| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:31:56 PM | I can't fall in love online.
The "online" aspect is just the conduit that allows me to meet a woman. The love will come from sharing experiences together and growing attached to each other. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:40:09 PM | Notta chance, nope,nadda,zippo.......won't,can't happen........
Infactuation , yup, lust, yup, lah lah land...........most definitley....... | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:14:25 PM |
I've read several threads/posts that seem to assume that people can "fall in love" while only having met online. Personally, I don't believe this is possible.
Love is a very powerful emotion. It can happen anytime anywhere.
I don't think that love is something you "fall" into.... like an uncovered well you just happened to not see
On the same analogy, love is something one can fall into.... like an uncovered well one happens to find when one falls in it without notice. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/2/2008 10:20:05 PM | I think I felt this really weird feeling for the girl Im seeing now before I ever met her, but I doubt it was love. I had read so many of her posts on these forums and was just so mesmerized by her personality and extreme sexual prowess that it made me want her in a way I cant describe, albeit she had a boyfriend. With a little luck, I was in the right place at the right time, and her former man could not commit for whatever reasons, shall I say incompatibility?
Of course, many people choose to be something other than themselves, living in an alternate identity through these forums, so I was fortunate that she turned out to be just like the persona that she represented on here. Who can pinpoint something immeasurable though? It is absolutely possible, but unlikely, and very risky to fall in love with someone you've never met. Certainly, anyone can fall in love based on their own standards and qualifications for that feeling, but when you choose to give that to someone loosely and without proper research, heartache looms ever close to you. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/2/2008 11:01:03 PM | | I didn't fall in love online and don't think I could. I developed a connection with someone through these very forums, took it to email, and since then have spent hours on the phone getting to know him. I don't hesitate to say that I love him now that we have had that in-depth interaction over a period of time. We still have not met face to face due to distance but he will be here in under 2 weeks now and I have no doubt that this is love. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/2/2008 11:28:02 PM |
I've read several threads/posts that seem to assume that people can "fall in love" while only having met online. Personally, I don't believe this is possible. I believe that you can have a very strong attraction... an infatuation... but I believe that real love can only grow once you've met and spent time with a person in real life. But then again, I don't believe in "love" at first sight (love and lust should never be confused) either, and I don't think that love is something you "fall" into.... like an uncovered well you just happened to not see. I'm interested to know what others think. Can people really love - I'm talking romantic love here, not friendship love - someone they've only met online?
Absolutely. Without going into too much detail, it can certainly happen. In fact, it happens all the time. Now perhaps it isn't for you, and that's fine.
Love is about intimacy. Knowing someone. Knowing who they are, where they've been, where they'd like to go. Sharing dreams, aspirations, silly stories. Its knowing someone better than they know their self. Why would you not be able to do that online? What prevents this? | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/2/2008 11:59:48 PM |
Anyone who says they are in love without meeting in person and spending time with them are "in love with being love"...and have never been in love.
pure b.s. based on your own limited experiences. it's very possible to begin to fall in love prior to a meet...although, one always tempers it with the possibility of the meeting going awry. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/3/2008 12:09:58 AM | | So many people don't even have a clue what "love" really is. Most of them are just in love with the idea of falling in love. It's probably real easy to immortalize and fantasize about someone you've met online (even though you've never met that person) if you're the kind of individual who's desperate to be in love with somebody...anybody. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/3/2008 12:19:24 AM | | DARLINGNADA.....BUT OF COURSE...AND MY NAME IS CINDERELLA ..I'M REALLY GOOD FRIENDS WITH THE TOOTH FAIRY AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH PRINCE CHARMING AND WE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER & HAD SEVEN LIL DWARFS...u c where this is going | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/3/2008 1:10:40 AM | Love holds no bounds seriously when you think about it, I met someome from online
about four years ago that just completely gave my heart it's wings, I'm not talking lustfully here either. (I know the difference)
True honest romantic love is something felt in your heart, not your head...even if it's
1300 miles away...it's a feeling, a knowing.
So, whether it's the girl next door...or someone across the country, and if you're willing
to open yourself up, the possibilities are endless, and boundless.
