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sjxx
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Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 52 | |
| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 1:40:24 AM | I agree with xrockax. I dont have many principles  but who would want someone elses man? His current owner has probably allowed him to get away with all sorts of dirty habits and he would require total re training. Better to go for a man who has been sad and alone for a while and mould and manipulate him into the partner I deserve. Desperation in a man is very attractive to me.  | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 1:56:34 AM | I agree with xrockax. I dont have many principles but who would want someone elses man? His current owner has probably allowed him to get away with all sorts of dirty habits and he would require total re training. Better to go for a man who has been sad and alone for a while and mould and manipulate him into the partner I deserve. Desperation in a man is very attractive to me. 
it does make me laugh when the dumped woman says "i spent 10yrs training him now shes getting the benefit" what benefits???? of him sittin in his boxers scratching his bits watching footie leaving dirty socks and skidmarked undies everywhere he cant find the washing machine and wouldnt know what a cooker was if it bit him? yeah right what you mean is you spent 10yrs being his slave and youre bitter cos he left you anyway
Your 'bit on the side' can have life long effects on people,their lives and their new relationships.
unfortunately selfish people cant usually see the effects their actions have on others | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 1:57:27 AM |
What feelings? Whose feelings? And what do feelings have to do with 'a bit on the side' anyway?
I'm sure there are a few women on here who have been cheated on that could explain far better than I the anger, bitterness, feelings of inadequacy and insecurity that comes with having that trust broken.
I'm sure there are many blokes who have dated women from here who struggle to help them regain that trust again.
Your 'bit on the side' can have life long effects on people,their lives and their new relationships.
He's hurting his wife and using the other woman.
Is the other woman not using him to alleviate her own bitterness, inadequacy and insecurity?
Food for thought eh ? | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 3:42:26 AM | I've just been to see the 'Ugly Truth' at cinema last night. (abt men and women and what they REALLY want) I went with a male friend and we both agreed it was true that what you cant 'have' or cant 'get ' is sometimes a little more 'interesting'!!! males and females.!!
As many people have said though IT IS that the grass is seen as greener on the other side and very often it just isn't as alot of us flamin know!!
I won't touch somebody else who is attached...Its not worth the hurt whatever 'the all seeing all knowing Daily Mail' has said  | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 4:28:21 AM |
I'm sure there are a few women on here who have been cheated on that could explain far better than I the anger, bitterness, feelings of inadequacy and insecurity that comes with having that trust broken.
I'm sure there are many blokes who have dated women from here who struggle to help them regain that trust again.
The only way people can have their trust re-built is to try and make better choices, not by people viewing them as victims! For the sake of this topic, there those single women who harbour feelings of inadequacy and insecurity having been in co-dependent relationships where they always put their partner's needs ahead of their own as this is the only way they could feel validated or have any sense of self worth, which is very sad. Unless they understand their pattern of relating and address it they will be drawn to others who fulfil this need in them. Married people are prime targets because if they are not getting their needs met by their wife they will be drawn to someone that aspires to meet them without complaining. These are the women who should be pitied really.
I still feel the cheater has done more harm than his/her accomplice...
THEY are the ones who made a promise to be faithful.
I agree 100%. | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 4:31:16 AM |
I still feel the cheater has done more harm than his/her accomplice...
THEY are the ones who made a promise to be faithful.
I agree but I also believe if you enter into a relationship with a married man you are showing zero respect for your fellow women although this is unimportant to many people (men and women) when matters of the heart are involved its all about what the person wants regardless of who gets hurt. | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 6:24:24 AM | Is the other woman not using him to alleviate her own bitterness, inadequacy and insecurity?
Perhaps. But, as other posters have mentioned, she may simply want a commitment-free fling. Who knows? Her motivation is secondary to the issue. Fair enough, it may not be nice to play with someone else's toys (ie, husband), but then again, the other woman isn't breaking any promises or betraying any vows either.
If you're arguing that the 'other woman' should share the blame for the affair, then I entirely disagree. Is the wife hurt that the other woman has betrayed her? No, because the other woman hasn't betrayed her. The wife is hurt that her husband has betrayed her. So it's her husband's misdeeds that have caused the pain. I can't make it any clearer than that.
