| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/17/2009 2:32:33 PM | I've just read some of the posts. Thank you for some of the postitive ones. For those that don't like my list. It wasn't meant to be all inclusive. Maybe, you could point out some advantages or disadvantges.
In my encounters I have dated slim, and not so slim mothers. This however, is true for women without childern. So I will have to agree with M_Church and Jenn. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/17/2009 3:13:08 PM | | there are bad single parents on both sides when i go to collect childsupport from court which is a joke in it self there are as many low life dad as moms. in north carolina suingles moms get more than single dads but that the state not the singles mom . i am a single dad who takes very good care of his daughter and i am a christian. i am looking for a alady who will respect me and my daughter, and i don't think as single parents we should be dowhing the other sex but working together to get the system to help both because it not us that are suffering it is the childern who has 2 to deal with living in two house hold | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/17/2009 4:16:45 PM | Keep in mind that I live in WV right now, folks.
Where I am from in WA, the single mothers are MORE likely to be in shape and have tight bodies than the child-free chicks - mainly because they're realistic about their dating pool, and I would assume that putting on baby weight is a shock to health world for a lot of girls.
Where I live right now...
I am a sad, sad man. :(
/wrists. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:36:17 PM | | Jarhead is right,but when the court sets a womans child support at 10 $ a week per child(in my case) and they dont pay , I tend to get very pissed off at the system and my boys mom ! not to mention the fact that they never put her away for not paying,but if I didnt pay ,I would be locked up the first week I didnt pay. And you all know its true ! | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/18/2009 3:19:52 PM | | Nah, just got to wait out the ole ex, and I'll get everything I want. But this is not the point of the thread. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/18/2009 6:28:49 PM | ^^^^I always enjoy reading your posts. They are always postitive and full of hope.
Gadget. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/18/2009 6:36:08 PM | People may not be aware of this but girls learn MORE from their fathers in regard to fostering a healthy relationship with the opposite sex from their FATHERS...not their mothers. Furthermore, FATHERS teach their sons have to become men, not little sissy boys that most single moms have the tendency to do to their sons. Maybe not on purpose but its true in the majority of the single moms I know with boys.
MOTHERS are awesome at teaching boys their "emotional" side. Boys get their "nurturing skills" from their MOTHER not father in the majority of cases.
Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule but that is what they are.....exceptions and NOT the rule. Just look at ANY single mom with a son. You will see a young boy/man who has MORE feminine qualities. Now look at a single mom with a daughter. This last example the young girl/woman is more womanly.
I'm not sure about the boys of single mothers being sissies, but the part about the importance of the father in the lives of girls is true. Both boys and girls also learn self control from their fathers, among other things.
Fatherless boys, compared to well-fathered boys, are more likely to experience school failure; suffer from an emotional or behavioral problem; commit crime; develop an alcohol or drug problem; and commit suicide. Name the disorder, and fatherless boys are more likely to have it. ??But just as fatherlessness rears dysfunction, good fathers rear the opposite. Boys who grow up in a home in which they interact daily with a father who regularly and consistently controls himself despite the presence of strong emotions, learn how to control their own emotions. Boys who grow up in a home in which the father supports, encourages, and loves the mother, learn the importance of supporting and encouraging the females in their lives. In short, when boys grow up with a father who teach them what it means to be a good man, a good husband, and a good father, masculinity is not something to be feared or "re-constructed," but something wondrous to behold. ??
By Dr. Wade F. Horn
http://www.dadi.org/wh_b2men.htm
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/19/2009 1:22:52 PM | Seriously????
Also the above is not necessarly the case for single mothers who rely on a support network. I have noticed there are a lot, single mothers that don't have one or more of the above. This is not to say all single mother's don't.
Single Dads have one job? well I have 1 full-time and 1 part-time, maybe I'm better to date lol
more than post-secondary?? post secondary is the educational level following the completion of high school ie: college or trade school. I'm confused so is there a college after college? LOL I transferred from college to University maybe that is what you mean? lol
Single Dads should have their own place, I know of some who still live with their parents.
he has a car? wow maybe we can take turns on who gets to drive, I'll certainly leave mine at home to save in fuel.
He is family oriented? oh good because clearly single Moms are not, oh my bad I mean most of them.
and I won't even go on about the comment about single Moms who rely on a support network, what is that a pretty word for welfare recipients LOL We don't need them, we have job(s) I love how you say a lot of single mothers, there is also a lot of single mothers who do not have a car, job, and roof over their head? I know a whole hell of a lot more single mothers who do have these things than not. So why don't you just go with it is better to date a single father because he has a penis, end of list ;p LOL we are all good no matter what your gender | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/19/2009 1:47:21 PM |
ingle Dads have one job? well I have 1 full-time and 1 part-time, maybe I'm better to date lol
more than post-secondary?? post secondary is the educational level following the completion of high school ie: college or trade school. I'm confused so is there a college after college? LOL I transferred from college to University maybe that is what you mean? lol
Single Dads should have their own place, I know of some who still live with their parents.
he has a car? wow maybe we can take turns on who gets to drive, I'll certainly leave mine at home to save in fuel.
