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| | Decoding the Female LanguagePage 24 of 31 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31) | Completely agree with you.
There was a women who look interested in me after long time build up courage and talked to her, she disappeared for month and half showed up again looking at me smiling. I really don't know whether she was smiling at my stupidity or was encouraging me to talk to her again. Result my feelings for her are off and cold. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 8:53:43 AM |
don't any of you have anything else to do?
Yup. I'm gonna go out and flirt a bit, make innuendos, play with my hair, flutter my eyelashses, tease innocently and not so innocently, and be very direct as needed ... gonna do it all, and I bet I get lucky by tonite.  | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:02:03 AM |
Yup. I'm gonna go out and flirt a bit, make innuendos, play with my hair, flutter my eyelashses, tease innocently and not so innocently, and be very direct as needed ... gonna do it all, and I bet I get lucky by tonite
What a great idea! I think I'll wander off and do the same. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:07:14 AM | You mean this 24 pages was all about getting lucky? Dammit, and I thought I was communicating! I missed all the signals. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:59:26 AM |
Yup. I'm gonna go out and flirt a bit, make innuendos, play with my hair, flutter my eyelashses, tease innocently and not so innocently, and be very direct as needed ... gonna do it all, and I bet I get lucky by tonite.
Do you think that will work for the men too??
Run away run away!!! | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 11:06:00 AM | Funny how the title of this thread implies that this is about learning to understand women, yet the reality of the discussion is all about how women should be more like men.
Can you say 'bait and switch'? | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 11:39:20 AM |
Yup. I'm gonna go out and flirt a bit, make innuendos, play with my hair, flutter my eyelashses, tease innocently and not so innocently, and be very direct as needed ... gonna do it all, and I bet I get lucky by tonite. Do you think that will work for the men too??
If she gets lucky, I guess the answer would be yes. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 12:02:07 PM | Here is how it starts,
Some men are never happy and have to tell a woman that it is HER fault he is unhappy.
No.
This has become a thread of women defending their habits of being ambiguous and hiding behind obscurities. And they're being called out on it, by both men and women.
Start with the way you communicate. You better communicate the way I want you to
Communicate like an adult, or get treated like anything but an adult.
Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
I haven't the time, desire, or inclination to entertain any banal methods of communicating something that can be done very effectively with words, or clear actions, when I'm doing so myself.
If I were a woman saying that to men, I'd be able to charge for seminars on how to teach other women to be that assertive on what "arrested development" behaviour I wouldn't tolerate.
you are wrong and it is your fault that men and women can't get along because, well just because it is 2009 and I have read somewhere that things are different.
Really?
That's funny.
I can't tell you how many times I've read and heard women boast about how women are MUCH better at communicating their "feelings" than men are. That the "communication" centers of their brains have been scientifically proven to be larger and more developed....
The woman explains that her language isn't that hard
The real question should be, why is it that when something that's ostensibly worthwhile, at stake, that a woman would choose to express herself in such an unreliable language that's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay open to individual interpretation and ambiguity.
and that both people perhaps should be bi-lingual
Because it's best for both parties? Or is this a case of demanding acquiescence?
I can read, write, speak, and translate 3 languages.
I can read, write music (both treble clef and bass clef), and transpose from one key to another. Don't even get me started with computers...
And you want me to interpret YOUR dialect of charades?
The woman, now being independent, not like back before 2009 ... packs her bags and says screw you. The man cries huge tears that women have ruined the earth with their independence.
In your dreams.
I'd tell you to go pound sand into glass....
Some of the men on this thread are perfect examples of the biggest whiners on earth.
Stop projecting.
We're telling you to grow up....
I can see where that would piss you men off ... you wanting the women to put on the jock cups and we refuse to. Doesn't that really piss you off.
Stop projecting.
I've already told you I'd tell you to go pound sand, and move on to another woman.
Get over yourself.
That is why women are walking out on men like you in droves ...
Your still projecting.
Elvis has left the building, and you're still claiming that you're walking out on him...
