| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 3:35:28 PM | "Maybe someone should start a petition to outlaw the terms girlfriends and
boyfriends on anyone over the age of 18."
Absolutely I will vote for that. Doesn't alarm bells go off for people when slang demotes adult to being children. I never your the words fg or bf. It is always ladyfriends or menfriends. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 4:31:07 PM | | My female friends and I call each other 'girlfriend' and we certainly don't take offense to it. I don't look at the term 'girl' as being derogatory and I don't think that most people who use the word are trying to be offensive. I am a woman, but I'm not so insecure that I would take offense, or think that someone was being demeaning, by calling me a girl. It's a lighthearted, affectionate term, in my opinion. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 5:14:56 PM | "I don't look at the term 'girl' as being derogatory and I don't think that most people who use the word are trying to be offensive. It's a lighthearted, affectionate term,"
Please people think about it. If someone called you a baby, and older ager you would see it as derogatory. Do most people need to feel like a child to feel love and accepted.
When I am out and a man calls me a girl, I call him a boy, and every time he gets mad. Surprise, surprise
Just another way society works on making people compliant. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 5:21:58 PM | who are you to decipher whether a woman is mature or not by glancing at her profile pictures?
if these women don't appeal to you, c'est la vie.
your profile isn't exactly scintillatingly jam packed with relevant information and the lack of a picture is telling for me.....especially when you say you are not single/not looking.?????
we all have differing taste in music, films, entertainment, life style, etc.,. this is a part of what makes us appealing to potential partners/friends.
as for being "pathetic". i can think of nothing more pathetic than a morose 45 year old man who has forgotten how to enjoy himself and have a good time.
assuming of course that he ever did.....
"age appropiate".....funnneeeee | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 5:38:03 PM | What the hell ever happened to live and let live?
People offended by others profiles,,,
People offended by being called something that refers to being younger (or immature by some),,,
People offended by others NOT being offended by being called something that refers to younger,,,
People offended by others being offended by others not being offended by others,,, blah blah blah
The OP was asking about root causes and few answered and instead nitpicked on other stuff.
OP, in answer to your question,,,
Drugs and alcohol can work wonders or disasters.
Alcohol and drugs can delay the maturing process.
Drugs and alcohol can relieve inner pain.
Alcohol and drugs can make people forget.
Some people need to escape much more often than others...
Some people have more things to forget than others...
I take it at face value if I see pics of someone with bottle in hand, glass in hand, bottle tipped upside down and pics of someone who's clearly buzzed...
Honestly, in my local area, I have seen very few profiles that have pics like that. Maybe it's the area you're in that's conducive to that lifestyle? | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 5:47:45 PM |
If someone called you a baby
I would hope he was whispering it in my ear ...
Seriously whatever term someone prefers to express themselves now is not a slam...i mean the term for girlfriend in some cultures in "shorty".
A man (boy) can call me woman, lady, girl or baby or anything else. I know who I am and dont need someone else to make a term have more meaning than it actually does.
Some people want to live in a sterile world and have everyone else be a clone of their miserable existence and then I bet they still wouldn't be happy. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 5:50:42 PM |
Some people want to live in a sterile world and have everyone else be a clone of their miserable existence and then I bet they still wouldn't be happy.
nods in agreement with the babygirlshorty
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 5:56:32 PM | | The above response is a perfect example...I think I read more emails that start out with Fun, fun, & more fun. Physical, blah, blah - what else is on the menu? Unless, you just got married straight out of high school - been there done that. Still do it but give me some substance by now! Boring. Seriously, thats all fine but when we reach our age & lived, raised families, our careers, divorces, life-seems like we need to have more to share. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 5:59:48 PM | "Some people want to live in a sterile world and have everyone else be a clone of their miserable existence and then I bet they still wouldn't be happy."
Yet another judgement/whine of others.
When I stop seeing the poor me threads..........the they don't respect me threads..........then I will know people are happy.
This has nothing to to with sterility..............and if you don't get that..............sigh!
In my work day, I own a couple of companies, and then people who don't know me in every day life, expect it is cute to call me a girl..................sigh yet again.
Address me as Madame President from now on!
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 6:06:05 PM | A) I didn't say call you baby.
B) I said call you a baby.
Big difference. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 6:32:46 PM | moraime - Msg 60
Address me as Madame President from now on!
That' s much too long - would "Madame" do? | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 7:40:54 PM | I wondered which creature would come back with that response.
TA we wouldn't be meeting on a personal level. If you come in contact with me in business, it will definately be Madame President. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 7:52:24 PM |
OPie, perhaps it's your location? I get way more than the expected share of lawyers when I click on those thumbnails at the top of my mailbox. (my area includes D.C.)