He is family oriented? oh good because clearly single Moms are not, oh my bad I mean most of them.
and I won't even go on about the comment about single Moms who rely on a support network, what is that a pretty word for welfare recipients LOL We don't need them, we have job(s) I love how you say a lot of single mothers, there is also a lot of single mothers who do not have a car, job, and roof over their head? I know a whole hell of a lot more single mothers who do have these things than not. So why don't you just go with it is better to date a single father because he has a penis, end of list ;p LOL we are all good no matter what your gender
I agree with your point you were making via sarcasm. The fact is, however, that more single dads are gainfully employed than single moms, and more single moms are welfare recipients than single dads.
(by percentage of single mothers and fathers) | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/19/2009 1:58:21 PM | ^^^^^
Ok Futureshock you got me there, yes there may be a higher percentage of single Mothers on welfare then single fathers, I just don't run in those circles I guess ;p I could see that for sure, but I wonder if there is a bigger percentage of single mothers to single fathers as a whole ??? I don't know, but I wonder. Yes my post was very sarcastic, most people don't catch on to my sarcasm that quick. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/19/2009 3:19:42 PM | | i wanna give props to the sagman. amen brother. as the oldest son in a single mother home i gladly say my mother raised me and my brothers the best way as far as i can see. curiosity is right though i think more women than men are single parents but i think that number is strarting to equalize and i hope in part because we men have seen what happens when we leave the household. in the past the reason for women getting the child was because the mother was supposed to feel more connected to the child and that the father was choosing to leave. nowadays women are leaving the relationship and wanna take the kids with em and actually dont let the fatehrs see their kids. they hold em like leverage against the father. im still young and considered a kid by most but ive got my kids because i want my kids. im not gonna let anybody use them as leverage against me. i know im not really contributing anything positive here but just about every time a single dad is given props (even its by another single dad) alot of people (and from what ive seen mostly single moms) seem to slap us in the face saying "its not as hard as being a single mom". im just tired of men, especially single fathers, being considered dead beats when compared to a woman. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/19/2009 3:49:08 PM | @ Curiosity
Sigh, I suppose that you didn't read my subsequent posts.
The list I posted was not to be definative or an example of all cases, just the majority. I later asked for other reasons dad's would be a good choice for women to date. Just to get custody of the child or childern a man needs have to have these things as a min. I've seen on profiles of single women/ mothers which that their potential date should have these things or don't even contact. So that would lead me to believe that there are more then just a few men that don't have these things. I never meant this to be an us vs. them post. Acutually this is more about why single fathers, might be a better selection over a man without childern.
I did leave out an "a" in more then just a post-secondary education. I meant more then simply a high school education. Again not to be an in all cases. I have single mothers in my MBA courses.
Support network isn't welfare. It can be, but child support (when recieved) living with family, supportive women, and so on. Men on the other hand are told to embrace the suck and make due. Again this is not an in every case situation.
I was trying to point out why single fathers are a good choice. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/20/2009 7:17:31 AM | Ok Gadgetdoc yes I get what you were trying to say and yes I agree with the context that Single Dads do have a lot of qualities, but these are qualities that you can also find in Men without children, don't you agree? I have guy friends that are very family oriented with their nieces and nephews, their parents, and friend's children even. Tell me something that a Single Father does not have that a Single Man without children has. ie: Once I became a mother, my compassion and patience grew to a higher level, and I know and experience unconditional love. I think the same would go for Single Dads. So yes single fathers deserve a pat on the back and admiration, but it is not a contest between single mothers and single fathers.
Support network isn't welfare. It can be, but child support (when recieved) living with family, supportive women, and so on. Men on the other hand are told to embrace the suck and make due. Again this is not an in every case situation.
FYI there are single mothers that do not receive child support, live with family, and generally don't even get any emotional support from anyone, and still have all the things you listed, I am one of them. All it takes is determination, courage and hard work to get what you want for your children in life, all with a sunny disposition. This is what makes single parents great people.... and yes not all of them ;p | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:11:36 AM | The fact is, however, that more single dads are gainfully employed than single moms, and more single moms are welfare recipients than single dads.
(by percentage of single mothers and fathers) And so what?
Of course there are more single mothers who are welfare recipients. And that is primarily because:
1. There are significantly more single mothers who are the primary or sole caregiver of the child/ren; creating for them substantial logistical and practical obstacles to working full time, particularly when the children are of pre-school age.
