| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/27/2004 8:35:56 PM | | i beleive you can fall in love. Yes its hard to know if its going to work until you meet in person and spend time together, but that don't mean you can't love a person without meeting them. My mum met her husband on the internet and moved half way round australia to be with him, now you woudln't do that unless you loved a person rite. But i guess what it comes done to is each to there own, you may not be able to beleive you can fall in love over the net, however the next person may. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/27/2004 9:32:30 PM | Tiiiicket! " ... they're either Whackos or Players!!! "
 I take offense to this statement, as I am neither.  | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/28/2004 9:01:39 AM | Well this is an interesting topic and perhaps I am going to be the odd women out, but I can honestly say that I fell in love with someone over the net. While talking for several months we became more and more attached, felt and became comfortable with one another, totally hot for each other and definately compatible. Then we spoke on the phone and for me, that was it, I was hooked. He was a tender and as loving as he had been over the net. We talked for hours & hours about everything and anything. We had so much in common and we loved and looked forward to talking to each other as often as we could.
Now, I am not going to lie and say that I didn't have my reservations, but my gut told me that this was someone/something that I should take seriously. So, we finally made arrangements to meet. My girlfriend came with me and well * I get butterflies still even today* We met at 3:41a.m. on his front lawn. He opened my door, introduced himself and kissed my hand and then asked if he could give me a hug. Then he asked if he could give me a kiss. When he kissed me my heart melted and I felt like I was on fire.
That was 6 years ago. We have been inseperable ever since and I love him with everything I have and the feeling I can assure you totally mutual. Both of us were in relationships that went sour and we both we tired of the bar scene, the pervs and freaks who want nothing more than to cyber on line , and not finding anyone that we could just talk to.
So, I guess you can find love on line and maybe I am just one of the real lucky ones. But I think it can happen, I truly do. So, if you find someone on line remember that you never know what might come of it - keep an open mind and be true to yourself and true to your heart.
Good Luck,
Blossom | |
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Sundog
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Joined: 8/23/2004
Msg: 30 | |
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/29/2004 2:10:18 AM | If you allow yourself to fall in love online you're setting yourself up for disapointment. I think that there is only so much you can know about someone online or even on the phone. What can happen is you end up dreaming about what the person is going to be like and making them into someone they aren't to fill in the blanks only a meeting in person can fill. So then you meet and now they don't measure up or maybe the spark is just not there and you end up disapointed.
Being in love is an intimate and deep emotion that should develop with time. If you spend that much time getting to know someone online falling in love and not meeting you're missing the point of this website I think. POF should be a means to an end not the end means, sometime you have to step out from behind the screen. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/29/2004 6:44:31 AM | I think that people need to remember that "Online" and the Internet are simply means of communication. It is nothing more than that.
I own a Graphics/Design and Web Hosting business and I can tell you that several of my employees live on the other side of the world and I've never met them. I pay them, I trust them, they work like they are supposed to and all this from a business relationship between people that have never met face to face. I know that online business relationships occur all over the world every day and many of them could not efficiently exist any other way.
Now let's apply this to a personal relationship. When two people want to enter into a personal relationship there is much more required from both parties. Surely you may have been able to build up a level of trust communicating online but the relationship cannot grow to a point where there is a deep committed love present in both people.
Can anyone imagine working with someone at an office and then after a few months walking up to them and telling them you love them? What about doing the same thing to the person that works at your supermarket? I think if anyone tried that with the person that works with you at the office, you would get reported for sexual harassment ;)
Now I do think it is very possible to build up a close enough relationship with someone online that when you meet them face to face it is more of a final confirmation that everything is as you both think it is. However, in order for this to happen I think it takes two people that have the ability to communicate effectively and possess a very strong level of honesty.
So to sum up all that rhetoric in a few words, I don't believe you can fall in love online but I do believe you can develop a loving lifelong relationship that starts with online communication... | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/29/2004 9:12:06 PM | | I think if one is very lonley and dosent have their gaurd up, that chating, talking on the phone, exchange of cam pics etc... that this can happen. Sometimes people lose their sences. It's not that hard to do. Naturally most are seting themselves up for a big disapointment, as others have said. It has happend to me after talking on the phone to somebody over an extended amount of time. Im not as certain about just online chating however... I dont think I could fall in love just thru chats. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/29/2004 9:33:59 PM | i know about three people who met on the net fell in love and now are married ! happily
to make a blanket statement about the whole subject !!! I dont know how one can ! It will work for some and not for others !