Just my 2 cents... | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/3/2008 1:31:10 AM |
Why would you not be able to do that online? What prevents this?
The fact that you only know a small percentage of a person at a distance and that nothing but in-person contact can fill in the rest of the information (not to mention correcting misinformation that you may have developed).
People can hide a lot of serious flaws from you when you're not near enough to know them well. Someone with a violent temper can seem sweet as pie when you're not with them - for months on end, even. Alcoholics, abusers - anyone telling you about themselves can and will picture themselves favourably. Oh, sure, they'll confess to 'flaws' - in a way that charms you. However, if they have serious flaws, you'll not know about it.
How do I know? I was all dreamy and naive like you. Then I met and spent time with him. BIG difference in person.
Now. Some people will be exactly the same in person as they are online. However, you can't guarantee that your particular loved one is one of those people until you go and spend a goodly amount of time with that person. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/3/2008 1:36:56 AM | I don't believe in god, yet hundreds of religions are built around an idea that he does exist. I fell in love with someone on-line and i believe i know the difference between real love and infatuation. It's been almost two since the first messages exchanged and we are still together.
Whether people believe it or not it does happen and will continue happening to sane productive people that have lives. I for one would like to see more people find love no matter how they find it. The internet is not the end all be all but another way for love to find it's way into our hearts you just have to be open. But then that is a whole new thread on why so many people don't find love. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:32:06 PM | For months before my first in person meeting with my new gf, I read these forum posts about love online. Finally, I am in a position where I can comment with at least some personal experience.
Yes, craztlifting, you're right. It does happen. And it just happened again.
On the day you wrote your last comment, I was travelling 1200 miles to meet my gf for the first time in person. We spoke online and phone for 3.5 months before finally meeting in person. The connection and chemistry at our first meeting in person was instant. We spent the next two weeks together, for many hours, every day, enjoying each other as friends and lovers. Unfortunately, I had to return home and work. What's the next step? I'll travel to see her again in October; She'll travel to see me over Christmas, I'll travel to see her for a week in February. If the connection persists after those meetings, well... then the real planning begins. ;) :)
The most important factor here was the absence of surprises. We were both exactly what the other expected. We both had been completely honest about who we were. There was no attempt to deceive intentionally or inadvertantly. We had both presented ourself online/phone exactly as we were. Consequently, when we met in person our love continued exactly where it had left off on the internet and phone.
While online, was I in love with a dream or the real lady? So long as my dream proved a reality, does it really matter? Dream? Reality? The feelings and emotional impact are the same. Our dream is now our mutual reality. Will it last? Patience. One step at a time ...  | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/22/2008 9:19:49 AM | | sure they can but you have to be open for just about anything.most women on here will not because of past realationships.but love at first sight are on here can happen if you let it and stop over analyzing things. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/22/2008 9:28:16 AM | | I suppose you could fall in love with the idea of them (ie. personality and photo) but until you meet each other - it doesn't make alot of sense. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/22/2008 10:57:14 AM | So you all are saying that because you can't physically see the person, you can't fall in love? Kinda stupid if you ask me.
I saw someone say "You don't truly know the person until you meet them" Ummm....bullshit. A person can lie to you face to face just as much as they can over the phone or over the internet. If you talk to somone on the phone for a sustained period of time, over a period of a couple months, you would know just as much about that person as you would of hanging out with them.
The catch? There has to be phone conversations, (a lot of them) for this to become reality. I don't think talking through text messages can make you fall in love. However, over the phone you can hear their tone of voice, the way they laugh in response to the things you say, and you can totally play off them and get comfortable with them. My point is, if you meet somone online and then progress the relationship into phone conversations for a long duration prior to meeting them, then yes, you can fall in love. Simply talking through walls and walls of text? No. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/22/2008 11:01:59 AM | I've used Skype to talk to someone who was overseas. So yes it's possible, provided you actually get to talk to them and have a webcam to see what they look like.
