| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/25/2009 6:47:24 AM | yes i think you are right.
it seemed to me that as soon as i turned 30 new peoples expectations of me changed suddenly i'm supposed to have it all figured out lol.
i have friends from school who have been married for 10 years and have chidren in school mortgages the works.
my career and lifestyle choices in my teens and twenties were different...i went to uni, moved around for work, tried different places and things had some serious and long term relationships and some flings, worked hard and partied hard.
looking at dating people now i'm shocked by how miserable everyone got...most the guys my age here seem to be divorced or seperated with kids and have a lot of negatove views of women going on or else they are guys who still want to be out clubbing every night taking drugs and getting smashed..not realising that they are getting to the be old enough to be the fathers of the women they are trying to chat up.
i'd love to find someone like me who has a young and positive outlook and is just ready for the next phase | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/25/2009 7:56:12 AM | WOW! That's a huge generalisation isn't it?
I personally LOVE men and REAL men..Just because I picked one that didn't "CUT THE MUSTARD" doesn't mean all men are bad lol
Oh and just one other point - Not all men have more money than women lol... Some men are after women for their purses..
Doesn't look anything wrong with you at all - Ms Right will come along when the time is Right :-)
Good Luck
lissa | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:40:58 AM | *Laugh* First of all I can't see why someone's even comparing "20's" to any age over 30. That's just ridiculous. A brat at 20 has no experience whatsoever to know better in the first place.
Anyway, there are so many factors that play a role when you're over 30. People have mentioned kids which is certainly true. Then there's disappointment - one situation after the other, hairsplitting, no one's good enough and the list goes on. Too many are looking for a fantasy because they don't even know what they want. Some start experimenting only to get more hurt. They basically rape themselves by sleeping around for a while thinking that they'll have some fun. Then the gold diggers; as if money has ever offered happiness and love.
So there are many categories. I believe that ever since women "broke out" and started acting like men the world's gone downhill - at least in the western world. Women know their place but refuse to realize it - and we all know where that place is, or places rather... Oh you've forgotten? Well, how about in bed and in front of the stove. They abandoned their role and that's why few people are truly happy and satisfied these days. I'd say that it's time to cut the crap and go back to where we were. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:47:23 PM | | lol..I'm going to be 40 just over a year. I really don't see much of a difference for me in my 30's than in my 20's. dating sucked for me in my 20's as much as it did in my teens and my 30's it sucks as much as it did in my 20's. I have dates and I have "relationships" but as soon as the words "relationship" or "commitment" comes out which is never sooner than 3 months into dating, the woman turns and runs. I thought that was supposed to be us guys that were supposed to be afraid of it...least that's what I see on the cover of lots of those women's magazines while I'm line at the grocery store. lol...Cosmo "What does a woman need to do to get her guy to commit?" "Why are men so afraid of commitment when women aren't?" Maybe I need to just stop caring about the woman I'm dating and when she's ready to commit I just say "nope not my thing". | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:49:11 PM |
Women know their place but refuse to realize it - and we all know where that place is, or places rather... Oh you've forgotten? Well, how about in bed and in front of the stove. They abandoned their role and that's why few people are truly happy and satisfied these days. I'd say that it's time to cut the crap and go back to where we were.
I'll quote this, but I don't think my point even needs to be made. Just....wow. LOL | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:45:10 PM | | Where was that quote from, and what was that in reference to? I'm curious. And yes, I second that . .can we say thinking from 40-50 years ago? That's either one really bitter person, or maybe he was joking, hopefully. Even then, it's not really a joke.Sad if he really thinks that. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/26/2009 1:26:30 AM | | I'd say it's harder. In my late teens to 20's, I got hit on left and right without even having to think about it. Not much at all anymore, even though I try not to let myself go. But I have to actually put myself out there now (via POF), and it's awkward and harder to feel chemistry online than in person, but there just aren't as many opportunities in person, especially since most people my age are tied down with kids. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/26/2009 8:15:54 AM | No. It was not a joke and I stand by every word that I say or write. I don't think that women should work either. And by the way, what's so damn wrong about "thinking" as they did 50-100 years ago anyway? Back then men were men and women were women. Today you can hardly tell the difference anymore. I'm convinced that things will go back to as they once were.
