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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/18/2009 9:55:17 AM | 5 kids all under the age of ten? That is a large family by anyone's standards. It is not the maturity of the women that is making them run, it is the sheer volume of mouths to feed and work brought on by raising 5 children.
If a 21 year old single woman cannot keep up with your high flying model life style then where exactly do your 5 babies fit into it? What twenty something could even consider marriage and a family with a man that has to be already tapped financially by his current offspring? Females do have family plans and goals of their own and supporting another womans kids is usually not high up on the list.
I know a Cardio-Thorasic Sugeon with 6 kids that has told me he hopes for scholarships and loans for his kids education because he knows he will never be able to swing that many college educations. He probably earns 500k a year at least. He told me his grocery bill alone is over $250 a week.
My suggestion is start your profile with "Don't Worry I've had a Vasectomy" | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/18/2009 12:31:22 PM | | Presumptions will never get you nowhere on that remark. Actually i very well support my kids with child support,weekend time ( since i work a 4 x 12 schedule) + morning and night classes during the week. Ever since i graduated with one of my degrees , i actually have more time on my hands now so i do have 3 days open a week to do as i wish now. My children will always come first and i make plenty enough money to not be "tapped out" as i am not a trailer trash person with a 7$ an hour job :) | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/18/2009 12:40:30 PM | Another dillusinal type on here. With an accounting job in a small town the OP believes he makes enough to support his kids. We are not talking about Harvard graduate who is CPA and works in NY.
On your salary OP you are not going to support 5 kids. Period. YOu are unresponsible in terms of reproduction. 1-2 is good in your position.
So what you make with associate in accounting ina small town in FL? 12-16-20?????? You are ot telling us it is much more than that. Still not enough for 5 little kids. | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/18/2009 1:54:18 PM |
Presumptions will never get you nowhere on that remark. Actually i very well support my kids with child support,weekend time ( since i work a 4 x 12 schedule) + morning and night classes during the week. Ever since i graduated with one of my degrees , i actually have more time on my hands now so i do have 3 days open a week to do as i wish now. My children will always come first and i make plenty enough money to not be "tapped out" as i am not a trailer trash person with a 7$ an hour job :)
I apologize. I thought you said you were in college.
my main focus is my college and they accept that. | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/18/2009 10:07:53 PM | My apologies futureshock, I felt that I am getting attacked at this point on this post. Yes, I am double majoring right now and just graduated with 1 degree already and 6 months with my other one for now. Sometimes things happen for a reason as what I believe in and you cannot force another to keep the relationship/marriage especially for the kids! Any recommendations then since obviously the "online scene" may be too much for me for what i am looking for?I have only been in 2 relationships in 14 years so i kinda missed the growing up stages , lol :) Thanks all for the replys and concerns!  | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/20/2009 9:12:20 AM | Since I am a single mom of only Two and I hear you say travel modeling and all that it tells me you cant be very involved with your kids so that would be more of an issue than the fact that you have 5 kids,
I mean how can you support them financially and all that going to school and yeah the years you were married and her being married again really don't add up ! | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/20/2009 9:18:19 AM | Oh and by the way making 7$ an hour doesn't make you trailer trash I make more than that but I have friends who dont and atleast they try,
Really it sounds like you have it all togather but I really wonder if you should just consider not dating for awhile with School, work and all that I don't see how you have time after your kids for a woman, I have virtually given up on dating because it isn't fair to another individual to expect them to squeez around my very hectic schedule | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/20/2009 9:21:13 AM |
Oh and by the way making 7$ an hour doesn't make you trailer trash I make more than that but I have friends who dont and atleast they try,
Really it sounds like you have it all togather but I really wonder if you should just consider not dating for awhile with School, work and all that I don't see how you have time after your kids for a woman, I have virtually given up on dating because it isn't fair to another individual to expect them to squeez around my very hectic schedule
I don't think it's just making minimum wage that makes a person trailer trash. It is making only minimum wage and having a lot of kids. | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/20/2009 9:35:36 AM | I know exactly how you feel, I also have 5 children, it says so on my profile. I'm sure a lot of people don't bother reading profiles though, as when I tell people about my children I am lucky to hear from them again!
As far as I'm concerned my children are not baggage, they are part of me and who I am, and if that is too much for anyone then I am better off staying single!
Send me a message if you'd like to chat x | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/20/2009 11:52:03 AM |
4 x 12 hour shifts, morning and evening classes and 5 kids on the weekend? When exactly do you expect to date?
Plenty of time to date , i am very picky and when i do actually date for a long term relationship it winds up turning into a relationship for a while but for some reason the woman gets "too comfortable" and decides to quit there job and expect me to support them or have nomore goals for some reason! I am just in the wrong scene and am changing that, this post has made a huge difference in alot of things for the past week. | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/20/2009 11:55:37 AM |
I'm not going to mince words.
In my opinion, having 5 kids before being really, really financially well off and already having a fantastic education is really, really stupid.
Crying about it is not going to change anything.
