| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:48:01 AM | Please dumb this down for me.
Why would a father who:
Was all for having children before they were conceived
Was in love with the woman with whom he had the children at the time of their conception
Planned the children in question
Loves the children
Why would this person object to paying child support? | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/21/2009 7:02:32 AM | Quote: "Most people I know that have been in jail were scared at first but then they found out it wasn't so bad--3 hots and a cot, not having to get up in the morning and go to a job they hate, they came out desensitized to it. If you told them they would have to go back to jail for a week they would be like "oh well whatever......" Prison time doesn't reform anyone it's just supposed to be used to keep dangerous people off the street. What if your ex goes to the pen and befriends some real nasty hard core violent inmates who have contacts on the outside who would put a bullet in your head for a couple thousand dollars? A middle class person sent to prison has money and resources those lowlife inmates desperatly want and would do anything to get.
If someone sends an ex to jail for not paying child support they are really looking for trouble. Now your pissed off ex will be spending all thier time with hardened criminals and they will be b*tching about you to them constantly. I bet you anything one of them would gladly direct your ex to some of thier low life friends on the outside who would do any nasty diabolical thing your ex wanted them to do to you for some $$$$."
First off, Cp's don't "send" their ex's to jail. The ex chooses that road by being irresponsible. And the courts and prosecutor decide whether or not to send them there. Stop blaming the RESPONSIBLE parent for the IRRESPONSIBLE parents actions. All non paying NCP's do is validate that the judge and FOC made the right choice in deciding who got custody.
P.S. Hardened criminals are generally in prison- not jail. And the jail/prison records and monitors communications between inmates and people who are not inmates, so having a hit out on a CP is very highly unlikely. Wow, you sure have an active imagination though. My question is : How many people do you know that have been in jail or prison? Maybe you shouldn't be hanging around that kind of people....I mean, after all, your a high school coach aren't you? Not only that, but to put in your profile that you are looking for a man with a big di*k?????? Talk about people not being selective when it comes to their partner!!!
I'm sure the school would find your profile inappropriate. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/21/2009 1:01:05 PM | | Ok, so i'm glad there are other people who can see what this person is writing,she is a coach in a high school ! so she is going to influence the kids of N.Y. , what the hell!?I guess you really dont get a background check inN.Y. when you work for the school system there. KINDA SCARY !!!!! | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/21/2009 1:33:02 PM | I say toss all these deadbeat parents on a desert island (after neutering them) Then toss all the juvinile delinquents they and their like have bred there with them, let them duke it out!
Survival of the fitess! | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/22/2009 10:40:16 AM |
But you can legislate to help the only innocent person who shouldn't be impacted by that lack of goodness or responsibility of the others.
No, I'm afraid you can't. In my experience in life, some of the worst things I've ever seen happen were followed by the words, "But I was only trying to help." Children are going to be impacted no matter what legislation exists. Child support is not the answer in every situation, yet we make every effort to apply it to all. Some children are (or would be) better off if we kept our noses out of their business.
Please dumb this down for me.
Why would a father who:
Was all for having children before they were conceived
Was in love with the woman with whom he had the children at the time of their conception
Planned the children in question
Loves the children
Why would this person object to paying child support?
For the same reason a mother in the same position suddenly chooses to take the children away from their father to get child support. A marriage dissolution is tough enough to deal with as it is. Compound that with the adversial conditions created by family law (particularly the manipulation tactics of lawyers taking advantage of people in ways a psychologist would be thrown in jail for were they to conduct themselves in a similar manner). It not only challenges the best of us, but breaks the weakest and utterly destroys them. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/22/2009 11:07:39 AM | | FS to answer your question. Because he's the one with primary custody, or it will put him in such a bind that he will no longer be able to support himself. Remember they base support off Gross pay not net pay. So the NCP get screwed. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/22/2009 11:54:14 AM |
Please dumb this down for me.
Why would a father who:
Was all for having children before they were conceived
Was in love with the woman with whom he had the children at the time of their conception
Planned the children in question
Loves the children
Why would this person object to paying child support?
There are several reasons, none of which are "good" reasons. Some men are in love with the idea of being a dad but are woefully unprepared for the reality. Some are unable to separate their hate for their ex from their responsibility to the children... these are the ones who are determined to make sure life is hard for their ex and don't care about the effect on the children. Some just aren't capable of having feelings for anything except themselves and their money. Some have children as a status symbol... their children are nothing to them unless they're "useful" somehow.
