cinsav
| | Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 126 | |
| | Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?Page 6 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | Dating in my 20's was easy.... Dating 20 year olds in my 30's is even easier. I am "seeing" a 28 year old now... I say seeing with quotation marks because it's casual as we both agreed that we're not right for each other for anything serious and or long term, but as far as grabbing dinner and catching a show, staying the night, just talking - it's a good match.
A lot of 20 something women like the maturity of a 30 something male... I can honestly say I've had more dates with 20 somethings in the past 3 or so years than I did from 20 to 30.
And, yes 30 something women go way overboard with those idiotic check lists they hold us too. Granted, not all of them are like that.... but most... yeah... they are. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/30/2009 10:01:19 AM |
It is a strange age to find a date because the expectations placed on you are very high: You should have a house, car, career high income, world traveler, post graduate degree, know your wines, enjoy fine dinning, fix anything, build anything, be physically fit, appreciate art, climbed at least one mountain, kayak owner, have your hair, perfect teeth, ride motorcycles, own a boat, speak a foreign language, own the right clothes, go to black-tie events, go to blue jean events, play a musical instrument, non-smoker but knows cigars, and many more I am forgetting. Oh yeah have a perfect memory.
lol that list is priceless I love it, I see TONS of women with profiles like this on plentyoffish and the other dating sites. Cmon ladies, get back to reality, this is not television! Sorry but this is one reason I prefer younger women, it's usually older women with profiles like this. I only say this from experience and reading so many profiles over the years. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/30/2009 11:38:07 AM | I can only comment on this from my perspective (still in my 20's) and from what I've heard from older friends who are in their 30's.
From that perspective it seems that it looks a bit like a wave -- in you're early 20's when your still in school or recently out it's pretty easy to date and meet people. As you progress towards that late 20's stage your in a weird spot where a lot of women are either too young (21,22,23) to settle down or at a stage where they are looking for someone older then them with specific characterstics (late 20's women). My single friends in their 30's don't seem to have too many problems getting a few date / month but their standards have become soooo high for what they will 'settle down with' it seems unlikely that they will ever meet someone who is their perfect 'model partner'.
For me 26 (turning 27) this has been a relatively difficult period to meet people in because many of my friends are getting engaged / settled down, younger women aren't interested in a long term relationship and girls my age seem to be looking for a slightly older, more established man. That being said I still go on a few first dates per month just haven't met the 'one' yet. | |
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cinsav
| | Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 130 | |
| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/30/2009 11:54:32 AM | Something about being 30 that people lose their minds. Most of them think they're all that and a bag of chips... when the truth is far less exciting. They're overweight (even if only a little), hold average jobs, live in average homes, drive average cars, take average vacations (if any at all), have average looks... average people with average lives.
But if you listen them - they think they're Brad Pitt or Cathy Zetta with the whole world at their feet. They all think they're something *special* and *one of a kind* and anyone "lucky enough" to warrant a date with them should count their lucky stars that someone so special as they is willing to even consider talking to them.
30 year olds have mental problems - where those problems stem from? Well, your guess is as good as mine.
Once they hit 40 it's a light switch clicks and they realize "wow there's nothing really that special about me after all... I'm like everyone else.... ok time to just enjoy the ride and have a good time!" THEN they come back down to earth and start acting like intelligent reasonable adults again.
As I've said a million times - whether your male or female - AVOID dating 30 somethings - stick to the 20's and 40's... Trust me you really will be that much happier. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/30/2009 4:30:44 PM | I agree, Women date 10 men at once now a days to try to find everything they want. I hate to say this because I used to date alot of women in the past, but lately its so freaking hard. I keep finding out how women set standards so out of this world high that they think its fun to play that game yet complain how they wonder why they are still single. Cant give all the blame to the opposite sex, some of our brothers have really screwed it up for the rest of us.
I wish not to date anyone, I want a relationship. Dating is instant gratification for being alone. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/30/2009 4:41:39 PM |
AVOID dating 30 somethings - stick to the 20's and 40's... Trust me you really will be that much happier.
I tend to agree with this. I never realized it till I went on a few dates this past summer. I was told by a women who was 5'9 and wore heels when she met me that I was too short for her(Im 6'1). I dont mind that she has prefrences, but she knew I was 6'1 going into the date...but I also was thrown back that a man can be over 6 foot and be too short for her, that was more suprising...She complained the whole date about how she cant find a nice guy, all guys are flakes...bla bla bla...but then I asked her..."dont you think your limiting your dating pool if you ONLY want guys who are 6'4 or above?...her response?...the usual..."I wont settle"...
