| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 5/23/2005 1:32:17 AM | Nah, it isn't love, it's neediness.
Heck, I've become interested, thus spoke to them online, then moved to the phone, then (like tonight!) spent an awesome time having coffee in person because neither of us could sleep! 
I don't know what's keeping me up.....the coffee, or the butterflies in my tummy! | |
|
| |
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 5/23/2005 5:16:01 AM | well i did. 5 months of strictly online (im's, web cam) and a butt load of long distance phone calls.. ya i was in love long before flying to meet him.
I have said it before (as well as many others have i'm sure), when you start a "relationship" online, there is no physical contact, you can't hold the persons hand, or body at night etc.. so you pour a lot of emotion into the conversation.. you really get to "know" a persons mind. The only thing not present is the physical connection. The very first time we "met" we slipped directly into the boyfriend/girlfriend role.. there were no awkward moments, no strange feelings.. getting off the plane and seeing him, it was almost as if I was just returning from a long trip. Never felt like a "first meet"
So yes, it happened to me, it happened to my mother, it happened to his sister (both my mom and his sister married someone they met online)..
| |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/23/2005 4:32:55 PM | bluepony
Just wanted to say that I am glad to read that someone out there believes that love can grow that it does not have to be an instant chemistry thing.
Guess there is hope for me too!
I will keep on my path knowing that chemistry can grow-
God Bless | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/23/2005 4:35:06 PM | | When you're talking to someone online you're only going to see what the other person chooses to reveal, and that's almost always going to be the great things about them. You can't truly know someone, in my opinion, without being around them face to face. Not long ago I was talking to a guy that I met on eharmony.com a good bit, and we both thought we'd go nuts over each other when we met face to face. When we finally did meet we had a great time together, but there was NO romantic spark. | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/23/2005 8:14:12 PM | | I think you can feel an extreme attraction, adore the person, etc .. but highly doubtful of actually "falling in love" online. | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/23/2005 8:14:35 PM | I find that there are several men on here who fall so easily. Of course that's what I get in my inbox so it's a poor frame of reference I know, I'm sure some women do the same.
Speaking from experience, I've taken the plunge online yrs ago when I eventually met and married my ex. It was a love that developped through digital means as he lived so far away (in the USA). Never again. It took me a long time to get over the disillusionment of having fallen in love with a projection of who I hoped he was instead of who he really was. I missed being able to see how he dealt with the day-to-day details in life...how he relates to others...how he relates with me when around others...so many sorted things that weren't established before we committed to one another. That was a big mistake. It was very "addictive" and "obsessive" in its nature. I no longer see this as healthy at all, but exceptionally needy behaviour. I was hurting and needy then so it stands to reason that I was vulnerable to the sentiment involved.
Needless to say, I now take this online thing at face value. Words are cheap and actions say it all. Most will never have a chance to demonstrate their actions as they are so far away and I really don't have the time or patience to pursue a long distance thing unless he owns his own leer jet and can come when i need him to. | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/23/2005 8:35:13 PM | able to see how he dealt with the day-to-day details in life...how he relates to others...how he relates with me when around others.
This is something I wish people actually did pay closer attention to, in real life!!!!!!!!!!
One example that women could look at in a man (sorry if this sounds directed only to a woman but could apply to men as well), is from talking with the guy, if he tells of stories how he "GOT OVER" on someone, please realize that exhibition of character can spill over into his relationship with you. It's a warning sign. Please don't think of it simply as "Oh, what a man!, he's forceful, blah blah blah, I think I'm in love!".
I had one guy friend who was constantly extoling his manuevering over people, and was thinking if women just keyed in on some of his talks, they'd stay far away from him.
MORE TO TOPIC: It happened to me before, and it could have lasted, but was told one big lie and was hard to overcome. I would have stayed with her in spite of the lie, yet I guess she freaked out when her ex-bf asked to marry her while I was with her. Oh brother!
I maintain it can happen. | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/23/2005 9:50:35 PM | I think that it can begin online......but that you need to look in someone's eyes, and as Blastkist says, see how they interact with other people, etc to validate all that you've learned about them WHILE you've been talking online.
Take no one at complete face value until you've met them in person.