Can it work sure ! | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/29/2004 11:12:11 PM | | I have met several women online and in fact my last gf of 8 months I had met on another site... I have yet to meet anyone on this site but then again, Ive only been on here for about a month, and just recently put up pics so I am not the type to worry much.... SO how are all of your experiances, I would luv to hear about them........ Especially from any of the available women out there in internet land :)- CHris | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/30/2004 1:18:11 AM | | HAVE ANY OF YALL EVER HERD OF A CAMERA I MEAN COME ON CAMERA'S WON'T LIE AND WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE THAN COMMING ON HERE LOOKING FOR AN REALTIONSHIP, FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE AROUND YOU'R AREA THAN HOOKING UP WITH SOMEONE ONLINE FROM YA AREA??????? I DON'T SEE HOW YALL CAN SIT BACK AND SAY ONLINE LOVE IS FAKE OR THAT IT DOESN'T ACTURLY HAPPEND WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE IN THE TWO? I DONT THINK ANYONE ON THIS SITE SHOULD DOUBT THIS SUBJECT ESPECIALY IF YALL ARE ON THIS SITE ONLINE LOOKING FOR A FRIEND/LOVE/BOYFRIEND/SEX WITH NO STRING'S ATTACHED............... SO MAYBE BEFORE YOU START QUESTION OTHER PEOPLE'S VIEW'S OR LOVE LIFE, YOU SHOULD ASK YOU'R SELF ONE THING.... WHY AM I DOUBTING THEM WHEN I'M ONLINE, LOOKING FOR BASCILY SAME THING?????????? | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/30/2004 6:51:21 AM | Let's say two people meet online and they send emails back and forth every day for 3 months. Let's also assume that both people involved have sent hundreds of pictures back and forth. When it is all said and done you could probably sit down and read every single email and look at every single picture that both people sent in a couple of hours time.
Now do you honestly believe that you could fall deeply in love with someone that you had just spent a couple of hours talking to? I think it would take quite a lot more than just a couple hours together before I would fall in love but that is just my opinion... | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/30/2004 2:46:41 PM |
"It is not really love but infatuation."
Often I think this is the case. But, on the other hand: One can fall in love with the person inside. I know after a long time of talking on the phone and geting to know the other person's sence of humor, likes/dislikes, goals and family names that I almost feel Im right there beside them. I think a CAM makes a big differnce too. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/30/2004 5:13:16 PM | | ... only problem ... many online are saying/writing things they might not say in person or feel, for that matter. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/30/2004 6:01:08 PM | | I've had two men now from POF say they've fallen in love with me during our first conversation. One even was planning where we would live. HOLY CRAP! Talk about scary! One fellow admited he'd been in love with 29 women, and had even convinced his wife to allow him to hire a hooker just to have the experience and it was okay with her that he did this! In the next breath he told me he loved me. WOW that inspired confidence in monogomy and good emotional health, not to mention wondering if he had any clue what being in love meant! The other looked up all my forum threads then pretended he was physic and began pretending he had snippets of insights into key events in my life! Is "NO BRAINS PRESENT" tattooed on my forehead? No, you can't fall in love on line. You can think you'd like someone in person, there might even be infatuation or mutal like, but you don't and won't know if you could ever fall deeply in love until you meet and spend time together. There are too many players out there to put your trust in telephone calls or emails. Meetings in person is the only way you'll ever know if they are sincere or just playing you for a fool. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/30/2004 6:17:30 PM | | Absolutely. I have met and dated eight women on line so far. Most I have went out with again and again for coffee, drives and lots of talks. Had three of them so far at my house. Then I just met a beautiful long haired blonde and she is a 39 year old bombshell. We are going out again. I agree within the first 20 minutes you'll know. We went for a long drive and she asked me out again. I went out with a girl prior to this for eight months and I met her online. Can you fall in love online, no. Can you fall in love after meeting someone, yes. As they say it takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/31/2004 12:26:34 AM | | Y cant people fall in love on line? What the difference anyway? I mean if you get set up on a blind date, or you meet a stranger at the supermarket or you go on some game show and meet the person of your dreams then why is meeting someone online any different? Love is love... its not how you fall its why you fall. If you fall in love with someone you have met online then obviously you see something in them that is worth the feeling..... SO many people out there question things instead of just allowing them to happen. If people have found love and it was from someone they met online then good for them....... How many people thought they were in love with there high school sweethearts only to end up in break up? See? Its not where ya meet but the quality of the person you give your love too...... Thats what I think its all about. Or am I just CRAZY :P | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/31/2004 8:32:02 AM | | There is a vast difference -- mountain ranges -- between finding something loveable in a person during and email exchange and falling in love with them. I've talked to many people I've liked, they've made me laugh, and even taught me a few things about myself, but falling in love without being in person -- never. It just doesn't work that way. The two men who told me they were in love with me during our first exchange to me were just desperate lonely people who needed love so desperately in their lives they would say that to anyone who gave them the time of day. You can't be in love with someone you DON"T know, and you can't fall IN LOVE with someone you've never met. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 10/31/2004 5:09:57 PM | | I agree, Georgie! It totally freaks me when a guy uses the "L" word way too early. And I really don't get it when a man signs his first letters to me with "love" or "I love you." Yikes!! That's pretty much a guarantee that I'm never gonna meet him. I've met quite a few men that I first encountered online, and even grew to love one very deeply. Yep... I've had that butterflies in my stomach, can't wait to see him again, has it only been 5 minutes since we said goodbye? feeling pretty darned early on, but that was just plain ole' infatuation. Exciting? Oh, heck yes! But it wasn't love. I felt that way about the guy I eventually grew to love from the first moment we met, but, again, it wasn't love. The love grew with our getting to know one another more deeply, spending time together, seeing what the other was like in the dull moments of everyday life as well as the exciting times, and realizing that this was someone whose happiness had become extremely important to me. For me, infatuation feels like, "He makes me so happy!" Love feels like, "I want be instrumental in his happiness." Infatuation is what he does for me, how he makes me feel. Love, for me, is what can I do for him, and how I want to make him feel. No... I'm not gonna disagree with or slam anyone who says they "fell in love" online. I'm just saying that for me, it takes more for real love to grow. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 4/2/2005 4:56:13 AM | I fell in love once online. He was a soldier in Iraq, and we wrote close to 1,000 letters before he came home. I didn't plan on falling in love with him. I fell in love with his humor, his kindness, his passion for life, his strength of character. The correspondence was not about sex, or even about love, but about respect, exploration, friendship and support.
