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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/12/2009 3:00:52 PM | kinda wiggly and quick?
sounds about right to me...
i agree with this post to a degree:
The way some are talking we should cut off all television shows with children in them, remove all printed ads with child models and lock our kids up in the house so no one looks at them until they're adults.
and i used to post pictures on myspace of my kids... however, i got to thinking that i wouldn't like someone posting a bunch of photos of me without my permission, so decided not to do that any longer
plus, people who are looking to date are looking to date adults, not their kids (hopefully) so it makes sense for people to put pictures of just themselves up...
however, even though i can understand both 'sides' of the debate... i still don't have a problem with someone putting up a picture of them with a child, if the child is fully clothed and appropriate of course - it's just sharing a part of the parent's lives, as i said
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/12/2009 3:50:43 PM | | I have them up because they are part of my life, the most important part, and also, the latest pictures I have are with them.... I am sure you don't want to see the ones with me and someone I date. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/12/2009 3:53:47 PM |
NO WAY! Unless it's something like Facebook, where only your known friends you have not and probably will not have children in your life, so you really aren't qualified to blab your opinion....when your a good mom, and have invested your life in children, and the joy they bring, then...open your trap and I will listen, until then
stfu | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:58:27 PM | I am now sitting here with a friend who just came to visit, who is a former police psychologist and has had a lot of contact with sex offenders, predators and other deviant personality types. (He's also the parent of two school-aged kids.) I showed him this thread and he was livid. He asked me to write this on his behalf:
"Anyone who posts pictures of young kids, be they your kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews or the kid from down the street on an online dating site needs their goddamned head examined! This is highly exploitive, and downright dangerous. Even if these kids aren't in any imminent physical danger, do you want some pervert whacking off to a photo of them? Hate to be so crude, but this happens all the time. So I implore those who do this to knock it off, ASAP!"
Uh, I think he probably knows a little more about the subject than the rest of us on here! | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:04:56 PM |
NO WAY! Unless it's something like Facebook, where only your known friends and family can see them, posting pictures of your kids on the Internet is a majorly bad move in any venue. Furthermore, posting kid pics on an adult dating site is WAY inappropriate! I would not even consider dating a man who posts photos of his kids. Aside from the obvious dangers, I know a lot of people who use their kids as marketing tools to sell themselves. The message often is, "Oh, look what a gentle, sensitive guy I am!" Then you find out that they ignored their kids when they were married. I once made the mistake of dating a guy who sent me a picture of himself with his young kids, and he later used the kids as an excuse to avoid getting involved in a relationship. (SURPRISE! He totally ignored his kids--as well as his wife--when he was married. Then, after his wife dumped his a**, he magically became Father of the Year. PUH-LEEZE!) Once again, I say NO FRIGGIN" WAY!
There is so many things wrong with this. I respect your opinion because everyone is entitled to one, but to base your opinion on a judgment call is somewhat bold and very offensive. I am glad that you would see a picture of me and my daughter and be repulsed because after reading your comments regarding men "in general", I am totally repulsed by you. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:14:52 PM | I agre omicronrex ....I am also repulsed by her, and if you live in fear of the crazy people in this world, than you might as well stay in a closet and get off the internet.... tell your friend, that police officers are known to be the biggest jerks on earth, they are KNOWN to be power strugglers, who manipulate and abuse woman....
reguardless opinions are like a..holes, everyone has one...and I would question a 52yr old spintzers opinion on childrens photos.....absolutely | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/12/2009 7:04:28 PM |
I am now sitting here with a friend who just came to visit, who is a former police psychologist and has had a lot of contact with sex offenders, predators and other deviant personality types. (He's also the parent of two school-aged kids.) I showed him this thread and he was livid. He asked me to write this on his behalf:
"Anyone who posts pictures of young kids, be they your kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews or the kid from down the street on an online dating site needs their goddamned head examined! This is highly exploitive, and downright dangerous. Even if these kids aren't in any imminent physical danger, do you want some pervert whacking off to a photo of them? Hate to be so crude, but this happens all the time. So I implore those who do this to knock it off, ASAP!"
Uh, I think he probably knows a little more about the subject than the rest of us on here!
Sorry, but most of us don't know who this former police psychologist is, know what his credentials are, how long he has been working with the police and in what capacity. So I am not taking this as a credible source.
predators do not need a picture to find a victim with children, all they have to do is read a profile to learn who does or who does not have children. it is foolish to think that having a picture with your children increases your chances of being a victim. predators will target the adult with the lowest resistance and that can be discovered in the first conversation with or without a picture.
Yep, saying yes, for children on dating site they already know you have children. A dating site is a rather hard way of getting access to someones kids. Still have to go through parents at a minimum.