Obviously meeting each other and spending time together in real life will solidify the relationship. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/22/2008 1:13:12 PM | Congrats beelieve i hear what you are saying about the absence of surprises. One could say that you fall in love with the idea of love or the idea one has built up about the person they are relating to. When you take the time to be truly intimate (in to me see) it is easy to fall in love with someone you truly resonate with.
If either have lied, i believe it shows up the moment you meet in person. I met another woman years ago i had been talking to and writing to and when we met in person it was like the person in front of me was not the person i was talking to before we met. The feelings i had for her were gone the moment i set eye's on her.
Keep it real, keep it simple and keep relating to each other and not ideas of being together. You will have up's and downs and as long as you both remember you are on the same side your relationship with each other will grow. Never force things, let them unfold when they need to. Logical boundaries are there for a reason and if you try to cross them to quickly you've lost focus on the most important thing, each other. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/22/2008 5:41:02 PM | You're right Rusty.
In my case, we got off the chat within the first two weeks. We spoke almost exclusively on the phone for about three months - 2 to 3 hours a day, everyday! The physical connection in person was almost immediate because of all the emotions we had developed over the months.
I think it really depends on the personalities involved. My lady and I are both very direct and open people. We talked very openly and honestly and discussed in intimate detail all of the issues leading up to our in person meeting. The in person umcomfortable tension lasted only very briefly.
Actually she made the first move. She leaned over to kiss me while stopped at a stop light. Focused on her face and lips, and trying to gently pull her close to me, I reached for the side of her body. Ummm, I made direct contact with her breast instead, oops! Thankfully she was forgiving. I am sure some of you ladies would have concluded I was a pervert. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/22/2008 5:53:35 PM | "Can people really love - I'm talking romantic love here, not friendship love - someone they've only met online? "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YES!
YES!
YES!
I believe in love at any extent.
When/if it happens to you, you'll just "know it."  | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/23/2008 12:05:04 AM | I tend to agree. I met a woman through a phone call at work ... I then spent the next 6 months falling in love with her over pages and pages of mostly emails ... I mean, this girl was amazing ... everything I thought I might be looking for in a woman.
I finally decided to meet her ... I knew within 30 seconds (and possibly sooner) after she opened the door that we would not be lovers. She remains one of my best friends to this day, but we would never be lovers.
There's just no substitute for the actual presence of another human being. I don't care how cool your avatar is.  | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/23/2008 12:14:28 AM | it's possible, many people fall in love online, but the underlying question: is it the real person you are or just the "online profile/avatar".
philosophically, if you meet a person face-to-face even than it's fundamentally the same thing: you get to know a small part, fraction of a person before you fall in love.....so based on x% information about the person, and some interaction involved, you fall in love.
said it in a complicated way, lol.
the short answer is
1. yes, they can love!
2.- compatibility -that person is right for you and you are for for that person, is another thing.
risk of online love you fall in love with the "wrong" person, someone you are not compatible with. that risk is probably greater online, than via the traditional face-to-face way.
just my 2 cents. | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/23/2008 12:07:56 PM | _Absolutely_...  ...
But...as so eloquently stated in #180,
Misinformation and what they're willing to admit to , flaw-wise , can radically affect
the actual physical 'Chemistry' when the truth hits the fan..!
~ Sure ~ . . she's Pretty, and Shapely, and likes fine wine, and Thunderstorms,
and even Football and Hockey..  ..
..but if she turns into a Screaming Banshee the first 'morning after' ..
when her lusts and cravings have been satisfied .. then she held something Back .. !!!
Heck...I'll be the First to admit that I Fall-in-Love at the drop of a hat ..
with a pretty smile, and an allurung pose ..
But Disappointment has become so commonplace .. for the most _Trivial_ of reasons
[ distance ]
that if 'The One' ever shows-up .. .. _I_ may be the one that doesn't trust Her sincerity!
And that would be Both our losses..!! | |
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| Falling in love.... online?????
Posted: 8/23/2008 1:28:55 PM |
When/if it happens to you, you'll just "know it.
Someday go ask several of your divorced friends whether they 'just knew'. Ten to one they'll say they did. Really, don't trust 'just know' because, most of the time, you actually don't. | |
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