I wont eiether, but the more restrictions you have on the people you date, the harder it is to find someone. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/30/2009 6:18:31 PM |
I agree, Women date 10 men at once now a days to try to find everything they want.
It was a joke. Sheesh.
I hate to say this because I used to date alot of women in the past, but lately its so freaking hard.
What's hard?
I keep finding out how women set standards so out of this world high that they think its fun to play that game yet complain how they wonder why they are still single.
I still think that a totally different group of women is complaining about being single than the one with high standards.
Cant give all the blame to the opposite sex, some of our brothers have really screwed it up for the rest of us.
That's true of both genders.
I wish not to date anyone, I want a relationship. Dating is instant gratification for being alone.
You're really going to have to explain what this means - I don't get your point. | |
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mggie
| | Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 134 | |
| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/30/2009 7:12:03 PM | I find in my 30's I have bcome attracted to younger me, in most cases they are unable or do not want a committment, so I get pissed and cry on my friends shoulder about being alone, but yet I think I sabatoge myself...
So or me dating in my 30's has been a huge let down. I just don't get the thing with younger men..my god I can't turn back the hands of time..can I ? | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/2/2009 4:52:01 PM | | Cinsav I'll have to agree with your assessment...I haven't been in my 30's very long but I already see it!! It's amazing. I'm definitely opting more towards 20somethings at my stage in the game. For some reason something never clicks right with me and single women in their 30's so far. I'm not sure what it is but I have some ideas about it here and there. I get along better with women in their 20's and 40's as well. | |
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Wiyan
| | Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 137 | |
| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/5/2009 1:40:43 PM | | No not at all! If anything I am now totally RELIEVED that I have learned a few things along the way and am now that much the wiser as well as more at peace. In my 20's I bought into the 'you and me together forever baby' script. Now I am not totally concerned about whether or not I am single, bc I know much more clearly what I do and do not want, so, with or without a man in my life, it will go on! | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/6/2009 4:12:15 AM | I find it EASIER to date now and fully enjoy it.
Its only natural to be more cautious to try again when youve been married or in a ltr, and then have to start over. You realize that part of the break up is your fault, even if its just because you made a bad decision to be with that person. (Of course, its usually more than that.) You learn to take more time before making any sort of big/life changing decison such as marriage or living together in an attempt to "be sure".
I used to think I needed a partner. Now I realize its really the companionship that I need and that can even come from platonic relationships. Of course, I very much want a mate for a variety of reasons. My desire for a (permanent) guy is also more mature which allows me to be more calm than in my earlier years, even though my sex drive is much higher.
I am truly happy and content with my life. A man would, of course, greatly enhance it.
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/6/2009 6:43:14 AM |
30 year olds have mental problems......Once they hit 40 it's a light switch clicks and they realize "wow there's nothing really that special about me after all... I'm like everyone else.... ok time to just enjoy the ride and have a good time!" THEN they come back down to earth and start acting like intelligent reasonable adults again. So it's 3 more years until you come back down to earth and start acting like a reasonable intelligent adult again.....
....finally an explanation that gels with all of your posts...... | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/8/2009 1:19:21 AM | Dating is definitely harder when you leave school and start working full-time. One reason dating sites are so appealing is because it can be done from home, but I find that it's better to meet women in real life.
I for one miss my college days when there were so many young women on campus living away from their parents for the first time and willing to explore.  | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/15/2009 11:42:28 PM | | op, depends on how far into your 30's you are. if early 30's, there's probably still a lot of unmarried women with no kids 25-32. mid 30's, a lot people are married, so fewer from whom to choose. late 30's and older, the divorces start up and the pool becomes wider again, but you have to expect an instant family then. that doesn't end until mid-40s and older when people's kids have moved out of the house. as far as being in 20's, especially early 20's, people are partying around with their college buddies, meeting girls at bars and frat parties and the like...so more opportunity. from about 25 and beyond, the partying ceases as more people get a serious career. they still go to bars, but there's not as much partying around to meet women. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/16/2009 12:05:47 PM |
Im 32 with no childern! Why does it seem like women always want to bring up the topic of me having one. When I was 20 none of the girls wanted children. Wat the hell is the rush
What's funny, sad, and disturbing at the same time is that where I live you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a girl who hasn't had at least one if not 3 or 4 kids by the time they are 30 and then they are all done with it. Midwest values suck...get married young and have your kids before you turn 25 or your never going to meet anyone. They say that once you are over 30 if you aren't married or have kids you are pretty much going to be stuck that way. They make it seem bad. I guess I look at it the other way. I'm not divorced...I haven't knocked one or more women up...I'm not paying child support. Granted...if you are in any of those cases and have taken on the responsibility that those issues create...that's cool. It's all the idiots (guys and girls alike) that don't take the responsablity that they have brought on themselves seriously. Last year we had an issue with giving parents that couldn't deal with their kids the power to "dump" them off at a hospital. This one single father of 8 kids dumped them off because he couldn't "deal" with it. IMO...should have thought of that before you went there. What made it all worse is that after he did that he turned around and got his new gf knocked up.