Too many men on this site are nothing but pussies complaining about this site and about women. Let's face it, it's a trend to bullsh.it people, to cheat on your partner and yes - women can't be trusted and the same goes for many men as well. Get that through your head. People who expect to find someone who can be trusted and offer some REAL qualities, I wish that poor bastar.d good luck. Personally I'm just here for the forums. I don't want to get anything else out of this site - no dates, no friends, no favorites no nothing. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/26/2009 10:42:37 AM | " You must be extremely popular in mixed company."
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Well, I don't give a shi.t about what people think about my opinions - we're all entitled to them. I don't want to be on anybody's favorite list anyway.
"....not if you were to live to be a thousand...... "
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There it is - the mentality that is so typical to too many people - especially women like yourself. Countries in the world today that are constantly being bashed at for their values are at the same time fortunate enough to have preserved them in the first place. What we lost will come back - guaranteed. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/26/2009 11:07:54 AM | ^^^^^"especially women like [myself]"..... Plenty of platitudes coming out of you, but I note you never have the courage of your convictions. You never have any sort of actual discourse around what has led you to these conclusions. And you don't bother to answer direct questions.
What you believe we have "lost" will never come back; as it was not a 'loss' to any emotionally and intellectually intelligent, functional and humane person, male or female. Guaranteed.
So if/when you/'ve found/find this woman who "knows her place" and is happy to live her life subservient and servant to you, hold onto her for all you're worth. Or better yet, why not relocate to one of those "fortunate" countries you speak so highly of? | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/26/2009 6:09:40 PM | Hey Oregon state:
If you want my opinion, look at my thread entitled: "Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?"
I agree with it and live it right now. I think being more marketable is finding your strengths you didn't have in your 20's (mine is more experience, money no longer being as much as a burden, I would say better lover and more understanding of women by letting them be the center of attention).
Having said that, even though I am dating a wider array of women, I am spending LESS in entertainment than I did when I was in my 20's. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:33:44 PM | | I think it is harder because for me I have four other people that I have to think about now. VS then it was just me. I also have had alot go on in my life that has changed me some for good and some for bad. The thing is that we bring all of this into the new relationship and that can be alot. So back then where a first date was just that a date now it's more of a interview to know if the person is going to be safe enough to let into your life. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/27/2009 2:13:18 PM | I personally wouldn't date a man with a greasy "skullet" that hadn't had a bath since Happy Days went off the air that smelled of colt 45 and High Karate with a small penis and no social skills, but that's just my preference since we are putting it out there..
Some better take what they can get from these posts.
I hear ya sista!
Now why is it harder to date the older you get? Well, yanno, you look at a profile and think you're meeting one person. Then you see the dates on their grainy photos and well THEY think they still look like they did say 5/6 years ago...where they were probably the age they say they are now. But when they put the up to date pic in that clearly looks like they were rode hard and put away wet at a pro wrestler/trailer trash orgy and caught something communicable, then you're like OH HELLLLLL NO! The 80s called and they want their band roadie wardrobe back. Just me? Okay then...moving on... 
No offense to band roadies, pro wrestlers or trailer trash, or the 80s.
By the way to the original question, I would say no it is not harder. I mean it depends what you look like also. If you are like me, it is much easier and more fun for obvious reasons. But if you look like Howard Stern,Vin Diesel, or Jason Stathom or that actor that plays Spiderman in the Spiderman movies ( McGuire something??) then yes it will be hard(er) to find a lady that will like you, just on the basis of looks, and in the case of the last guy I mentioned, manhood lol.
Say what? Are YOU comparing yourself to any of the above mentioned? You think Jason Stathom has any trouble getting women??? Howard Stern has been married twice btw. Are you knucking futs? And Vin Diesel either? Really? You're right, you're nothing like them. GTFOOH | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:30:05 PM | I think we learn as we grow, if we choose to learn instead of being close minded and decide that it is the world that is flawed rather than accepting that we may be the ones who may need to become more for what we have experienced.
