| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:45:31 PM |
Saturday she didn't call me. Today she did while I was working around 4:20 am. She wanted to know how I was feeling. She was telling me that she's excited because he is buying her a Nintendo Wii and new clothes. She was telling me that she lost weight.
I told her if I still have a chance with you and she said no. I told her why and she replied with "because he loves me." After that, she told me about the engagement ring he bought her and it was pretty....blah blah blah...
I asked myself, "You are with him because he loves you. What about you?"
Dood, just reread that...what the **** do you care about all the new toys she got? She wants you to obsess over her...yeah she cheated on you...cause it would make her more important to someone new...I'd be willing to bet it doesn't have shit to do with you or who you are or how you two interacted and everything to do with her selfish need to be the center of gods perfect world made just for her.
I too am sitting in a half empty apartment. The girl I was with up and decided she didn't want to leave her (x) husband once he demanded full custody of their only child (but of course our breakup had nothing to do with that right...wink wink)...months later she cheated on him again and moved to PA with some other guy she never met before...lol. Like everyone else here has said...some people are toxic. They don't give two shits about you unless they get something from you...how much do you think she'll want to talk to you once you stop paying her an ounce of attention? You wanna know what's really ****ed up?
The second you listen to all these people and not answer the phone...seconds after you go out on a date with someone new...guess who will be at your front door? Miss PHYCO! And she'll do everything she can to convince you she needs to have an affair with you to rekindle whatever it was you two had or some shit.
DROP HER! NEVER LOOK BACK! EVER! | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:15:44 PM | It seems to me that she calls you when she's insecure. Knowing that she still has power over you gives her a false sense of security. Her s.o. is at the club and she feels left alone/abandoned. So, what's the best way to feel that she's desirable? Call someone that still desires her.
She's playing games. She's not respecting you and is using you for her own purpose, without thoughts for your feelings. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:15:48 PM | "Have you ever had an ex who cheated on you, broke up with you, still calls you from time to time, and maintains communication? On top of that, they are getting married with that guy. "
Women like that don't stay married for long.
OP, simple fact: Some women are evil b*tches. Recognise this fact. Recognise that most women aren't like this. So, distance yourself from her, give yourself some time, and then find yourself a REAL woman to love. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:19:51 PM | Still friends with an ex- and we have NO interest romantically with one another. We should have only been friends to begin with. We call one another from time to time. He has a gf and I am dating.
So no-- if you are wondering this because your ex is still in contact with you-- it does not mean that she wants you back-- It could be because she misses the time she spent with you (as friends) but if she is getting married, she is just being mean and giving you false hope. So move on Mr, and quit letting her mess with your mind and pull on your heart strings. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:38:03 PM | Isn't kind of weird considering that they're getting married and still calling you?
No. She is the same ruthless and shameless control freak who once broke your heart by cheating on you and breaking up with you. Now she is doing similar things to her soon-to-be husband (or probably soon-to-be-ex?), what makes the same old trick so weird to you now?
It shows some signs that they're still interested in you?
Definitely. You are the love of her life knowing that you will always be there as her last resort. Manipulation is her game and cheater is her name. Remember this just in case you've been "upgraded" to be the other guy someday, ok? | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:17:39 AM | It's been said a number of times already, but obviously bears repeating...
NO CONTACT.
That means no web pages, profiles, drunk dialing, texting...NO CONTACT
You will get over this...but NOT until you go no contact. I've been in your shoes dude. I had an ex use me as her emotional anchor until I cut all the strings. Took me a few months but I went out, treated MYSELF like a king for a while, and I got better. Ran into her at a concert event last weekend...actually...she made it a point to run into me so she could introduce her new fiance. I shook his hand, said "Good Luck", and ignored them the rest of the weekend.
Of course...she made it a point to let all my friends at the event know she was NOT happy with the way I treated her. Too bad...she has no power over me anymore. I've moved on and I'm happy now.
This moment of complete joy would not have been possible until I put NO CONTACT in place.
Paul ;) | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:52:41 AM | | yes my x still rings me and texts me.and im glad he does if that means hes still interseted. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:56:34 AM | If your answering her calls or text messages, sounds to me like your the BIOTCH!
Havent you figured out how to change your phone number??
Grow some! | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 2:02:42 AM | | charlie, in some cases, they get the hots for each other again and in other cases, they drift apart, and, in yet other cases, they remain friends. my last ex and i talk daily...his gf's don't get it (they will eventually as they start to feel more secure about their places in my ex's life)...but we do...we have no romantic feelings for one another at this point and we've become more like siblings. why throw a long-term friend out simply because you were married at one point? of course, the caveat is: that only works if there are no lingering romantic feelings. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 3:40:31 AM | to keep in touch with somebody...it is okay...but when the person cheats on you and he is getting married...show him the door...you are not being fair to you or the other partner...it is making the fool feel he has power...insecurity...i would not call him back and insist ...no phone calls...if it happens...the partner need to know about the winner. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:23:38 AM | | only for the kids' sake. the other ex's i dont have anything to do with. that part is done and dusted | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:49:45 AM | OP - I've posted time and again that I have and do remain friends with exes - SOMETIMES. When they have done something to you, something beyond forgiveness - that is off the table.