My grandmother used to tell me not to get involved with anyone seriously until I've seen them angry, dissapointed, and drunk.....you really don't know them until you've seen the worst they have to offer. | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/23/2005 10:26:38 PM | | I know I'd pass the drunk test. That's when I'm jovial, against my will, and extremely amorous (guess that's why women grabbed me when I was younger), but now I'd have to be forced to drink more than my self-prescribed negligible alcohol intake. | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/23/2005 11:20:24 PM | I met a Girl in Person on X-mas vacation(Saw her for about 3 hrs, A friend of a friend) a few months down the Road when I was 3 Provinces away again we started emailing as Pen Pals. It started out as friends but Feelings started to get stronger. I was quite confused.
Could I fall in love with someone without as much as holding their hand or kissing them? I didn't think it could happen. We both tried not to say it. But one night we both said the 3 little words (Well Typed them) It would be 6 months before I relocated to her Province (Because of work, Not so much because of her). We met for the 1st time in person as BF/GF with a kiss. We dated for about a year. Then it went belly up and I needed to end it. But it was great for awhile. We communicated much better online than on the phone or in person. Definatley not a good thing. But If you had of posted this question before I went thru it. Ida said you were Nutz. Since then I've made a few people that have led to friends/sex. But no more love. | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/25/2005 1:25:54 PM | pandy I have to say that it is a good idea but what if the person doesn't drink. Some of us have and done't now. I personally don't mind drink but perfer not to since some of my meds react to it. don't need that kind of problem and I also prefer to keep my wits about me as well.
Moundpuppy
oh by the way Hi haven't spoke to you in a while. | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/25/2005 3:36:52 PM | You can fall in love...or lust!
Love takes time and only occurs when you really get to know one another, however you met the person you are interested in. I think it is easy to confuse the two because so many people want to be with someone so bad they give it their all and become an easy target to a purely lustful relationship.
You cannot belive in anything until it truly happens to you..until then enjoy your own company and your new found friends. If they are still on the market while you are getting to know each other (online or otherwise) then caution is best and space..if something develops great but make sure they are off the market before you let your emotions become invested for obvious reasons!!! | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/25/2005 5:46:36 PM | I have known a few people that have found great affection for another by online means. I am a computer geek who plays MMORPGs (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games). It is sort of amazing the kinds of bonds and friendships you can make with people while playing these sorts of games. The game actually sets people up to be dependant on one another to complete goals as you play and that is how the roots of the relationship is formed.
Myself, I have met two very nice ladies while playing these types of games. Both of them great in thier own ways and one I probably would have gone so far as to marry if it weren't for the stage of life we were both in. Both times I will never regret though because the experiences with them only served to enrich my life.
Anyway, over time, whether it be online or face to face with that certain someone, love can come into the picture. If love knows no bounds how can the internet be an obsticle? | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/25/2005 6:40:48 PM | | I don't beleive in falling in love online. You can establish contact but you really need to meet someone in person and see the "whole package". | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/25/2005 7:39:20 PM | | I think it can definitely lead to love...otherwise we wouldn't be here. I think Love is what happens while you are busy making other plans. In other words, it can happen at any time, when/where you least expect. You just have to keep your eyes open and pay more attention when it is on line, and be aware that no matter how nice he is, the chemistry may not be there when you meet. (And be aware that there are many out there who are not playing with a full deck....I've run into this a few times.) | |
|
| Fell in love.... online
Posted: 9/26/2005 10:43:08 AM | | That was my Biggest worry when we Finally met. Would the Chemistry be there? It was!! She was a very exciting & stimulating Partner, beautiful inside and out. I already loved her before we even shared our 1st kiss. We never did the "Cyber-Sex" thing. I mean we discussed sex. But never really "got it on" online. So it there was much more there than just Lust. | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/26/2005 12:15:20 PM | you could fall in love if you initially met online, but after actually REALLY meeting...is this a joke? Cmon people you dont fall in love with text.
Exchanging banter and a few witty lines is ok, but why waste time ONLY writing someone? Does that sound lame to anyone? hope so!! Furthermore why even write someone who lives too far? Thats ridiculous | |
|
ksue44
|
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 94 | |
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/26/2005 1:05:30 PM | | You can't be in love until you've been with someone on a trip; seen them sick; seen them angry; disappointed; and crying both happy tears and sad tears. Guess I'm the ol Cynic here, but falling in love online w/out face to face? Not on my watch... I want to be able to sit beside a man, look into his eyes, hear his voice, reach over and touch his hand. Awful darn hard to do it through the wires. | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 9/26/2005 7:09:07 PM | There was a lot of heart & soul in that text.
