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p~s
| | Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 201 | |
| | Decoding the Female LanguagePage 9 of 31 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31) |
Sooo you want the woman to be more aggressive do you? Not gonna happen.... why you ask??? WOMEN CAN'T HANDLE REJECTION that's why.
I completely disagree. The reason woman are not more aggressive is because we don't have to be. If you don't get it that we like you and we are discouraged then we still have five other guys wanting to take us out so we move on thinking O-well, I really liked him but he doesn't feel the same.
You boys better start waking up and smelling the coffee, how many wonderful potentials have You lost just because YOU wouldn't just say 'hey I really like you, where do you see this going?'
Let's be honest, us women really do have the power, Rarrrrrrrrrrrr!  Just teasing ;) | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:15:30 PM |
I have to wonder, how many women miss out on meeting great guys because they "expected them" to "pick up" on their subtle "female language" hints that they were interested??
OP -- The answer to that is: More than you'd ever realize, and FAR more than would ever EVER admit to.
This crap ass, garbage game of "hints" and "female language" and "subtle clues" doesn't wash with me, and has no place in my world. I've had some females get right hostile with me because I "couldn't see the signs". When in actuality, I saw them just fine but these kinds of games are ones I'd rather not play. If a chick likes me, she should bloody well say so and leave the childish Grade 3 schoolyard type games for her girlfriends.
Kinda reminds me of the encounter I had just this past weekend. A friend of a friend came to the bar and was making words about how I "missed" her last time she was out, and this is why she left 'cause she got tired of me being so dense. Then most of the last part of the night chided me for not "getting the big picture" that she wanted some attention from me, and was dropping "hints" with a bomber.
I got the hints. I got them last time too. I just don't like games.
And of my friends, I've seen a lot of them (females) whining that their new man is so "clueless" because he wasn't picking up on their "hints" and "obvious interest". Hmm...last time I checked, "obvious" meant DIRECT. Not involving any guesswork or code breaking.
So the answer I gave seems to be the most fitting despite objections to the contrary.
The game players will defend them to the death though. No small surprise there.
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:39:47 PM |
I haven't got that kind of time or patience either, for science projects. I've got dating ADD.
Ditto.
I'm sorry to hear that...it's pretty bad when you don't have the time or patience to "FLIRT" with someone....
Some men feel their time is valuable enough to not want to waste it playing some head game that is stacked in favor of the woman playing it. I have zero interest in spending a lot of time talking about nothing while trying to decipher some sort of coy b.s. from a woman who finds that sort of thing to be a high point in her life. But, have at it. There are plenty of guys who have that sort of game down and who like the challenge. I've discovered that there are intelligent women on the internet who go after what they want to the same extent I do and that I don't have to pretend to be interested in a vacuous conversation just to have the privilige of getting to decode some nebulous body language.
I happen to like flirting and the men who are smart enough to know I'm flirting....so if you will excuse me, I think I will go pat myself on the back for awhile
Those of us who are smarter than those men have difficulty understanding that women really fall for that crap. I know I would cringe when trying to pretend I'm interested talking a lot about nothing with a woman and I'd probably cringe more if she fell for it.
That's why people need to be very careful who they chose to have a relationship with, If the guy can't tell that you are obviously flirting with him, or if he has no time or patience for this...do you REALLY want a relationship with this type of guy...
Needless to say, the best way to do that is to be straight forward and direct rather than play silly head games.I certainly don't want a relationship with a woman who considers wasting her time with silly body language to get my attention (which is quite uncertain) if I waste my time trying to decode it. I'd rather deal with women who are direct.
sounds kinda clueless and impatient to me.....not fun at all.
I'm only impatient with things that should not require patience but for someone else's idea that making something more difficult than necessary is somehow fun. I'm clueless to the extent that it serves me well because I do not end up with women who like that sort of thing. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:41:24 PM | What a pile of nonsense. I mean, sure, in labs we've seen women who can co-operate to work together to move around some boxes so as to reach up to grab a bunch of suspended bananas. Of course, they have the ability to communicate with each other on a very basic level, and with years of training, the odd one might build up a limited vocabulary of commands from a male.
But a language?
Too cute.
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:49:43 PM | To use a reverse point of view:
Guys can be sharks, mackerels or a lighthouse.
