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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/4/2009 12:03:30 PM | I'm a guy who thinks Women have it way easier, or just not as hard as Men do when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, Boyfriend/Girlfriend, etc. Does anyone else have to agree with that?
They have a different set of problems. All things considered, I'm kinda glad I'm a man when it comes to the dating ritual. Sure, men risk getting shot down, but if you get out there and get shot down enough you get a thick skin. And the few successes press home the fact that it's a numbers game like any sales job. And if you want to be left alone at a bar or some social event, you are left alone (unless you are hot, which I ain't, so I've never had that problem.) Women have to endure a vast and various array of horse sh*t from men who try to come on to them, each man in his own jackass way. How would like the pressure of dealing with all of that? | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/5/2009 12:28:37 AM | Alot of good points have been made on this topic and it seems like a numbers game (ie only a small probability of people or a small group are actually comunicating and/or dating from this process or website.) I see alot of lookers, less initiators and/or acceptors, and probably less hook ups.
Maybe the problem is many people still rely on reality (ie physically meeting and seeing the person to talk or go out with them.) We all maybe trying this website but we'll probably still end up getting somebody we actually see out there at work or on the street etc. I think this is a good way to see who's available etc but really seeing someone and how they act and present themselves in reality is usually what leads to solid relationships. I've tried messaging people on here and got maybe one or two responses in the few years I have been on here on and off. I haven't actually met anyone from here. My last two gf's have been from "out there."
I think there is some trueth to the drive theory. I think, while I've met women recently, who like a good roll in the hay and bless them for that, I think many women don't have the high sex drive or the desire or knowledge of it compared to your average male. Or maybe they've become discouraged by dating or marriage, or long term relationships or their current situation, to be really attracted to the prospect of trying again. I think age and hormones, media or the zeitgest of the day plays out with the expectation as well.
Maybe depending on what the person wants like raising kids is starting to effect relationships. People aren't getting married as much anymore. The divorce rates are high. The economy sucks. Global warming is threatening the planet as well etc. I think even certain cultures are more procreative then say north america now. And their economies that have been established as cheap labour or lax environmental laws are growing. | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/5/2009 9:24:11 AM | If the woman wants sex just as much as the guy, how could she be geting used for sex? I hate this double standard where it's like a mans needs and feelings should not matter as much as a womans.
Women tend to look beyond the sex and want the guy, therefore have the sex, whereas a lot of guys are all about the sex and don't often care what happens with the woman when it's over (unless it's good sex and then they may want another shot at it). Instead of enjoying it for what it is (if it is indeed enjoyable). It's much better to live in the moment, at least when it comes to emotions and attachment. | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/5/2009 10:52:22 AM |
think I have had more criticizing about being 40 and not ever being married and not having any kids. I can't believe how many women frown upon that and yet if I had kids and an ex-wife I would be criticized as well.
I dunno, people who criticize about this can't be living in the same reality as most of us are today.
There are so many factors that go into whether a person is either married or not, why they are divorced etc., etc.
I think that people who look down on folks like the above probably just never met good people who were in those situations. Or maybe they just lack faith in people in general. And most of those folks claim to be "religious". | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/6/2009 3:04:02 AM | I've been thinking more and more about this topic and I think yes, women GENERALLY have it better or easier in dating, relationships etc. And here's why:
1. From the get go the male has to ask the woman out. Just by this first action it can seem like men need women more or that perhaps the willing woman is doing the guy a favour by accepting. It's like asking "can I" or you need approval based on her decision. He asks and she makes the decision maybe and the decision making is in her hands. Asking out a lady can be trying especially in front of friends. Some people can be really cruel in this regard as well. I saw an older guy, the other night, get shot down by a pack of ladies who pretty much mocked him and then took off. I thought it was bad idea to approach them as he was pretty drunk. Luckily he probably won't remember a thing. It could have been done better, he could have been taken aside or a "no thanks I have a boyfriend..." Heck even the in-laws or friends or
2. The usual protocol of the guy asking is more likely to to make average or above average women more likely to get a partner because the guy has to ask. I hate to say some women think it's not easy to get guys, well first off they have (guys or ladies) to have the guts to ask. Again without being a jerky here, alot of women are larger on here, let's be honest. I think looks play a big part on who is asked out. There are alot of people on here to choose from, so the most attractive or appealing people will get the most hits. The top rated people are the most attractive anyhow like it or not.
