| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 8:39:11 AM | Women should go to jail for non payment just like men. It's no different.
My oldest son's father called me pissed cuz he has to spend weekends in jail until he finds a job and starts paying. (he's never paid in six years) This makes a lot of sense to me. Let him out during the week to find a damn job and lock him up on the weekends. He's mad, of course, and called to tell me that this is my fault cuz once I told him I was pregnant he TOLD me he didn't want to pay child support. My response to that? "Tough s#it! If you don't like spendind every weekend in jail, then get off your lazy ass and find a job." | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 8:59:15 AM | A deabeat is a deabeat - male or female. It can be interms of financial support or in my opinion emotional support as well. It's awful for any parent to walk away from his/her child.
My kids and I live in PA, which is supposed to be one of the "better" states at collecting child support. That makes me cringe. My ex owes over $69,ooo down from the $102,000 he owed before our last modificaiton hearhing. The officer convinced me to lower his arrears by $30,000. Pretty stupid on my part.
Anyway... the system stinks. We have been apart since '94. In the time since he has worked about 2.5 years consistently. (had a good job with NYC when we split, making about $65k a year) He was charged by the county and the federal system. Finally went to jail in 2007 for 6 months with the county, 3 in a federal 1/2 way house. The only time I've gotten consistent support in the past 6 years or so was while he was in jail in work release.
My kids are all over 18 now and no longer elligible. I will persue collecting the arrears. Any money from their dad goes to them. (student loans, college costs, things they need) I won't forgive the arrears because to me it sends the message that the kids are not worth the effort and the ex now has 2 more kids under 5 with his 2nd wife. (she had 2 boys from a previous relationship as well.) He could think this is ok and do it to the little ones as well.
There are noncustodial parents who do the right thing and stand by their kids in every way. Alot of them face jail immediately when they get behind because of a reduction in work hours or the like. Not sure why common sense cannot be applied. Cannot understand how anyone can walk away from their kids. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:08:31 AM |
Like I said in my post because this court order is based on a set of laws that assumes guilt and not innocence or an actual inability to pay.
If there is a court order and it is being disregarded, it's not hard to prove guilt of contempt. And given how the courts do bend over backwards in most states (in states where the ncp goes to jail right away for not paying, the ncp's pay their child support) to give the ncp chances to pay. Even if the ncp doesn't pay the full amount, any amount will be reasonable.
An inability to pay? Well, then the ncp needs to file for a modification. But if the inability to pay came from a voluntary action on the NCP's part, such as they quit the job or willingly took a lower paying job, the child support won't be lowered in all likelihood. And since it was a voluntary decision on the NCP's part, the inability to pay argument won't hold water.
The majority of NCP's pay their child support. It's the few that don't that made the laws more strict. And, to be honest, I agree with what they did. I also think that it should be applied just as strictly to the mother when she is the NCP and not paying the court ordered child support. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 10:29:43 AM | I was told by a judge even moms hold same obligations as dads. I was paying $120 a month when I made $7 an hour.
I give now $200 a month since I doubled that. It's still not a whole lot for him, but something I could afford. I have no problem helping my child. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 1:08:34 PM | I was told by a judge even moms hold same obligations as dads. I was paying $120 a month when I made $7 an hour.
I give now $200 a month since I doubled that. It's still not a whole lot for him, but something I could afford. I have no problem helping my child.
I think the women in this article made a lot more than minimum wage. If the custodial parent had a decent income but had a lot of personal expenses, debt, prior alimony and child support payments then that has to do with how much the non custodial parent has to pay. It doesn't seem to be easy to determine how much either of the parents earn without other current expenses. I had a friend in high school who had three kids before he was twenty one and didn't reside with his childs mom. She and the mom never pursued child support. Some parents get easier custodial parents to deal with. Albeit like some of the judges in these situations. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 1:41:49 PM |
Tough s#it! If you don't like spendind every weekend in jail, then get off your lazy ass and find a job."
What a system....
Try and find a job.... when you have a weekend stint at the jail every week... nothing like spending time in jail to limit your job prospects.... | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 1:54:52 PM | Funny you would mention that, this same nephew I speak of from my previous post is one of those people that are luckier than most.
Another issue that is creating a problem foir him with the wife is that he has two other children from two previous girlfriends. She is and has never been a big fan of his past but he in reality has horseshoes nestled in his arse when it comes to the issue of child support.
His first child's mother does not ask him for support and has never sought it in court. The second mother did but when it came to how the amount was settled in court he has lost the job because of the grief she had caused in his life for fooling around with an ex. The amount was rediculously low becuase he was unemployed at the time of the court date and the judge did (female ) not see a need to base it on his previous earning potential. He was working at the local toyota plant pulling 32 dollars an hour.