Want to swim? go ahead.
But the day you are fed up to be bitten or to stink of fish, you know what you have to do; but the tides might be against you or the door might be closed the moment you realize that.
Personally, I hate fish all together, so why should I be one? | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:56:19 PM | ok well gentleman - I do adore almost all of you so having read all of this I have a couple questions as a female.
Kinda reminds me of the encounter I had just this past weekend. A friend of a friend came to the bar and was making words about how I "missed" her last time she was out, and this is why she left 'cause she got tired of me being so dense. Then most of the last part of the night chided me for not "getting the big picture" that she wanted some attention from me, and was dropping "hints" with a bomber.
I got the hints. I got them last time too. I just don't like games.
Was it that you didn't like her "hints" and "games" or was it that you weren't into her? And the hints and games made you less so?
After a disastrous dating escapade with really crummy sex, I'm really about to have a hissy fit of wanting to spend some "quality" time with a real, adult, grown up man, who knows what's what and isn't afraid to do it.
That being said - I don't want to play any games. I don't want to toy with hints. I want to divide and conquer with a blazing amount of speed and pleasure.
How is it that all of you feel I should approach that notion?
Let's simply say for the sake of creating a setting - that I've sleuthed out the "individual" and know what I want.
What is it that I'm supposed to DO exactly to convey that to him?
He isn't currently working.
He's not a social person, so he avoids bars, or going out.
He's pretty much a recluse, yet he's one I know well.
He doesn't do computers, and doesn't have a cell phone, so I guess I'd say he's not into technology.
What female language would I use to get my "interest" across to this guy? And what's the best shot at having it succeed? | |
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p~s
| | Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 207 | |
| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:57:55 PM |
What a pile of nonsense. I mean, sure, in labs we've seen women who can co-operate to work together to move around some boxes so as to reach up to grab a bunch of suspended bananas. Of course, they have the ability to communicate with each other on a very basic level, and with years of training, the odd one might build up a limited vocabulary of commands from a male.
But a language?
So really you think men are better and so you are now stepping out of the closet? Awwww, how cute ;) | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:01:08 PM | p~s - You should know better than to question an opportunist on his motives.
Look, everybody, look! I think she's trying to communicate with us! No, really! (Some day my radical ideas will be seen as genius, Pinky! Pure GENIUS!) | |
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p~s
| | Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 209 | |
| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:10:55 PM |
Look, everybody, look! I think she's trying to communicate with us! No, really!
Could you look at my tongue? I think it's swollen up from the incredible strain of trying to form speech as you know it; I'm more accustomed to grunts and gestures, | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:15:36 PM | [qutoe]Could you look at my tongue? I think it's swollen up from the incredible strain of trying to form speech as you know it; I'm more accustomed to grunts and gestures,
Why p~s d'resistence - what a lovely tongue! Allow me to look more closely. Say ahhhhhh. Don't worry - this is Dr. Moose's special Uber Tongue Depressor.
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:28:03 PM |
And wondering.
Rent- it should go without saying that when someone has been an azz and knew it? That they acknowledge it. Don't know why I was expecting that you would man up to it and feign ignorance but now that we all know - I'm sure we won't have such high expectations of you in the future.
Talk about a pot calling a kettle black.....You my friend are the only one who is being an A$$. It was an honest mistake and I apologized for it. If you have a hard time accepting that then YOU have a LOT of issues, more so than that guy in the trust thread.
I haven't been posting in these threads long but one thing I have learned: You fight just for the sake of fighting and I won't stoop to your juvenile level.
Grow up and act your age, NOT your shoe size...... | |
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p~s
| | Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 212 | |
| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:06:21 PM |
Why p~s d'resistence - what a lovely tongue! Allow me to look more closely. Say ahhhhhh. Don't worry - this is Dr. Moose's special Uber Tongue Depressor
Oh, but i'm not just d'resistence, I'm Pièce de résistance. | |
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~Music
| | Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 213 | |
| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:07:39 PM | This makes me think of a possible solution. Makes life simpler for those that don't like the dance. We could resort back to the old notes that we used to pass back and forth in elementary school.
