| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:28:23 AM | | OMG...BJ with a condom?? Sooo romantic....this should really bond you two...give you those special feeling you've been missing back....lol...might as well tell her throw some peanut butter on there too.....! | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:35:42 AM |
OMG...BJ with a condom?? Sooo romantic....this should really bond you two...give you those special feeling you've been missing back....lol...might as well tell her throw some peanut butter on there too.....!
Lol! 
...and considering she's never had sex before I'm sure it would uncomfortable for all involved. | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:49:40 AM |
Oh no she didn't!!! ROLMBO! That's horrible (and disgusting when you think about it).
That was a worse case scenario from a guy I actually knew. He said it took him years to get the marriage annulled because it would have brought "disgrace" on the family.
He was american and she was filipino. Her family was almost like royalty in their district.
I work with one guy that didn't sleep with his wife for over 5 years. I've worked with this guy nearly 10 years. Nicest guy on the planet. Met his wife once and I thought she was extremely creepy.
They had separate bedrooms. They stayed together for the kids. She got so crazy, he finally said enough and divorced her. She fought tooth and nail to screw him for everything he had. He has re-married and he said he would never have a marriage like his first one ever again.
A friend of a friend (male) was in an abusive relationship with this one woman and he didn't have sex with her for over 10 years. they were married for 18 years, but the last ten years were sheer hell for him. He tried counseling, doing everything he could to save the marriage. She didn't work, didn't maintain the household, was verbally abusive to him. He said, when she began to throw things, like frying pans, he was done.
There is a TV show called "Weddings From Hell" over here in the UK.
One story that comes to mind is one that is similar to the OP situation.
On the wedding night, the bride wanted to spend the night alone and the next day she disappeared. The groom was clueless on what had happened.
These are all extreme cases, but 20 years in the military and 10 years as an adult educator, I seen and heard a lot of bad relationships.
I'm not really having much hope for yours, OP
Once again, think VERY carefully on what you are doing. Can you imagine the next 50+ years being with this woman? | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 10:35:09 AM |
So, I was with her most of the day today, we had a BLAST as always. I was somewhat distracted as always and she kept asking me what it is which is keeping me from being 100% myself. Although I didn't really want to get back into this, I did bring the topic up and this time, I got a little mad. Maybe I was angry at myself, the situation, her, I dont know. After an hour of talk, with different emotional heights, apparently I am getting a BJ tomorrow with a condom, as a start. She's still not too sure about doing the actual deed, but has said she's willing to start from here. I am actually somewhat relaxed, atleast I see some light of hope. The story has not ended, but its taking a turn, in a good direction, thanks to all of you. I am not sure where I go from here, but I will let you know. Let me know what you guys think.
Good luck! Understand what you want for your life. Take things slowly and don't give her so much in pain. Probably, she is really the one who deserves your truly love and care! | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:26:29 AM | | OP, tread carefully. Her giving you a BJ because you're getting mad is probably NOT going to make her any more receptive to sex. She's likely to feel badgered into it, like you're laying down ultimatums. She clearly has real issues with sex that she needs to work out, and she need to be the one to decide to do that. While this situation is frustrating, pushing her into sexual activity she's not ready for isn't going to be healthy for anyone, let alone the relationship. You want her to WANT to be sexual with you, right? | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:40:30 AM |
After an hour of talk, with different emotional heights, apparently I am getting a BJ tomorrow with a condom, as a start.
she is giving you a BJ with a condom?
Her giving you a BJ because you're getting mad is probably...
I didn't understand that. Now I learned... | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:08:33 PM | | What more do you need to know! Two options Put out or get out! You are supposed to be in love. | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:34:23 PM | Q: Can I see myself with her for next 50 years?
A: No. But I really do love her and the last 4 years we've spent together have been wonderful (minus the sex).
Q: Does she know you are clean?
A: Yes, she knows I am absolutely clean, and she's not worried about contracting something from me.
Update: Had a great day with her. She had to rush home suddenly. No BJ. | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:47:56 PM |
Q: Can I see myself with her for next 50 years?
A: No.
Then why did you say you are ready to marry her?
...she's not worried about contracting something from me.
Then what would be the point of a condom for oral sex?
Though the second question clearly is moot - it's never going to happen.
Have you talked to her about seeking therapy? | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:53:22 PM | | Helen...he's not ready to marry her....she's nothing more to him than a conquest...I'd even be willing to bet there have been "others" on the side....he's way too insensitive to have waited all these years....he's full of b.s...not to mention the fact he states he doesn't see himself being with her in the next 50 years....wow....such a troll post...!! | |
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ceoil
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Joined: 6/12/2009
Msg: 162 | |
| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:24:28 PM | You dont deserve her and she doesnt deserve you... who would want to be with a man dreaming of other women. sex or no sex.
how old are you really? 12? dont you know how to use your right (or left?) hand or what.... | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:27:52 PM |
Update: Had a great day with her. She had to rush home suddenly. No BJ.
Rush home suddenly. Uh huh.
Q: Can I see myself with her for next 50 years?
A: No. But I really do love her and the last 4 years we've spent together have been wonderful (minus the sex).
I honestly don't know who has the worse issues now.