IMHO, in spite of all the studies that show that children are better of with both parents, if a parent needs to be shamed or forced into supporting their children they should lose all rights to them. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/22/2009 7:29:28 PM | | It's good for a child to have both figures in their lives, but it depends on who that mother or father is, every child deserves a mother/father, but NOT every mother/father deserves their child | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/23/2009 4:00:58 PM | the father of my child was over 35k in arrears when he finally got nabbed! irony is, he had started paying AND being a dad, but i figured out that the department of child support looks only for opportunity at a certain point!
put a lien on his bank account for 30k, but was able to convince texas oag to only take 15k of it (which they did, unbelievable).
then, when he came out west, he was denied a driver's licence. had to jump thru major hoops to get one! gave the sob story about not being able to find work without one, and eventually got it freed up.
the moral of the story is that just when you have given up hope of ever seeing a dime of arrearages, you might suddenly be suprised, but it has affected his cash position such that he can't even afford to entertain our daughter on the occ. week-end, so definitely a trade-off! | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/28/2009 3:06:23 PM | | i think its about time that themothers pay ive had coustdy of my daughter for almost ten years she does not pay any thing of course i dont want her monie or her around she also has a son by another man she is court orderd to pay she is in the rears in the thousands and the judge want do anything so its about time that they are made to pay. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/28/2009 3:21:09 PM | | It really does take people owing a whole heck of a lot of money for anything to be done about it. My dad was $22,000 behind in back child support before he got his back social security. The child support he owed came out of his back pay. But still, $22,000 is a lot of money and no one was threatening to take him to jail over it. | |
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Rynnnn
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Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 132 | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/29/2009 8:36:48 PM | | Blair won't be the only one jailed . In my situation I didn't file, the judge demanded she pay clild support and the mom is refusing. Shes over 3000 behind and won't work. she's mooching off her dad and thinks it's all ok. She's only hurting the kids. She can't even show up for court sober and that caused her to lose her unsupervised visitation. She's doing it to her self. Oh well, you can't make someone change and the kids don't need the drama. I'm glad I don't hear from her anymore but the older kids miss her, to a point. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/30/2009 12:21:14 PM | Women NEED to be hled accountble for the non-payment of child supporrt such as men.Equality,isnt that what they said they wanted?LMFAO.....karma! | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/30/2009 2:57:39 PM |
Why would this person object to paying child support? My ex seems to dig all the glory, all the face value, but none of the work/parenting involved. Paying support, buying ANYTHING or giving any money, it doesn't happen because he is way selfish. Ok, mental illness, but still selfish none the less. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/30/2009 3:52:08 PM | | My ex is the same way, he is a deadbeat father an dening his daughter at first till I got all the papers for the hospital stating he is the father. I could not trust him to pay child support on his own so I went to family court an had it put in place, just like yr situations ammazzed my ex is selfish as well. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/31/2009 10:47:29 AM | I agree, it doesnt matter if you are a mother or a father, if you have children who do not reside with you, it is your responsibility to help pay and care for them. Ignoring that responsibility makes you a bad person, literally, a pretty crappy person. I myself have been going through this with my ex husband, who now owes $10,600. What gets me is how long you have to wait and how far things get behind before anyone will do anything about it.
Although I m not sure what jail will do to pay the amount owed??? Maybe the jail is simply punishment, but if she is sent to jail "instead" of paying the child support, taht just doenst make any since, it does not benefit the children....... | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 8/31/2009 5:16:02 PM |
I agree, it doesnt matter if you are a mother or a father, if you have children who do not reside with you, it is your responsibility to help pay and care for them.
But if they do reside with you do you have the same legal requirement to be also paying for them?
Where in any family law act is there a law that requires custodial parents to also be working and finacially proving to the cost of raising a child?
Sorry but I happen to feel that as a custodial parent it is also my responsiblity to finacially provide for our children. To often part time work or being a student is the reason single mothers and their children suffer and mothers never challenge them that they also bear responsiblity to provide for the children.
It takes two to tango...two to create children but family law requires only one parent to work! | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 9/1/2009 2:15:40 AM | | My ex has not paid child support. She is court ordered and I was nice and had it reduced because she has very little income. I upsets me because she is scott free from responsibility of her children but I still let them see her because it is what is best for them. She goes to the bar when ever she pleases and lives a single life with no responsibility until she feels lonely and comes and gets the kids. I just don't understand how a parent can walk away from responsibility of their children, financial or otherwise. It upsets me because she is not cheating me out of a better life she is cheating her children. She refuses to pay cause "I don't need the money because I make more then her." What she and other parents don't realize is the money is not for me it is for the kids. It gets them clothes, pays for daycare, food, etc. When will people wake up and realize that children are gifts. Child support is a small price to pay to see children get what they need and deserve. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:50:27 AM | | The Government needs to crack down on all Deadbeat Parents, regardless of the sex of the Deadbeat. I think that a big problem comes from the enforcement agencies need more teeth to come after that Deadbeat earlier. There are too many ways for Deadbeats to beat support payments. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 9/4/2009 7:35:01 AM | two to create children but family law requires only one parent to work! Not in Australia. Family Law does not "require" any parent to be in paid employment. That 'choice' is entirely up to the parents. And CS is always assessed on income. So, no parent, male or female is ever ordered to pay based on what they *could* be earning if they were working.
