| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/19/2009 11:21:38 PM | Please, people! On-topic!
I know I come over as very schoolma'am-ish
So let me prove it!
Please remember that:
a) we all see entertainment in different ways. Some like to debate with chat and jokes, some like deep debates, some dislike other poster's composing styles, some (IMO) get too personal over typos and poor written English without knowing anything about any difficulties the poster concerned may have with writing. Why not accept people as they are - which is what this topic is about - and either judge them or not on their character as shown in the forums? If you don't like them, do as you would do in real life - walk away! If you don't like the way the thread is going, as long as the rules are being followed, walk away. The PoF rules forbid personal attacks on posters - whether by naming-and-shaming or by casting general aspersions. Debate the posts, not the poster.
b) this is not a place for chat. If you want to chat, I am afraid that PoF rules require you to go elsewhere on the 'net.
c) I am not privy to personal mails between other posters, but if "you" are breaking PoF rules for the forums, then you should expect to get reported, deleted or otherwise chastised.
The nature and rules of these PoF forums do in some way restrict the amount of one's character that can be displayed for others to make a judgement call - but for me, those rules are what make this a safe place to debate - does that make my character cowardly and timorous?
Probably. | |
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:39:37 AM |
For the veteran "Chatters" - keep your opinions about the poster to yourselves and discuss the subject matter - or haven't the following sank in yet?
Replying To A Thread Subject or Post
Please ensure that all your replies are to the topic and nothing else. If your reply isn't related to the actual topic, then it's considered off topic or simply chatting, and will be removed. Replying to another post other than the original post is obviously permitted as long as what you are replying to, is also to the topic. As soon as you start replying to off topic comments, the thread is in jeopardy of being hijacked or derailed - leave off topic replies alone or the thread, if unsalvageable, will be deleted.
Remember that as soon as you utter any personalized characterizations about a poster, addressing them by name, making a direct character judgement, or an indirect generalized character judgement that is meant to include them for the purpose of belittling or insulting them, you have just turned your reply to a personal one and is subject to deletion and your posting rights suspended or removed permanently depending on severity. The full list of infractions can be found in the Acceptable Use & Posting Rules
For those of you who are not aware of the rules and the consequences of not following them, read the following:
Posting Guidelines
Acceptable Use and Posting Rules
Continue With the Thread Subject Only
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Keep This Thread On Topic or It Will Be Closed along with the thread jackers!
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:31:59 AM | I think the forums can give you a good insight into someones personality, or moreso their opinions. I suppose it would be easy to invent yourself so to speak, but over a period of time the true character will come to the fore.
To be honest , I'm a bit of a tw*t in real life [I know its hard to believe isn't it ?] so I would say my forum posts are a fair representation of myself. | |
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/21/2009 4:40:35 AM | | i think you can tell so much from how people write and not just the words but how they come across, ive just read the other thread with the serenity prayer in and every person that has wrote on it, you can pick certain attributes to their character on it. Some good....... some scarey!!!!! | |
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/24/2009 1:36:34 AM | i can imagine what the cut-n-paste must-have-the-last-word forum-people are like in real life .... you know the ones ... the ones who dissect a post then put it into neat little boxes then adress everything said in said post which in turn is responded to and the process is then repeated until someone just gives up or dies of boredom ...
a date would be more like an interrogation .... | |
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/24/2009 1:43:42 AM |
i can imagine what the cut-n-paste must-have-the-last-word forum-people are like in real life ........a date would be more like an interrogation ....
I've had several meet-ups with such people, and it's been anything but an 'interogation'.
Quite the opposite, really! The conversation has flowed regardless of the subject matter, and it's always been an enjoyable experience. | |
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/24/2009 3:05:27 AM | I have to say, given my experience forum posting has little bearing on the person. Or rather, it does seem that people read what they will into a post, whether that is because the poster is not perhaps over concerned with 'making friends' via posting or the people themselves read it wrong.
It never ceases to amaze me that I am taken the way I am on the forums. I am also reliably informed that the person this refers to
i can imagine what the cut-n-paste must-have-the-last-word forum-people are like in real life Is actually quite personable in real life.
It isn't something which worries me at all since I have little intention of meeting 99.99% of the people who post. It does make me laugh though!!! | |
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/24/2009 4:52:46 AM | | ^ And me hah hah.... At the end of the day I listen to what people say rather than the way they present their posts or question other people. There are some very intelligent people posting on here but they let themselves down with obvious racial or bigotted ideas that come over loud and clear no matter how clever they try to be. | |
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/24/2009 5:22:09 AM |
but they let themselves down with obvious bigotted ideas that come over loud and clear no matter how clever they try to be
Do you mean those who are intolerant of others opinions, but self-righteous where their own are concerned
What happened to 1) Accepting the differences and 2) The 'live and let live' philosophy | |
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/24/2009 5:40:53 AM | Well no, I refer to people who are blindly attached to their perception of certain groups of people, blindly being the operative word. People who hold preconcieved ideas about other people, races or groups of people and refuse to listen to reason.