He currently earns almost 25 again but she does not feel the need to ask for more.
I do not think he will get off so easy with the third one though but a judge will have to into consideration his two previous situations.
I love my nephew but these are the types of men who need to be thrown in jail. The ones who feel the need to ignore proper usage of BC, no one can be that unlucky to have three unplanned births.
See the problem with the inequities as far as women not being held accountable is they are usually the prime care givers in unwed situations and are still given primary custody in the majority of divorces. So once a set routine is established they will never be on the paying end to the same degree as men.
They literally have to give up the kids or take off in order for men to get the kids in many cases.
Plus they are not held accountable for violating access arrangements for the very same reason, the care of the children. It doesn't take a top notch lawyer to keep a woman out of jail when the laws, judges and societal views view them as potential victims or their kids when it comes to maintaining a consistant environment. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 2:06:07 PM | There should be a simple solution to all this...
First, mandatory DNA testing at birth. If you don't know who the father is, or lie about who the father is, then you're an unfit mother. Call in Child protective services. You still get support for the child, but it is now a LOAN, payback to commence when kid or kids are no longer requiring support. Have another child while you owe, then you have to start repaying the support immediately. It's YOUR problem you chose to repeat the mistake.
Support should only be paid by biological parents unless the child is adopted or if the non-biological parent has lived with the family for 2 years or more.
If you accuse a man of being the father, and DNA evidence proves he isn't the father then the woman should be billed for the cost of the test and expenses incurred for the man.
If at birth, the child exhibits any signs of alcohol or drug abuse (ie a blood test on baby is positive) then automatically the father should have first option on custody (providing he too tests clean, doesn't have a serious criminal record etc...) Then the mother would become the support payor...
If NCP parent doesn't pay or can't pay or doesn't want to work.... then fine. He/She goes to work for the government... sweeping streets, landscaping government sites etc... Paid at minimum wage.... Child support to be deducted automatically and paid on time to custodial parent. This will cut back on other welfare expenses and reduce unemployment.
If NCP parent pays ALL support promptly and /or pays MORE than the required amount in support then they should be rewarded by an income tax deduction of a percentage of paid support... In other words, make it worthwhile to pay on time!
If NCP parent is paying support, then he/she gets guaranteed visits with the child unless it can be proven he/she is a threat to the child. At which point visits are supervised by child protective services. In other words, make it worthwhile to pay on time!
Non payment would not mean no visits but might mean less of them.
If possible the child should spend 50% of time with each parent. Then NO support is required from either. If time is not 50% then support should be rated as to the percentage of time spent with the NCP parent.... ie 25% is a 25% reduction in support payment. If it's only a day or 2 per month, then support should reflect that.
If the NCP person loses money, gets laid off or loses work then the support should automatically be reduced. If these things happened and the parents still lived together there would be a reduction in standard of living. It should follow that it happens even if the parents are separated...
This may seem harsh, but if it was put in place with clear guidlines, the cost savings in courts and legal fees would more than pay for it and even leave extra to perhaps improve the system. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 2:17:19 PM | Actually m-church the automatic reduction proposal is easier than you think.
In Ontario and other provinces I imagine if you are paying through the FRO, the payroll controller is sent the neccessary paperwork and is under legal obligation to make sure the payments are deducted or the company can face fines for not complying with a court order.
Why couldn't they just base the payments on a percentage basis of each check instead with a maximum set for oddities such as overtime or bonuses so that if an NCP has reduced hours he is actomatically adjusted without the neccesity of having a court order amended that could take months of time and possible time off work in order to get the changes made in court.
This would free up a lot of capital that could go to the real problem of hiring an agency to go after the real problem those that work under the table and purposely avoid payment. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 2:33:59 PM | Politic is perception.
I'm sceptic to see this as a sign of change from policy in Family Court. I see it as a manipulation of a political moment.
In the State of Georgia, as last month, a man was released from prison after spending more than a year behind bars for non payment of CS.
He was previously employed, lost his job, become indigent yet, liable for payments regardless the fact that -twice in nine yrs- DNA test showed he wasn't the biological father of the child, nor ever lived in the same house with the woman.
In the State of Ohio, where the jailed woman is from, it is been considered outrageous for a while, the situation when in this time of economical recession and lack of job oppportunities millions of men entitled to unemployment compensation are denied of those benefits.
Those unemployed men have their check withheld and deprived to support themselves because are readdressed toward CS payments to mothers who are actually working.
Millions of payors, are not the biological fathers of the children they support and are, at the same time, uncapable to support their own.
Edit below: Paternity fraud is legally accepted under what is known as the estoppel doctrine for US and/or loco parentis for Canada.