The men are crying Boo Hoo we want women who pay the coffee, pay half or more of the bills, wear that little black dress, have long hair, be no maintenance, talk like men, sex like whores, be easy for FWB, be more selective for long term, not want a single penny of my money have your own, let me have my motorcycle, you watch the kids, be independent fix your own car, cook me dinner.
You're still projecting even more.
The message is being sent that men won't put up with the BS anymore. That's it's becoming more of a level playing field, and you're steadfast in trying to deny otherwise with your derisives of what "real men" are.
I'm not telling you, and women like you that your not a "real woman".
I'm just telling you I've had "better" than you, which is why I won't deal with any BS.
And I have no problems telling you or anyone else that.
Believe what you want, but I'm not whining, and hardly miserable. My social life is exactly what I want it to be, and my being outspoken about it actually makes me "lady" friends, and gets me dates.
Go figure...
There goes another woman out the door to file divorce.
And perhaps get her bubble burst that the landscape is vastly different than she imagined.
All women want are men to be real men.
Don't speak for all women.
And don't speak as if men live in a vacuum, and haven't a clue about women.
Sorry about your choices in men...
Some of us know exactly what women really want....
Just a perfect example of b1tchiness ... snarl hiss kittie cat fight ... little teen girlies.
That BS might have worked on your ex, but it doesn't here.
Welcome to the grown up world.
Funny how the title of this thread implies that this is about learning to understand women, yet the reality of the discussion is all about how women should be more like men.
When in plain english it's been told over and over and over and over and over and over...to simply express yourself verbally in an adult way that removes ALL doubt?
That's a complete strawman. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 12:36:12 PM |
That's a complete strawman.
so much clearer to understand who I'm responding to, now that I learned how to quote, isn't it? ;-)
Never heard the word strawman before I came to these fora and it seems to be your favorite word. I bet with all these scarecrows that you keep discovering, it gives you plenty of protection when people flip you a bird.
Oops, I guess that wasn't direct enough again. Sorry, being female I can only speak in code ;-) | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 1:48:15 PM | And so in disgust with not feeling like he is running the show he puts his hands on his waist, just above his skirt, stomps his foot down and says bla bla bla ...
What do the men on here care what women think anyway? Seems to me that all these great men posting here on this thread should have NO problem running out right now and getting the girl. Seems as if allot of men here have have answers as to why women are so messed up, knows why we are single. Woppps, some of them are single too. But that is of course by choice.
I rather like the strawman on The Wiz ... I have noticed however that he was the one in the end that really had the brains.
Oh I agree that some should grow up and act like adults. That would first mean that they can accept that others have different opinions. That is what happens as people mature, they accept others ideas and opinions and not take them so personally that it drives them to attack with claw like swipes. Hissss meowwwww
Just like little girls not playing well with their barbies ... everyone fighting over Ken ... When I was playing with my little girl friends as a child, there was always those few boys who wanted to play with the girls. Then be boss and tell them how to move the barbies, how to play school, then run home crying when the girls just shoved them out of the "girls only" club house.
There are allot of guys like that here on the forums too ... just too girly. On the scale of manly to gay men who fit closer to gay, being the girl friend's friend the manly is going to get most women's attention. You know it too our you would not be defending your position like it is heaven and earth. If you really believed in yourself you would not be bashing people for their differences. No one told you to grow up, but childish words come out at the most awkward time now don't they?
A manly man who can read a woman. A womanly woman who can understand a man. Personally I think this is a good combination. Does that make me childish?
don't get me wrong now
There are great qualities to A sexual men. They make good friends, they can be taken anywhere and they always fit in and act appropriately. But they only make good friends, nearly as good as a girl best friend. Well sometimes even "BETTER" than a girlfriend ... Very Bestist Friends BFF. You can tell them anything, share your secrets because you know for sure that female language is lost on them. They don't pose a thread to any men.
Those days of when women dreamed of men being like John. Then once Richard Simmons popped out of the closet it opened up a whole new world for girlie men. Not manly, not gay ... "Best Friends". Gilligan.
