| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/27/2009 1:16:39 PM |
There is nothing wrong with his ex-wife, in fact she got remarried and had 3 more children, so it wasn't as if he was a single father because he had to be.
Why doesnt she ever see her kid? Did they get in a custody battle in court and she lost? Is she allowed to see her child whenever she wants?
There was no court battle. My husband had his son for the summer, and when he was supposed to give him back to his mother for September, for the school season, she said she couldn't take him yet. Her house was not ready or something like that. My husband told her that he will be keeping his son here and putting him in school here, so that he doesn't miss any of the beginning of school.
The child's mother met another man and got married, and had 3 more children with the new guy. My husband's son did get to go visit for holidays and summers. His mother had moved to another state, 6 to 7 hours away. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/27/2009 4:05:09 PM | Shaniqua,
I just hope that your never in a postition to effect a families life (your's exclued of course). I have no idea why your an angry bitter woman. I would wager that you're in social services. Pitty. I got my son through no maliace, and no I did not pay off his mother. I do resent you even insinuating such a thing, it reflects poorly not on me but you. I will say a prayer for you. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/27/2009 7:37:57 PM | I don't think niether a single mom or dad is better then the other..They both have their own differences and whatnot..I will say as a single father myself,it kind of sucks that it seems some (not all) baby momma's only care for the support check..I do not have any issuses paying support..I raised it 10 dollars in court b/c i felt the first price was not enough..My only headache about it is when I'm compared to the deadbeat dads out there when I'm far from...
I do not live on my own..Yet..lol..I was kinda forced to move back home when me and my daughter's mother split..I worked at Target for 2 years all while supporting my daughter,her mother and paying my own bills (truck payment etc etc..) But honestly,reading some of these comments everyone is leaving some make complete sence and others I think lack sence..But this is the country of freedom of speech..I suppose.. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/27/2009 8:07:00 PM | You sound very angry(personal?)...or do you just hold the same arcane assumption as most in the system that a vagina automatically makes you a capable parent? How about a parent who was given custody of his two biological children(ages-2yrs.2mos. & 7mos.) AND a five yr. old girl her mother had from a previous relationship?Then the mother goes weeks/months without so much as a phone call with intermittent spats of seeming to care for the kids followed by heartache and broken promises. My kids have been with me three years now, and yes, I have a penis! Just give men their due please, there are many great moms who juggle work in and out of the home while insuring their children are raised as happy, well adjusted children. The men who also do this deserve as much credit I think. Lord knows it would help us over the slap in the face we receive while we do our best with none of the support from courts,government run social services for single parent families. or heaven forbid...financial aid from the other parent!!! Single dads will understand the added roadblocks.
But again, if your kids are happy, congratulations to you whether you are a mom,dad or couple. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/29/2009 3:36:46 AM | gadgetdoc ....
Given Futureshocks unwavering position and opinions supporting single men not to mention chastising single parents..especially women...I think she should answer Shaniqua's questions....
Just sayin  | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/29/2009 3:58:33 PM | Lizbeth,
I've crossed swords with FS on her postion before. I say something when I see something wrong. I am sure that FS can answer her own questions. But I do not wish to see such anger and hate directed at anyone. Shaniqua comes off as a biggot, and I don't have to like it. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:44:58 AM | FYI to those who think dating a single dad is nice, in someways it is, in other ways it just sucks for ex: when he has the kids for the weekend and you just come over for a visit and there is no kiss at the door or even how ya doin, we watch cartoons all day or play video games, why not do something that everyone enjoys, (like going outside and enjoying the day together), I understand he only has them twice a month and wants to please them but if you want a woman around (and just not for a boody call) it won't last long. One more thing he is paying child support, ie the more money he makes the more the x can take, (PA) so the more children he has the less money he has. So guess who gets stuck paying the restaurant bill or whatever you 2 want to do. U Ladies on POF look at the whole picture of the man not just his profile pic. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:19:42 PM |
FYI to those who think dating a single dad is nice, in someways it is, in other ways it just sucks for ex: when he has the kids for the weekend and you just come over for a visit and there is no kiss at the door or even how ya doin, we watch cartoons all day or play video games, why not do something that everyone enjoys, (like going outside and enjoying the day together), I understand he only has them twice a month and wants to please them but if you want a woman around (and just not for a boody call) it won't last long. One more thing he is paying child support, ie the more money he makes the more the x can take, (PA) so the more children he has the less money he has. So guess who gets stuck paying the restaurant bill or whatever you 2 want to do. U Ladies on POF look at the whole picture of the man not just his profile pic.
