| | Single moms and pictures of their kids on profilePage 4 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | I post photos of my kids on sites that i use to social network. When i was looking to date i took them down, but i only use the site for forums, mainly to connect with other parents.
I dont anyone is going to come through my computer screen, unless there is some new technology i have not heard about, & the people i know in person that i keep in touch with on the internet, are people i trust around my family.
Yes it is true that some unsavory pedo could be thinking bad thoughts about pics of kids, but those same individuals could be at the grocery store, the mall, the zoo, a restaurant, the park, at Disney World, or living on my street. I am not going to keep them locked in a tower a la Rapunzel because there might be a sicko lurking about.
Nobody is going to get past me , i am a redneck Mama, & go by the creed "my home & my children are protected by the Good Lord & a shotgun, you try to get past me & you will be meeting both. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 9/26/2011 8:02:32 PM | | I did have a picture of me and my son at one time on this site. But lets face it.. Why should anyone on a dating site be posting pictures of their kids here? We are dating the person not their kids. Also for the love of gawd do not be introducing your children right off the bat. Nothing good can come from that, until a real relationship is started 6 months down the road. I don't want to subject my son to different women all the time. Kids figure it out. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 9/26/2011 10:03:08 PM | | Well lets see...because women are usually the ones who take care of their kids full time. they want guys to know that their kids are in their life and they are very important. and yes possibly to weed out guys who don't like kids or want kids. I have a pic of my son because he is adorable and the love of my life. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/3/2011 1:08:35 AM | I would never put photos of my kids on a dating site and I am very VERY hesitant to contact men who post photos of their kids.
My kids are my #1 priority and always come first. That is the reason I DON'T post photos of my children. Men need to know they will have my limited attention and be aware that until they reach a certain level of commitment, they will not meet or even be in the passing presence of my children. Since I've started dating (9 months ago) not a single man has met my kids. It has not gotten to that point with anyone. I do my best to keep my dating life totally separate from my family life until it will be appropriate to mix the two.
Some people introduce their kids when their date comes and picks them up for the first time and some never do until moving in or marriage is on the table. I hope to strike a good middle ground. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/3/2011 9:49:27 AM | | Well yes i'm proud of my son. Doc told me i couldn't have kids so he is more like a miracle...that's why i like to show him off because he is someone i never thought i would have in my life. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/3/2011 7:41:56 PM | My kids are in a couple of my pictures simply because most of the pictures i have , have them in them! not beause im showing them off. Just because.
as for the pervert issue, anyone who is a parent has to watch out for that regardless of picture up or not. i would think any one with kids is potential target because obviously we want our S/O to get on with our kids. it would happen less if we had common sense
But its kind of like pictures with alcohol or such IF all pictures have kids THEN i would wonder.( i love my kids and probably to some talk too much ao of is kids- i bout them, but i can and do enjoy talking about something else. But id wonder if someone with all kid pictures could talk about anything else!)
i also think its cute of a dad has a pic or two of his kids. i think its sweet, but thats just me. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/3/2011 7:47:27 PM | Chrome-
know its not the place but because of your replies i looked at your profile- your son is very cute and dont care what anyone says if you are a parent ( especially since its a miracle you didnt expect) you shhould be proud. Nothing wrong with a little parental pride
Just my opinion | |
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| Single mom's and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/4/2011 12:54:12 AM |
Well lets see...because women are usually the ones who take care of their kids full time. they want guys to know that their kids are in their life and they are very important. and yes possibly to weed out guys who don't like kids or want kids. I have a pic of my son because he is adorable and the love of my life.
Its fairly obvious that kids are going to be a part of your life if you just tick the "I have kids" box. I also dont think it needs saying that theyre an important part of your life either as this is for most people, common sense. If guys don't like, or want kids then they wont really be contacting you if they glanced at that little option.
I don't see the need, or reasoning to have a photo of kids in your profile what so ever. I do not have any interest in getting to know anyone's offspring so early on. I want to know the person who wants to pursue a romantic relationship.