People who in real life I would give a wide berth to to be honest. I'd say it is very easy to go on a date or attend a social meet without anyone guessing how arrogant and bigotted they are day to day. It's on here that people show their true colours IMO | |
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/24/2009 6:29:11 AM |
People who hold preconcieved ideas about other people, races or groups of people and refuse to listen to reason.
Isn't that a two-way street ?
I imagine those "Intelligent people" (as you referred to them earlier) have good reason for their views, just like those who have different views do. Providing all views are supported by valid reasoning/sources, then no one view is right, although society would like us to think otherwise
I would like to find people who do not consciously/subconsciously hold preconceived ideas about others. I know I do, and I am open to reasons from others providing they are open to my reasons too, but this is where the problem sometimes lies...
It's on here that people show their true colours IMO
I agree, and I see your point, but I think it is only too easy to disguise ones 'true colours' on here too, for example, one can debate for the sake of debating, play devils advocate, etc, etc... | |
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/24/2009 7:26:36 AM |
I imagine those "Intelligent people" (as you referred to them earlier) have good reason for their views, just like those who have different views do.
Well you see thats my point, people, intelligent or not dont always have good reason for forming those views. Take for instance a pensioner who was bigotted agasinst young people and thought that they were all bad just because they are young. Thats bigotry, should I excuse that on the basis that it is just an opposing view to mine?
Is it a two way street? Well am I a bigot because I do not go along with the hypothetical pensioners view? I dont think so.... it just shows I have a open mind and do not judge a group of people blindly. I may have good reason to uphold that some young people are trouble makers but I certainly do not think they all are.
I agree we all have consciously/subconsciously held preconceived ideas, but most people are open to persuasion unless of course they're bigotted.  | |
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/24/2009 7:38:21 AM |
1) How reliable are the forums for judging someone’s character?
This would be a highly unstable way of judging some people's character. It is also a highly stable way of judging some people's character. In some cases it is 50/50.
The reliability changes as much as the members do
2) Do you take someone's forum character as his/her true character?
No, unless I have met them and they are the same on here as in real life.
3) What are your experiences of judging another on here and then subsequently meeting them?
A myriad of experiences. For everyone that is as you expected others are different in every permutation you can think of. | |
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/24/2009 11:49:09 AM | MSG 58 I have no idea of who the poster was referring to, but you plainly do, and it supports my earlier comment about those who debate.
MSG 60
There are some very intelligent people posting on here but they let themselves down with obvious racial or bigotted ideas that come over loud and clear no matter how clever they try to be.
And how accurate is your assessment of thse people when you finally meet them? After all, the topic is concerned with the accuracy of our perception of posters.
MSG 62
I refer to people who are blindly attached to their perception of certain groups of people, blindly being the operative word. People who hold preconcieved ideas about other people, races or groups of people and refuse to listen to reason.
We are born without preconceptions - they arise as result of experience and education. Any negative preconceptions are largely the fault of the group in question.
People who in real life I would give a wide berth to to be honest.
Hmm....so you'd rather not meet such people in case your preconceptions about them are proven to be false? Or you'd rather not meet them in case your preconceptions about them are proven to be true?
Either way, can I just remind you what a 'bigot' is?
OED Bigot: A person who is prejudiced in their views and intolerant of the views of others.
It's on here that people show their true colours IMO
And how can you possibly know that?
MSG 64
it just shows I have a open mind and do not judge a group of people blindly.
And can you explain what is 'open-minded' about refusing to discover if your preconceptions (ie 'prejudice') are correct?
I agree we all have consciously/subconsciously held preconceived ideas, but most people are open to persuasion unless of course they're bigotted.
Like those people who refuse to be persuaded otherwise?
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/24/2009 1:19:16 PM |
1) How reliable are the forums for judging someone’s character?
IMO - They are not reliable at all.. There are no emotions in the written word.. Things can easily be misread and misinterpreted.. where as the spoken word can be heard WITH the emotions behind them..
2) Do you take someone's forum character as his/her true character?
I used to.. and thought some people were complete numpties.. some proved my thinking of them wrong when I met them at meets.. and some proved my thinking of them right..
3) What are your experiences of judging another on here and then subsequently meeting them?
As above.. I have judged people on reading what they post.. and thought some to be total idiots.. self opinionated and up their own arses.. Others I have thought are really nice and genuine.. and I have been proved wrong several times..
Of course you will always get a very small minority who love to cause a problem.. dont understand what the word debate means.. and have no respect for others opinions.. but these people I will probably never meet.. and I echo its a very small minority..  | |
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| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/24/2009 1:31:55 PM | The written word is a hard medium to convey what you mean as it is just random statements often made in retort to other singular statements and is hard to get the context of what is meant. It is also hard to get someones full point or views on a subject so a lot of what you think of a poster is a snap shot and is rarely inclusive of what their view is on any subject.
A lot of what we think about posters is based on assumptions on what they put and what we think imply from their posts rather than perhaps what they put, it is largely what our instincts tell us from posts, styles, how they react, consistency and profile and whether we feel that person has morals and honesty from that. | |
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