Look at it from the perspective of those children. They only see their own daddy twice a month! They deserve to have their father's undivided attention for those visits. What kind of woman needs a man's attention every single day? What kind of woman can't understand that the man they are dating has children who need him and love him, and who don't get nearly enough of his time and attention as it is? | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:01:13 PM | | Don't forget that nowdays some of os singledads are the fulltime parent, which can change everything you all are talking about. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:21:18 PM | I understand he only has them twice a month and wants to please them but if you want a woman around (and just not for a boody call) it won't last long.
I didn't read all 6 pages of this, but you are aware some of us are CP's, right? Not from some diabolical power struggle payback crap but rather for what it should always be, what's in the childs best interest? Please don't make assumptions about single dads the way *some* others do about single mom's. No one fits into a nice, neat compartmentalized life experience.
When my kids were younger I got the "OMG" because I had *three* Eddie Bauer barcalounger child seats mounted in my truck. I take my kids to the park, I get the "he's a weekend dad" snickers. I take them to the Dr. or Dentist and it's "um, where's mom?" I show up to open house at school and everyone tiptoes around why I'm one of the few men there period, needless to say one that's there by himself.
So, yes, many men are 2x a month guys and the whole visitation situation sucks. It sucks for them and my ex as well. Hell, it sucks for everyone involved. Not many (if any) set out to have this lifestyle.
It's kinda funny how after all of our collective life experiences, the reason I'm here is because I just want some semblance of normalcy in my childrens life *and* mine.
That's it.
Too much to ask?
Single mama's get it. Even though I wasn't the one who fathered children with you, insofar as I am a man, I am there with you in a manner that (most all) non-parents can't be.
/rant off | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/30/2009 8:31:35 PM | I get it now, I think Shaniqua is really Fairmont.
Too bad my magic wand is in the shop and my crystal ball broke before I got married.  | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/30/2009 9:20:28 PM | If he is custodial-- That means he had a nasty custody battle and ripped the children away from thier mother and he rapes her paycheck for $$$. No woman would want to date a guy like that because he might do it to her next. Its cruel to make a loving mother only see her kids twice a month and it's not masculine to take money out of a womans paycheck. Or he got them because she is unfit that means he was stupid enough to have children with a drug addict or a criminal.
Shaniqua, Wow thats alot of hate!
Not every situation is the same. And you have a right to your opinion. I don't need to explain myself. But what the hell.
I had no nasty custody battle and did not rip the kids from their mother and never imagined my life would take this turn. My ex was not the way she is now, when we met. At least I don't think she was. She may have been hiding it all along but there"s nothing I can do about it now. I gave her many chances to be a good mom and partner but she was at the point of no return. she chose to leave and doesn't see her kids by her own choice. I don't think being with someone for years and then they change makes me a stupid person. I think it makes her a stupid person for abandoning her kids, one of which wasn't mine. She was from a previous relationship. I can't make her change, or love her kids. I stood up and took responsiblity of the kids so they wouldn't be lost to the system. I think I am a wonderful father and now mother too. And in your eyes, I am stupid and a loser? You know what, I forgive you for your ignorance. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/30/2009 9:47:43 PM | What is the benefit of dating a single dad? I don't see any.
If he is custodial-- That means he had a nasty custody battle and ripped the children away from thier mother and he rapes her paycheck for $$$. No woman would want to date a guy like that because he might do it to her next. Its cruel to make a loving mother only see her kids twice a month and it's not masculine to take money out of a womans paycheck. Or he got them because she is unfit that means he was stupid enough to have children with a drug addict or a criminal.
