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 DemonDingleBerry
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 23
We just met online and ready to have sexPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

Once we go to the movie or something and actually meet then will it ok to have sex?

Are you over 18? If so then it's okay...I just asked and they said it's okay.
Although I don't understand why you are waiting for a movie. I mean you feel you are soulmates already. So "waiting" seems rather arbitrary, as you both seem to have already decided you want to and will sleep with each other.
It's like coming home from trick or treating with a full bag of candy and deciding you are going to eat that entire bag in one sitting, but if you wait an hour it won't be bad for you...

Do you think for that hour you are going to be paying attention to anything except how you think that candy is going to taste?
Once you've made the decision, pushing it off seems stupid if you aren't even going to question it, just make arbitrary "rules" to follow that don't change anything.


we both very clear with each other that we do not want to get pregant.

Well that's great. But, uh, the only way to be 100% secure against pregnancy...is to not have sex.

Personally I see this relationship ending in one of two ways.
You are going to meet and just look at each other because you both blew your communication load online and built up false ideas, feel really weird, and then one runs away from the other.
or
You are going to meet, pretend to have a relationship for a bit. Then have sex. Then pretend to have a relationship in order to avoid negative labels and judgments.Then one of you either disappears, or one starts slowly pulling/pushing away.

Good luck with that. Can't wait for the forum thread titled "Why do guys make dates to meet, then disappear," or, "Why do guys only want sex, even though we seemed to be totally made for each other and everything was going great," or,"He closes down whenever there is a problem, he used to talk to me about everything online," or, "Why are guys always different in person than their profile?"
 bwana217
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 24
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We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/10/2009 6:30:09 PM
First of all, congratulations on talking about sex! So many people refuse to do this, and instead are "surprised" by sex. This is when bad things happen.

The obvious:

1) Have not only condoms available, but a brand that he is used and finds acceptable. He can test the feel of condoms by masturbating with them. Despite what people say, it is important to find the right size condom. There is also the choice of latex, polyurethane, or whatever those SKYN condoms are made out of. I find polyurethane the most durable and sensitive, but polyurethane doesn't stretch, so it's important to find the right size. Polyurethane is also immune to heat. People don't think about this, but it's summer, and no matter how well you store your condoms, they probably got to the store in a truck that may have gotten very hot inside.

2) Have a water-based lubricant available. I find AquaLube the best, but it's hard to find. Second to that is Wet, but it's hard to find outside of naughty shops. You can get Astroglide in the drug store, and it's OK, but it tends to get sticky. Don't use plain KY jelly, but some of the KY sexual lubricants, such as that His and Hers, are pretty good.

3) Also have some nonoxynol-9 jelly. I like the Ortho-Gynol individual applicators.

Have all three available at all times.

As for the rest. I'm not a prude, nor am I a moralist. For people with experience, I say go for it when the time is right. However, you haven't had a relationship, so you might not have enough experience to know when the time is right. I'd say go at least a couple of dates and feel each other out emotionally before having sex.

As for the soulmate thing, well, I hate to have to say it, but it's a high probability that you aren't. It's not out of the question, of course. Just don't do anything that will leave permanent effects on the basis of the assumption that you are.
 pazoozoo
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 25
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We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/10/2009 6:42:20 PM

.Once we go to the movie or something and actually meet then will it ok to have sex?


Sure it is as long as you follow the "I Will Not Get Pregnant, I Will Not Have A Broken Heart" rules.

1. Make darned sure you have the best birth control available.
2. Even if you are on a birth control system, use a condom. Birth control systems don't protect from STDs.
3. Have sex because you want to. Not because he is pressuring you into it. Not because you think it will prove your love. Not because you think it will make him love you.
4. Don't invite him to your home. Don't have sex in the backseat of a car. Don't go to his home. Get a room. While you might have sex with him, he is still a stranger. Make certain someone knows where you are, who you are with, and that you will check in with them periodically.
5. Don't be ashamed of normal, healthy desires. Just don't let them rule your head.

If he is Mr. Right, he will understand all your precautions and respect you for them.

Good luck.
 Megaladonfishy
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 26
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We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/10/2009 7:09:23 PM
Well, at least you're going to wait until you meet before you have sex, doing it before you meet is hurrying things a little
 angell32
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 27
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We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:30:33 PM
idock_steve- the answer is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Yuk

Wazhiz-i don't think you can get pregant if you just have oral.but i am not mad.