When we finally met, it was wonderful. We dated for a year. It did end eventually, but was one of the most beautiful, supportive, healthy relationships I have ever experienced.
So, I vote yes, it can happen...but it's rare. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 4/2/2005 6:24:45 PM | NADA......OMG..OMG...OMG.....
I'm so happy to see you here  
I can't email you because of restrictions....shoot me a line 
staying on track.....I fell in complete love with a group of ladies I met on an AOL message board years ago....we all formed a very tight online group friendship via email loop, that lasted for years, and helped me through some of the toughest times of my life.
In the past year, I have , for various reasons, totally lost email addies and likewise, contact.....UNTIL NOW.
NADA darlin', I love you and have missed you to PEICES.
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 4/2/2005 7:35:07 PM | | I wasn't going to write on this thread but I have to say yes on this one. I met a lady online and talked to her for six months with out ever seeing her. During this time we found we were from the same town. I had also talked to her on the phone daily. She was in a bad relationship and was in the process of getting a lawyer to file for a divorce. I went to see her but before I had even decided to go I had fallen for her. Due to some issues, and my thinking she was not ready for a divorce, I walked away. She had told me during the time we were together she would leave with me. I told her to think it out. after returning home we still had contact and she still said she wanted to come to me. I still had doubts on if she was ready. Now don't misunderstand I love her dearly even to this day. She is my soulmate this I have no doubt about. She finally took my advice and decided to try and work it out and make her marriage work. I went on my way and we are friends to this day. But for three years we were still talking and telling each other of our love. The hardest thing I ever did in my life was to walk away. Still the one thing I will always regret. But as friends we are as close as any two people can be with out being physical. I, as I said love her dearly and always will. But I am not "in love" with her now. She is my best friend and will be for life. she has since divorced and married with a fella from online and has been married for almost a year and a half. And even tho we did not get together it will work for she is very happy. As long as she is happy I am happy for her. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 4/2/2005 9:55:37 PM | I have to agree with Mayleneo. We all have different experiences, and what works for some doesn't work for others. I met a guy online about a year and a half ago. We talked on the phone and chatted every day for about 3 months. I really felt like he could be the one. When we decided to meet, I learned that everything he told me about himself was like half truths. Not all lies, but definite exagerations. I was pretty torn up about it, and I stopped seeing him right after that. It was horrible. He started stalking me, and calling my house at like 6am and continueds throughout the day, sometimes leaving two and three minute messages on my machine, or however long the he had till it cut him off. He called my roommate at work once. I couldn't go online to like MSN or Yahoo, without him sending 2 million IMs. A half dozen Emails everyday, he even stalked the chat room I played in, that had live cam chat. He would stalk my cam and talk about me in the room. Talk about nuts. Well, I had a friend I had made online who gave me some pointers on how to get rid of this guy (which I won't go into) and after the stalker left me alone, my friend and I had become so close that we decided to meet. We hit it off so well that w'e're together a year later, and are gonna be living with each other soon. My folks are happy about a relationship of mine for the first time since I can remember. It's a very cool situation. Now I don't think you can tell for sure untill you meet. I think it's impossible to know untill then. But you can have some pretty strong inklings, and I think that you should just feel what you're feeling at the moment. And forget about the labels. Labels are like limits. It reminds me of what an old hippy friend told me once about love.
"I don't love you just for who you are, but for how you make me feel about myself."
And for anyone who's ever loved anything or anyone, then you can interpret that the way it's meant. | |
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