| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/19/2009 7:42:30 PM | | so yes it is harder in the 30's, but maybe i shouldn't be so picky, but why settle for less than i want? i'm older wiser-i hope- and know what i want out of a relationship. though sometimes i think that maybe i'm better off single..... | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/20/2009 10:45:48 PM | I don't think it is harder. I think people just change. Hell I hope I have learned something and changed some since I was 20.
Personally I find dating much easier these days. Getting to the relationship seems to be the bigger challenge. I know in my 20s it was just the opposite. Maybe when I am 40 it will all balance out.  | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/20/2009 11:27:33 PM | I do think it's much harder. I'm 38, been married once, and have no children. Not only is it harder to meet people at this age because of less social opportunity, I find that the ones I do meet I don't want to date.
In your 30s you face a lot more obstacles. I find most single women in our age range are also mothers, which in itself isn't a problem. It's the fathers and the drama they bring to the mother's and who ever they date lives that turns me off. Quite a few of the women I run across out there also have more than one father to deal with, doubling the drama.
I'm a lot more selective in my 30s than I was in my 20s. I expect a lot more as far as career, finances, future plans, etc from women I'd potentially date. In your 20s, it's all about looks, having fun, living for today. In your 30s you not only need to live for today, you need to be thinking about tomorrow. Most of us now have more responsibility. A mortgage, a competative career, aging parents, a retirement to plan for etc. When you reach this stage you don't need to put yourself in a relationship with someone who doesn't have their life together. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/21/2009 12:51:24 AM | To me in my 20 I think I looked for the things I like or wanted in the person and now its tilted more into the things I don't want or cannot accept. Yes experience teaches us a lot about our preferences but it also prepares us for the things that are just not acceptable in a person.  | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/21/2009 4:44:45 PM | "Men are bitter and angry at women cause all men think that women are after something, like there wallet, or just out for free dinners...."
Well it does'nt help that there is a "sugardaddies" ad on this site boasting 80% women are registered to it. LOL
Anyway, Yes it's tougher. My friends are now married and some with kids so going out with them is a rare experience. I also find now I'm getting many single moms looking at my profile and though I have tried that road, it's just something I'm not interested in. I also find that womens expectations are practically astronomical. Also does'nt help with all the competition on here making things work against you.
Ah well back to  | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/21/2009 5:05:53 PM | Yeah dating in your 40's isn't much fun. I am just about to turn 41 and you can see reactions from most women when you tell them how old you are. Most women wonder what is wrong with you, especially when you have never been married and have no kids. You feel too old to date young women, too young to date older women, and women your age want nothing to do with you.
It is a strange age to find a date because the expectations placed on you are very high: You should have a house, car, career high income, world traveler, post graduate degree, know your wines, enjoy fine dinning, fix anything, build anything, be physically fit, appreciate art, climbed at least one mountain, kayak owner, have your hair, perfect teeth, ride motorcycles, own a boat, speak a foreign language, own the right clothes, go to black-tie events, go to blue jean events, play a musical instrument, non-smoker but knows cigars, and many more I am forgetting. Oh yeah have a perfect memory. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/22/2009 12:03:38 PM | "Women are bitter and angry at men in general because of the bad choices they have made for fathers of their children.."
Give that man a cigar. While this is isn't every woman, there are plenty of them here.
If I had a nickel for every use of the words "sperm donor" "deadbeat" and "loser" I could go sign up on sugardaddy.com!
I also agree with message 7. The funny thing is how pissed SOME of the women her get over this statement. Like the first statement, I guess the truth hits a little close to home. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/22/2009 1:17:23 PM | | I'm 33 now and soon to be divorced of 10 years....so I wouldn't know much about mid-to-late 20's, but I can say online dating is absolutely brutal. Real life is much easier, just not as many fish in the sea so to speak (don't exactly run into a lot of 'fish' through the week). | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/22/2009 1:24:02 PM | It's harder now, cause of the men don't want the kids around.
I still look the same as I did in my 20s, but now men would rather have a 20 yr old than a near 40 yr old. 20 yr olds are still young a bit naive to the BS. Women my age can see it. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/22/2009 1:59:05 PM | I think it is harder as experience has taught us to set our standards higher. Ask anybody on here if they have children from an ex-partner, if they met that person today, whether or not they would go out with them or even have children with them - the answer would be a resounding NO!
I think I am much better as a person now that I was then, in fact, I wish I were a guy and had the chance to meet me now. WOW, that would be fireworks, lots of laughs and gnd having a permanent smiles. Haha | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/22/2009 2:56:06 PM |
and it seems that even a decision as simple as whether to date an individual or not, has become a major vetting process.
indeed. but that is a natural consequence of experience. think of the hobbies, interests, sports that you do. think about how you approached them in the beginning. think about how you approach them now. in the beginning, there is a more casual, less formal and strict mindset about the activity. one does not spend much time tinkering with details or looking too far ahead into the future.
dating is an activity no different than any other. for some people over 30, they have probably been dating for 15+ years. they have a well established process to bring to the table--a groove, a set of rules, a bunch of experiences--that takes away the spontaneous and casual elements from early dating life.