She's on a control trip - it's an ego boost. Don't pick up the phone and give her any more satisfaction. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:37:46 AM | I had to threaten one of my exes that I'd report him for harrassment if he didn't stop calling me.
lol. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:44:02 AM | | I can relete to him.. My ex does the same thing.. He's not getting married but tells me he cares about me.. Misses me Blah Blah Blah.. Its really hard to walk away and never talk to them again.. I have not been able to do it yet.. I am trying... One Thing I am learning is that I need someone that wants to be with me for me.. He didn't he wants his cake and eat it to.. It does make it a tad bit easier.. :) I hope it works out for you.. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:57:44 AM | Geez...
First off, change your phone number.
Second, everytime your thoughts wander to her, yell no in your mind. Think of an other topic that brings you happiness.
Third, if at all possible, go away somewhere to have fun and help you get some perspective.
Fourth, talk to those that you trust or go see a therapist. There is no shame in that.Unfortunately, life does not come with a recipe book.
I know, it sounds corny, but sometimes just saying cut off all contact is the logical solution it is the how that seems to be missing.
It will take time... You are the one who must walk away...
I know for me it took a little over a year. I was lucky, I was moving to an other city. I went back home and I saw him completely by chance and he is the one that stopped in his tracks asked me how I was doing... blah, blah, blah and as I was listening, I could not believe how angry I was at myself for having fallen for such a dud. At that moment, I felt soooooooo free and I never looked back.
Just sharing... | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 9:44:52 AM | Charlie,
Here is some advice for you because I have experienced this a couple times.
When you are dumped by someone, if they try to maintain contact with you, it's for the following reasons (all selfish ones, mind you)...
1. They want to relieve some of their guilt. If you're both friends, she doesn't have to feel bad.
2. When you respond to her contact attempts, you VALIDATE her and boost her self-esteem (at the expense of yours).
3. She wants to know that you still want her (even though she doesn't want you).
4. You provide some emotional need that her current B/F does not. She feeds off you to get all of her needs met (while yours are not).
5. She may want to keep you on the back burner if her current relationship fails, but only temporarily, until she finds someone else.
Do you see the pattern here? This is a WIN/LOSE situation. In all cases, she wins, YOU LOSE. This is not healthy for you. The best thing to do with an ex like this is to maintain NO CONTACT. That means the following:
1. Delete her from all social web sites (and block her).
2. Change her number in your cell from her name to "DO NOT ANSWER" and don't take her calls. Immediately delete (do not read) her text messages.
3. Block her email.
4. Take all the stuff you have to remind you of her and box it up and put it away where you can't get to it easily.
Your self-esteem is going to suffer as long as you stay in contact. And if you do stay in contact you will not heal. You need to break away from her completely. You need to focus on yourself. SPOIL yourself. Do things you haven't done in years. Make new friends, GO OUT. Get out of the house and have some fun.
Eventually you'll meet someone new, but not as long as you stay continue to stay in contact with your ex.
Cheers | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 9:53:48 AM | | You gave her something that she misses and she is just selfishly leaning on you when she feels the need. This is a women who has no conscious and will continue this behavior as long as there is someone that will indulge her. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 9:55:10 AM | Mine don't cause they are ex b/f s for a reason.
Ok my late ex husband, there was alot of contact, cause with a child involved we wanted to be civil. He's no longer with us though. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 9:56:39 AM | Yup she does....
She still calls me an asshat, dillweed, jerkoff, scumball, egomaniac, tinypecker, loser...
She calls me a lot. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 10:06:19 AM | One of my exes calls me from time to time apparently trying to rekindle a friendship. The first time it happened my very wise teen said "Well, guess their current relationship tanked and somebody is feeling just a wee bit insecure right now"
OP, what your ex is looking for has no benefit to you; it's an ego stroke for her at best. Take the advice of cutting off all communication. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 10:20:30 AM | 1. My ex called me once since our break-up. Okay, texted. Something along the lines of "my grandma died...Not sure if you care". While I felt bad, I did not appreciate being put in a really awkward position. It turned out when I took him out for coffee to offer sympathy (I was close to his grandmother), he made a 3-hour attempt to win me back. Never again.
2. Yes, it is weird she's still contacting you. Yes, it's highly suspicious. If I were you, I would simply wish her luck on her upcoming marriage and never contact her again. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 10:24:07 AM | Chuck Chuck Chuck....what to do with you???
Please change your phone number and move on.
She's a drunk and a whack job.
She's making you cry.
And you're a guy.
Dude - go back home to your folks. Pick up the pieces of your life. Don't be ashamed to call your Dad for help. You need him, and you need family. So go home.
Change your number when you get there. And move on with your life in a healthy way. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 11:55:13 AM | I'm sorry to sound rude, but this is kind of pathetic. This woman calls you (consistently about 4 a.m., I understand you work at 4...but she needs a life) to gloat/complain/rub in your face about her new "fiance".
You added fuel to her fire when you said this:
I told her if I still have a chance with you and she said no.
You need to cut contact and move on.
This is one of the reasons, that you see in these forums, why people keep coming back, time after time after time, to ask us all why they got burned. People cannot seem to move on...no matter WHAT the circumstances are. IMO.
Try your best to find someone new, and who actually cares about you.  | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 11:57:11 AM | | They're not interested in you... they're interested in WHY you're not paying any attention to THEM. She's probably missing the attention. | |
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