I have considered that. I lived in DC for three years. Where I live now is an area populated largely by people who proudly refer to themselves as "white trash" or "rednecks."
Go figure. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:01:12 PM |
That' s much too long - would "Madame" do?
In France, where civilization exists at its finest, Madame does very nicely. It is a term of deference, courtesy and respect.
Madam...on the otherhand....not so much. A little "e" makes the world of difference. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:06:51 PM | so i guess you are wanting a pic of them sitting on the toilet instead, listening to classical music and reading a history novel? give me a break! most people don't take cameras around in their daily activities. they take pictures when, that one or two times they've gone out that month, they happened to be dressed up! just like others take pics when they are hiking...usually out doing something "active".
i live in an area that supports the arts. there are many music and dancing venues, with most people 45 + attending--both men and women. are you saying these people are not age appropriate? because they like to dance? there is a bar? they decided to take a pic of themselves and friends at the event? they are not men and women, they are boys and girls? 'cause this comment sounds pretty "high school" and whiney to me. of course, nothing personal! for the most part, i don't see pics like this. unless i am clicking on someone who is not all there. or maybe as said before, they are at a pof party. it's like claiming that when a guy takes a pic of an event with his daughter, he's accused of using her for arm candy! i know some men whose minds were just blown away from those sorts of accusations, when all they were doing was showing that they were proud fathers. so, are they now "boys" also? 
moraima, i assume by NA you are talking north america? for awhile there i thought you were throwing stones at narcotics anonymous!  | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:15:13 PM | Personally, I don't remember ever having been called 'a girl' in a manner that was intended to make me seem less of a woman. My friends and I have 'Girls' Night Out' occasionally and we aren't demeaning ourselves. One of my dearest male friends often says to me, "You are such a good girl", meaning you are such wonderful person. He says it as a compliment and I take it as such. I wouldn't think of saying to him, "How dare you refer to me as a girl? I am a grown woman and I expect you to refer to me as such." If I did say such a thing, I'd expect him to, from thereon, refer to me as "B*tch", and he'd be justified in doing so, in my opinion.
If some women resent being called 'girl', that is their prerogative. If they feel the title, 'woman' somehow makes them more respected, that's their opinion. As long as someone isn't calling me derogatory or demeaning names, they can pretty much call me what they are comfortable with, be that 'girl', 'gal', miss, ma'am, 'honey', 'darlin', etc.
There is a difference between calling a woman a girl and a man a boy. 'Boy' has been a derogatory term for men since whites used the term to refer to black men. 'Girl' does not have the same stigma. I've NEVER met anyone who used the term 'girl' as an insult. Calling a man a 'boy' is used specifically as an insult. It is used to insinuate that the man in question is less of a man. The term 'girl' is used in a much more complimentary fashion, to suggest a woman is still young and vibrant, whether she is or not. Maybe that's why so many women seem to think they look much younger than they are! LOL That's meant as a joke, Ladies!!! | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:39:13 PM | Two things:
1. So who cares who parties, when ... as many other posters said it ..... their choice .... I like to spend time with friends ... go to a club where a good band is playing .... and let loose on the dance floor ... now I will admit that I think about what I wear when i go, as I don't want to look like I am trying to be too young ... and mostly don't want to be considered a "cougar" or MIL** .... which are a couple of terms that I personally find unsettling to say the least .... I will do what I want when I want ... as long as its not illegal ... Ok, well maybe as long as I don't get caught :)
2. As to the whole girl vs woman or lady or whatever .... its kind of funny how people view certain words and depending on where you grew up or the circles you run in .... it can be viewed differently ... I think of girls as a fond way of talking about friends ..... however I was corrected a few years ago by a group of women who told me that using the word "girl" takes them back to the days when the boss would say I'll get my "girl" to get that ... I gather they viewed it as a derogatory term referencing women being the low "man" so to speak on the ladder to any kind of career success.... Do I think its all in the way its said and meant ... it should be .. but we are in this society - sometimes overly politically correct - hence our current situation.... | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:00:36 PM | sheepdog661
it was nice that you took the time to explain your presence on pof.
very nice, in my opinion, since you had no obligation to do so.
kaylee | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:01:53 PM |
As I've looked at the POF profiles, I've noticed a trend. Many women around my age (I'm 45 for a little while longer) are not growing up. Their profiles are all about partying and all of their pics were taken at bars. Their taste in entertainment (TV, movies, music) leads me to believe we'd have nothing to talk about. They are not women; they're girls.
I'm all for cutting loose and having a good time, but it seems there comes an age where you move from "age-appropriate" to "pathetic." I'm sure the same thing goes for boys/men as well, but I don't spend a lot of time looking at their profiles.