You seriously think i am crying about my advancement in my life on this forum after reading your profile? Especially you not even being a father? Your on the wrong page of the whole book brotha! | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:23:13 PM | Man I so know how you feel. I was about to start the same topic for myself. I've got the same problem. I have two kids from my divorce 2 years ago and then 3 kids from a 8 year relationship that was before I got married. I do talk about my kids alot and I want people to know I have the kids. But I haven't found anyone that is will to give things a try or even get to know me as a person. I don't want anyone to take care of my kids with any money or anything that they don't want to do. I've been single for almost two years now and not one single date. I know I don't have a normal income but I do pay all of my bills and take care of two of my kids all the time. But what happened to the woman that want a nice guy that they can trust. I think sometimes that being single might be the best thing cause of all the free time that can be spent with the kids and not having to worry about what someone thinks. But at the same time life can be lonely.
Just gotta give it time and maybe the right one will come along. | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/20/2009 3:48:12 PM | | OP I agree that 5 kids is too many. You need to give kids a quality life and I do not mean them spoiled. Things such as education for example.Your post dosn't come across to me as you are really well off evn if I am sure you have a job and pay your bills. Kids get more expensive when they become teens. I indeed believe many ladies will frick out with 5 little ones. | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/20/2009 5:56:08 PM |
Man I so know how you feel. I was about to start the same topic for myself. I've got the same problem. I have two kids from my divorce 2 years ago and then 3 kids from a 8 year relationship that was before I got married. I do talk about my kids alot and I want people to know I have the kids. But I haven't found anyone that is will to give things a try or even get to know me as a person. I don't want anyone to take care of my kids with any money or anything that they don't want to do. I've been single for almost two years now and not one single date. I know I don't have a normal income but I do pay all of my bills and take care of two of my kids all the time. But what happened to the woman that want a nice guy that they can trust. I think sometimes that being single might be the best thing cause of all the free time that can be spent with the kids and not having to worry about what someone thinks. But at the same time life can be lonely.
Just gotta give it time and maybe the right one will come along.
Your absolutly correct - i live 2 lives and if its not the one that you want, make the other one that your doing the one that you can be content with. Dont let anyone hold you down! | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:03:49 PM |
OP I agree that 5 kids is too many. You need to give kids a quality life and I do not mean them spoiled. Things such as education for example.Your post dosn't come across to me as you are really well off evn if I am sure you have a job and pay your bills. Kids get more expensive when they become teens. I indeed believe many ladies will frick out with 5 little ones. Well you are correct to an extent, maybe to some people even 2 kids are too many but to each there own ! Trust me i am well off, in alot of aspects... I just decided to vent to a single world for opinions, thats all. Ex wife with 8 kids is doing just as well as me and there all growing up fine, i guess you just have to learn to balance your energy correctly to do what is right! Education? Thats taken care of already for mine too, i have no other worries or rants about anything else except the womans aspect on this. My finances are 100% in line and have been for 4 years for them and my oldest is about to be 11! | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/20/2009 7:22:45 PM | | Living two lives is hard. I've been lucky and my girls with the ex-girlfriend are very helpful when I have all 5 of them together. The ex's are a different story. I know I wish things can be different but it wasn't my fault things are like this. I believe in a long term relationship that's how the kids are here. But this just means that the right one hasn't come along yet. I'm hoping that maybe if I don't look they will find me. But it still doesn't answer the question. Why is it so hard to find someone that doesn't mind kids? Or someone that will realize that it's a part of a big package. Heck even dating someone for a long time is better then not having anyone at all. Everyone needs adult time and not just kid time. Someone to go out with when the kids are away. | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/20/2009 9:16:35 PM |
Living two lives is hard. I've been lucky and my girls with the ex-girlfriend are very helpful when I have all 5 of them together. The ex's are a different story. I know I wish things can be different but it wasn't my fault things are like this. I believe in a long term relationship that's how the kids are here. But this just means that the right one hasn't come along yet. I'm hoping that maybe if I don't look they will find me. But it still doesn't answer the question. Why is it so hard to find someone that doesn't mind kids? Or someone that will realize that it's a part of a big package. Heck even dating someone for a long time is better then not having anyone at all. Everyone needs adult time and not just kid time. Someone to go out with when the kids are away.
I tried the sitting back phase and waiting and trust me it doesnt work too well, theres alot of sharks out there with good game to get "the one" before she comes to you. There ARE alot of woman out there that realize its part of the package, it just takes time unfortunatly. Presumibly giving us time to get to know ourselfs better actually,its getting better for me too honestly now from this! Day by day!!  | |
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| Is having 5 kids from a divorce a huge overkill to get back into the serious dating scene?
Posted: 8/20/2009 10:12:37 PM | I think that nearly everybody who has either dated or been in a relationship with someone thqat has kids, ot considered it at least, fully realizes that it is a package.
It is whether someone WANTS that whole package, or not.
Its not hard to find someone who minds kids, but surely you realize you have MORE kids than the average single parent. Were not talking 1,2, or even 3 lil' ones here, its 5.
And surely there will be a lady out there who doesnt mind 5 kids, and she will be brought to you when the time is right.
BTW,are you spending time with these 5 kids? My 2 leave me plum exhausted, working, going to school, and traveling all at the same time, psshh i'd rather sleep or get laid during what very little free time i have. | |
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