My parents are a massive part of my life, so are my friends, yet i dont go on about them or post pictures of them on my profile. I tell people about me, why they should choose to date me. I wouldnt expect you to meet my family or be told theyre massive part of my life, because it goes without saying. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/4/2011 4:41:52 AM |
Lots of single parents go on and on about 'my kids are my WORLD and they come first,' (God if I read that over-used cliche one more time my brain is going to explode)
LOL....yeah, they're the masters of stating the obvious. Or this, "me and my kids are a package deal!" | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/4/2011 7:21:33 AM | | Equally as a woman and a single mum myself, i DONT post pics of my family on here as im the one dating. I am seeing an increase in men posting pics of there kids on here too...Obviously many singles have children from previous relationships and it can show there parental responsibilty and accepting of others who also have children, but i have to say, when i see pics of men with their kids i tend not to be interested....men like to show off their bodies on the beach whilst having a child sat next to them what??? | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/4/2011 8:25:59 AM | Shouldnt be legal
Shouldnt be allowed by sites
Shouldnt even cross the mind of a decent parent to even consider doing this in the first place
Although it is admittedly massively overhyped and one of the most commonly used forms of government orchestrated scare mongering there are still paedos out there
And like anyone else they have preferences
So, as with a normal hetro man or woman who looks at photos till they see something they like parents having photos of their kids allows a paedo to be able to do the same
Once they find a kid or kids they like the look of all they need to do then is charm the mother, say whatever she wants to hear etc
And the problem there as with many other undesireable types like con merchants, users etc is they are often very adept and skilled at intuiting what someone wants and appearing to be exactly that
There is absolutely no good reason whatsoever for people on a dating site to see photos of your kids, NONE
So however miniscule the risk might be isnt important when they just arent necessary to begin with | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/4/2011 11:26:51 AM | | First of all, this mike guy likes to comment on every single one of my posts no matter what because i think he just likes putting me down. Anyway, it seems like people are calling me a bad mother because i do have pics of my son on here. I think he is adorable and i like showing him off. Nothing more than that. So if you think i put up pics of him to get guys to date me....that's far from the truth. If someone doesn't wanna date me because i do have a kid then that's fine they can move on but i'm telling you that there are not alot of women out there who don't have kids. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/4/2011 12:11:20 PM | I have a pic with my Son in it. I think MikeWM knows I have a pretty good set of morals (from what he's seen here on the forums that is) and in his defense he's pretty level headed when it comes to his posts. chromelove08, I wouldn't take what he or any other poster has to say to heart. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, as long as they are not shoving their views down your throat then all is good in the world.
As mentioned, I have a pic with my Son. I put it in my profile to emphasize that he is part of who I am. But I am looking for a long term relationship and the man who meets him will be in the same frame of mind. If I was just looking for casual dating then I absolutely would not put a picture of him up. Mute point though since I have already found my fish...who also has a kid. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/4/2011 12:25:44 PM |
I would never put photos of my kids on a dating site and I am very VERY hesitant to contact men who post photos of their kids.
My kids are my #1 priority and always come first. That is the reason I DON'T post photos of my children
I do my best to keep my dating life totally separate from my family life until it will be appropriate to mix the two.
