has to contact you .. It is unfortunate that he has been to your place... Just hope he is not a stalker as well... But if you have even a hint that he is lurking outside.. call the police..
This is the way abusive relationships start....
He is not a sweet man.... he didn't say some unthoughtful words... he found his prey and has begun his hunt...
Please steer clear.....
Just one last piece of advice... I am A true Big Woman, BBW, SSBBW, Thick, Curvy, Voluptuous, Rubenesque...whatever you want to call it.. and there are plenty of men who are attracted to me on every level and my philosophy is this..." you either like me or you don't"
I may or may not change my physical appearance and my weight may fluctuate over the years up and down, But if you don't love me and want me for who i am today...keep moving!
I think your beautiful and never let anyone tell you otherwise...including yourself! | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 9/14/2009 12:51:19 PM | | Thank you... It has taken me many years to reach this point but for atleast the past 8 years this has worked well for me and helped with my self-esteem and body image as well as my love life. | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:40:08 PM |  you actually told him he might not be big enough?? he deserved that. i dont get why he picked you to begin with if he already knew he didn't like the body type. that would have been my quick dump to him. i've known guys who would emotionally play with women who wanted the guys but the guys only wanted specific barbie features. it's up to the women to walk away from those situations. but in those situations, those guys are either dating and usually having sex or moving toward marriage with women who are the closest physical look, or else they are just sitting and refuse to date anybody who isn't that look. they don't date someone and keep telling her to get skinnier and promise her sex if she'll only get skinnier:(:( usually if a guy is not attracted to me/girl, he will ignore me/girl. i try not to put myself in anybody's face very often or very long because that just gives him the opportunity to play with me if he's not attracted. keep us updated!!!! | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 9/26/2009 8:43:27 AM |
guys who would emotionally play with women who wanted the guys but the guys only wanted specific barbie features.
I've known men who admit to liking a more full-figured girl, but they were often more concerned with what their Buddies would think.
Just as well. If you can weed out the immature boys who are living by the herd mentality, just do it quickly for your own sake. | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 9/26/2009 3:41:38 PM | Why do you even listen to this crap!!!!!!!!!
What next? Your hair is to dark, your teeth aren't straight?
If someone is in love, looks are nothing, the man is looking for type and you almost fit it. But what happens when he finds one that fits it perfectly without needing to make changes?
Stop treating him like a king and see how long the little joker sticks around | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:30:57 AM |
Just curious....is this a real deal breaker in men's eyes?
Obviously it is in his eyes and physical attraction is obviously very very and oh so important to " him " regardless how others may view or feel about physical attraction and body type preferences.
Clearly the man is honest to a fault. Lets just say that he were to put it another way. How would he say you are the one except for your weight. Its not you its me ?
Bottom line he is not the one for you and vica versa....
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:10:25 PM | The guy doesn't like fat chicks! whats the problem? get over it and move on, or start going to weight watchers.
you dont hear bald, short or poor guys whining when a gal rejects him for a superficial reason. -oh wait... | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:35:12 PM | | I think it is all a matter of personal preference. I have met men on POF that have told me I am too skinny for them. I appreciated the honesty, but given the chance would have loved to hit the dessert bar with them! LOL!! | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 10/10/2009 10:12:23 PM | Don't take if, ands, or butts in a relationship. You are who you are and you look beautiful. Who you are inside is most important and that speaks for who and what you will become as you age.... everything shifts as we get older, except for our hearts, unless we allow some jerk to head trip us.
I say... run and don't look back and don't ever make an excuse for who or what you are. YOU are perfect just as you are.... I always say "perfectly imperfect just as I should be"....
Take care | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 10/13/2009 7:19:33 PM | And...guess what? You would not believe this..however...
Mr. Sweet Man, told me it was alright if I found a lover meanwhile , while I lose weight...and then when I do lose the weight...he would be there for me.
Also he is sending me articles from somewhere saying that Treadmills, are useless in helping to get weight off.
I couldn't believe he would give me his blessing to make love with someone else...and then he'd marry me when my weight goes down. He gave me his blessing to do this...wow.