Maybe instead of thinking that all women are "out to get you --- lie, cheat, and take advantage of you" you would better serve yourself by examining your choices and letting go of some of your anger, cause you are hurting yourself more than anyone else by carrying that around. Yea, some people are jerks and some people are users and some people will chew you up and spit you out and leave you wondering wth just happened. But there are also people that are sincere and kind and have integrity -- and its up to you to choose which you let into your life.
Being a couple years older than you, Robert, I can tell you that life isn't always going to go along perfectly...you may have to deal with unexpected and unwanted b.s. that you feel you can hardly deal with...we all do. Its how you react to it that matters, whether you let it defeat you or make you stronger is up to you. Your beliefs and desires are your own, and knowing yourself is a good thing, but labeling people and making rash judgements about people based on your limited experiences is foolish. Open your mind, learn from your past, and let it make you a better person. Believe me, people are not going about their lives trying to tick you off...so you encountered a few jerks, welcome to the world, don't let them destroy you cause if you do you let them win. Be strong, be smart, and drop the persecution complex...there are good people in this world too, you just have to choose who you align yourself with. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:04:27 PM | beth you or right i am 59 year old and i belive there good lady and good man and bad one i have had lady that just looking for some one to take care of them but i am here for one reason to fine a good lady but on the other hand you got man that or looking for sex so you have bad man and bad woman so i am not say nougfhting about anyone
billy | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:54:59 PM | i have discover this furom and was happy to find this thread.
i was talking with friend the other day about this FACT when you cross 30 yrs
it seems to be really hard to find the right women.
is like the same feeling to be in the middle of no where and always looking for the impossible.....
john  | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 10/31/2009 12:06:05 PM | hmmm, I think it depends on a couple of factors specific to you rather than the overall dating market place.
On the surface dating in the college years is expected and your surrounding by your peers of both sexes which all share a mostly commonality which as you grow older seems to diverge once leaving college you are no longer surrounded by the same mix of people with almost identical points of view but rather a huge sea of different social and economic groups of people with an ever changing point of view. Can you find a pool of mid-thirties divorcees with similar points of view? Yes but I would hazard to bet you still would not find an abundance of those in one place or even a majority of those with overly similar views either.
People tend to have more baggage (views) the older they get these can become real obstacles for them in social situations as now they tend to preclude people from conversation or even consideration for conversation based on these views. I tend to like people with different views and find conversations with these people can be rather interesting but not everyone shares this thought process. It appears a lot of people tend to look for "like me".
Not sure that helps or not but my alternative answer is not as inspired or as thoughtful. The fact is not everyone shares your experience, I know plenty of people who date far more in their 30's, 40's and 50's than they did when they were in their 20's.
I would not trade my current abilities for those of my youth even if I could look 18 again. Of course I still have my hair! LOL, but I know bald dudes who can still catch the eye of some of the hottest women in a room so I am not sure that would change my view.
It comes down to learning hoyw to communicate or as some call it skills! LOL If your the gregarious type its easy if your a loner quiet type you better be damn movie star hot or she will never notice you are even in the room.
I do know my best advantage is the complete inaptitude of others. Its not that I am particularly great so much as they are so damn bad! 
PS: I disagree about acting your age! What's important it to know when to not act your age!
This is different than lying of course! I appose lying in general it can suck the fun right out of life! Besides I look damn good when you compare me to those my age! When you compare me to some college dude maybe not so much! LOL | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:24:27 AM | | I am having a much rougher time dating in my 30s than I did in my 20s. I have always been someone who was running a few years behind everyone else and I find that most of the women my age I have met are expecting a certain level of stability, comfort, etc at this point in our lives. Now there is nothing wrong with that at all but it makes it difficult for the ones like myself who are still figuring stuff out. It also doesn't help that most of my interests still include things like going out to see hot new bands and collecting records. I sometimes feel it's hard to relate to women my age yet at the same time I have a hard time relating to a lot of women in their 20s as well. I hope it's going to get easier but I have a feeling it just isn't at all. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:42:36 PM |
Women are bitter and angry at men in general because of the bad choices they have made for fathers of there children...
I have no ex-husband or baby's daddy to speak of so I am not bitter. Do not generalize women in one neat category.
I find dating in my thirties to be better than dating in my twenties. Why? I really don't know, but it is easier and more fun.  | |
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You must be extremely popular in mixed company. 