3. Even the marriage proposal traditionally, getting ahead of myself here maybe but I'm trying to look at the whole picture, involves the guy getting on the knee and asking for her hand. The ring getting presented involves quite a bit of money and I think she can keep it as well, if he's rejected, is the usual procedure. Correct me if I'm wrong here. I think some people do promise rings as well. Of course not everyone is getting married but traditionally there are certain routines involved.
4. Traditionally and even with modern feminism I think the guy usually ends of paying most of the tabs. Guys hung up about money usually don't have long term relationships. The looking for the "doctor" thing proves this (again I'm generalizing here.) Buying a house and raising kids or just the cost of living is expensive. I think the "born to shop" or "keeping up with the Jones" marketing pressure and social pressure plays out like it or not. "Strong males" or alphas usually have good jobs or own businesses and have lots stuff or kids etc. Money is probably the biggest cause of break-ups farther so there's no denying its a big factor. Even in divorce dividing assets and the "half" thing comes up regardless of how long the relationship lasted or who contributed more. Males not flipping the bill so to speak are less likely to get the most "desirable" women in theory. Super models and top actresses don't usually hang with the average Joe and likewise usually.
5. Full or more child custody usually goes to the women. This is starting to change based on equality or the partner with more money on stability.
6. In divorce many women usually get the house if the couple got one. Again big money.
7. Social support usually favours women. Men have less social support structures to help them through divorces or abuse.
8. In rape cases, and physical abuse, usually the women's word is taken to be right one.
I had a few more things I could have added to this list. However, GENERALLY speaking, the whole dating, relationship, marriage and separation, appears to be still in favour of women in IMHO. | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/7/2009 3:37:48 AM | | I agree with you. It is hard for any decent men in the dating scene. Men are expected to pay for everything on the date and in the present employment situation that is very hard. A man can ask a woman out that he finds interesting, spend a decent amount of money and in the end it will just be a waste of time. It seem like alot of women complain that there are no decent men out there but there are. We are just either skint, unemployed or we cant go out at weekends because we spend that time with our kids because that is the only time we get to see them. Decent men arent given a fair chance and it can be hard but we must keep on trying. | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/7/2009 9:31:25 AM | I think no matter what we do these days dating is tough for either gender. We live in a world that is so judgemental before we even know the person, and think he or she isn't worth our time, and for many reasons. Oh they don't look good enough, or they are too big, or they don't dress they way I like. I think society(including myself) is too picky these days. We want perfection and we are NEVER NEVER NEVER going to find it, no matter how hot the person is or how much money the person has.
Another thing IMO, is people have a hard time trusting others these days, because some people lie so much, so that makes us judge against our history, which is totally the wrong thing to do. Just because the last biaaaatch or diaaack lied to you or cheated on you, doesn't mean the next one will, but we are afraid of that.
Another thing IMO is people think others are so stuck up, when most of the time it is a stranger that we are dealing with and we tend to be shy and hesitant at first. But instead of giving them the chance(again, I am guilty as well) we think they are terribly stuck up people and we don't give ourselves a chance to get to know them to find out they are truly a great person.
And the last thing, is we think we need to jump right into a relationship, and if someone isn't into that and wants to take their time getting to know someone, the other person gets impatient. Like everything else about relationships we all put too much pressure on ourselves and the person we are persuing.
JMO for what ever it is worth | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/7/2009 10:14:32 AM | The roles are changing, they haven't completey changed everywhere, and it may not change everywhere for everyone. In this little spot in the world it is still very traditional. The women expect to be pursued for the most part. I had the experience of one very attractive woman approach me in a bar and I found it very confusing and awkward. I wasn't intimidated, it just felt like a role reversal. I was intersted but suspicious. My bad. Have to get used to the new world order I guess.