So is this a valid observation? If so, any ideas as to the root causes? I have a few opinions on the matter, but I'll let people chime in first.
I am not big on bars, etc.... but I go more now than I did in my younger years (I am 48). When I do, I am not drinking booze, I usually drink pop or sometimes coffee, as I have to drive myself home. I go to enjoy myself, hang out with friends, and most commonly, see a live band. If you enjoy friends and good live music, there are not many other venues that offer that.... part of our society whether we like it or not. Please tell me how that is not "age appropriate" behaviour?
I think we cannot win, no matter what we do..... we women are to blame for so many problems in SOME (not all) men's worlds. We are too negative if we aren't smiling in our pics..... we are too immature if we are smiling and having fun in our pics..... we are too "easy" if we show cleavage in our pics..... we are sexless and passionless if we don't fall within the 3-date rule. I could go on, but you get the point.... in short, we just can't win.
How about we just be ourselves, and do what works for us and if you see something that tweaks your interest, you send us a message and ASK..... assumptions are not exactly considered effective communication. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:17:53 PM | | Sorry, I am having more fun then I did in my 20s, whether its to a club or traveling,pr parties, etc. If you don't like the fact that there are women in their 40s who havent retired to the rocking chair, then I suggest you look for the women who have decided life is over for them. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:40:32 PM | "
You are such a f'uckin' baby.
Baby, you look sensational!
Don't be such a girl.
Girl, you rock my world. "
Well said golfgirl. grins.
My profile shows me in a bar ... oh shockers ... duh ... that is where the karaoke is. Anyone not ready to go karaoke in a bar can pass me by. grins.
I turn 9 years old when I walk through the gates of Disneyland. You run from ride to ride. you know how to cleverly work those speed passes ... Tom Sawyer Island is about popping out of places and startling each other. If you want to do it sedately, go with someone else. grins.
I am an extremely responsible scuba diver. When it is a choice of chasing the runaway camera or the runaway dive buddy, I always stay with the buddy (and do better at not losing cameras). However, like a 2 year old I can stare in fascination for minutes at a tiny fish or a piece of coral. macrophotography! oh yea!.
I take care of all of my responsibilities. Work hard and professionally, take care of my home ... and know how to have a great time without getting drunk or anything over .06. Dancing, singing, movies, cruising travel.... party.
Lighten up all right all ready. Heavens.... dulllsville ranks right down there with the old rocking chair rut. A rut is a grave still open at either end. dead people who haven't stopped breathing yet.
I detest the label 'ms' and I am not a miss or mrs.... which was one part of why I earned the label Dr. solves the problem of what initials to put before my first name. grins.
Dr. Connie | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/11/2009 7:28:31 AM | The fishers who find interest in the Party-girl profiles may be the right person for that girl/?woman, which is the point of "fishing" for what you are looking to connect with. If you look at my profile, it doesn't read that way... and those who are interested in slamming shots with female friends in bars for a good time are not the right guy for me to connect with, and won't be reading my profile (which works for me)...
There are lots of more cerebral women who want to have a conversation (over a drink sometimes, too), laugh and enjoy life with a member of the opposite sex. If a profile is not in the vein you are looking for, click off. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/12/2009 3:38:54 AM | | I have a lots of energy so I have a life !!! It dosn't bother me if the rest of the world thinks I am a girl as long as ONE man thinks I am a full bloodied woman... | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:55:26 AM |
As I've looked at the POF profiles, I've noticed a trend. Many women around my age (I'm 45 for a little while longer) are not growing up. Their profiles are all about partying and all of their pics were taken at bars. Their taste in entertainment (TV, movies, music) leads me to believe we'd have nothing to talk about. They are not women; they're girls.
I'm all for cutting loose and having a good time, but it seems there comes an age where you move from "age-appropriate" to "pathetic." I'm sure the same thing goes for boys/men as well, but I don't spend a lot of time looking at their profiles.
So is this a valid observation? ....
I think a lot of these responses have missed the original point here. I don't think the OP is condemning people that go to bars, but rather that many 45+ people create a profile that is loaded with pictures of them drinking in a bar. I've sometimes had the same thought. I understand the regular PoF party folks will put a pic or two up from the last party and that's fine.
We're all used to seeing pictures of motorcycles, dogs, families, hobbies and it's great that people will show you what's important in their life. When you run across a profile that shows 4 or more pics of someone boozing it up in the bar, you have to assume that's her favorite hobby. I basically only look at 50+ profiles and at times I scratch my head about what they are trying to convey and more importantly what kind of guy they expect to lure.
Different strokes for different folks and it's all good. But like the OP, I sometimes wonder just WTF . | |
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