If he is non custodial- Well I would feel sorry for him but no way in hell would I date him. Non custodial parents are always hounded for money and I don't know any guys who pay child support that don't have financial problems. Most guys paying child support are too poor to support a new family so why would I bother dating someone like that because they have nothing to offer me.
I think single dads suck as potential dating partners. They have already let thier kids down with thier failed relationship with thier mother. The best thing that a father could do for his children is to have a loving and stable relationship with thier mother. Single dads failed miserably at doing the most important thing that thier kids needed so they're just losers to me.
The part in bold is very true. Actually, if you can get by the way this post is worded, there is a lot of truth in what she is saying. I would just add that the same would have to apply to the women/mothers involved.
Shaniqua, Wow thats alot of hate!
Not every situation is the same. And you have a right to your opinion. I don't need to explain myself. But what the hell.
I had no nasty custody battle and did not rip the kids from their mother and never imagined my life would take this turn. My ex was not the way she is now, when we met. At least I don't think she was. She may have been hiding it all along but there"s nothing I can do about it now. I gave her many chances to be a good mom and partner but she was at the point of no return. she chose to leave and doesn't see her kids by her own choice. I don't think being with someone for years and then they change makes me a stupid person. I think it makes her a stupid person for abandoning her kids, one of which wasn't mine. She was from a previous relationship. I can't make her change, or love her kids. I stood up and took responsiblity of the kids so they wouldn't be lost to the system. I think I am a wonderful father and now mother too. And in your eyes, I am stupid and a loser? You know what, I forgive you for your ignorance.
It is shocking that a woman would, out of the blue, after having that many children especially, just decide to abandon her family.
Are you sure, though, that the reason you took your children was so that they wouldn't be lost to the system? Didn't you take them because you are their father, and that is what a father does? | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/30/2009 10:14:27 PM | | Of course I have them (not took) because I love them with all my heart. And will do anything to keep them happy and health. What I was trying to say was that if I wasn't there for them they would be gone. I was a good provider and lover , etc. but she had other ideas I guess. But my point was that being a single dad does not make me stupid or a loser or a bad partner in the future. In fact I think it is a good thing, It is obvious that when I commit to something I'm going to make the best of it. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/30/2009 10:25:40 PM |
Of course I have them (not took) because I love them with all my heart. And will do anything to keep them happy and health. What I was trying to say was that if I wasn't there for them they would be gone. I was a good provider and lover , etc. but she had other ideas I guess. But my point was that being a single dad does not make me stupid or a loser or a bad partner in the future. In fact I think it is a good thing, It is obvious that when I commit to something I'm going to make the best of it.
Ok, I get it now. I totally agree with you, also. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/31/2009 7:32:43 AM | (This is in response to Shaniqua's ((Fairmont or whomever you're pretending to be these days)) vile sweeping brush stroke of all single dad's)
I, too had a situation where my childrens Mother didn't exhibit any aberrant behavior until 12 years of being together and 5 years of marriage (we divorced after 7 years). Yes, we did try counseling, and tried to 'work it out' but the bottom line was that it had evolved into something poisonous for everyone, primarily our children.
I receive a pittance of $360/month from her (as low as I could set it and still be legal). Out of that I cover their health expenses 100% and I'm currently owed $8,000 for the last 5 years in additional medical bills that I'll never see. To add insult to injury, not once in the 5 years since the divorce has she 'been able to take them' during spring break and summer vacation as was stipulated in the consent final judgement. Hell, 10 months of the year those monies have to be saved for summer camp that's $3,000 for *partial* summer *day* camp.
So...who ripped what from whom for financial gain or punishment? Actions speak louder than words & your words are shed like water off a duck.
Anyway, no ones situation is the same. Even though there are issues in my life, they come about maybe once a year then we work it out amicably in the best interest of all involved. No drama here, I've been trying to 'get my Zen on' for a long time now. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/31/2009 7:52:09 AM |
To add insult to injury, not once in the 5 years since the divorce has she 'been able to take them' during spring break and summer vacation as was stipulated in the consent final judgement.