I guess to answer your question with a question, does it matter? I mean that in that context of searching for a mate. It's difficult for both genders.
Happy Fishing. | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/7/2009 10:21:38 AM | I have found in my experience, that men take exceptionally longer to get over someone than women do. For example my last partner (I shan't disclose what he actually did), is still not over his ex of 7 years ago. And also someone close to me who has been divorced now for 15 years, STILL hasn't found another partner because they think all women are like his ex wife. I think men make it hard from themselves.
I don't agree with the guy who said women expect men to pay for everything when it comes to dates etc. That's just bullsh*t. I would much rather go 50/50 as I don't feel I should make a guy pay for everything, that's selfish! I'm very much an equal opportunist.
However, on the flip side - I must again defend men...(don't kill me, girls!) I once went out on a date with a woman, many years ago when I was very confused. I actually walked out on the date, mid way through, because I found her behaviour completely inappropriate - all night slagging off other women, giving nasty looks to a group of pikey women (that was very touch and go at that point...) she generally thought herself a cut abover everyone else. I couldn't take her attitude any more and walked out on her. I tell you what, men must have a bloody hard time with some of us, I really felt sorry for myself!
I've also had disastrous dates with men, where they've got so drunk I walked out, got a cab home. Now I'm not saying all fellas do that, I'm sure some women have been known to but I think we're all going to experience negativity within our efforts at the dating game, its so hard not to generalise but when we're faced with it so frequently, one cannot help but do so.
Give and take. Thats what its about, and knowing your limits - especially when you know you've picked a baddun. Can't just say we've got it easier because it doesn't work like that.
Thats just what I think.  | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/7/2009 12:58:20 PM |
I've heard phrases like that before, I know it is Tradition for the Man to be the pursuer, initiator, or it's just nature like you stated, Yes I know it is unfair, and I am completely aware that life is unfair in general, I know that a lot of women probably think it is unfair that they have to be the ones to get pregnant and endure the pain of childbirth. Yes you do have a good valid point, in a way, Yes I am complaining, but I am also just stating my opinion on Dating and Relationships, stating the facts. The Chooser generally has it easier than the Picker, Done!.
Become the chooser Dru... choose what you want and take it.
Quit crying. | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/7/2009 5:52:36 PM |
OpnHrt69: A man can ask a woman out that he finds
interesting, spend a decent amount of money and
in the end it will just be a waste of time.
Then probably advisable to do something inexpensive
on the first date. At least until you've verified basic
compatibility, and by that time, if the relationship
looks like a go, you will normally be sharing the dating
expenses somewhat equally anyway. | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/8/2009 2:22:50 AM | Dru
If it's hopeless and you see no light at the end of the tunnel there are other options...
For people who don't want to see/hear what I'm going to say cover your eyes and ears:
If its just a sex problem there's always shaking hands with Kodjak. Some guys are into rub and tugs as well. Maybe a visit to the local strip club might turn up something as well. Escorts are out there as well.
So don't give up. There are other ways around dating obviously if that's the problem. I guess if typing too much on forums may render (carporal tunnel) some unable to meet Kodjak, I don't know?!?
Of course there's more to this, or there should be more to this (the desire,) but sometimes not getting any feels worse then it really is...
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/8/2009 11:39:32 AM |
but there are more Men that have bad luck with dating than there are Women who have bad luck with dating because Men almost all the time have to make the first move and do the pursuing.
Cripes on a cracker man! Your incessant whining is nauseating. If you are going to continue with a low percentage play strategy, then you better expect the low pecentages. If you listen to the majority of the men that complain about their low success rate you may start to notice that they take no time to even figure out WHO the body they are approaching is. That is most likely the real issue here, they arent approaching a woman, they are approaching a body to have sex with. So why on earth would they be surprised that the person inside the body isnt interested in them? I imagine that if you took the time to ask most women, they would tell you that the people they date are not random strangers, that there is some sort of prior contact or interaction that allowed them to get a better idea of who the man was and that factored in the decision to take it to the dating stage.