I have men friends like that too ... nice men they are. Gilligans. Not too successful with women as far as that wow goes, but perfect for when you are in between great boyfriends. They even like to shop some of them. Hurray for girlie men.
Those men aren't social misfits anymore, there are loads of them ... A sexual. Embrace it. Love it. Let women come to you. Let them be the leaders ... I actually agree with you. Let your girlfriends introduce you to their friends. Seems to be working out great so whats the problem? I don't have a problem with that. I think it is wonderful. Can't understand why one of your friends friends hasn't turned into something big. Maybe you are waiting on them to call you and ask you out. Or maybe they are talking dribble when they meet you ... or maybe they are keeping you out of their secret club because you don't know the secret password. That is in woman code, incase you were wondering.
What do women really want? Sexual attraction. Either by physical or intellectual and for most, both. What do you think attracts women? Take a guess.  | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 2:01:30 PM |
onmyown4 on 8/29/2009 4  15 PM Sexual attraction. Either by physical or intellectual and for most, both
That i can sure decode; let the brave and capable pursue.
I'll be over at 4
shh, its a surprise.
Bring just an overnight bag.
Nothing to risk but ego; can it handle rejection?
all to gain, if you dare. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 2:12:58 PM | Is it too late to report this thread to the mods as being in the wrong forum? Shouldn't "Decoding the Female Language" be in either the Sci-Fi or Speculative Fiction section?
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 2:43:56 PM |
I love sci-fi so many manly men on those movie
And the CHICKS! Barbarella ... the Ape Chick from Planet of the Apes ... Raquel Welch in 1,000,000 years BC. Rae-Dawn Chong in Quest for Fire. Just for a few.
OT - I'm working on it. I'll let you all know when I have all the answers. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 5:07:18 PM |
Speculative Fiction section
No lie, Mr. DBB!!
Personally, I find you extremely argumentative (yeh, I've been around a while) and doubt you are really looking for real comprehension, but rather an opening to further argue a personal agenda.
I don't much care how you find me. I have real comprehension, and I comprehend that ON THIS THREAD,in my opinion, some female posters are being subjected to a double standard, by some male posters, ON THIS THREAD.
Let's not employ the faulty, bully-like tactic of dragging in previous supposed failings and prior arguments that are not pertininent to the subject now under discussion. I will grant that I did make some comments about the pervasiveness/persistence of this double standard, in general,that I probably could have kept to myself. I believe I could safely presume, Mr. Levi, that you are not a woman and that you don't date men. So you will never be able to actually experience it.
If my pointing it(this damn double bind thing)out when I perceive it happening in a forum thread,helps even one man,to think a little more carefully before he sits in judgement on a woman, I don't really GIVE a goldplated rats' rear end if someone finds me extremely argumentative.
I speak for myself, not for others. I may agree with them or they might agree with me. So, my point stands alone as my opinion. I will not be baited into speaking for others. Thank you very much. But you accused someone of calling you( and other men) liars, when she did NOT...in my opinion what she called was "cowardice", not "lying".
If you find "double standards" offensive, you should be appalled at the double standard placed on men these days. If you read my post closely, you would see that I stated that I didn't care which gender made the first proclamation of interest. I would add: What traditionally female role have men not stepped into, nowadays? Conversely, why are there still traditionally male roles that women have refused to step into, nowadays? That's a double standard! Yep, that's a generalization, but I hope you get the point.
Actually, I always find double standards, inequities, inconsistencies and unfairness offensive,regardless of who is being subjected to it. But since I am not now, never have been and never will be a man, I can only speak with authenticity about the double standards placed on women. I do not dispute your statement. However, I'll admit that I should have left out the generalizing and stuck strictly to the double standard that had surfaced in this thread, that a man could accuse women of a pathological fear of rejection,with impunity, but when a woman leveled the same charge, she's told her post is offensive, and accused of calling certain men "liars." She didn't call them liars, she called them afraid of rejection, just as a male poster had posited women to be. But I didn't hear anybody getting all bent out of shape and telling THAT poster his posts were "offensive'.