2. It is single mothers who are left by the father whilst they are pregnant and thus are dealing with end stage pregnancy and then a new born by themselves; frequently leading to it being necessary for them to not work in order to care for that baby.
3. Frequently, before they became single mothers the decision might have been made between man and woman that the woman would be primary caregiver of the children and stay at home when they are young, or sometimes even longer. Then the marriage/relationship ends and possibly the mother is now not only the primary or sole caregiver of the child/ren, but she may have also been out of the workforce for a number of years and so is having to deal with significant obstacles in terms of getting care for the children and also getting her foot back in the door employment wise.
Don't get me wrong, not doing the "poor single mothers, let's let them stay home and live on welfare for the rest of their lives".
However, I fail to see any significance to the fact there are more "gainfully employed" single fathers than mothers. Duh. Of course there are. And it has zero to do with single fathers being of better character or work ethic than their female counterparts.
It's just logistics and that the vast majority of primary/sole caregivers are mothers. When/if more men step up, (and/or in the case of some jurisdictions, are permitted to step up by the system), then this statistic will also shift.
Congratulations to all the men on here that remain committed to their children, sometimes in incredibly adverse circumstances. Of course, it's only what any father should be doing, as should any mother.
Sorry Gadget but I find your list a little redundant, as there is nothing on it that does not apply to a significant number of single mothers. None of things are the unique domain of the single father, by any stretch of the imagination. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/20/2009 9:01:47 AM | Curiosity. I would agree that their are women that aren't receiving any kind of network support. I would say this is more an exeption then a normative situation. I would also say their are single childless men with the same atrubutes, but a single father on a whole fly that flag. Therefore,there is less of a chance of those situations, not being present.
MeplusTwo. I think its tough to have a full-time job with a tottler. Hogwash. My son is 4 I work a full-time job, go to graduate school full time, and sell insurance part-time. It is a matter of time management.
I would say though some women are left by men, I would say this is over blown. I've met women that have walked away from a father while pregnat. Not all women have non-present father, or just a man the inseminated them and walked away. This is stero-type.
Gadget. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/20/2009 9:22:06 AM | I think this is really simple.
Society encourages women to use their children as an excuse to be lazy.
You're fat? Blame it on the kid.
You're in bad health? Blame it on the kid.
You don't work? Blame it on the kid.
You have a long string of f*cked up bf's/gf's? Blame it on the kid.
You keep nothing but crap food in the house? Blame it on the kid.
You live with your parents? Blame it on the kid.
And so on and so forth.
And upon using these excuses, most women get the, "I know about that!" response and are treated like a hero for being a lazy slob. Because they happened to get f*cked and procreate.
Men on the other hand are judged much more harshly. Could you imagine what society would think of a man with 2 kids by different mothers, who only worked part time when he felt like it, on welfare, and living at home with mom? And what if this dad went out clubbing every other night?
He'd be crucified.
Whereas if a single mother does it, women everywhere make excuses for her. "Even moms need to have fun!" is one I hear a lot.
I think that single fathers have a predisposition to be more responsible than single mothers because:
A. With few exceptions, if a man has full custody of the kids, that means he actually WANTED custody of them. He not only loves them, but he chose to take care of them.
B. Men are not given full custody of kids, with few exceptions, if they're total wastes of space. Women are - and do get custody OFTEN even if they're strung out on drugs.
C. Society does not smile upon a man not working, or going to school even if they DON'T have children. With children, a man is MORE responsible - not less. With women, if a woman is a mother, she is held to a lower standard.
There you have it. It's not a gender thing. I think that all people are inherantly lazy and selfish when born. However, men in our society are taught to be far more self sufficient and self relient than women are. Men are also not given the luxury of using their kids as a scapegoat for being a loser.
Your mileage may vary.
-8sf8 | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/20/2009 10:06:28 AM | Society encourages women to use their children as an excuse to be lazy.
You forgot one:
I can't get a date -- blame the child.
I don't blame my child for anything she is by far the best thing I've ever done with my life. I also don't let her eat crap and am encouraging her to be active and have a healthy lifestyle. By eating right and taking her to the park everyday. Lot of children are overweight because parents let their kids eat crap its not isolated to the single parent.
I've always been self-sufficient and self-reliant as an adult. Only one man has ever supported me and his name is dad.
I agree though some girls are taught not to be self-sufficient and self-reliant they are taught to live on their looks and to use them to get what they can out of men. I was always taught to be independent and as my dad said "never trust a man they only want one thing". | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/20/2009 1:50:09 PM |
Society encourages women to use their children as an excuse to be lazy.
You forgot one:
I can't get a date -- blame the child.