I LIKE YOU. DO YOU LIKE ME? CHECK YES ___ OR NO ____
Game Over. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:37:06 PM | Jinx has it right as to the communication breakdown: "last time I checked, "obvious" meant DIRECT". Tannen and John Grey (Mars/Venus books) have their flaws, but it boils down to this basic communication style difference:
MEN: Direct, literal
WOMEN: Indirect, figurative
Of course these are broad generalizations, but that's what we're talking about here. The "meteor shower" post is a perfect example. To the woman, watching the metors under the stars is an indirect, figurative suggestion of romance. To they guy, it's... well, watching the meteors, only of interest if he's into astronomy.
A more personal example. Recently, I was with a female coworker at work when a regular female customer came by. After the customer left, my coworker mentioned that the customer had been talking about taking her kid to his dad's. To my guy ears, perhaps my coworker was thinking about logistics of child care, or just sharing life's trials and tribulations with another female. After a few seconds, though, the light bulb went on... "Is that a hint?" I said. My coworker was suggesting I ask the customer out!
Let's see: "She's taking kid to dad's" => she is divorced => she is likely single => you should ask her out! Big jump for a guy, for whom "She's taking kid to dad's" means that, and no more. But I'm getting better at this, really!
For more hilarious commentary on "How to speak women", google "The Book of Pook". Generalizations, yes, but lots of truth to it. | |
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x_file
| | Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 215 | |
| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:37:53 PM |
I LIKE YOU. DO YOU LIKE ME? CHECK YES ___ OR NO ____
Some women would probably check both boxes, or will ask you to add the "MAY BE" box.
When you ask them why did they check both boxes when it says "Check Yes or No", the smart ones (or I should say the ones that think are smart) will reply with "It didn't explicitly say it's an 'exclusive or' question".
The not so smart ones will probably reply with something like, "I like his eyes, but not his hair. So I kind of like him, and I kind of don't".
Most guys will probably check the YES box if she is pretty enough.
It's a good suggestion. But when dumb and dumber are answering the question, it's too hard for them. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:53:38 PM | A few times in my life, I have shown my interest is various members of the male species while at local gathering places frequented by thirsty people of legal age ( bars). It is quite a complex process, but I will share it with you now.
First, I looked at my prey (errr...man).
Second, I let him catch me looking.
Third--pay attention, now this is the realllly crazy part---I smiled. Yep. Smiled right at him. What a risky move, eh? Most of the time, the guy would come over, prepared to charm and be charmed.
Now, once or twice this has failed to bring about the desired results, so in those cases I WALKED, just using my legs and feet, y'all, over to his general direction, and as I passed by I would say....wait for it...."Hi , there." I know it's pretty brilliant. I thought of it all by myself. I would keep walking, though, even if he said hello back. On the return trip, I would pass him again, and by then, he would have been pretty sure of my "hints" and would strike up a conversation.
In a bar situation, this has never failed me. Ever.
If you actually know the person and want to ask him out, or get him to ask you out, that calls for different moves, but for meeting people in clubs, it is simply not that complicated. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:54:45 PM | Wow, a lot of you guys are really peturbed about this. We women (at least in my age bracket) were taught that girls don't call boys. I personally never really went for that rule, but many of the women I know had it drilled into them and just won't.
If I am playing with my hair, I am nervous, or bored, or possibly in pain, not hinting. If I put on lipstick, my lips are dry. I usually strike up a converstion with someone I am interested in. As far as direct communication with someone I barely know such as you suggest:
Just be very direct, yet innocent and the same time. Tell him in a cheerful way, "I like you, you are a nice guy!" or, "You are handsome"
I might say, "You SEEM like a nice guy." Really though, I figure if you can't tell I am interested by the fact that I struck up the conversation or by the animated way I am talking to you, you are either really dense or simply not interested enough to notice.
Now, my turn! Why can't guys just communicate their interest level? What exactly does a grunt mean? I have gone on dates where we had a great time, it seemed chemistry was flowing and then nothing. Are we women supposed to chase you or what? Yes I called, yes I said I had a great time, yes I enthusiasticly returned the kiss on the second date. In fact, there would not have been a second date in the above example had I not questioned by email. He seemed interested, I asked directly, and he said I read it right, he had been busy, I am clueless, why can't he just say something? Like, "I discovered I am not ready for a relationship right now, " (I have said that myself) or not as interested as I initially was or something? Why leave us ladies to try to figure it out? I never was good at guessing games. Usually, I just figure he ain't all that into me and let it go.