It's funny, because I actually do most of the things that men are complaining that women don't do...but, I find myself arguing all the time, because of this very thing.
It doesn't matter what you do or don't do...a segment of the male population will berate you for it...because they aren't on the same page either.
But, most puzzling to me, is the millions of threads started by men exhorting women to be/do/act one way or another, and getting quite vehement about it, and not allowing the answer...I'm a woman, and that's just how I am, and yet, the few that women may start about some male behavior they don't like ( and it's usually because they are hurt)...the general response is: that is how men are...deal with it? We never do anything wrong...it is always you silly/stupid/entitled women...sigh...
Again, it's a form of double standard. My suggestion to you would be to stop running your social/dating/romantic life by someone else's complaints, and do what you feel to be right/feel to be best according to your own experiences,standards and ethics If you keep trying to reinvent yourself all you will get is CONFUSED.
Msg 585...was that really necessary? Are you aware that a posting limitation can be placed on the number of posts you make to a thread?
Of course not; why imply that I meant as you say? I haven’t seen anyone say this. Splendere, that was not directed to you specifically, or in totality, but was based on comments made by SEVERAL posters.
You do not know how every player plays his game.
I see that you write extremely long detailed posts on almost any subject and thread but this does not make your opinions the end all.
Of course it doesn't, but let me clear up a couple of things...did you see the reference to the "number of posts(one) can make to this thread" limitation that site management/moderators MAY invoke? Given that I may be away from the forums for a few days, I sometimes do use a Notepad to compose a comprehensive single post to "catch up". I'm sorry my attempt to direct a kind comment,to actually state a thing I have SEEN regarding those poor persons who are good hearted but tend to fall back into the "totally lame" category when trying to connect with a member of their opposite gender, was taken as some kind of "end all".
I believe the poster you accused of “double standards” was attempting to clarify why she has been perceived negatively. First, my OBSERVATION was not directed to a female poster. It was directed to the totality of the thread as something I personally considered to be an unfair double standard AGAINST a female poster.
It is a shame how we, people, let our pain strike out in anger. Yes, it is. I for one don't have much of either, I simply spoke out about something I thought was UNFAIR. That a male poster could accuse women of being "unable to handle rejection",and nobody bats an eye but when a female poster said essentially the same thing,albeit in not the exact same words, charges of "offensive" and "accusing us(men) of lying" get leveled
at her. What about that needs decoded?
Another happy outcome is we spend more time talking about issues/subjects/content rather than spiraling endlessly over "what I meant when I said xyz is ..."
Precisely. But I think we have to make allowances for those who are still dealing with the aftermath of a HORRENDOUS communication breakdown, a marriage/LTR that couldn't sustain.
Funny how the title of this thread implies that this is about learning to understand women, yet the reality of the discussion is all about how women should be more like men.
Can you say 'bait and switch'? It would be my personal OPINION that this could be a fairly accurate assessment of the situation, and oddly enough, I think that this is EXACTLY what the OP was driving at. But that would only be an opinion.
It's a matter of finding where the water settles........and your options are limited presumably because of how you look.
But you are overlooking an important point. ANYBODY(of either gender) can choose to reject the entire concept of couplehood if they don't like where the water settles, and the OPTION to be predominantly single can always be exercised. And believe it or not, there ARE men who value character and personality above the hot looks. And yeah, they may not be Mr HotLookin' Stud, but when it comes to building a life partnership or even a less structured LTR or genuine FwB, "handsome/beautiful is as handsome/beautiful does". This is NOT to say that an extremely attractive person of either gender is shallow,lacking personality, or of poor character. Nor does it mean every plain looking person is a saint or angel. There is a great deal to the old saying "Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone." And pure ugliness can sure hide under a beautiful skin.
Shut up and let me twirl your hair DBB, I want to send a message to Margo....
DAYUM!! I'm gonna sell tickets to THIS show! Does everybody understand that twirling any hair OTHER than hair on the head, will send the WRONG message?