The biggest problem is leaving your children on the Internet unsupervised. Often they join chat, networking sites often violating terms of service as they lie about their age. Adults often let kids have computers in their own rooms with Internet access. Its very easy for predators to have direct access to the child themselves, without parents knowledge through these means. | |
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.Kels.
| | Joined: 10/11/2008
Msg: 35 | |
| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/12/2009 8:14:46 PM | i hate seeing photos up like that, makes me wonder what they are really looking for, any mom who is ok with you seeing their child right of the bat, is a red flag to me
im a single mom , i dont discuss my child on my page nor do i have photos of him up because im out looking for someone i can date and get to know, not my son to date and get to know if that makes sense.
children should never get involved until it gets serious | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/13/2009 1:31:52 AM | I would not post a picture of my children on any site in the internet. I dont care if people think this makes me paranoid or what, they can totally get bent with how much I simply dont care about their opinion.
And I am always shocked that women and people in general just post away, but even more so on a dating site where single men are looking for women and not always on the up and up. Maybe on a page made just for friends and family, I can see that but not this genre of site. . . I think it is stupid....
^T^ | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/13/2009 4:14:36 AM | "Children make up 70% of our population and 100% of our future." A single "parent" no matter how old the children are, should come as a package deal. However, as Kels and some others said, posting pictures of your children is more of a security issue. Both my daughters have their own Facebook and Myspace accounts. My oldest is 19. To this day, they both only use their first name and middle name.
Because of my daughters, I am careful of who I give my last name to and just don't throw it out to anyone.
(This is not only a great post, but very important for all parents to consider) | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/13/2009 3:33:16 PM | | Any woman or for that matter, man who puts their children, particularily young ones, on an internet dating site are taking a big risk. There are alot of weirdos out their just seeking out singles with children. This has been discussed on any number of forums as a bad idea. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/13/2009 3:44:57 PM | Well, I don't know about single moms but for my profile pic I searched through close to a thousand pics and the only ones with me in them I was with my kids.
Embarrassing but true: The photo I'm using now is of me hugging Eeyore. It was that or Minnie Mouse, Minnie was a better picture but I couldn't crop the mouse out...
It's very difficult to setup a photo shoot by yourself to try and make a good profile pic. Seems there's always so much more to do and when looking at pictures of yourself they never seem quite right.
Maybe we need to setup local events for POF members to take decent photos. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/13/2009 3:52:10 PM |
im a single mom , ... children should never get involved until it gets serious
And there's a big catch 22. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
I wouldn't get serious with anyone until they've met my kids and shown that they can get along with them. How anyone potentially serious relates to my kids is a make or break issue.
Dates won't meet the kids for a while, but they'll be seeing pictures and listening to me talk about the kids from the first date. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/13/2009 3:53:41 PM | | My initial guess is that those unaware that post pictures of their kid(s) are doing it as a warning for those who aren't interested in kids or dealing with them. Little do they know, that it can indeed be a safety hazard for the kid in general with all the pedophiles out there and all. It wouldn't hurt for POF to put a warning notice in the photo section for those with kids. Just my 2 cents. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/13/2009 4:04:20 PM | The issue is-- predators know:
where you live, what you look like, your size, what you like to do, your profession, AND what your children look like. A few simple questions and they know exactly how and where to find you, and your kids. It doesn't take much to figure it out when people have their locations listed
How easy is it for a predator to recognize your kid from a photo, approach them, and have an instant rapport based on all they know about your life? | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/13/2009 4:49:40 PM | Personally, I don't think it's appropriate. This is not the place for children in more ways than one. Men do this quite often as well. I find it to be exploitive to the kids.
I'm a single parent; I don't involve my daughter in my dating life. That's the way it will be until I meet someone that I want to settle down with. | |
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ceoil
| | Joined: 6/12/2009
Msg: 44 | |
| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/14/2009 8:08:31 PM | I dont understand why ANYONE post pictures of a child on their profile. Man or woman.
The child isnt old enough to decide whether it wants its photo published on a datingsite or not.
I would never do it myself. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/15/2009 10:13:26 AM |
i hate seeing photos up like that, makes me wonder what they are really looking for, any mom who is ok with you seeing their child right of the bat, is a red flag to me
BINGO! I wonder what some of the parents are thinking when posting photos of their kids. Some seem to be looking for a substitute father figure, not a dating relationship. I am not against children or wary of dating single mothers, but that part should come much, much later. Not upfront. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/15/2009 11:26:23 AM | Don't do it, this is an adult dating site and the internet is a most inappropriate place for
pictures of your children.
I am a single parent and I don't include my children in my dating life. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:06:35 PM | I think it's sickening.
I guess it's just not reasonable to check the spot in one's profile saying that they've got kids, for some reason these parents think we need evidence. Don't get it. Don't want to. | |
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