How did the world react back in 2003 when we learned a band of obese American teens had launched a lawsuit against McDonald's for making them fat? Most of us were gobsmacked at the plaintiffs' complete and utter lack of personal responsibility. Well, how is cheating any different? Life is full of temptation. A married man who plays away then blames the 'other woman' for leading him astray is simply abdicating personal responsibility. | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:08:17 AM | The only way people can have their trust re-built is to try and make better choices, not by people viewing them as victims!
I agree to an extent, however as with the use of councellors , self help groups etc some need to reach that place of realisation of their problem which sometimes takes guidance or just simply that listening ear .
But, as other posters have mentioned, she may simply want a commitment-free fling.
I'm sure there are many single men seeking Intimate Encounter that could cater for those needs.
If you're arguing that the 'other woman' should share the blame for the affair, then I entirely disagree. Is the wife hurt that the other woman has betrayed her? No, because the other woman hasn't betrayed her. The wife is hurt that her husband has betrayed her. So it's her husband's misdeeds that have caused the pain. I can't make it any clearer than that.
As I said earlier ...........If the bike wasn't up for sale in the shop window in the first instance no one would buy it would they?
Ok a scenario, .............
If you were with someone who you knew commited multiple murders but you had nothing to do with the murder except concealing the gun for them after each slaughter would you be guilty of anything? | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:16:57 AM |
If you're arguing that the 'other woman' should share the blame for the affair, then I entirely disagree.
It takes two to perform a Tango. It takes two to perform adultery. How is she not partly to blame? Knowingly sleeping with a married man is morally wrong if a fling is all that is required then I am sure there are many single men out there only to happy to oblige. But to destroy a family unit and then shrug it has nothing to do with you is reprehensible. | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:12:27 AM |
If the bike wasn't up for sale in the shop window in the first instance no one would buy it would they?
Having been the one left at home with the baby, I laid a hefty dollop of blame at the feet of the other woman, but not all of it. If she hadn't made the moves, he wouldn't have responded. Ultimately he should have kept his pants zipped up, but had no reason to unzip them til she made a move.
I know this is isn't the case every time, just my experience.
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:18:17 AM | It was his choice to cheat, so he "destroyed the family unit" and his actions were "reprehensible." Simple as. It's not the other woman's fault that this man won't keep his fly zipped.
Its simple as the fact that if some women kept their legs closed some men couldn't cheat in the first place. The woman is complicit in the act of adultery and therefore shares the blame, regardless of it you like it or not it is factual not opinion.
com·plic·it [kuhm-plis-it] Show IPA
–adjective
choosing to be involved in an illegal or questionable act, esp. with others; having complicity.
lol Julianna, it's just sooooo much easier to blame the other woman, isn't it? I mean, if a wife dares confront her cheating husband, he might get angry and leave her - and she couldn't survive being left (gasp!) single - a fate worse than death! It's sooooo much easier to tell your husband, "There, there honey, it's all that devil woman's fault you climbed into bed with her."
Here is what I said for you to re-read:
It takes two to perform a Tango. It takes two to perform adultery. How is she not partly to blame?
I have at no point stated it is all the other womans fault. I believe as I said previously it takes two to tango. I do believe both parties are to blame. I also believe some men will cheat regardless and find a way to do so but if the other party is not willing there is no act of adultery, my point stands. | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:24:46 AM | This is a difficult thread to post on without nailing your opinion to the mast one way or the other !!
Statistically apparently just over 60% of married men have been unfaithful to their partner - historically the equivalent number for women has been much lower, nearer 40%, though over the last 5-10 years there is now little difference between the sexes !!
The statisticians suggest this is part of the continuing changes in terms of women working, socialising, being more mobile etc ie becoming a nicer smelling version of the men if I may suggest !!
Ultimately from an opinion based perspective, it takes two / possibly three to create this situation, and unfortunately for the two that do cheat, the person left picking up the pieces is usually the last thing on their minds | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:33:18 AM | And if McDonald's didn't sell Big Macs, no one would be fat either, right? Jeeeeeeeez!!!!!
Their promotions to lure those into obesity don't help the cause do they?
Ooooh, you are breaking a sweat trying to place the blame on the 'other woman'!
Please re-read my posts I'm stating that both are party to blame .
Guilty conscience, is it, Mac?
