| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 4:19:18 PM | | they locked up my ex for her not paying her support it took 13 years she is mad but the way I look at it money is not the issue it takes two to make a child | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 6:15:10 PM | Dude I hate to say it but if it wasn't about the money than it was about revenge, I feel sad for you even more so for your kids. You must be proud that you got her thrown in jail.
By doing that you are condoning the current lopsided and screwed up system we now have. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 7:05:43 PM |
Damn straight they should be held to the same standards. Any person, man or woman who has the means to fulfill their obligations to their children should absolutely be held accountable if they fail to do so.
I agree completely. Anyone that thinks otherwise is a hypocrite. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 7:33:58 PM | spider-sorry I miss read the part about custodial dads. Please re-read much of what I wrote. (oh and gee, look - I did not resort to degrading you!) I did give kudos the guys who do the right thing. I gave up man-hating a long time ago. Actually feel rather sorry for my ex - he's a sad human being and missed out on seeing some great kids grow up. Perhaps you need to examine your own biases as well.
As for the men who have custody, they should have child support as well. Raising kids is tough, they weren't conceived by one parent and deserve to be taken care of by both. I don't think men persue child support as much because there is a huge stigma attached. Society says they are supposed to be able to handle it and they are less manly if they go after the mom. Horse hockey.
The currently slavery I put my ex in? Seriously? Yeah... since my kids were immaculate conceptions (there WERE two of us involved) and since I made every effort for the first four years to keep him involved - sent school/sports/activity schedules and half of the pictures I paid for. Never asked for an increase in cs in 15 years. Got a total of 13 payments since and including 2007. He has been given second, third and 100th chances to do the right thing all around. Sorry, but having kids hits you in the wallet for any parent.
I never said I thought the system was perfect in any way. I know alot of good people - both cp and ncp who put their kids first. If more people did so, we wouldn't have all of these problems. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 7:40:12 PM | | Custody should be 50-50 with no child support. No one should get thrown in jail for not paying child support especially a woman. If I ever have children and I get seperated from the woman I would go for 50-50 joint custody and would fight untill I got it. If the judge awarded me primary custody I would still go 50-50 with the mom because kids need both thier parents. If I had an ex that got so screwed up that she was incapable of taking care of the children and I had to take them full time I still would not take child support from her because i'm too much of a man to take money from a woman. I would tell her to use that money to get herself into therapy to straighten her ass out. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 8:16:25 PM | | Yes, things are changing. I am a single father with 2 girls. Their mother has not paid her support in a long time. I think the figures were 1300 paid over the course of 2 and a half years. Nothing in the past year now. She is currently in jail facing up to 8 years on felony non-support. So it does happen to woman as well. It's unfortunate that people (men and women) cant step up and help support the life they helped create. So yes, things are most certainly changing and women are being held to the same standards as men, with regards to supporting their children. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 8:26:18 PM | | HPotters not all parents are willing to do the 50/50 split. While it would definitely be desirable that both parents equally do their share it's the ideal arrangement but definitely not the standard of today. So any parent that isn't supporting their child, man or woman, fall behind and the state decide to lock them up I have very little remorse. Of course there is always more to each story but looking at this on the surface assuming she had the means to support her children and decided not to she gets no pity from me. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 8:36:01 PM | | Hpotter.... 50/50 would be nice in any situation where neither parent is a drug user/abuser. Where the parents are civil towards one another. When both parents can teach their children right from wrong. Not every situation can work that way. Some people either refuse to grow up or simply just don't care to. Being a parent is a privilege and should not be taken lightly. If a man/woman cant step up and do whats right for their child/children then they deserve what ever the courts deem necessary | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 9:36:09 PM | FATALATTRACTION----
I think the figures were 1300 paid over the course of 2 and a half years. Nothing in the past year now. She is currently in jail facing up to 8 years on felony non-support. So it does happen to woman as well.
She hasnt paid in a year and she's going to the pen for 8 years thats evil if its true. How could you put the mother of your children behind bars for 8 years??? What will your kids think about you? I also dont like the fact that my tax dollars are being used to pay the 30,000 a year it costs to keep people who dont pay child support behind bars.
Heres something you posted on an old thread---
FATALATTRACTION---
I am newly single, i have custody of my two girls (8 and 5 almost 6). I fought for 4 yrs to prove my ex unfit, no i am wondering about how women feel about dating a single father. My children do, and have always come first. I refuse to bring people in and out of their lives so when i do find someone i hope she can be patient with that aspect. Is it harder as a single father??? And to all you single women out there with children i give you credit....its not always easy. A bit more difficult as a father of girls as well, not exactly comfy looking for that first training bra...LMAO....had to cheer this up a little bit. But seriously is it more difficult as a single father???...........yes 4 long years, being a man i had to prove a lot more in the eyes of the court than a woman would of had to. Now she is facing felony non-support in a few more days. Things always work out if you are determined to give you children a better life and never give up.
Then another poster replied----
It doesn't take a major genius to note your statement that your ex is facing "FELONY child support charges..." Hmmmmm guess your ID does fit you very well...