To often part time work or being a student is the reason single mothers and their children suffer As you know I disagree with this statement as a blanket generalisation. Neither me or my children "suffer" as a result of my not working for their pre-school years.
In fact, I am 100% certain that as a result of my not working and also deciding to study alongside being the children's primary caregiver, that not only I have I almost certainly prevented my children 'suffering' but I have ensured their and my future prosperity - emotionally, developmentally, educationally and financially.
My ex-husband & I believed pre-divorce and still do now that parenting is a team effort, but that does not always equate to each parent contributing in exactly the same way. My ex-husband cannot and does not want to provide primary custodial care to our children, but he does believe that until they are at school that they should be cared for by one of us as much as is feasible. And he has committed to financially supporting the children alone for that period of time.
Of course once they are at school full time, plus extra extracurriculars start to kick in etc, then that's a completely different ballgame. No way am I sitting around playing 'lady of leisure' whilst they are gone 30+ hrs a week. Frankly, I can't wait to get back into the workforce, for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which is to return to a life without any government assistance and to be financially supporting our children alongside their father. | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:01:24 AM | I am actually surprised this hasn't happened before. Ohio CSEA is ALL over receiving support. Maybe the older cases take a while to clear up but I know for a fact the newer cases are handled very strictly. So it must be a state to state thing.
My daughter chose to live with her father and of course with him being residential parent I pay support, CSEA was all over me before the paperwork was even at my work for the agreed payroll deduction, threatening me with suspension of drivers liscence, IRS already had paperwork to hold my tax refund etc. , eventhough it was their fault for not getting the paperwork to my employment in a timely manner. So, I paid and then payroll deduction started, now I am overpaid by about 2 payments, do you know CSEA does not refund that money, you have to try and get that back from the other parent?
I do have to say one thing though, I trully think that a portion of the support paid should be forced into a account for the child that could not be used by the custodial/residential parent to enhance their lifestyle. It burns me that I pay support to help with the expense of our child living there (which I am perfectly cool with), yet she comes to my house hungry, I still buy most of her clothes. Her dad and stepmom go on vacations yet feel no need to include her, if my daughter goes anywhere special it is with me and me paying for it and any extrordinary expenses I still pay half of i.e. school fees, summer camp etc. ... support is supposed to be for the expense of raising the child and something should be in place to ensure that.
Regards
Child support paying mother | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:28:33 PM | what is good for the gander is good for the goose
reasons why it is good that mother is in jail
will be responsible
learn a trade
will be slimmer
be more fit
will realize to appreciate life
will be more loving and accepting
also i strongly believe that a child should be in the home of each parents50%...it was not 30% of the men's time...that is ridiculous all the responsibility on the women | |
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| Mom Jailed over child support
Posted: 9/4/2009 10:03:02 PM |
I am actually surprised this hasn't happened before. Ohio CSEA is ALL over receiving support. Maybe the older cases take a while to clear up but I know for a fact the newer cases are handled very strictly. So it must be a state to state thing.
My daughter chose to live with her father and of course with him being residential parent I pay support, CSEA was all over me before the paperwork was even at my work for the agreed payroll deduction, threatening me with suspension of drivers liscence, IRS already had paperwork to hold my tax refund etc. , eventhough it was their fault for not getting the paperwork to my employment in a timely manner. So, I paid and then payroll deduction started, now I am overpaid by about 2 payments, do you know CSEA does not refund that money, you have to try and get that back from the other parent?
I do have to say one thing though, I trully think that a portion of the support paid should be forced into a account for the child that could not be used by the custodial/residential parent to enhance their lifestyle. It burns me that I pay support to help with the expense of our child living there (which I am perfectly cool with), yet she comes to my house hungry, I still buy most of her clothes. Her dad and stepmom go on vacations yet feel no need to include her, if my daughter goes anywhere special it is with me and me paying for it and any extrordinary expenses I still pay half of i.e. school fees, summer camp etc. ... support is supposed to be for the expense of raising the child and something should be in place to ensure that.
Regards
Child support paying mother
That is harsh that they don't include her. I'm surprised your child prefers to live with them, they seem too wrapped up in themselves to really be as loving and attentive and the child deserves them to be. | |
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