I have total respect for single parents that try to deal with the hand that they have been delt. The ones that I have zero respect for are the ones that try to find more ways to not deal with it and to let socitey deal with what they did. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/16/2009 12:07:23 PM |
I must say that it is way harder to date in your 20's. I may be just becoming a bit cynical but there is very little in the way of available people out there. Most woman I meet are looking for something perfect or just a hook up. Since I am not into hook ups and am a human being with some imperfections (not major just normal ones) and some good qualities but not totally hot it has been really hard to meet a normal woman that I find interesting and attractive (I am not really that picky either) to try and start something with. Maybe I am just not ready after separating almost a year ago but don't think that is an issue. Weird times anyways.
haha...you hear the EXACT same thing from women about us guys. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/16/2009 5:33:49 PM | | Yes, I know where you are coming from. I think it is the fact that good, honest relationships seem not to be the norm anymore. Just use these sites for example. I get hits all the time from guys who want to talk dirty or cheat on their wives...alot more than honest guys who seem to be interested in me as a person. More people are divorcing these days as well, so most people come with more baggage than in the past I think. Commitment doesn't seem to be the "IN" thing anymore. | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/16/2009 5:54:52 PM | i don't know, but reading half of this crap makes me depressed as fuk, at the thought of turning thirty.
edit; oh shit, i am already fuking thirty...where is the drano so that i can drink myself to death. i want a fuking party at my funeral. kenny g. better be singing... | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/16/2009 7:57:30 PM | Dating for me has been the best it's ever been for the last few years. High school was a joke. College too. I honestly couldn't find a single girl remotely on my wavelength. And believe me I tried. Boy, did I try.
I think my problem was I never wanted to go anywhere near the hookup/bar/club scene and that was practically all there was in the party school I went to.
Then I moved to Texas and almost immediately was knocked down by a flurry of dates from multiple women! I didn't even have to try. Amazing. And then I had a nice LTR with one of them.
Now that I've moved back to Boston I've had a handful of dates and I've only been here for a little over a month.
I really do think a lot of this is based on newfound -- AND VERY HARD-WON -- confidence and self-esteem. It clicked in my head that I am desirable and it CAN be done. And that it's not that big of a deal. It's funny. It's so paradoxical. Love/relationships can be a big deal, but as soon as you realize that, you fixate on it and you blow your chances!
I think the key to realize as I get older is this: you MUST, MUST, come to terms with how caustic reality can be, ON YOUR OWN, before you get into a relationship. Nobody can "rescue you" from yourself. That's not a girl/boyfriend's, wife's, whatever's job. You must be able to suck on the barrel of reality on your own first. Because, ultimately, I think we're all alone, even if we're in relationships, which are the definition of risk.
Another thing I learned: a relationship is NOT a hobby. It's not another interest. If you're bored and unsatisfied in your life alone, you'll most likely be bored and unsatisfied in a relationship. Then you'll NEVER be happy either way! What a way to "live" life, huh? Enough already.
One last thing: I really believe that for "finding" someone, the harder you look, the harder it gets. I think life is actually giving you benevolent hints here. It's telling you to focus more on your own life and fun which will make you that much more appealing to a prospective partner and make the relationship a lot more fun and carefree than the "Romeo and Juliet" BS which will ultimately self-destruct because it's too intense.
So yeah. Life for me at 26 is pretty -- GASP! -- good. I'm excited for my new nursing career and have plans and a goal OTHER than just getting into a freakin' relationship. THANK GOD, I'm starting to see the promised land. And the best part is there doesn't have to be a woman in it! | |
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| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/18/2009 9:28:52 PM | err...no.
We even get to be so picky! In our twenties, we shagged anyone that had a skirt. Sometimes, a prankster would laugh at our attempts at a bollard. But that's being 20+ for you. Blind and horny.
Like most 30+ single people will tell you, money, a bit of wisdom and some technical capability can go a fair distance in the dating world, not necessarily on-line dating. | |
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MrP.
| | Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 150 | |
| Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/20/2009 6:16:42 PM | Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
From a strictly dating sense, yes it is. As you get further into your 30's you will be fishing in a gradually smaller pond.
Life in general however will get much easier as you learn what's important and what isn't. You will also have a better understanding of yourself and what you want out of life.
MrP | |
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