My point is this... It is one thing to fight for your kids, and also to go for child support... It is completely another to gloat on a forum that you nailed your CHILDRENS MOTHER AS UNFIT, and NOW sending her off to jail for not paying child support...
Another poster replied-----
I have no problem dating single fathers but i would have issues dating one who felt it necessary to tell the world how he picked an unfit mother to bear children with and then fought said unfit mother in court for 4 years and is waiting to watch her carted off to jail for not paying child support.
You must really want to destroy this woman......
So I am going to give you my honest impression of you as a human being. I don't see much compassion in you so regardless of your status as a parent, you are not someone I would date.
That you fought for 4 years tells me something about the mother of your children....she loves them or she wouldn't have fought you for custody. I don't know many perfect parents but I do know where there is love for a child, there is hope.
I firmly believe that children need two parents, not one. Lets face it, if she was so unfit, it wouldn't have taken you 4 years to get custody...child protection would have stepped in much sooner and removed them from her custody...maybe it just took 4 years for you to completely destroy her.........
From your posts in this thread, you come off as a really controlling vindictive person....just sayin
You are an evil abusive guy for trying to put your ex behind bars for 8 years for falling a year behind on her child support..........
Statistically abusive men who file for custody against thier victims get custody 70% of the time. I personally know alot of scumbag abusive guys who got custody of thier kids to punish thier ex. The family court system is very screwed up and needs to change. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:34:27 PM |
The currently slavery I put my ex in? Seriously? Yeah... since my kids were immaculate conceptions (there WERE two of us involved) and since I made every effort for the first four years to keep him involved - sent school/sports/activity schedules and half of the pictures I paid for. Never asked for an increase in cs in 15 years. Got a total of 13 payments since and including 2007. He has been given second, third and 100th chances to do the right thing all around. Sorry, but having kids hits you in the wallet for any parent.
How many kids did you have with your ex? How long were you married? Was he an attentive father while your family was together?
You are an evil abusive guy for trying to put your ex behind bars for 8 years for falling a year behind on her child support..........
Ditto.
It's no surprise how this guy's relationship ended. His ex was probably scared to death of him.
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/17/2009 4:42:10 AM | I never said I thought the system was perfect in any way. I know alot of good people - both cp and ncp who put their kids first. If more people did so, we wouldn't have all of these problems. Janni
Yes nice sentiment there janni but could you agree that if we that if more couples put their marraige partner first we wouldn't have these problems, I won't say it an easy thing to do and nobody is perfect take a sec to hear me out.
I think everyone hear can agree that they someone who should have never had kids. Those people should be rare but I think lately that they are more common than not.
You guys date for awhile, the sex is good and you guys (mostly you) talk marraige> he says sure baby whatever makes you happy.
Time goes by and you start talking new house (mainly you) and he says sure baby whatever makes you happy.
Conversation scenario repeats again and again. His requests are met with a different tone are most times pertaining to sex, going out with the boys and golf (substitute many other man activities) The words Sure baby whatever makes you happy are rarely heard from.
The subject of kids goes the same as others and he (if he loves you and the sex is still great ) says sure baby whatever makes you happy.
Bouncing baby whatever pops out and sure as hells fire converstion turns more to I do everything, you do nothing for these kids. I change the diapers, I do all the feedings etc. This may not really be true but the stressors of raising a child usually make it easier for a woman to take out those frustrations on the guy.
Now some may actually get this and apologize and explain that reason and ask for forgiveness. This should be followed though by two things and this is where most couples who have kids screw up.
Women have to own up to the fact that your idea and his idea of kids are way different. Some men will come around faster than others but generally it takes longer than the amount of patience most women have. It is written here so often that women are better caregivers, emotional bonds are stronger than mens usually followed by I had to lug him around for nine months what did you have to do.
Secondly (and this is where the slave part comes) He did agree to the house, he did basically give you cart blanche on everthing in it, and he did agree to let you have kids. He basically signed on - the slave tat was put on the moment he said I do.
Your end was to pick the right guy, keep giving him sex just like before you said I do and realize that if he doesn't miraculously transform into the miracle father/husband after the kid comes out its your fault.
Regardless of whatever he said before hand, his end of the conversation was influenced by his deep desire to keep having sex with you.
these forums are filled with guys that were willing to be slaves for sex. Men are very simple, give them sex, keep your expectations low and let them be the guys you fell in love with. If you wanted a ward cleaver family man you should have found him first and then began the process.
The successful marraiges are most likely where the guy is still allowed to be the guy you thought was a hottie, that may sound simplistic but how then can you explain why single unwed mothers are looking for the more responsible type of guy after she had a kid.
Why would divorced moms with young kids be looking essentially for the must love kids ward cleaver type.
And the divorced older ladies whose kids are grown or almost there be looking for someone who rocks their world drives a sportscar/motorcycle and loves to travel?
Why because they all chose the wrong guy to have kids with.
nuff said. I could have added the nagging aspect to the above but women don't nag ? do they?