Cindy O | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/29/2009 5:23:42 PM | I believe I am decoding a message. What's that? oh yeah. got it.
Odd you'd be asking that GS, the hairless one is cookin' up a storm in the kitchen as I type.
ssshh! about the construction workers or he'll start another woe-is-me pity thread and I'll have to decode him again.
(Much to my sweetie's amusement, I totally forgot the windows guy was coming this morning... but I've made up for it by telling him no less than *three times* the siding crew is coming tomorrow).
The moral of the story is when you are willing to get along, you mostly do. Even when people mess up there is a choice to be ok with it or turn it into a big deal. We laugh about the odd miscommunication... but we've found life funny from the get-go and don't make a habit of it.. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 9/2/2009 3:10:49 PM | :
I guess sometimes you just have to let the little head lead the way ....
"I think that's kind of the point some of the male posters were trying to make, though, Savona...that they're NOT just 'wanting a quick lay', they're actually trying to connect with someone who interests them both physically AND mentally.
I didn't really see any of the male posters saying they would NEVER approach a woman who had piqued their interest. Rather, (this is just my interpretation of some of the posts) they were saying that when they DO approach a woman who interests them, in a direct manner clearly showing they are interested in her, then they hope she has enough of a personality and brain to take that interest further. Rather than just standing there twiddling her hair and trying to look coy.
Similarly, I interpreted it as them saying, if SHE approaches HIM...he also doesn't want her to say "hi" and then stand there again twiddling her hair and trying to look coy, hoping he will take the lead from there. He might but, from the sounds of it to me, the guys are also hoping there's going to be something unique/intriguing enough about the woman, that will make him even want to do so.
I do agree though that if you're interested in someone and getting to know them, that flirting is fun, playful, when done in a manner that clearly shows interest in the person you're engaging in this ritual. It doesn't have to be "hi baby, wanna come back to my place and see my etchings", but it should also be more than...hair twiddling, lol.
Some people, as others have said, are just natural flirts or touchy-feely. Nothing wrong with that necessarily, but , it can make it hard to determine if they're truly interested, or just playing/joking around. Hence, being more direct can clear the air, and leave out unnecessary game-playing, and also make the lady (or man) stand out from the crowd of 'natural flirts' who don't have any serious intent.
A simple "You know, I really like you and would like to get to know you better" can often work wonders as well. "
THANK you...(phew) | |
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Fl_09
| | Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 594 | |
| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 9/2/2009 5:17:54 PM | | they do this to tease,, what it comes down to is women think that sex is bad and they hate it..... this is why europeans love sex and view it as a good thing to do , while in america its viewed as a bad thing to do | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 9/2/2009 5:45:43 PM | | Men are crazy and women are insane. Forget about decoding their language. You'll never get anywhere close to mastering it. If Freud couldn't do it, you certainly won't. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 9/2/2009 5:52:15 PM |
what it comes down to is women think that sex is bad and they hate it....
What!?!
News to us. We had no idea that we hated sex. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 9/2/2009 6:10:13 PM |
What!?!
News to us. We had no idea that we hated sex.
Neither did I....lol..in fact, I thought it was the complete opposite myself...
He must be hanging around the wrong women...or, ones with poor communicating skills...(lol)..undecipherable code ya know? | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 9/2/2009 6:14:38 PM | Good God - what? We hate sex?
Have we been saying that when we were glossing our lips?
Has anyone told Helen Keller yet?
All that moaning and finger movement....
I must have misunderstood the messages all along the way....thank God some brilliant man decoded our own language and told us we hate sex. Now we don't have to keep trying to have it all the time!
Jeesh - now what will I do with all that time I had penciled in for sex? | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 9/2/2009 6:19:55 PM |
what it comes down to is women think that sex is bad and they hate it....
What!?!
News to us. We had no idea that we hated sex.
I never got that memo, either.
He must be hanging around the wrong women...or, ones with poor communicating skills...(lol)..undecipherable code ya know? Or maybe HIS skills are the issue?
Cindy O | |
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