Dingleberry-yeah i am over 18.Our converstations are not just about sex also about a relationship so i am sure i wont be thinking about sex watching a movie.Especially since i want to see the movie really bad.Like i said before i don't think you can get pregant by oral but hey i could be wrong.Last time i check you couldn't.i am not being mean just saying

Bwana17-your right!!!!! alot of people don't talk and that's why they end up in the situations they are in.

Pazoozoo-Thankyou

well the advice went better tonight.thanks again
 ThisIsMee
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 28
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We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:01:41 PM

Like i said before i don't think you can get pregant by oral but hey i could be wrong.Last time i check you couldn't


obviously you are uneducated about sex completely, therefore, you should not even be thinking about having it IMO

and where in anyone's previous post did it say anything about oral?

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 29
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We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:36:42 PM
First off Opie, kudos to you for making it to 21 and still being a virgin. Pretty unheard of these days. Now I want you to think about something, just for a minute, k?

Once you have sex, for the first time, you can never go back . Please make very, very sure this is what you want to do, and who you want to do it with. Don't do it because you feel pressured, or you're trying to make him like you. Do it because it feels right , and make sure you feel good about your decision. If you have any doubts, and this guy truly likes you, he will wait until you are ready.

I would suggest doing a little reading and educate yourself on the subject. Your last post worries me, especially this:


i don't think you can get pregant if you just have oral.


If you really don't know the answer to that question..well, then you're in some trouble my dear. I suspect you likely know little about your own body as well..please, do some reading. Learning is a great thing, and it will enhance your experience if you know what you are doing.

Don't rush this, take your time, explore yourself and learn about your own sexuality. And get to know this guy before you decide to take that step. Sex forever changes relationship dynamics, and not always for the better.

Good luck.
 if-i-had-a-crystal-ball
Joined: 8/1/2009
Msg: 30
We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:40:46 PM
I myself was not trying to be mean, sorry if you felt that way. But seriously, if all you are worried about is not getting prego....well, that right there is a no brainer. And at 21 you can do pretty much what you want, regardless of what others think. You have to live with it, not us. But at 21 you should already know yourself --> Sex = rug-rats (whether wanted or unwanted) So if you don't plan on raising one yourself --> Don't have sex with a guy you DON'T KNOW, plain and simple.
 lauhs88
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 31
We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:05:16 PM
This is a joke man.... sex without even seen this person in real.Oh my god i think u are too horny.U are insane.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 32
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We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:29:28 PM
You're 21 and never been in a relationship, you've only just started chatting to this bloke and you're seriously thinking about sleeping with him???

Take a big, deep breath and think about getting to know him in person first, internet exchanges often create a false intimacy which might be totally different to reality.

Are you on some form of contraceptive? Will he be happy to play his part with condoms?

You need to know each other a whole lot better than email exchanges and a movie before doing something like this, which could lead to disaster.

It's a huge step to lose your virginity, you only get one shot, and I would be looking for the right man, right conditions and right reasons if I were you.
 finbarrsaunders
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 33
We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/11/2009 5:07:39 AM
OP - I am 99.9% certain that no one replying to you on this thread lost their virginity in the circumstances you are in. ie. no one got chatting to someone online and then decided to have sex for the first time. The people replying to you come from a huge variety of backgrounds and have wildly different experiences.

I implore you to speak to someone in real life about sex and relationships. They will be able to offer you better advice than we can.
 Truth09
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 34
We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/11/2009 5:19:03 AM
they need a facepalm smiley
 angell32
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 35
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We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/11/2009 6:50:00 AM
obviously you are uneducated about sex completely, therefore, you should not even be thinking about having it IMO

and where in anyone's previous post did it say anything about oral?

Can you get pregnant from oral sex?
In: Can You Get Pregnant


From our video partners
COPD
How COPD differs from asthma, and why it's important to not smoke. No. There is no possible way to get pregnant from giving or getting oral sex (but read the third paragraph).

(Oral sex, mouth to penis is called fellatio. Mouth to vagina is called cunnilingus.)

You can get pregnant if sperm gets into your vagina and up to your eggs. That's the only way. If your male partner has some sperm in his mouth just before he has cunnilingus with you there is a chance. But if you both understand how babies are made then this is extremely unlikely.

Even if you swallow semen it goes through the body a completely different way than if you have vaginal intercourse. As well, the acid in your stomach will kill any sperm. There is no chance of sperm from your stomach reaching your eggs. There are no little tubes connecting stomach and womb, so there is no way for sperm to get there.