So she never sees her children? What happened to her that made her like this? It is astonishing that a mother has no interest in seeing her own children, to me at least. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/31/2009 8:26:08 AM | | When my kids momhad unsupervised she wouldn't come and then showed up in court on drugs, now she only gets supervised but doesn't see them. the kids want to see her and tell her on the phone but she still hasn't seen them in about 2 months. personally I don't care to see her but have no problem with the kids seeing her. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/31/2009 8:38:41 AM | | But back to the topic. I don't really see any "benefit" of dating a single dad or mom for that matter. We are no better or worse than anyone else. Having kids doesn't nessecerily (oo thats not right, lol) mean they are family oriented or even likes kids just means they have them. Doesn't means they have higher education, job, house or any of that. They probably do, but partners without kids, can be family orient, with jobs, cars, education, love kids, etc. So I don't see the benefit. Oh you can be apart of a family and have kids without giving birth, there's the benefit. We are just as awesome as everyone else! | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/31/2009 6:39:12 PM | | If anyone is getting upset by shaniqua777's rants, just have a look at her profile and you'll probably come to find that whatever spews out of the kids mouth really doesn't matter. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/31/2009 8:20:19 PM | I hate to do it but I have to agree with you.
I am a single mom who happens to fit all five of your criteria, but in all honesty I find myself in the minority category.
I have always had a job, post-secondary education (and currently enrolled in more classes), had my own place, vehicle and totally family oriented.
But yes I get frustrated because society makes an assumption about me. However I get tired of hearing from other single moms "how do you do it".
Honestly I just get off my ass and do it, and that's how I usually respond.
In 5 years of my child playing hockey I have never missed a game. I am the parent all the kids know, I have taken van loads of kids to the beach, the movies etc. We spend quality time with family and friends.
I get so sick of woman who sit and mope.............get over yourself and get out there.
Having said that most men shy away when they realize I am a single mother. I am so tired of this reaction. Not all of us sit on our asses and complain | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/31/2009 10:58:16 PM |
So she never sees her children? What happened to her that made her like this? It is astonishing that a mother has no interest in seeing her own children, to me at least.
It's not a supposed lack of interest, but rather a compelling feigned inability or real desire to make accomodations for those periods of time. She moved 280 miles away (another 160 miles from a previous move)
I meet her 1/2 way once a month, that way it's less of a hardship with respect to the traveling distance -v- every other week.
The whys are not for me to answer.
Actions speak louder than words.
We're off topic. | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:50:01 AM | i would love to date a single dad
the reasons are
he is responsible...not partying all the time
more sensitive
more maturea
more family oriented
has time for them
but also has time for you
they will go to their mother
if not maybe a grandparent
caring towards you and your children
you do not hae to teach him to be a dad
he will not be living with you
he can cook you a meal
does heis own laundry, cleans and shops
wowo what a deal...where are they?
please apply to me | |
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| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 9/5/2009 7:26:44 AM | Response to post 134. I've been offline for a few days so, I haven't had a chance to respond. As another poster stated not all fathers are part-time. I have full-time custody for my son. However, you stated that single dads are broke. I will admit when I made the transition it took a while to adjust my spending habits, but I now have enough savings to rent a better home in the country, and replace the computer which was stolen from me, while I was out of state visiting family. As far a picking up the check, on the first date at least I pick up the bill. What happens on the following dates depends on the type of woman I am seeing.
As far as being the custodial parent, and not letting mom see her children or weekend mom; it depends on the agreement. I have split custody, our son gets to see his mother everyday less the weekends. Me having him the entire weekend was her choice, yet at anytime she can see him during the weekend. Our custody was very bitter, but it is how you move forward after everything is settled. I can honestly say that get along great and have a health friendship for our son.
I have laundry, homework, and cleaning to do, so you'll have to excuse me. | |
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