Hard yes, but not Impossible.
I would have loved to have been able to do it face to face. But for 7 months that was impossible to do.
Perhaps if the 9 months earlier we hadn't of been introduced face to face it would have been impossible. But it wasn't like there was a spark there, It was just hanging out as friends. But at least I knew what she looked like. I knew she was real & wasn't a 12yr old boy hiding behind an Alias posing as a girl. | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 12/28/2007 2:07:51 AM | I wonder could any one answer this one. I met someone lovely on MySpace. I was there to just waste time and meet friends, never thinking I would actually 'fall' for someone as he did for me. . head over heels. As I was only mucking around I put down a wrong age.. .a little older and a lot of fabrication. . again .. never thinking I would find my soul mate. We started chatting on the phone and texing every day .. we talked for hours and hours and he is the most amazing and gorgeous man I have ever known. Its been six weeks now of constant phone calls and we are dependent upon each other..we need to hear each others voice every day several times, we are needy, and I think both are emotional wrecks to a degree and dreamers, lost in our own world and sensitive & romantic ..so very much. Is this just being needy ? is it just being desperate for love ? we are so alike and soul mates.. the worst thing and the tragedy is that I have lied and I am going to have to tell him the truth .. or make up another lie. . I cant meet him and my heart is broken. Is this love or need? why is this internet thing so intense ? I am sickened by the idea of hurting him...he keeps reminding me that everyone close to him in his life has screwed him. . . I am devastated. He is sort of making me feel guilt..but how do you hurt the one person who should never be hurt .. good, loving, decent, a gentleman, , young but so old for his age and so complex. I have to let him go and its killing me. Is he just desperate and needy ? I am so confused. Thanks for listening. Oh and we have had the cyber thing too. . and we have sent items of clothing too . . is this bizarre ? I dont know whats fact or fiction any more. Thank you.   | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 12/28/2007 9:25:21 AM | I had a 'relationship' with someone as far away as America! we started on the internet and then we began calling each other on a daily basis. We spent every day together. he took me with him everywhere....once he entered a restaurant and asked for a table for two, i spoke to the waitress, i even ordered for him! we went for walks and he described what he was seeing. He took me to buy a ride on lawn mower too!
We had an awesome time together; so much laughter, we trusted each other, we thought we were in love. We are still friends after almost 8 years now, but we lost the closeness when things happened in his life over there.
I would not recommend this for anyone as it is devastatingly heartbreaking when something ends before it has really begun....lol | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 12/28/2007 9:32:20 AM | i think it is the attention that we want.if you had someone in 'real life' giving you the same attention, then you would not seem so needy.
Talk to him about what you did and see what happens. Is there a big age gap? I don't know the ins and outs, but talk to him, dont second guess what he may or may not think about you have done. if you have formed such a close bond, then see if its a rock solid bond...tell him! | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 12/28/2007 9:37:18 AM | | Unfortunately, it's not a simple answer. I've loved someone that I met online, had even taken it to the next level where I was going to move to be with him after meeting face to face several times. The parts of him that I knew thru emails, texts, IM's were staggeringly beautiful and that's the man that I loved. I knew about many of his flaws, also.... the temper and jealousy, but those things didn't stop the feelings that were already in place. Not being an ignorant person, things that added up that made me pull away from the relationship were hard to deal with, and yet I found that I mourned the end of that relationship much more than I did the end of my 10 year marriage. I'll never be quite the same again, and yet I wouldn't have missed that experience for anything. Love is so many different things to everyone, and the kind of love that I'd developed for this man was deep and abiding, even if it was started online. | |
|
| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 12/28/2007 5:09:15 PM | Thank you .. I agree with this, oh so true !!!
" I would not recommend this for anyone as it is devastatingly heartbreaking when something ends before it has really begun....lol"
I cant speak to him. .....the age difference is 19 years yet we are on the same level . . I am young and I sound young and I look young. . but I have lied .. not to him but on a profile.. not thinking the love of my life would come along.. . he will be destroyed , I have to try and and end it so he wont be devastated. . we are so right and so good for each other.. but it has to end. I dont have anyone to give me what he does.,. attention, love,. he is as needy as I am but more than that , we are made for each other.. in another time though. Thank you for your great advice.. I am not worthy of him anyway. He deserves so much more. I am just worthless for what I have done and am about to do to this wonderful man who is all I have ever dreamed of.
Thanks again :)
 | |
|
Home
login 