Thisismee-Yeah i did a little research and this is what i found.small chance but is the internet lying to me?
 Calientecutie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 36
We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/11/2009 7:13:56 AM
you are young...take your time...your first sexual experience should be special...i advise you to get to know him more...chat online...then talk on the phone...if you are interested...meet for cofee and date..do not rush...i wish somebody would have given me this advice...take care
 roseyn
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 37
We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:44:41 AM
If you want to throw all that out the window or have a relationship based just on sex then you should go ahead.
If you want something with substance that lasts, then what you really need to do , since you have such a special connection, is wait as long as possible and get to know the person without having sex that fast
 idoc_steve
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 38
We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/11/2009 9:17:51 AM
idoc_steve: Angel, speaking for myself...unlike some of the meanies on this thread, I was not bashing you. In fact, after responding to one another's posts on this thread a few times I feel that we know each other very well, and I think it's time we have sex. But if you want to catch a movie first, that works for me.


Angell32 :idock_steve- the answer is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Yuk


Too bad I really liked you. From the back and forth responses we have had on this thread I am certain we are soulmates and you are everything I am looking for in a relationship.

You can get pregnant if sperm gets into your vagina and up to your eggs. That's the only way. If your male partner has some sperm in his mouth just before he has cunnilingus with you there is a chance. But if you both understand how babies are made then this is extremely unlikely.


If your male partner has sperm in his mouth there just might be other problems here.
 angell32
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 39
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We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:11:03 AM
Aren't you and eye doctor? funny my mom works in the opticial bussiness.
 Jac Biker Gal
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 40
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We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:13:06 AM
Seriously OP, speaking as someone who lost their virginity at 16, stop and think about what you are considering doing with someone who is still a stranger to you, until you have met you are strangers, you may have some inkling of what this man is like, but until you see their body language towards you, hear the tone in their voice and the look in thier eyes you do NOT know them. This is a huge step in any persons life, you cannot go back on it, make sure it is with the right person and more importantly at the right time in your life, regrets stay with you a lifetime.
The man I lost my virginity to was my boyfirend I had known him just over a week, we had met up everyday since we met, I know many people will say it was way too soon, but we were both ready and sure of each other and both virgins, that man became my husband and we were together in total for 23 years, I don't consider that even though that marriage ended it was a failed marriage, it had run it's course and I have two great sons from it and my only single regret is that in some ways I lost my teenage years, but as I'm enjoying my 2nd teenage I'm making up for that now with the wisdom I would not have had back then.
OP Just make sure you do not throw yourself at this man, lets face it some men (not man bashing here btw) would say they feel you are their soul mate in order to sleep with you they can't help the way their testosterone affects them, many other may well haev very genuine feeling that they have met the woman they are searching for, try to be certain which type of man you have MET until you consider having sex with him. Good luck
 idoc_steve
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 41
We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:14:33 AM

Angell32 : Aren't you and eye doctor? funny my mom works in the opticial bussiness.


Don't you get it yet?

I'm your MOTHER!

No sex until I say it's ok and you and I have the "talk".

You got that?

 Pitch Blease
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 42
We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:35:12 AM
I lost my virginity to George Glass. He made me put on an afro wig and yell "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" doing the deed after we finally watched Davey Jones perform. He wanted me to give him oral but he slipped and ended up with me screaming "oh my nose!!!" Then the family got together and put on the Variety Hour to save our house from being taken away. We sang "Gonna Keep On, Keep On, Keep On, Keep On, Dancing all through the night". My brother Greg and sis Marsha were having a secret affair because Doug (the big man on campus) kept having "something suddenly came up". Then it turns out Dad was gay! I think I'm going to go ask Alice to make me some pork chops and apple sauce that she got from Sam the butcher.

Looking back now, I wish I had the internet so I could just see a movie then get to the sex. OP you're so lucky.
 ThisIsMee
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 43
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We just met online and ready to have sex
Posted: 8/11/2009 4:39:48 PM

You can get pregnant if sperm gets into your vagina and up to your eggs. That's the only way.


This means sexual INTERCOURSE.


If your male partner has some sperm in his mouth just before he has cunnilingus with you there is a chance.


This happens if (1) you have a threesome with another male, or (2) you blow him, he cums in your mouth, and you spit it back into his before he goes down on you. - and that's effin kinky.


But if you both understand how babies are made then this is extremely unlikely.


Which I am starting to wonder if you really DO understand.


There is no chance of sperm from your stomach reaching your eggs. There are no little tubes connecting stomach and womb, so there is no way for sperm to get there.


Thank you for proving my point.


Thisismee-Yeah i did a little research and this is what i found.small chance but is the internet lying to me?


In this case, no the internet isn't lying to you...you just don't know how to read.

**Sorry for being rude, but you really should understand the idiot thing you are trying to do. It's sad really.
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