My point? I don't think this is gender specific. Most of us humans don't like rejection. Communication is always the answer, many don't communicate. We all just muddle around. And in muddling, well, we are still here on this site with single on our profile. | |
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p~s
| | Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 218 | |
| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:59:02 PM |
The not so smart ones will probably reply with something like, "I like his eyes, but not his hair. So I kind of like him, and I kind of don't".
Most guys will probably check the YES box if she is pretty enough.
It's a good suggestion. But when dumb and dumber are answering the question, it's too hard for them
So who's dumb and dumber here? | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:13:01 PM | Ya know, the last couple years I've been making a concentrated effort to learn the subtle signs women give-off when they're interested in a guy. Thought I had it down pat and took it on the road, so to speak.
I've had about a half dozen women exhibiting all the proverbial signs: twirling the hair; lingering eye contact; batting lashes; giggling sounds; touchy-feely; the occasional blush; forward-facing; giving me their business card; asking my advice, etc...
Only to find out they have a BF or husband!!! After I suggested further contact. Guess they were just looking for an ego stroke. Maybe they were looking for something on the side, but Homey don't play that game! I don't need, or want, the potential drama in my life!
This is one of the reasons I (perhaps other men as well) don't rely on the "Female Language" as a cut-and-dry sign of a potential interest. Sometimes they lie!
just something for those females that think their signs are enough, to think about
EDIT: For the poster below: You're rather argumentative. | |
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p~s
| | Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 220 | |
| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:32:41 PM |
This is one of the reasons I (perhaps other men as well) don't rely on the "Female Language" as a cut-and-dry sign of a potential interest. Sometimes they lie!
What!!??? Women lie too? I'm just so gullible, here i thought it was just men !
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:35:57 PM | Now, once or twice this has failed to bring about the desired results, so in those cases I WALKED, just using my legs and feet, y'all, over to his general direction, and as I passed by I would say....wait for it...."Hi , there." I know it's pretty brilliant. I thought of it all by myself. I would keep walking, though, even if he said hello back. On the return trip, I would pass him again, and by then, he would have been pretty sure of my "hints" and would strike up a conversation.
In a bar situation, this has never failed me. Ever.
Hey! I remember you now!
Man, you looked sooooo gooood that night. Never seen slutty look so classy! Va voom!
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:39:06 PM | Now, once or twice this has failed to bring about the desired results, so in those cases I WALKED, just using my legs and feet, y'all, over to his general direction, and as I passed by I would say....wait for it...."Hi , there." I know it's pretty brilliant. I thought of it all by myself. I would keep walking, though, even if he said hello back. On the return trip, I would pass him again, and by then, he would have been pretty sure of my "hints" and would strike up a conversation.
In a bar situation, this has never failed me. Ever
They tote you where the waitress or asked the direction to the toilet?
I don't know, when I used to go to bars, I voluntarily ignored all women hanging there, for various reasons; few are that I can't stand alcohol induced courage or selection. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/18/2009 12:04:31 AM | When I put on lipstick it means I need to refresh it....when I flip my hair it means I have a snarl in it...If I say something and it doesn't make sense to him then he is either dumb or dumber!!!! Joking. Please....a real man will know if I am interested or not and I don't have to be touchy feely, lean forward or tell him hes as hot as an greek god!!!! Although if he is as hot as a greek god I may may do all of the above!!!!! Joking or not!
I had a date from hell a few months back....I gave no eye contact, no flirting, no touching, no games, and I even tried to pay for my dinner, but he just didn't get it, even after I said I didn't feel a connection on my end he still tried to kiss me so.....hello It might not always be us women to blame!
awwww man....I think I've been a fool....this guy asked me out the other day and I had to decline....he was so sweet, wise, tall, dark and had no teeth, looked and smelled like he hadn't bathed in a year...could he have been the one for me but I missed out? I wonder if he's still picking up cans on main street? Joking, and sorry to whom evers father that was on this site!!!!!!!!! Joking.
