For the folks that look more linearly and want a direct approach...state it...ask for it.. demand it even...if that's what you want... If you're looking for direct communication---it's start with you bud...put that in your profile. You'll eliminate loads of us that like the banter...'and the game'...sounds like what half of these 22 pages have been yammering for...so go for it.

There's no legitimate reason that honest and blunt communication cannot also be playful, sexual and flirtatious while being honest, direct, and clear.

Whether you like it or not there is a "flow" to interacting with people and within that flow there is a lot of information gathering going on. Flirting is actually information gathering, it is quite amazing what you can find out while doing it. For all of you that say you hate putting yourself out there, flirting is the perfect vehicle for testing for interest going forward, without actually having to put yourself out there. I dont know too many women who actually take flirting all that seriously from a man at first, but if she is interested in you she can play along and encourage it, its the perfect segue into determining if there is mutual interest.

Perhaps there is some misunderstanding as to what flirting really is, flirting is part and parcel within a converation, it is not a stand alone thing. I think some are taking this to the extreme to prove their point...

When she sees a guy she likes she will do the hints, but she does not want to come across as if she is the one approaching because she doesn't want to be seen as easy, and she wants the type of male that is willing to take a risk and pursue.




Chances are she is also aware that a lot of men will take what is offered regardless if there is any interest or not...

If you are so self centered

BINGO!!!! Over, and Over, and Over again.....as if they are trying to either impress someone or fool people into thinking their intelligence level is far superior to ours.

I don't believe that there is ONE women on here that the two of you are smarter than.

Funny I never knew for one second that flirting and players or game playing was the same thing at all .

What I am getting here is that there are a number of men who will not ask a woman out no matter what. Fine. They aren't interested in flirting and having fun getting to know each other fine again.

Maybe I'm just stupid, or very socially retarded, but I can't read "body language" worth a shit.
I'd but rather have a woman tell me directly that she's interested in me, rather than expect me to understand gestures and clues. Wasn't that why spoken language was invented in the first place?

But trust me, gentlemen, there are, for every principled, choosy,honorable male participant of Adventures in Modern Dating, at least 3 d*ckruled losers who will stick their weiner in any hole available.

I do understand what you are saying, but what you dont seem to take into consideration is that at first blush that may not be apparent to her, so to her, you are just another guy approaching her.

How could she know that you arent just another guy working the room until he gets a yes?

Do you really think you are the first guy to use that as a pick up technique?

Do you not take into consideration how much bullcrap we have all had to wade through.

That would come with interaction and some sort of intelligent conversation, which you wont get if you keep walking away because she cant read your mind.

Whether you like it or not there is a "flow" to interacting with people and within that flow there is a lot of information gathering going on.

For all of you that say you hate putting yourself out there, flirting is the perfect vehicle for testing for interest going forward

Perhaps there is some misunderstanding as to what flirting really is

Nicely put. Here's one guy that has women figured out. You need to give others lessons.

I was the one that pointed to this only because there are some posters on here that were adamant that they cannot understand anything other than the spoken word.

I said that I highly doubted that because if they were able to maintain succesful platonic relationships, work with other people and have positive interaction with other people, that would be highly unlikely as ANY relationship, friendship and interacting with human beings requires reading body language and subtle skills.

It's my opinion that we are all best served when communication is blunt, honest, and real. No bullshyt tossed in with charming innuendo.

There's no legitimate reason that honest and blunt communication cannot also be playful, sexual and flirtatious while being honest, direct, and clear. (For me intelligence is also a real plus as stupid flirty men are sucha drag!)

Anyone with any corporate experience in professional communication or marketing understands the theories involved in gender, socialization, messages sent, and the receiver's interpretations.

Admittedly with the on-going sexual revolution and differing roles in society - we can't always do the same things in the same manner as they have always been done.

Once upon a time, all you had to do was show up at the local drive-in with a gang of your closest buddies, order a cherry cola and sit on the hood of your car waiting for "the one" to cruise by.

Welcome to the new millienium people.
Time to think about how and what you're doing in a different manner if you WANT something you don't currently have.

Me I wouldn't bet my bank account on if a woman is flirting with you and you think she is HOT, that you are going to sit back and be non active, non responsive and wait for her to just come to you ... you have your principals after all right?

If that's your attitude, then I would simply consider you to be paranoid, and not dating material.
Again, total turn off.

Do you think it is self centered to chose a look, so then why am I self centered to chose a style of man?

f you can't understand the touch of my hand, a smile directed at you, and you think I can't say anything more intelligent than mind less chatter .... then pass me on by.

I have read a number of profiles of men posters here and many (not all) describe a look of woman they want. so why not put it in your profile that you don't ask women out right beside looks and height proportionate ?

And by playing games, you generally end up with the losers. If you are direct, you'll get that in return. However, if all you want is to attract a large number of losers who want the challenge of playing you, just be really good at throwing out hints. Those of who are up front and principled want women who are up front and principled. Why would a guy with principles waste time on a woman who plays ``decode this?''

Yeah I know, you also visited mine where I state NOTHING and clearly say that am just here for the forum....so your argument, outside trying to b!tch or diminish is?

Enjoy your own medicine.

the bottom line is: instead of discarding people for not getting your hints, try to adapt your methods for something more direct; as most "serious" guys in 2009 do not play that game of hints; for various reasons.

well, unless you want to hunt in the pool where the majority of the players are...but do not cry after that you have been played!m

I guess sometimes you just have to let the little head lead the way ....

I don't personally "play games", but I have observed plenty. I'm not talking about witless bimbos 'throwing out hints' and engaging in mindless chatter. I'm not talking about women who say things that don't make sense. I'm talking about a social/human interaction skill set that sets up a possible romantic situation.

Unfortunately, all too often people who just plain don't HAVE this skill set, or are very inept at it, hide behind "upfront, direct and principled". This is not to disrespect these folk, not at all! But the truly direct and principled people who CAN'T do that sort of ebb and flow , prelude to romance interaction, don't attempt to disrespect those who CAN, by claiming they'll only attract "losers" and "get played".

Come one you guys ... we know when to call bull shiit ... so lets call it.

Seriously, if I have a partner and he doesn't know my secret code, the one that says to him "Lets leave this party and get dirty" then what kind of relationship would I end up in.

the bottom line is: instead of discarding people for not getting your hints, try to adapt your methods for something more direct; as most "serious" guys in 2009 do not play that game of hints; for various reasons.

I think that's kind of the point some of the male posters were trying to make, though, Savona...that they're NOT just 'wanting a quick lay', they're actually trying to connect with someone who interests them both physically AND mentally.

I didn't really see any of the male posters saying they would NEVER approach a woman who had piqued their interest. Rather, (this is just my interpretation of some of the posts) they were saying that when they DO approach a woman who interests them, in a direct manner clearly showing they are interested in her, then they hope she has enough of a personality and brain to take that interest further. Rather than just standing there twiddling her hair and trying to look coy.

Similarly, I interpreted it as them saying, if SHE approaches HIM...he also doesn't want her to say "hi" and then stand there again twiddling her hair and trying to look coy, hoping he will take the lead from there. He might but, from the sounds of it to me, the guys are also hoping there's going to be something unique/intriguing enough about the woman, that will make him even want to do so.