I don't blame my child for anything she is by far the best thing I've ever done with my life. I also don't let her eat crap and am encouraging her to be active and have a healthy lifestyle. By eating right and taking her to the park everyday. Lot of children are overweight because parents let their kids eat crap its not isolated to the single parent.
I've always been self-sufficient and self-reliant as an adult. Only one man has ever supported me and his name is dad.
I agree though some girls are taught not to be self-sufficient and self-reliant they are taught to live on their looks and to use them to get what they can out of men. I was always taught to be independent and as my dad said "never trust a man they only want one thing".
And because you're NOT a loser, you can look at this objectively and see the logic in what I said.
I don't think that men or women really have a leg up on each other when it comes to being decent people.
People are people. We're all humans regardless of our plumbing.
I just think that men in our culture have a predisposition to be more responsible with children in this day an age because of how our society operates, and how our children are taught.
I am speaking in generalities, of course. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/20/2009 4:28:31 PM |
More single moms are welfare recipients than single dads.--In my community (Harlem,NY) 70% of children are born out of wedlock and yes alot of those women are on welfare. Where are the fathers of these children? IN JAIL (at a cost of $30,000 a year to the tax payers) NOT IN JAIL YET (drug dealing, gang banging stealing etc...) UNEMPLOYED (living with thier mothers) If the fathers of all these "loser lazy welfare collecting single mothers" got custody thier broke lazy asses would be on welfare too!
In fact usually single fathers with out of wedlock children are 10X worse as people than the single mothers they impregnated. Here is an example of one from one of the threads on this forum------actually he's a habitual pathlogical lying ex-con/parolee who lied about everything he ever told me from day 1 including his age he told me he was 10 yrs younger than his actual age.....I only found this out as I have done my research on this man for the child support so No, your wrong...as it turns out this man doesn't have the moral values or intentions to ever be married....prime example: He recently got cited by the police for getting caught in a compromising position in his car with a 21 yr old female in a park after the park was closed.....mind you he's 39.....
The first part of you post is about looser men, and women that make poor choices about the men they associate with. IMO women are the socializing factor in society, therefore, if you tolerate the bad behavior of these men, it will continue. If a man enguages in behavior inappropirate and will not have a woman he will tend to cease the poor behavior.
You futher go into an example of a another poor choice. She knew he was a criminal, a lier, and choose to have a child with him. Her fault alone, she should be more careful in the people she dates. I don't believe all single mothers are polyanna's please ladies quit the excuses. I don't include men that simply produce a child a father. There is more to being a dad then shooting sprem into a woman and making contact with her egg.
You should have said
The fact is, however, that more single (CUSTODIAL!!!!)dads are gainfully employed than single moms. For a guy to have custody of his child either the mother has to have major issues in her life or he had a significant socio-economic advantage over his ex and used his power and money to take the children away from thier mother. A man taking custody of the children away from a loving and fit mother can be easily done if he has the $$$$$$. So yes obviously single custodial fathers have an economic advantage over thier ex (thats how he got the kids in the first place)
When I refer to single dad's I mean Custodial fathers. Maybe this an assumption on my part but, I thought it was understood.
I did not have an economic advantage over my ex-wife. She wasn't found to be unfit, I was just the better parent. I point of view she agrees with, mind you I was able to mediate my custody arangement with her. It was done to the advantage of our son. He has both his mother and father in his life. On the day custody was finalized I had a negative balance in my bank account. But that day I was the richest man on earth. My lawyer stank, see my eariler post of me being the primary custodial parent but having to pay support. I was able to win for our son when the lawyer got out of the way, all she did was make me broke. My ex's lawyer was amazed how civil we could be. You will never know the amount of personal hell, and economic ruin Iwent through in the quest to remain a full time dad for our (mine and my ex's) son. There was even a point I was living in my car, and couch to couch....while working full time. So tell your class warfare to someone that is gulliable. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/20/2009 5:28:41 PM | Wow sagman4u did u teach ur daughters that they should feel inferior about themselve because they are the weaker sex?
I'm a single mother I dated single fathers before I had my child. I admired them and respected them but you saying that men are the superior gender? Keep most women in check with reality what you mean is keep a woman in her place don't u?
You saying you have no issues with women where ur post reeks of hatred towards women or well a certain kind of woman.
Yes all us independent educated women well we're all men haters.
I would never say a single dad is inadequate as a father unless he proves himself to be but thanks for showing the same respect towards single mom's. But hey we're all welfare recipients that couldn't keep our legs closed.
Reason women are historically behind is because we were considered "property" we were not considered human-beings. Women have always had an active role in parenting while men were either in the field or away at war. You want to argue history with a history major feel free to message me but wait I'm an inferior woman so I couldn't possibly know anything.
Man how do I ever get up in the morning just being a uesless woman. Thank-u for the reminder why I'm so glad I'm single.  | |
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haha that is funny..