How so I have an opposing view to yours ?
Btw Please don't make it personal, not only does it break forum rules but also shows a weakness in your debating skills.
Thank you .
Okay, lemme get this straight. Is your scenario likening the murderer to the cheating husband and the gun concealer to his mistress? I just can see it now: "Yes your honor, I confess. I killed dozens of people. Shot 'em point blank in the head as they lay asleep in their beds - men, women, children, grandparents, the lot. I showed no mercy. But you know, it's not really my fault 'cuz that burd over there hid my revolver afterwards."
I would much rather it said you were unable to supply me with an answer than to post something not pertaining to its content !!
If you can't answer a simple yes or no 'tis not a problem . | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:42:38 AM | It takes two to tango so all this talk of who's fault it is is just plain stupid.
The husband/wife can't cheat unless there's someone prepared to sleep with someone who's married.
And a homewrecker couldn't wreck homes if there weren't spouses prepared to cheat.
Of course, all of this only applies where the "other" knows about the marriage.
I liken it to prostitution and the fact that those who use them tend to get more stick than the prostitutes themselves. One could not exist without the other, so both are equally to blame. | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:22:53 AM | | what a load of utter, utter balony, and some of the answers on here from self appointed phsycologists are laughable, probably not a great idea to take advice on what womed are attracted to from someone stuck on a free dating website! | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:38:28 AM | Ultimately he should have kept his pants zipped up, but had no reason to unzip them til she made a move.
Sorry to say CK but having been in the same scenario myself, if he hadn't unzipped his pants for her he would no doubt have done the same with someone else at some point. He had everything to lose, she didn't. If only men didn't think so much with their**** eh? Edit: I did apportion some of the blame on her too though...but in my case I felt more sorry for her. | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:54:43 AM | msg 52...I can only speak from what I see, hear and have experienced...so I wouldn't call that stereotyping.
Personally I think the thread title is a sweeping generalisation...stereotypical?
And slightly personal that last remark, but I'll let it go, not going to rise sorry apart from to say my married friends are exactly that, my friends! | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:04:04 AM | Wafta - I agree with you 100%. To me it's a case of the Golden Rule. I wouldn't have a relationship with a married woman because if I was married I wouldn't want a man to have a relationship with my wife.
I couldn't even be an accomplice in this kind of behaviour . If one of my married friends wanted to use my house for a liason with a single woman then I'd refuse. Nor would I let one of my unattached female friends 'entertain' a married man at my house.
Admittedly I can't speak from any experience of this. I've never met a woman who pursues married men. | |
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*kath*
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Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 70 | |
| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:06:01 AM | We are all responsible for our own behaviour and moral conduct,nobody can knowingly have a sexual relationship with a married person and expect to be viewed as the innocent party.
*EDIT..browneyes sorry I amended my post at the same time as you quoted it to *knowingly* | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:15:13 AM | nobody can have sex with a married person and expect to be viewed as the innocent party.
Well I have and I do expect to be viewed as innocent because I had no idea he was married........and he happened to be the first date I went on from this site! I'm a lot wiser after the event and as soon as I found out he was married which took nearly 4 months I dumped him.
^^^^no worries.....what you said makes a lot of sense and I guess I'm tending to put the onus on the married man more because of my own experiences which I hope never to repeat. Lol x | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 12:09:42 PM | What I like best about married women is that they generally have to get home pretty sharpish, so you don't have to spend ages cuddling them afterwards, and telling 'em that you love them.
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/17/2009 3:39:15 PM | | What an absolute load of bull!I was pursued by a married guy a year ago and i told him exactly what i thought of him!he even told me i was being harsh when i told him to either sort his marriage or get out of it!Not interested in anyone married or shacked up with their partner.I dont share! | |
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| Single women prefer married men! (It's true)
Posted: 8/18/2009 1:05:15 PM | | Hi all, i have been there and can tell you its true. I was 52 and she was 29. To cut a long story short, she really messed with my head, telling me she loved me etc. I know i was an old fool to let it happen and i know i hurt people by doing it, my only defence and it is flimsy is, i thought she loved me and we would be together, the only thing she wanted was my money and a good time. So to all the older men out there dont make the same mistake as me, even now nearly four years later i am still bitter over it, and my home life is still not where it should be. | |
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