As July, 2009, the unemployment rate was set on 9.4%. Do you really believe there are 14.5 Americans who don't want to work or can make a living flipping burgers? | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 2:47:05 PM | Millions of payors, are not the biological fathers of the children they support and are, at the same time, uncapable to support their own.
Why are men being ordered to pay child support if DNA tests have proven they are not the father?
when in this time of economical recession and lack of job oppportunities
I work as a career counselor. There are jobs out there. Maybe not the jobs you want to do, but jobs that will pay the bills (including child support). My son's father, for instance, keeps insisting that it's the economy's fault he cannot find a job. It's his own fault he limits his own job search and cannot find a job.
Try and find a job.... when you have a weekend stint at the jail every week... nothing like spending time in jail to limit your job prospects....
Spending weekends in jail should not limit his job prospects. One should not be doing the bulk of their job search on the weekends. Wake up bright and early during the week and hit the pavement running. Prime job search time is weekday mornings. Who waits until Saturday or Sundays to job search. Oh yea, unemployed people who sleep all day during the week. He hasn't worked for almost four years. He could find a job flipping burgers or in a chicken factory or telemarketing. These jobs, along with others, are available in our area. He tells me he wants to work in management. Um, he's never worked in management and has a huge gap in his shoddy work experience; therefore, he will not be hired in management. He's picky about where he applies and will not broaden his scope of interest for prospective jobs. He's an idiot. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 3:17:07 PM |
I was told by a judge even moms hold same obligations as dads. I was paying $120 a month when I made $7 an hour.
I give now $200 a month since I doubled that. It's still not a whole lot for him, but something I could afford. I have no problem helping my child.
Does your child's father have 100% custody? | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 3:19:19 PM |
Why are men being ordered to pay child support if DNA tests have proven they are not the father?
In Canada and now more and more parts of the US, you just have to be a perceived father figure.... There was actually some talk last year in Canada of going after the grandparents for support also.... both bio and non-bio...in fact some states have started looking at seeking support from the baby's grandparents in the case of underage parents....
I work as a career counselor. There are jobs out there.
Spending weekends in jail should not limit his job prospects.
A lot of employers do a criminal background check on prospective employees... spending time in jail even for a traffic offense can be a headache for the person...
Aside from that, I worked for a company that used to "avoid" hiring anyone with a garnishee on their paycheque because of the legal consequences involved with forwarding support payments etc on time... not the least of which being the extra paperwork...
He could find a job flipping burgers or in a chicken factory or telemarketing. These jobs, along with others, are available in our area.
And just how many hours a week and at what hourly pay...? And will that leave enough to pay support after his rent, utilities, bus pass, food clothing and so forth? flippin burgers around here will pay $9.75 if you're an adult... however, most chains only hire students because they can pay them less.... income tax rate here in Ontario runs about 20-23% of gross....
Let's see, $9.75 for 37.5 hours=$365.62 a week times 52 weeks=$19,012.50 a year...
minus
income tax=3802.50
bus pass = $1200+ per year
Rent = $975 times 12 months =$11,700 year (Average rate for an apartment here is actually higher than that, but I know someone in a nice building who pays that for his)
Food for one man say $100 per week $5200 a year
So let's see we add up the income we get $19,012.50
We add up the costs and we get $21,902.50
You can't even survive on those wages around here, let alone pay support....
So to live and support a child you need more than burger slinging wages.... | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 3:22:52 PM | So to live and support a child you need more than burger slinging wages....
I agree with that statement completely for a person who lived in a household where this is the only income and you have significant financial obligations. But this is not my child's father's situation. His wife makes good money. That's how he is able so sit on his ass and not put forth much effort to earn money of his own. She supports him in every area of his life, except child support (and it is not her responsibility to do so). So, I think that a burger slinging job would be sufficient for him to pay support, since he's only ordered to pay $187 a month. That's less than $45 a week, for goodness sakes! | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:01:24 PM | I really hate to ask but did you have his child while he was married?
I mean I read your horror story post but just because you gave birth does not absolve you of your past life and make you a saint.....
If that was the case you could have gotten out of that situation long before you got pregnant. just sayin...... | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:05:52 PM |
I really hate to ask but did you have his child while he was married?
Nope. He wasn't married. But, if you read my "horror story post" then you may remember the story about my oldest son's father. This is the one I'm referring to in this post. He has three babies' mamas and four kids. He married the woman who had two of his kids about two years ago. He told me that he only married her cuz she had the most of his kids and it would save him from paying her a crapload of child support. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:13:42 PM | | Why on earth would you ever have a child with this man? And yet another from a different man? And still be single and looking for another here on a dating site. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:13:50 PM | Why on earth would you ever have a child with this man? And yet another from a different man? And still be single and looking for another here on a dating site.