OK OK.....the sad truth.....I am sure I've missed out on nice guys because I didn't feel they were interested and vise versa and perhaps we look at the wrong ones missing out on the right ones because of our messed up perceptions of what we think we want or what we think we see as in ones character? If you don't make an attempt and give people chances, then you will never know what you've missed out on. And, please be honest and respectfull...to your self and others. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/18/2009 12:40:46 AM | So simple::
Female Language
Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".
Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!
Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you, do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly. | |
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| Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/18/2009 1:03:00 AM | ok, I really tried to refrane from posting anymore reply's to verityone's comment's to me...BUT I JUST COULDN'T HELP MYSELF....but it will be the last time, so here it goes. :-) First of all, I don't do drama well, I really like reading the Forums, I like listening to other people's point of view, I like learning things I didn't know before (especially on the "sex and dating forum" he he... and I like to hear people debating issues....but sometimes people get really p*ssed off and then the personal insults start coming out and then it's like not fun anymore. I refuse to sit up and keep arguing with ANYONE.....it's pointless.. I see a lot of men bashing women and vice versa. I know both sexes get frustrated with the other... it's because men and women really ARE different....And just for the record, I happen to love men, I don't always understand your way of thinking......yes, I think y'all can be jerks at times...yes, I DO want you to just listen and let me vent sometimes and tell me it will be alright. I do want to be your equal, but not in every way...I'll admit I'm not nearly as strong as you....and to tell you the truth I don't want to be, I enjoy looking at your sexy muscular arms when your doing stuff around the house. I could probably figure out how to put those IKEA shelves together even though I'm not very mechanically inclined, but would be so happy if you would do it for me...I would return the favor by making your favorite meal, or ironing and yes, even lightly starching your collared work shirts. Ok, OK.....I'm getting long winded, but youget the point I'm sure. So here goes the replys:
I guess our definitions of having "fun" are quite different. You do realize that you can flirt with someone you've already clearly established an interest in, and that it's a whole lot more fun, right? ummm.....yes I do realize that, but what does that have do to with what we are talking about? It's commensurate to the level of comment I was responding to. It's called sarcasm. I bet you're NO fun.... LOL.....I'm sorry, all I could do when I read this lame come back was ummm... laugh really hard...you start out trying to say something clever, then you ended it with "I bet your NO fun....." I was expecting a "nana nana boo boo" with a picture like this by it lol You'd rather forgo an opportunity in order to avoid a potentially suffering embarrasment, or a blow to your ego. I get it... That's a man's job. See? I do get it.... No, I'm not going to forgo anything.....maybe if I draw you a picture you will "get it" or give another example: I'm at work....a guy comes up to me and is oh.. say, asking me how his mom is (my patient) as I'm telling him this....I'm thinking to myself, hmm..he's really cute, hmmm I wonder if he's married, nope, or at least there's no ring on his hand....after I tell him about his mom, we will strike up a conversation and feel each other out....it could end with something like yea....a bunch of us get together on Thursdays and go "insert name of place" ...you should come sometime. At what time during that conversation am I going to say..."hey, I like you" or hey...."you are so f*cking hot....I want to git with you"...lol ok, I know as you said, I'm being silly with that one but it's just funny to me. And as far as my Ego??....PLEASE, my Ego is zilch compared to a vast majority of the men on here that have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, I honestly think some of them think they are God's gift to women...if they only knew....lol Believe me, telling a guy that you like him, is NOT a turn off. And nobody is suggesting that you need to go over the top. Hey, we agree on something!!!! I have no problem telling a guy I like him....at the appropriate time. I assure you, the fastest way to turn me off, is to bore me with your ambivalence, and I don't care how "hot" you think you are. There's always another one just as "hot" as you are, who won't hesitate to communicate directly, like an adult.
First of all, I could care less who OR what you get turned off by, second, why on Earth would you make this remark "and I don't care how "hot" you think you are." WTF?? Look Dude, you don't even know me.....you have NO IDEA weather I think I'm hot or not.. Regardless of what I think of myself...I am not one of these type of women going around thinking I'm better or hotter than anyone....I'm genuine, friendly and open. You were way out of line with that comment. You also sound like you might have alot of built up anger in you.....maybe dumped one too many times? Maybe the "hot" girls your trying to go after are not giving you the time of day? I sense quite a bit of hostility in you.....perhaps it's time to see a Dr.
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