| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:57:32 PM | | When I was married, my stepson was 11 yrs old. When Z got to be 2, they rough housed, as did his cousins. Z always thought he was grown. Now my son is 17. I have always noticed he seemed mature beyond his years cause he grew up with kids much older than him. | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:34:05 AM | That is an interesting point as well, Barbee. I think my stepson's age may have something to do with my daughter seeming to have been born mature, or an old soul or however you choose to look at it. There were also always older and younger cousins around like I imagine Sassy experienced because of the wide range in age of the original siblings.
My youngest son, has througout his life tagged around with older sister and brother and my best friend has kids the same age so when our same-age boys get sick of hanging with each other, it is like they swap, her 10-year-old will be hanging with my 14-year-old and vice versa. We forget my little one's age because as another parent put it, he isn't a normal 10-year-old, more like 12 or so, lol. We have to remember the days he is acting like a total turd that he is 10. | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:58:20 AM |
Hi, Well, I am in the same boat your in. I have a 15 year old and a 3 year old. I can tell you they are crazy about each other.
That is so true. In fact, many of my older son's friends (who don't have small children in their homes) will come over to play with the toddlers. It's a novelty for them. Our babysitter comes over to "babysit" with random frequency because she'd rather sit with the kids at our place than sit at home. I think that goes back to the whole community-child rearing thing. | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 8/30/2009 10:51:53 PM | well i have to say that mine are only 8 yrs apart. My one daughter just turn 8 a couple of days ago, an i am pregnant with my 2nd daughter who will be born the end of Oct. So I am hoping that the age gap wont be to bad when they get older.
I am the oldest of 3 kids, Iam 31 my one brother is 29 anmy other brother is 25. there is a 6 yrs difference with my youngest brother an myself but when we were growning up we really didnt fight or anything we got along just fine. | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 8/30/2009 11:06:22 PM | | My oldest is 13 and youngest is 2. When their mom was here, the 13 yr old was moms little slave and had to care for her siblings and her mom while I was working. Now she doesn't have thoughs responsiblities and can be just a sister. shes getting older and out growing the cartoons and dolls but still has fun with her siblings. | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 8/31/2009 1:57:28 AM | my oldest sister is 18 years older then me ,
second oldest sister is 13 years older
oldest brother is 16 years older
second oldest bro is 11 years or so
im the baby of the fam , were all extremely close, and get along good ,the only negative that i have found is that when i was born the two oldest were out of the house, so i only grew up around 2 of them and those two im very close and i can actually go in depth about their personality
my oldest sister and the oldest bro , i kno them but i dont reallly know them, i dont know any of their high school experience first hand, i wasnt around during first bfs/gfs etc, i didnt grow up with them
its something that i wish to avoid later on in my life with my own children , i want some years apart but not so many that you miss out on everything about them | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 9/2/2009 11:23:11 PM | | I love the age gap of my kids. My oldest is 32, then 29-both married with their own kids. Then there's the 23 and 20 yr olds. My little one is 8. They all adore her. They love to babysit for her. Since my husband died (yes, he was th father of all of them) suddenly at 48, 3 yrs ago, I couldn't imagine not having my older kids in her life. Don't worry about it-it will all work out-they may go through periods when they are doing different things, but they will always come back to each other. | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 9/3/2009 1:28:53 AM | the pros
you have more patience...more wisdom
appreciate being a parent
your olderchild...can help you
less worried ...since this is the second time around
less anal...more open minded
more ideas...willing to do more in a group
cons
tired and frustrated...no energy
have to find a babysitter
no time for one self
have to socialize with other people with younger kids...noise
spend money on their needs
can not be spontaneous with hubby...need to plan special days for you and your honey
careful with expensive items in the house
saving money for university
have to get a family car...no dream sports car
shop at wal mart...or second harnd stores
lots of family movies...going to burger king often
pros outweighs the cons
personally ...i have an eighteen year-old son...i have two nieces and a nephew...they have an age gap...10 years from oldest to youngest
my sister seems to appreciate and love her son who is 12 years old
she is a grandmother to two darlings
that makes me a great aunt...i spend a lot of time with them
love it...second chance on being a mother
cooking better meals...doing more activities