it takes effort-perhaps a lot--to remain forever in the 'beginning stage' of something. all, IMHO, of course. :)
-poot | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/22/2009 3:38:20 PM | | Ladies, please don’t blame it all on men for not wanting to date single moms. I did. I mean a lot and often. They were always way too absorbed by their kids and never really had time for anything else. I was always number 3,4 or 5 in their lives. Ok fair enough. It did get evolved in relationships. Most my exes were single moms. Every Sunday night, we fought over the stupid ex calling because he has no gas to bring the kid back and I was the one who had to drive hours to get them. How often the nasty teenager would tell me to **** off and I would set them back straight just for the mom to say; HEY this is NOT your kid! And yes, this was in my own home! And yes, I was always the one who had to go to school for emergency “parent”, meeting in order to bail the kid out of trouble. I always got to take these kids like my own. Once I got dumped by their mom after years, how often do you think I heard from the kids after? How about never? Ok, they were NOT my kids! Finally, if the dad is deceased and if the mom has a low income. If we live common law for years and dump me. Who keeps the house? And everything in it? You guessed it! Been there 3 times already! Now, what about alimony support? Oh interesting! All the sudden the kids are finally mine! The morale of this story; please think twice before posting as you may not have all the data before making a judgement! | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/22/2009 6:00:50 PM | | I have found that since settling into a solid career and putting my priorities in order that dating has become more challenging. Now days I look for someone who is more laid back and wants to move through life a little slower rather than who wants to party all the time living life in the fast lane. Perhaps I'm setting the bar a little higher than it should be and that is why dating has become more challenging. Higher being that I'm being too selective. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/23/2009 4:50:11 AM |
Of course, you have guys like me who have never been married, no kids and get looked down upon cause there is something wrong with me cause I have never been married...go figure...
I could say the same thing...well except that I'm a chick. 
Some people make me feel like I'm abnormal for never being married or having children. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/23/2009 7:09:51 AM |
Yeah dating in your 40's isn't much fun. I am just about to turn 41 and you can see reactions from most women when you tell them how old you are. Most women wonder what is wrong with you, especially when you have never been married and have no kids. You feel too old to date young women, too young to date older women, and women your age want nothing to do with you.
It is a strange age to find a date because the expectations placed on you are very high: You should have a house, car, career high income, world traveler, post graduate degree, know your wines, enjoy fine dinning, fix anything, build anything, be physically fit, appreciate art, climbed at least one mountain, kayak owner, have your hair, perfect teeth, ride motorcycles, own a boat, speak a foreign language, own the right clothes, go to black-tie events, go to blue jean events, play a musical instrument, non-smoker but knows cigars, and many more I am forgetting. Oh yeah have a perfect memory.
I think this is about the best I've ever seen it all summed up. Keeping in mind the differences of expectation levels between women who are desireable and those who are not. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/23/2009 7:23:08 AM | Yes, it is more difficult
mainly because:
1-emo baggage
2-daily ruts
3-self perception
I think those who think they have no baggage are self deluded. You call it 'better discernment' or 'bs/game spotting' if you like, but the truth is there have to be some games for attraction & attachement to take place.
Why else would so many people be taken in by the players? Being played is universal, for both men & women...it happens when someone who has a better understanding/intuition of how people are attracted & form attachements takes advantage of those who don't.
The baggage part comes from having a negative reaction to something that is necesary for things to develop. I no longer try to form deeper attachements, which seems to be a deal breaker for women; and conversely when I see a woman pushing for more of a comitment from me (whether they are conciously doing so or not) I'm done.
They see a player, & I see an emotional leach (overdramatization, but you get the point)
Our daily ruts are another major draw back. Ever notice how you seem to see the e3xact same people at the exact times and places? Consequence of doing everything by schedule is a severe lack of new faces. If you throw in the statistic that there is like on average of only 7 unattached women per square mile in our age group and you can see how this can be quite the delema.
You'd be surprised (or maebe not) how important your self worth is in attr5acting women. I've only had trouble with women a handful of times in my life. All directly relating to how confident & or needy I was.
To sum it up, the more confidant and nonseeking you are, the more attractive you become (it really isn't bout looks with women) to them.
To sum it up...I'm not surprised to see that so many people aren't connecting...I'm surprised to see people connecting at all anymore. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/23/2009 7:29:36 AM |
There has been MANY threads started by men who think women are taking them for free dinners. I have been on those same threads telling them to stop whining and pay for the first date. Paying for the first date is what a MAN does. Im sure I have been taken many of times and didnt even know it. That is on ME not realizing that maybe she wasnt my type anyway....
There aren't many women like this. I think I've only gone through it once. I took this woman out twice. I could tell on the second date that she wasn't interested so a day or so after the date I contacted her and thanked her for letting me get to know her. I said that "I could tell that there really wasn't much of a connection between the two of us but that I still had fun." She got pissed off at me and said "you know, I've never had a guy dump me before. I was going to tell you that I wasn't interested in you after you took me out again. I guess you aren't going to give me that chance...good bye."
Next to the text dumping I got after a first date I thought that was probably the second worst response I have ever got from a woman. oh well...live and learn. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 8/23/2009 10:16:09 AM | I have to say that dating has never been easier in my opinion. I am not sure if it's because of my advanced age and wisdom that I don't feel the pressure to "hit it off" with whoever I meet, or because I am much more complete of a person at 42 than say in my late 20's--the last time I was single.
Everything has been better! | |
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