Somehow I dont think your problem is in being a guy, I get the feeling you are putting out the same childish vibe that you are in this thread and not too many women would find that appealing, kind of like dating your 12 year old brother.... | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/8/2009 11:44:40 AM | This is completely true OP as decreed by wicked shoe theorem which lets face ive not actuallt set on a profile eek i mean post in an eon
and here the hows and shys (whys) in simplistic format
The following is my own perspective only and isnt an absolute rule and saves me typing a variation all the time on threads :)
[u]Wicked-shoe-theorem [/u]
Girl gets 100 pairs of dubious shoes thrust under her nose. (100 emails)
Girl bemoans the content whiny style.
Girl requires a new pair of shoes (actual shoes)
Girl visits many shoe shops, a great many shoes shops.
Girl chooses from a gabillion million shoes she went to the actual bother of looking at - real choice.
Thus in theory many a girl, not all, hold in higher esteem the action of picking a new pair of shoes as opposed to the complete apathetic inaction of choosing ones true love and have the brazen cheek to whine about it.
your alluding to equitable choice in my opinion OP - i agree | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/9/2009 3:21:01 AM | Wicked, you appear to be a crazy MOFU. Just check out his profile! Hilarious!
I think Bow and this "Shoe Theory" are in there as well...
I just saw some new study or experts on the net, on why alot of people are single after a long period. Simular to what Bow was talking about.
Apparently many people have it in their heads that's they're so good and self-sufficient or perfect that they don't need partners. Or their requirements for the ideal partner are so high and unplausible that they will never get that ideal partner. Past historical luggage, stereotypes may blunder trying or maybe slugging it out with new relationships. I think the usual suspects like parents and peers are quick to judge partners and talkout the person from continuing with the relationship. Makes sense with the climate out there. With feminism, media, or delluded narcistic propaganda from parents and teachers (over promotion of feminism) spouting stratopheric ideals in partners and/or self image or goals etc, it's no wonder it's harder to find partners that can compromise or see the real situation.
There should be more emphasis in schools and media etc on compromise, give and take, making relationships last and not breaking up on small differences. Heck even our role models like actresses and actors, maybe for some, make marriage a joke by marrying and divorcing like throwing on a pair of socks.
So Mr. or Miss Perfect don't exist. And you'll probably never meet them on Earth or in daily life anyhow. Compromise is a good thing. Give and take is good. Fighting the system, knowing how to cope with stress and not taking these out on your partner are good things and not empowerment. Empowerment IMHO is fighting people who oppress and plunder the couple that should be working together against them.
I think what's occuring in NA is by design anyhow. Classic devide and conquer. Couples are so indoctrinated in narcisism and inflexiblity in relationships ignoring bigger issues that they should unify and fight against. The environment, outsourcing, other rights and freedoms are getting ignored while people blicker over none-sense. Other cultures that aren't hung up on sexism or can live together are growing and will surpass North America. | |
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| I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc.
Posted: 9/9/2009 7:46:33 AM | With feminism, media, or delluded narcistic propaganda from parents and teachers (over promotion of feminism) spouting stratopheric ideals in partners and/or self image or goals etc, it's no wonder it's harder to find partners that can compromise or see the real situation.
==============
Oh, god, here we go again. I think men have no idea what they are saying when they talk about feminism. None of us will go back to the days when men rules us with iron fists--sorry, you were born too late. AND, if you never wanted that in the first place, YOU are a feminist, Dan.
And then he comes in with a world-wide conspiracy theory:
I think what's occuring in NA is by design anyhow. Classic devide and conquer. Couples are so indoctrinated in narcisism and inflexiblity in relationships ignoring bigger issues that they should unify and fight against. The environment, outsourcing, other rights and freedoms are getting ignored while people blicker over none-sense. Other cultures that aren't hung up on sexism or can live together are growing and will surpass North America.
Look, if YOU want to be in a relationship, YOU go out and seek a woman YOU want. It is futile and, quite frankly, narcissistic and inflexible of YOU to insist women change for YOU. | |
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