appreciating their age
time has passed with my son
good luck | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 9/3/2009 11:40:38 AM | | My son was 14-1/2 when his baby sister was born....and their mother passed away about 3 weeks later, so it was just the three of us for a number of years. He was a great big brother and a huge help....he was doing diapers and bottles almost from day one. They have never had a cross word between them....ever......and they are still very close today (she is 12 and he is almost 27) even though we don't see him very often. | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:06:11 AM | | My stepdaughter (I raised her for 10 yrs) is 26. My kids are 24, 19, 17 and 14. They can fight at times like you wouldn't believe. They can also be the closest siblings you can imagine at others. When I moved to Boise about 2 yrs ago, my stepdaughter found a house about 10 min away. My oldest boy shared the house. My next boy found an apartment also 10 min away for 6 months, then moved next door to his sister and brother. No matter who is livng where, they all see each other frequently and my kids are always making plans to go "hang out" with one of their siblings. They each have their favorite and their favorite changes constantly. The best thing is that the oleder ones have more influence with the younger ones than any parent ever could. It helps to have the positive influences in their lives. | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:48:39 AM | My oldest brother is 12 years older than I. He was my little league coach, I remember going with him to his girlfriend's house when I was very young, but I don't know why. When my dad got sick, I practically lived with him for a summer.
For reasons I don't really know we're not as close now as we were when I was younger. I guess it's b/c we have our own families now. | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 10/27/2009 7:36:24 PM | | I am the youngest of 4 kids. I have 3 sisters who are 11 and half, 9, and 7 years older than me. Alot of people make a big deal about our age differences and ask me if I was an accident. I tell them no I was not. I was planned. Then they ask why is there such an age difference, I tell them my mom had 5 miscarriages before me. My 2 older sisters have been more like mothers to me. The 3rd one is still jealous to me to this day. I love them all. I was raised as an only child since age 11 and half. My parents become my best friends. I had trouble with my sisters when I was younger because the youngest and only child left at home means you get a lot of attention. My parents were 37 and 35 when they had me ... growing up kids would say I had old parents. | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:10:42 AM | I think I read somehwre that the optimum agae gap between children is 5 years. My daughter is nine now and I'm still not sure whether I'll have any more. I'm 37 at the moment and planning to retire in my mid-forties so I guess it's still an option (assuming that my fertility age is still ok...must go get that checked out). It's encouraging to read here the stories of siblings wih very large age gaps growing closer as they get older. I've always felt a little selfish because I didn't pop out 2 or three in a row, as all my friends seemed to do.
Personally I think that children very close together compete a lot, this isn't always a good thing. There are months rather than years between my sister and I, and her and my brother. We do have a younger sister (there are 5 years between her and my brother) who has a different Dad, we all left home very early and she stayed home for a long time, so I think our relationship is different with her because she was the only one at home for a long time and the dynamic between her and our mother was very different than what we had with our mother. I'm hoping that the relationship will get closer as she gets older but no sign of that as yet. | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:55:30 PM | My kids are 5yrs apart, not by intention. My daughter was my precious surprise after many years of trying and nothing.
I never wanted kids to be that far apart in age, my sister and I were 3 and it seemed to work for us. But things rarely work the way we intend, eh?
But this works really well for my kids. My son likes to protect and teach his lil buddy and she LOVES her big bubbies. There is no sibling rivalry, they are the best of friends and I don't think it would have worked out so well if they were closer in age. 
I think the future will be very much as it is now. He will always be her guardian and she will always look up to him as such. She will be his buddy and princess, he will be her hero and partner in crime.  | |
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| Extra large age gap between children?
Posted: 10/29/2009 9:08:11 PM | | My dad has much younger kids too. Unfortunately I don't know him or them as well as I would like. I did not meet my dad until I found him online 1 yr ago. I am 41 and his 2 adopted kids are 5 & 6.They live on the other side of the country, but I did go out and spend a weekend with them last yr and have tried to stay in touch. The kids are adorable and my dad and his wife seem really nice. | |
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