Oh but women are righteous when they put their exes in jail. This is in response to the above post.
And as far as children are worth every penny, I would agree but the resentment comes from some of the factors I stated and it is totally different when you live with them everyday. The other aspect is if he hates you he will resent the fact that you may get to enjoy some of the money he has to fork over, even if it just a penny. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:28:13 AM | | Good. A parent ordered to pay support that does not follow a court order should be jailed. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:30:59 AM | | Question: when a warrant is issued for past due child support is it the custodial parent that alerts the authorities or is it the Department of Child Support? | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:52:37 AM | First, futureshock your profile is just created to get on forums and argue with people. You don't even deserve a response.
Second.. Hpotter.... an abusive guy...lol now thats funny. The court system is not perfect. People are not perfect. I am a good parent. I have given my ex the chance to gain 50/50. She has not stepped up to the plate. Yes i am recently single...not from the woman i had the children with. Gaining custody of my children has nothing to do with punishing my ex. Its all about making sure my children are in a stable, safe environment. I simply replied to a forum about women paying child support/ being jailed for non support. i stated a few facts in my case, not all. Your profile is also just a means to stir things up with people and will NOT get another response from me.  | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:19:34 AM | Totally agree....
Ive only been paid about £200 in total after 16 years, and they do very little if you are male. The csa are sexist and when the table was turned a long time ago when she had custody for around 2 months before the court case, I was told I had to give a third of my money over or face jail. (out of £55 i had to give £22)
Jobs under the table.....exactly....
When I was looking for a solicitor in 1992 I went to 4 and they all told me I dont think you will win as the mothers nearly always get the child, its where they belong....(very sexist), but I did get custody...
I have raised my daughter without financial help for 17 years now...even though her mother has holidays cars and her nails done every week, including expensive bags and shoes etc.....but if that was a man doing that, surveillance cameras would have got them by now...long ago actually.
5 years ago they threatened they could take away driving licences etc, but still they say we cant do that unless we do a tax search which takes a month, then say if she is not working we cant do anything, even if the person she has married is a millionaire!!!
(thats not taken into account!)
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/17/2009 1:58:48 PM |
It's not sexist woman were made to be nuturers and caregivers to children its biology. Males are the protectors and providers
It isn't biology it is social. Gender is created and solely supported by society and has nothing to do with biological sex. These are learned behaviours so it actually is sexist to assume that a male cannot be just as nurturing if not more solely based on the fact that he has a penis. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/17/2009 2:26:15 PM | Wow triple V, not that I agree with using newborn caregiver doctrine as a means to give women custody of younger children because men can learn to be excellent caregivers but come on how far out of touch have we become from nature that you could honestly believe that.
You have heard of the wildlife channel or national geographic? You watch those shows and tell me that the females are not the prime caregivers of of mature?
If I asked you where beef came from would your answer be mcDonalds? | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/17/2009 2:38:04 PM | sorry if I think we as humans are more advanced than animals. not every mother is nurturing, loving, and all that other TLC stuff. Whatever the case, the courts found it necessary to give custody to the father which we all know is rare so there is a good chance she was involved in some type of risky behavior and unable to provide a nurturing and loving environment for her kids...assuming she wanted to.
It's still a part of the gender role, period. I don't understand why it's so shocking to believe that a man can love and care for a child like a woman can. There are a lot of men on this website that do it. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/17/2009 2:48:41 PM |
Divorce, single parents, queer marriages, single males raising babies taking child support $$$ from women is just a sign of the sick times we live in, but America is a crumbling empire anyway and is due to collapse soon.
 sigh Shaniqua, Shaniqua, Shaniqua....bless your heart. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/17/2009 6:20:11 PM | Sorry triple V I guess we are on the same side here for I know many men that are great carers of their children but I think there are less people like shaniqua then there should be.
Do you feel there has been a tendency to try to force society to unlearn what it takes to be a man or woman?
Women are shunning the traditional roles in record numbers and I am not sure if we are the right path there. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/17/2009 6:47:34 PM |
Women are shunning the traditional roles in record numbers
Good thing women throughout history have "shunned traditional roles in record numbers" or women today would not have the right to vote, work outside the home, run for politics, be ordained as clergy, pursue higher education, among other things. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/17/2009 6:58:18 PM |
Good thing women throughout history have "shunned traditional roles in record numbers" or women today would not have the right to vote, work outside the home, run for politics, be ordained as clergy, pursue higher education, among other things.
Ditto, Also, there was a time on the not to distant past when men were the primary parents/caregivers/etc., and the men got custody most of the time. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:35:07 PM |
Do you feel there has been a tendency to try to force society to unlearn what it takes to be a man or woman?
Women are shunning the traditional roles in record numbers and I am not sure if we are the right path there.
Men are shunning traditional roles as well. What is considered tradition is always subject to change over time. I don't believe that women are changing to spite tradition or men, we are making the right choices for us. I think it is a beautiful thing in most cases. | |
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