I really don't know why you are with this woman if you aren't planning to spend the rest of your life with her. | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:32:34 PM | | Your awesome for waiting,,,,,I have been trying soooo hard to find a guy that will respect my chose to wait until marriage. But two years,,,wow that is a tough spot. But you said 'when' she is not giving you any? How can you get fed up with no sex, when she gives sex sometimes? If I am reading it wrong, and you mean she never does, and she wants another two years I would say, tell her you two canget married and do college also. Many people so that however, I get why she wants you to wait, because she doesn not want the beginning of your lives togther to be consumed with work and school. I think you should get married sooner then two years but, if you wait for two years you are probablly the best guy ever. | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:37:48 PM | OMG...BJ with a condom?? Sooo romantic....this should really bond you two...give you those special feeling you've been missing back....lol...might as well tell her throw some peanut butter on there too.....!
Well last time I checked b.j were kinda a thing prostitutes originally did, so uhh I think that is pretty giving and why not use a condom, it is good she is not a dirty girl. And put peanut butter on it...okay. I get why he is with someone who wants to wait she actually has self respect, convictions and a sence of responsibility to God, not just some cult like attitude to religion but real convictions....Good men like good woman. | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:42:40 PM | Oh no she didn't!!! ROLMBO! That's horrible (and disgusting when you think about it).
"Oh no she didn't....can we say played out line? Yah it is disgusting when some people think about it.....maybe you should just not think, that way we can be saved from the complete destruction of a culture that took millions of years to erect, just so someone with lines like "oh no she didn't", "don't even go there", and "you go girl" can feel intellegent. Oh wait I said 'erect'...ewwwwwwwwwww | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:50:07 PM | | Hey on second thought after reading you want to marry but in 50 years you dont want to be with her...........just leave her alone. You don't deserve her. You should go find another female. I would dump you! | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:51:23 PM |
Q: Can I see myself with her for next 50 years?
A: No. Then why did you say you are ready to marry her?
Seconded. OP, what are you doing with this girl? You might love her, but you asked her to marry her yet you don't see yourself with her for the next 50 years? Now I'm confused.
...she's not worried about contracting something from me. Then what would be the point of a condom for oral sex?
I'm thinking she probably sees genitals as inherently "dirty", and the condom would give her some sense of distance from them.
Well last time I checked b.j were kinda a thing prostitutes originally did, so uhh I think that is pretty giving and why not use a condom, it is good she is not a dirty girl.
Blow jobs are generally pretty standard these days. And it's a moot point--if she's not getting paid, she's not a prostitute, right? So why the value judgments? | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 2:58:37 PM | | If you are going to sleep with her and you don't plan on marrying her, you are an absolute slug. | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 3:34:01 PM | Ok. Got to clear something.
I said I don't see myself with her in 5o years, reason being, I don't think I'd be around that long because of stress lol. There is alot of stress. We fight alot, argue alot, mostly its about, "why were you talking to nice to that waitress?".. "who is that person calling you or texting you".. "why are you not text messaging me every 10 minutes" type of things. So yeah, I sort of blabbered out that line about not seeing myself with her for next 50 years, b/c its very stressful at times and I don't think my heart will be healthy that long lol.
Btw, about 6 months ago, she was very insecure and was questioning "our relationship" in terms of, how serious I was with her after 3.5 years. Soon, a few weeks after that instant, I proposed to her, put a rock on her finger. This is where I really had the most frustration begun, as now I was engaged to this girl and yet, nothing physical. She has not even told her family about the engagement because she says although its just what she wanted in life, she can't tell her family about this yet as she's still in school. She wouldn't let me tell my parents about this either. So to all of you who keep saying I am just playing with her and why I have not proposed, well, I have. I think this frustration just spiked especially after the engagement. Last 6 months have been alot more difficult than the 3.5 years before that. | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 3:47:35 PM | Wow, your age is really shining through here...or should I say maturity level...??
Uh...huh...you meant you wouldn't be around in 50 years....you knew exactly what she meant by that....if not then again it shows your age....
Here you go again, blaming her...typical....she's the reason for all the arguing...takes two my dear....and if it's all over being intimate...well again...the maturity factor...!! Do us all a favor, grow up and get the heck out of the relationship.... She obviously has trust issues with you...and hmmm...wonder why?? | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 5:17:24 PM |
OP, tread carefully. Her giving you a BJ because you're getting mad is probably NOT going to make her any more receptive to sex. She's likely to feel badgered into it, like you're laying down ultimatums. She clearly has real issues with sex that she needs to work out, and she need to be the one to decide to do that. While this situation is frustrating, pushing her into sexual activity she's not ready for isn't going to be healthy for anyone, let alone the relationship. You want her to WANT to be sexual with you, right?
Good stuff. | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 5:22:33 PM | Wow, your age is really shining through here...or should I say maturity level...??
Uh...huh...you meant you wouldn't be around in 50 years....you knew exactly what she meant by that....if not then again it shows your age....
Here you go again, blaming her...typical....she's the reason for all the arguing...takes two my dear....and if it's all over being intimate...well again...the maturity factor...!! Do us all a favor, grow up and get the heck out of the relationship.... She obviously has trust issues with you...and hmmm...wonder why??
+1 | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 5:53:08 PM | ask her if she'd buy a car without taking it for a test drive?
like holy sh*t is she a robot or like has a d*ck that u dont know about??
and dude, if she can go 4 years without then do u realy wanna marry her? like hello can u say only special occasion sex? | |
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| Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/23/2009 6:10:19 PM | Sexual compatibility is VERY important to a healthy and loving relationship. To go four years without sex (and denying sex) suggests that she has no libido. It's highly unlikely that she will be much interested in sex after marriage.
It's rare for me to advise "break up", but in your situation, break up with her. It is particularly worrisome that she laughs at you over the matter. That sounds mean and controlling. Tell her you'll check her out when her two years are up.
In the meantime I hope you find a loving and sensual partner. | |
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