So....I am back fishing for someone who will love me for the woman I am..beautiful inside and out. 
Thank you for all your input....what do you think of his last comments I posted here?
let me know.
On another more possitive note:
Now where can I post a romantic poem? Anyone know? What thread...and I'd like comments on my writing as well.  | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 10/13/2009 7:51:01 PM | P.S. to someone up there who advised me not to treat him like a King......I did stop that when I saw the train coming and he talked to me like that.
I was very sweet and cordial when he came over,I gave him big hugs, and treated him like a King
...and then I forgot to say...one day...he brought up his laundry bag....and we were going to watch the car races on t.v. and share some food.....I saw the bag...and said .."what's that for...?" And he said..he had to do his laundry so he put it in his car, after he heard I was going to do my laundry that day.
When he left later on......I didn't touch his laundry in the bag. And when he came back to get a few things he left behind...his charger for his phone..he forgot that it was left in the socket where it was charging his phone...He saw the laundry...and said..."What's that?"
I said "that....is your laundry".......he looked puzzled...as he picked up the bag and then left.
He says he misses me....and How I was with him.....(can you imagine that?) He says he thinks my personality and heart are sooooo wonderful, and I really know how to treat a man....... and he misses that. He did say how beautiful he thought I was.
I didn't need him to tell me that. I know that already.
pppffffff.... | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 10/13/2009 8:45:37 PM | Sorry OP but this just seems like it's drenched in a lot of drama. I've read a lot of this thread and it's almost sounding unbearable.
I could never tell someone his thing was too little, no matter what he did or said to me. I just couldn't. | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:14:52 PM | I retract the part where it says I told him he was too small....I actually did not say those words....
He said he"was too small for my belly for him to get on top of me to get himself inside of me"...that is really kind of how it went. He said he could not manage that.
He is a petite man...and I never said anything to hurt his feelings...just kept my mouth shut and listened to him talk....
He said that...and I said.."my belly is not that big"..and he patted me on my belly and said...it was. He is not small there...so I also would not have said that whether he was or not..... It was My tummy he was concerned with...He said he thought my tummy was too much for him to attempt a try.
Note: I am not that big.
I dropped the subject. In the end....we are friends , he conciders me and him friends...so be it.
I am sorry I wrote the words wrong there .. did't realize it. But he said it before me...and I just answered him about my tummy...and then the subject was dropped. I complimented him on his manliness and just said..well, I guess I won't be getting that till I lose the weight huh?....and he smiled and hugged me and that was that...
Sorry I worded it that way.. I should have previewed what I wrote before the post clicker ... | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 10/14/2009 12:08:06 AM | | Do you think he might be gay or asexual? Why would you subject yourself to this guy. He does not sound very good for your self esteem to have him around. I know if I'm not into an lady I move on. | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 10/14/2009 2:03:27 PM | ya know?...good question....I don't really know...he claims he is all man and only likes women....
no matter, I am not subjecting myself to him anymore. I wished him well. And I am going forth with my life. Life is too short for such nonsense.
And thank you for your comment. | |
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 10/23/2009 9:02:34 PM | Just an update dear friends,
I am so over this thing . I have been assured and do believe that I am, as I always was and will always be....no matter what the outer shell looks like right now....beautiful, sexy, desireable, and the whole package.
And I am not worrying about what that man said anymore.
Too bad the gentleman in question, that I wrote about does not feel that I am desireable because of my tummy, being in the way, and he thought he could not make love to me..... I shall not buy into that negativity again.
My tummy isn't tight as a board anymore..it is soft and connected to my curvy and womanly body which is just fine, and he is just one of those who lost out on something wonderful.
I wish him well.
I feel beautiful inside and out, and I feel like a Goddess. All women should feel like a Goddess from deep inside. It is in the mind and in the heart!
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| A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this.
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:46:46 AM | Hi! Former BBW model here...
Two words for you beautiful: control freak. In my opinion, this person just signaled to you that he needs to direct in order to handle a relationship; those who say things like tend to not relate but dictate instead.
Red Flag! Seems there exists a need to dominate and not in a good way.
I'm sorry that happened to you. | |
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