A man would be told at this point that maybe he should consider getting snipped.
just sayin' | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:16:30 PM | Why on earth would you ever have a child with this man? And yet another from a different man? And still be single and looking for another here on a dating site.
Refer to my "horror story post" that you said you had read previously for the answer to your first two questions. And as for the third question. My profile does say I'm single, but it says I'm looking for friends. I'm NOT looking for a date. I enjoy meeting new people for friendship, and I like the forums. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 5:51:49 PM | There should be no child support exchanged and custody should be split 50-50. The whole child support scam is just another government entitlement program that is taken advantage of by greedy immoral people. The government gets a cut of the $$$ on all the child support payments it collects. The less time the ncp sees thier child the more money they rake in. Thats why the family court system screws over the ncp (usaully the father) and changes them from being a parent into a "visitor" in thier childs lives. The poor ncp only gets to see thier kids 4 days a month.
I'm sick of hearing the greedy custodial parents b*tching (usaully the mother) wah wah my ex owes me $$$$$!!!! boo hoo poor me wah wah! What I say to them is "do you want to trade places and lose custody of your kids and only see them every other weekend and a couple of weeks in the summer? Would you be happy if you missed out on 80% of your kids childhood? Would you like paying your ex 30% of income.
They are so greedy and selfish it makes me sick. No one owes them money for supporting thier own child. 50-50-No CP is the way it should be. The custodials complain about $$$$ the ex owes but the ncps miss out on seeing thier kids and that time is priceless. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/15/2009 6:31:44 PM | Ahh but didn't you hear, kids don't need fathers full time because they should be out working more.
I agree with your sentiments in that you rarely hear a single father moaning about child support. They have a greater understanding that the the time spent with their kids is worth way more than any dollar amount.
But a rational woman wants more because she knows she can get it. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 11:15:43 AM | You rarely hear men complain about childsupport? The good guys don't, at least when they are being dealt with fairly. I reconnected with a guy from high school on facebook. One of the last times I even read a status update from him was when he posted about how thrilled he was to only have 30 cs payments left. Wow. Here in PA ncp are only required to pay until the child becomes 18 or graduates high school. (unless both parties agree to cont through college) Counting down? Seesh. Don't get so excited. My ex contantly whines about not being able to find the kind of job he wants, how much he has to pay, that he needs to take care of his step sons and 2 younger kids under 5.... Your child didn't ask to be born.
Tired of the poor me I cannot find a job comments. I am unemployed myself. EVERY DAY (weekdays and weekends!!) I look for a job. That's my job now. I worked in a school so I got paid for 10 months, but it was spread out to 12 months. That runs out at the end of the month. I am working when called. If I do not have a regular job then I will go full time freelance. (an agency calls me when they have a request) If I have to I WILL flip burgers to supplement that. All of my kids are over 18, but I do what I can to help them. They all work. Two have 2-3 jobs.
The women who trick a man into getting pregnant or who lie about who the father is are scum. Just as any ncp parents who whines and/or walks away from his/her kid(s) is.
The bottom line is - every time you have sex you take the chance the woman could conceive. It' s not a mystery any more. Take responsibility YOURSELF for birth control and if it fails - the consequenses. Supposedly we're adults. It's about time "parents" acted like it. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 12:26:42 PM | janni, reading comprehension skills a little lacking are they?
Reread it without freaking defensive all men are scum including the bio father who I was silly enough to impregnate me more than once glasses and you may notice that I said Single fathers who HAVE custody of their children.
Those men rarely complain about not getting child support from their deadbeat ex fetus carriers because they value the time they are given with their children far more than the measly dollars they would recieve.
Men who pay commonly look forward to the end of the current slavery you and many other women see fit to enjoy putting men through for as long as you can.
It isn't the mens political lobby groups that go whining to their elected government officials or got the laws changed to ensure that most divorce or custody settlements are in favour of women. So for you to come here and moan about how expensive it is to raise kids on your own because your ex feels a little jilted by the fact that he pays through the nose just for the priveledge of maybe seeing his OWN kids four days a month and week or two in the summer is a little petty don't you think.
All this bytching and moaning about equal rights this and equal pay that and you have the nerve to feel that those kinds of settlements are okay just goes to show just what kind of person you are. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 12:43:47 PM | Maybe if more people used condoms they wouldn't be in this mess. The other alternative would be to keep your pockets full, so you could afford to pay, since it all boils down to dollarology.      | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 2:12:18 PM | Well my son mom is in jail fore a long time I made mistake a being with her
In addition, he never seen her be for he just knows me
It weird he never asks me do I have a mom...
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