Very well said and I couldn't agree more. Think of some of the creepy messages we receive on here. Do you really want those same people ogling pics of your kids? No way, no how, not happening. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/4/2011 12:26:54 PM | Chromey
Having been on forum and discussion sites for many years as both a user and administering them this and practically every other topic that crops up on here is one that has done the rounds MANY times before on practically ever site whether its a dating site or not
So as much as you seem to think otherwise I already have an opinion on this and many other topics not simply due to having seen it discussed countless dozens of times before but also due to also having been a parent myself for over two decades
So as much as you seem to think I dream up my responses purely for your benefit and disgruntlement youre sorely mistaken. Infact I didnt read any posts on this thread before or after posting as my opinion isnt likely to change on the subject now anyway so I wasnt even aware you HAD posted
Infact I can guarantee that most times I have probably posted near one of your posts that would have just been a coincidence too, and even if I've responded directly to one of your posts half the time I probably wouldnt even have realised that as I post my thoughts in response to whats written rather than dream up entirely new opinions on things to write based on who wrote it
As shocking as this might be to hear, but once you post on a thread that doesnt mean every single post that follows is directed solely at you nor is it written exclusively about you
Although you do seem to quite often take even the most general remarks on a topic in a personal fashion. But that alone doesnt mean they ARE personal
As for showing photos my view doesnt change based on the person, and would remain constant even with close friends who did the same
A dating site is for adults to see and meet adults so "knowing" someone has kids is really all the info someone needs along with maybe the age. Even the gender isnt really necessary to be perfectly honest
Facebook on the otherhand and sites like that are different. And even on here as I understand it photos can have a restricted visibility so even that would be "bwtter" (in my opinion)
But by the time someone became a "serious" potential partner and where knowing more about your kids was necessary surely they'd have actually met them by then anyway or would be added to facebook, could have been mailed a pic etc etc
My only point here, is that on a site that is really just for "initial" contact, and where those contacts are practically strangers which by the law of averages arent usually going to evolve into a serious relationships actually "seeing" anyones kids in a photo just isnt necessary at all as they dont have to find your kids cute really as part of deciding if they might want to date the parent,. and if they did then that would be more than enough reason to avoid them anyway
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@ msg 94 vvvvvvv
Using your kids as a crutch is just cruel
Especially if you have smelly armpits or weigh a lot | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/4/2011 12:42:12 PM | Here is my position on pics of kids:
If you are a parent it is assumed that you care about your kids and are a parent first.
If you put pictures of your kids then it is assumed that you want everyone to know that you put your kids first and will put anyone you are dating second. This is obviously not science, but the vibe I get from profiles with kid pics is that they are not serious about dating and they are using their kids' pictures as a crutch to prevent people from getting close to them. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/4/2011 1:43:08 PM | | Well i don't use my son as a crutch to get close to anyone. As a matter of fact if you wanna know, the way guys have treated me in the past have made me hesitant to get close to anyone. My babies father is actually the best man i have ever been with. We just didn't work out because we were complete opposites. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/4/2011 1:53:34 PM | Nobody said "YOU" did thought chromey, it was a "general" comment on the topic at large
Thats exactly the type of thing I meant when I said about you taking things that arent about you nor directed at you as though they are both
(DISCLAIMER - I the poster do fully acknowledge that in this particular instance this post WAS infact specifically and directly intended as a reply exclusively to the user chromelove08)
Just to avoid any further missunderstandings you understand  | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/4/2011 9:54:43 PM | A simple question for people who post pics of their kids:
Would you put the very same photos on the hood of your car for all to see?
You realize that POF is a public place with virtually no restrictions on access? You realize that anyone from anywhere with any purpose can look at your kids?
If you wouldn't advertise your kids on your car 24/7/365 to a few thousand people in your neighborhood, WHY would you show your kids to millions of people around the world? | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/4/2011 11:01:40 PM | Hmmm.. I love my parents, just don't have them on my profile pics...
I love my cat, he is cool. Odd eyed maine coon all white and huge.. But not on my profile pics.
I love my son, flipping adorable, same eyes as me, my little spitting image.. But wouldn't put him on my profile pics.
Because lets face it. This is a fishing site, your profile is your bait. If your baiting with kids, pets, vehicles, etc. What does that say about what your fishing for?
Let me break it down...
Contact->Meet->Date->Relationship->Then after a certain time when you know the relationship is going to be long term introduce your kids...
Sure its great to be proud of your kids, all that. But the first 4 parts it's all about 2 people not the kids. This is not shake and bake mix it up instant family.. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/5/2011 3:25:40 AM | What kind of clashes, I've seen photos of women in posing in front of mirrors in skimy, risque outfits, bikinis, etc...then the pictures the follow it of her kids.
Just something disturbing about that. | |
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| Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 10/5/2011 8:52:15 AM | | Ok well i guess that's how you guys feel but i don't. It's not like anyone knows where i live or anything. I have a pic of my son wherever i go. That's just how i am. I love to take pics because i love photography. If you think its wrong or bad for a woman to have a pic of her child on her profile then that's cool but not how i feel. | |
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